


A Convenient Lie

by Denrhea



Series: Truth and Lies [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-06-09 08:27:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 83,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15263415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denrhea/pseuds/Denrhea
Summary: Yuuri is pregnant (so if you missed the tag, obviously an MPreg) and everyone assumes the child belongs to Victor because they were caught together after one night in Sochi.  (Partially inspired byPeople Will Talkstarring Cary Grant and Jeanne Crain.)Warning:  Mentions of past rape and suggestions of dubious consent (that did not occur).   This will be throughout the fic and I won't warn every chapter...so consider yourself warned.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A few things before we get started:
> 
> If you don't know how general omegaverse worlds work, google is your friend. (Do not ask me how babies are born? I'm not your sex ed teacher.) As my world deviates, I will put explanations in the endnotes for clarity and so we don't spoil the story.

* * *

 

 

 

Victor Nikiforov checked his reflection in the bathroom mirror one last time, practicing his artificial smile.  He was well known in many circles, not just figure skating, and that brought more attention at these banquets than he wanted.  With modeling, product endorsements, a few minor acting roles, he has garnered attention. A lot of attention. Sponsors, reporters, and various hangers-on would undoubtedly hound him throughout the banquet, just like the one before that and the one before that.  What they never understood was that while he truly loved skating, the fame, notoriety that came with it was never attractive. Skating was his first love and he couldn’t depart from it. That’s why the inevitable questions about his retirement annoyed him so much.  Part of him understood his time on the ice was running out, every year his back ached more, his knees creaked louder, but he refused to allow himself to think past that. Not when he had a rink full of younger skaters to work with, to create and choreograph for, to get inspiration from.   Not when his young protege gave their older coach so much trouble, and needed to be chased after about cleaning his footwork sequences. Not when he was still at the top of his game. Not when…

 

He left the bathroom, the hall to the banquet room was wide and still had several people lingering around.  Victor felt on edge, something pulling his focus from himself. The omega caught his attention.  Perhaps it was the anxious distress.  Victor went to approach the raven haired man when he felt the blond beside him pull at his sleeve.

 

Yuri huffed, puffing blonde fringe from his eyes, “Ignore that pig.”

 

But Victor had noticed the eye contact, and the large brown eyes that caught his.  Without thinking, he parroted out the phrase drilled into him like a trained monkey, or maybe a dog...dogs were better...“Would you like a commemorative photo?”

 

The omega’s eyes widened, his mouth opened but nothing came out, and then he was gone.  Yuri Plisetsky, the aforementioned 15-year-old blond protege, chortled with glee. Victor’s eyes followed his path and asked, “Why did he run?”

 

“Pfft.  Because you’re not all that!” Yuri jibed continuing to laugh at his rejection.

 

Victor rubbed the back of his neck, thrown off by the encounter...or lack thereof.  Turning back to the blond, he gave a disapproving frown and continued his trek out of the building.  “Lilia would not approve of your behavior.”

 

“Well, the hag isn’t here, is she?”  Yuri turned his back and made a quick retreat, seeing their coach appear from the back.

 

Victor pursed his lips.  Sometimes he found it hard to love his protege.

* * *

  
  
  


The night of the banquet Victor was all smiles, greeting sponsors warmly and talking with ISU officials.  It never failed.  He would be enjoying a conversation about skating, the skill, the freedom, and someone would have to ruin it.  Someone would ask about his possible retirement and that smile would dim.  Seeking to escape their inquiries, he moved away from the business side of events and thought to join the other skaters who had shaken off their coaches and sponsors and were actually enjoying themselves.  Across the room he noticed the omega from earlier.  Stepping closer, Victor could still tell something was off in his scent even as he watched Yuuri down another glass of champagne.  A voice by his ear startled him but he recognized the silkiness after a moment.

 

“Someone’s going to have to keep an eye on that one,” Chris nodded, lifting his glass towards Yuuri.  The Swiss alpha was somewhat of a legend in his own right in figure skating circles.  It was said that he’d seduced every skater over the age of twenty.  Every. Single. Skater. No preference. Male. Female. Alpha. Beta. Omega.  However, Victor knew otherwise.  Chris was a flirt but happily mated.  He did have a big brother complex, however, and that made him protective of the younger skaters in a teasing way.  His closeness and flirty demeanor helped to create the false mystique.

 

“He ran from me earlier,” Victor confessed, wincing at how easily that rolled off of his tongue.  Chris was like that.  Victor would confess his soul to his dear friend without realizing it was happening.

 

Chris swung in front of Victor with a graceful motion, a sultry pout on his lips. “ _ Mon Dieu _ !  Someone who doesn’t fall at your glorious alpha feet!”

 

Victor swatted at him.  “Stop that.  You sound like Yura.”

 

Chris frowned at that.  Turning back to the omega in question, who was thankfully unaware that he was the object of their discussion, Chris continued, “Yuuri has always been on the shy side, very focused on his skating.  I remember him from Juniors.  Driven, but hard to get him to open up.”  He turned to raise an eyebrow towards Victor.  “Perfect for you, really,” Chris added dryly.

 

“I do play...sometimes,” Victor argued.

 

Chris leveled a glare at his friend, “When Lawrie and I drag you out.”  Turning back to Yuuri, he added, “He’s a little more timid than usual. I don’t normally see him drink.”  He glanced around the room, realizing there was a missing member of the party.  “I wonder if his coach is aware.”

 

Victor shrugged, “I haven’t seen him in a while.”

 

Chris narrowed his eyes, thinking of his past interactions with the reticent skater, “Yuuri’s usually the type to come down, make the necessary rounds, and sneak back at the first opportunity.  His coach probably doesn’t think he needs to babysit him. Of course, you know how protective Celestino is over his skaters.”

 

Victor nodded, taking a final swig of his own champagne before setting the glass aside.  “True...which is why I’m surprised he’s not here anyway.”

 

“Yuuri’s in his mid-twenties.  Ciao Ciao has the babies to look after, they brought a couple of the Juniors from their club for experience.  Yuuri can normally handle himself.”

 

Victor hummed, not happy with the explanation, “But like you said, he doesn’t normally drink like this.”

 

Chris nodded, taking another sip of his own drink.  “Something’s been off with him. I skated against him in Skate America and his program...he made me work for it, it was amazing.  Real artistry.  He walked away with a silver, but honestly I just barely edged him out of the top spot.  He got a silver at NHK as well.  But something’s worked under his skin since then...and it’s only been a month.”

 

Victor studied Yuuri thoughtfully taking in all of Chris’ information before he decided, “I’m going to talk to him.”

 

Chris laughed softly and called after him, “Good luck!”

 

However, before Victor could approach him, Yuuri turned on none other than Yuri and the angry kitten came back at him with claws.  Victor moved in close, ready to step in if the young alpha overstepped his bounds.  Yuuri, tipsy and filled with liquid courage, seemed to be handling himself just fine and challenged the youth to a dance off.  Victor looked startled, his eyes moving to the currently unoccupied and for the most part ignored dance floor.  “Does anyone dance at these things?”

 

“They should…” Chris responded back at his shoulder, “We are, after all, figure skaters...which implies that we’ve had a certain amount of dance training.”

 

“I’m not sure ballet translates to…”  But Victor’s words died on his tongue as he watched Yuuri move on the floor.  Confident and in his element, Yuuri incorporated familiar dance styles with street dances.  He mixed the muscle definition and flexibility for his gorgeous program with hip hop moves and breakdancing, and Victor was intrigued.  And Yuri...was beat.  The young alpha was red faced and walked off with an angry huff.  Victor figured the kitten would return to his room and lick his wounds.  Turning back to the dance floor and the audience that had gathered, Victor was surprised when Yuuri approached him...well, him and Chris.

 

“Who’s next?” Yuuri challenged.

 

Victor’s mouth opened in surprise but Chris was always ready for a party and some mischief.  He did  _ earn  _ the rumors said about him after all...just not in the way most realized.  He watched Chris guide him across the room and his eyes widened as they stopped at a steel pole used to support the building.

 

“What do you say we put these poles to a better use?” Chris suggested.

 

Victor wondered to himself if Chris knew Yuuri could pole dance ahead of time.  The younger alpha had been trying to get Victor to take lessons for years.  Yuuri pulled himself up on the pole with experienced ease.  His strength and skill challenged Chris’ and Victor watched in wide eyed fascination with an open mouth.  He wasn’t the only one.  He felt others draw near.  A thought wormed his way into Victor’s head.  _  Why hasn’t Yuuri been in the Final before now? _  Maybe it had something to do with translating from the dance floor to the ice.  Skills.  But Yuuri was here now and Victor hoped the gorgeous man was here to stay.  There was a time when the sport was omega dominated.  Then the ISU changed the scoring system in an attempt to “balance” the sport.  What they created was another alpha dominated sport in the process.  Artistry sacrificed for skill.  But Yuuri...he appeared to have both.

 

Yuuri and Chris finished, the latter breathless as he picked up his clothes, the former sliding his somewhat back in order with the grace of a dancer, unaware or unconcerned with the eyes upon him.  He turned, his brown eyes meeting Victor’s blue and they held for a moment before Yuuri looked away, uncertain all of the sudden, his confidence faltering.  Those eyes went back to the table holding the drinks.  He chewed his lip as if considering it but then shook his head and turned with purpose asking Victor to dance with him.

 

Victor was  [ lost in those eyes ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Fahv-IxLaE) .  Sometimes he couldn’t follow Yuuri’s words, his accent thick in his drunken state, but he managed to hold up his end of the conversation.  They moved from a rhumba to a waltz and at some point, even danced a tango.  Yuuri had no problem leading...and Victor wanted to be led by this incredible man.  Yuuri could lead him anywhere at this point.

 

As the dance slowed, Yuuri rested his forehead against Victor’s shoulder, a bit pale but Yuuri lifted his head as he tried to push past it.  “I need to...will you excuse me? For just a moment?”  Victor let him go, watching him leave the room.

 

Yuuri had been gone five minutes when Chris came up behind Victor, his eyebrows furrowed.  “Someone is going into rut and didn’t have the decency to stay in their room.”

 

Victor blinked a moment as those words set in.  “Yuuri…” Chris followed Victor’s eyes to the door the omega had exited and then they were both headed that direction.  The smell was stronger in the hallway. Moving towards the main men’s restroom, they entered.

 

At first, they thought no one was there but then Victor stilled, smelling the fear coming from  Yuuri.  Turning the corner, he moved to the final stall, larger for male omegas to tend to their needs and with a door all the way to the floor.  Knocking, Victor asked gently, “Are you okay?”  There was a moment of quiet, then a small whimper before Yuuri slid the lock back from the door.  The younger man looked shaken and Victor’s mind shot to the worst.  “Did someone hurt you?”

 

Yuuri shook his head but Victor wasn’t sure what to think with the way Yuuri was trembling in his arms now, fear souring his beautiful scent.

 

“Let’s get you back to your room,” Victor suggested.

 

Chris stepped into the stall as Yuuri left and picked up anything he left behind.  Glasses, jacket, tie...looking around, he saw nothing else and followed them to the elevator.

 

“What room are you in?” Victor prompted.

 

Yuuri reached into his pocket then frowned in confusion.  Glancing back to the ballroom, Victor surmised that Yuuri lost the key while he danced.  “My phone is in my room,” he said, his hands shaking, the fear turning into something stronger, panic.  “I...what do I do?”

 

“It’s okay, Yuuri...we’ll take care of you.”  He held Yuuri, letting him breath in his scent as he considered their options.  With an alpha in rut, Victor didn’t want to risk sending Yuuri back to his room unprotected with his key out there.  They could rekey it at a better hotel but this was an older one, still in good shape but using metal keys along with a keycard for their omega rooms.  Victor furrowed his brow as he considered their options. He didn’t have Celestino’s number on his phone and his own coach had left with Yuri in tow.  “Yuuri, would you be okay with my room?”  The offer came out before he had a chance to think about it.  The startled glance from Chris and an expression that clearly said _ this is a bad idea  _ confirmed it.  But...Yuuri nodded against his shoulder.

  
Chris walked with them to the elevator and kept Victor company all the way to his room.  As Yuuri went inside, the Swiss stayed Victor for a moment with a touch of his hand.  “This is a bad idea,” he pressed.

 

Victor shrugged, he had been waiting for that statement since they entered the elevator.  “I know, but there is an alpha in rut somewhere in this hotel.  Yuuri’s room isn’t secure.  I don’t know how to reach his coach, my own coach will only yell and send him into a panic attack...I have to keep him safe,” Victor argued.

 

Chris stood back.  His friend had always been a decent man, but this was something more, it came from a deeper part of him.  He furrowed his brow and asked, “Where’s this coming from?”

 

Victor glanced back in the room then over to Chris before answering, “I...don’t know.  But seeing him...like that...something spooked him.”

 

“Call your coach,” Chris pushed.  “Nothing good can come of this.”

 

“I’m fine...I’ve got this.”  Victor flashed his press conference smile, “Besides, my reputation is spotless.”

 

Chris watched the silver hair disappear behind the closing door, muttering, “For now.”  

 

Inside the room Victor chose to ignore it, chose to ignore the warning in the back of his head.  

 

Instead, he focused on the omega curled up in a ball in the middle of his bed.  Victor smiled, seeing his shoes were neatly placed beside the door and the Russian man followed the Japanese custom in suit.

 

Approaching the bed slowly, Victor searched his thoughts on how to help the omega settle.  “Would you like something more comfortable to sleep in?” Victor offered, unsure what he had on hand but knowing the suit wouldn’t do well for sleeping.  Yuuri sat up and Victor’s breath caught at the look on his face, vulnerable and...he watched that pink tongue lick his lips.  _  Fuck! _

 

His alpha was whining, begging to be let loose, to take the vulnerable omega in his arms and soothe every fear.  Victor held firm, stepping towards the dresser and pulling out a t-shirt and pajamas. Without turning, he said, “I wore these last night but…”  A small hand reached for it pulling it to his nose and Victor thought for a second time that night as Yuuri breathed in his scent,  _ Fuck! _

 

“The bathroom…” he watched in rapt fascination as Yuuri slipped out of his clothes and into the pajamas Victor offered him, almost unaware that he was practically nude before Victor.  Of course, that hadn’t been the only time that night.  Victor was known to be a strip drunk.  He wondered if Yuuri was aware of that tendency.  Victor’s thoughts stuttered as he watched Yuuri stretch out across the bed, turning brown eyes his direction, batting them as he reached towards Victor with a hand.  _  Fuck! _

 

“I’ve got to...change,” he squeaked out.   _ Was that my voice?   _ He grabbed the second set of pajamas and disappeared into the bathroom.  Closing the door behind him, he admitted, _ this is a bad idea. _

 

Victor took his time, washing his face, splashing a little extra cool water on his face, the back of his neck and over his scent glands.  He dressed in his pajamas as his mind wandered over to the omega in the other room.   _ What had him so afraid? _  The bathroom was empty when he and Chris entered it and there was no sign of the rutting alpha.

 

He eased back into the bedroom, his eyes resting on the form curled up in the middle of his bed, now snuggled under the covers.  He sighed, not sure what to do now besides sleep.  Settling in next to Yuuri, his body wrapped around the curled up form protectively.  He jumped in surprise as Yuuri turned and nestled into him, breathing his scent in the enclosed space. 

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri woke up as the light spilled across his face and looked around in confusion, the unfamiliar space was made even more unfamiliar by the presence of the alpha next to him.  And what was worse, or was it better, was that Yuuri knew him.  Victor’s eyes fluttered open finding Yuuri sitting knees drawn up to his chest.  He watched Yuuri a moment, his hand reaching out automatically to run down his arms and then grasp his hand.  Yuuri looked at the connection then back over at him.

 

“I...don’t remember last night,” he confessed softly then shivered.

 

Victor sat up and asked first, “Are you cold?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “A little.”

 

Victor crossed the room and rummaged around until he found a hoodie.  He smelled it then frowned. “I know I’ve worn it a couple of times.” He tossed it to Yuuri who caught it and pulled it to his nose instinctively before pulling it on.  “I guess...that’s fine.” Returning back to Yuuri’s side, he considered how to answer Yuuri’s question. “Last night...you drank a lot.”

 

Yuuri hugged himself protectively.  “I know...I don’t usually…”

 

Victor watched as the man seemed to cave in on himself, “Chris said as much.  Is it...because of how you skated?”

 

Yuuri shrugged but didn’t add to it.  Victor nodded.  He could respect that.  Yuuri barely knew him and woke up in his bed.  Trust has to be low right now.

 

Victor assumed that if he could fill in the missing pieces of Yuuri’s memory the man would open up to him.  “We...danced.  A lot. Then you went to the bathroom.  When we checked on you...well, you were scared and we weren’t sure what happened.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes darted up to Victor’s face, wide with terror.  “Did I...was there anything wrong?”

 

Victor could sense, and smell, the horror from the other.  He reached out to run a hand over Yuuri in comfort.  “No...you were scared.  The only thing off was some fucking alpha going into rut and shooting off his pheromones in the hallway.”

 

Yuuri dropped his eyes and said, “Oh.”

 

Victor waited a moment, letting Yuuri’s panic settle down.  “Chris and I were helping you get yourself together to take you back to your room...but you were missing your key.  I don’t know...it may have been a bad idea but I didn’t know how to reach your coach, my coach would have just flipped out on us.  So I brought you here.”

 

Yuuri processed those words a moment before asking, “Did we…”  A pounding on the door interrupted the question, drowning out the softly spoken words.

 

Victor sighed, recognizing the heavy hand of one of those knocks.  “That...would be our coaches.”

 

Yuuri looked down at his pajamas before lifting his eyes to meet Victor’s.  “I guess I should get dressed.”

 

Victor shook his head.  “Don’t worry about it. I’m a lazy shopper and probably have three of each of those.”  He answered the door as Yuuri gathered his clothes. “Good morning!” he greeted pasting on a winning smile.

 

“Vitya, what the hell have you done?” Yakov began.

 

Celestino rushed past him to check on his skater.  “Are you okay?  I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”  Before waiting for an answer the Italian coach was already leading Yuuri from the room.

 

“I...lost my key.  There was an alpha in rut.  I slept here,” Yuuri tumbled out like a teenager in trouble.  Victor frowned as he observed the interplay.  Yuuri followed him out and he noticed Yakov frowning as well.  He also noticed a bond mark where the hoodie pulled away from Yuuri’s neck.   _ I didn’t smell an alpha on him. _

 

“What was that?” Victor asked.

 

Yakov’s eyes followed the other coach and the skater as they climbed onto the elevator, “I...some coaches become too attached to their students.”

 

Victor could hear in the old coach’s voice that he was holding back something.  “I mean...you can be a grouchy uncle at times...but that…”

 

Yakov frowned, looking at the floor.  “I agree...but maybe that’s what Yuuri needs.”  The coach then turned, moving them back into the room and closing the door.

 

Victor tapped his lip thoughtfully.  “Chris says Yuuri’s changed over the last month.  He thinks something happened between the NHK and the Final.”

 

Yakov nodded absently and then rounded on Victor.  “What were you thinking bringing a bonded omega into your room?”

 

“I...didn’t know.  He’s not wearing an alpha’s scent.  And well...I don’t make it a habit to look down the collar of the men I flirt with.”

 

Yakov paced back and forth.  “Did you and he…”

 

“No...he was drunk.  He couldn’t consent.”  Victor made a face in irritation, sitting down on the bed.  “You know me better than that.  You trust me to teach, to work the young ones…how can you ask that?”

 

Yakov sighed, sitting heavily on the bed next to Victor, he patted the skater’s knee affectionately.  “That’s not how the press will spin it.  I can just imagine the scandal coming from this. There are cameras in the hallways in the hotels.  Someone saw you two go into your room.”

 

Victor leaned back on his arms.  “Why should they care?  Why is it anyone’s business?”

 

Yakov sighed, not unfamiliar territory but he had a headache and was awakened by an angry fellow coach.  “It shouldn’t be, Vitya...but for some reason they think your celebrity status gives them a right to your private life.  We’ll deal with this...I just want you thinking about your statement.”

 

“I don’t know what to say.  I’d rather talk to Yuuri more.”  Victor considered the man who left his scent behind.  “I didn’t...get his number.  I have no way to contact him.”

 

Yakov chortled, thinking of another skater he could barely get to leave his phone alone.  “Don’t be ridiculous, Vitya...find him on the internet...that Facepage thing.”

 

“Facebook,” Victor corrected automatically, “...and no one really uses that anymore.  I could try Instagram or Twitter.”

 

“Whatever.  I just mean, you know how to get in contact with him if you really want to.”

 

He looked up at his coach and said, “I think...Yuuri didn’t agree to that bondmark.”

 

Yakov turned to the door and Victor knew he was reviewing the events in his mind.  “You may be right.  That would explain his coach’s behavior.  One lapse, his skater is hurt...he doesn’t want it to happen again.”

 

Victor nodded.  He sat up, capturing his coach’s eyes, “I wouldn’t hurt him.  I just...wanted to keep him safe. I should have woke you up but last night that suggestion didn’t make sense.”

 

Yakov waved a hand at him.  “It is what it is...let’s just pick up the pieces.  Pack, Vitya...I’ll meet you downstairs at ten for check out.”

 

* * *

  
  


Victor’s eyes sought Yuuri’s out in the lobby.  Those brown eyes darted his way then dropped, his body shifting nervously under Coach Celestino’s regard.  The coach leaned in and said something to Yuuri who nodded sharply and stood up straighter.  Then they checked out and the coach guided Yuuri out along with a few others...but that protective hand rested on Yuuri’s back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite everything, the scandal spreads and the world is talking about Victor bedding a bonded omega. But who has he bonded with? No one seems to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the comments in the first chapter and the obvious interest. This will post on Thursdays...and I've written through chapter 14. So don't worry about me forgetting it. My posting schedule is below:
> 
> Tuesday: Lost and Found  
> Wednesday: Lifeline  
> Thursday: A Convenient Lie  
> Friday: Glittering Youth
> 
> I am juggling four stories so this is the best schedule for me.

* * *

 

 

Victor frowned as he read another story in the news...made up facts and suppositions were what passed for journalism on certain websites.  Some of the countries worse, others better based on laws, but the implications were all the same. However, Victor knew that in a vacuum he had given the credible journalists little to help him with.  Even with Yakov barking in his ear almost daily, he’d still yet to give a statement. The one comfort was that Yuuri hadn’t either, expertly avoiding the press and personal questions when they are unavoidable.  Victor stopped,  _ was that a comfort, or do I only feel worse?  _

 

Groaning Victor heard the telltale ping of a news feed update in his inbox.  Initially he went to delete this one, but he caught the familiar wide brown eyes and without a second thought he clicked it into action.

 

He watched the press, it was really three bullies with cell phone cameras, trying to corner the omega outside his rink in Detroit asking him about his association with Victor Nikiforov and just who was his bondmate.  Yuuri gave them a look of wide eyed innocence. “I don’t know what you mean.”

 

The one who had uploaded this footage called out from behind his phone, “You were seen entering the room of Victor Nikiforov the night of the banquet and leaving it the next morning with your coach.  Can you explain that?”

 

Yuuri turned looking beyond the phone, at the operator, clearly unnerved.  “N-no, I can’t really…” Then he shut down. “No comment.”

 

A second man stepped up, blocking the entrance of the rink.  “Mr. Katsuki, are you in a bonded relationship?”

 

Yuuri rubbed the back of his neck nervously, distress showing in his face.  He shook his head, tugging at his hair. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

 

“The public has the right to know,” the reporter pressed.

 

Brown eyes flashed with rage as Yuuri returned with, “No, they do not.  Now back off.” Victor had heard about Omegas being able to flash their pheromones when under attack, a protective response.  He’d never seen it in action. The one blocking the door dropped his arms and hung his head, backing slowly out of Yuuri’s path.  The footage shifted as the camera was lowered, almost involuntarily. The reporters...they didn’t fall to submission like when an alpha presence comes forward.  But there was a clear boundary around Yuuri as he walked through them.

 

“He’ll have to teach me that move,” Victor murmured with a smile but that smile faded as he considered Yuuri’s stress response.  “What happened to you?” He had his suspicions. He’d discussed them with Chris. The other alpha had similar suspicions.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri threw up once more, his nerves really on edge.  He was sharing a room with Ciao Ciao this competition.  Not the first time. It made sense when it was just the two of them, however Yuuri suspected that this was a response to what had happened at the Grand Prix Final.  As his coach pressed the glass of water into his hand and placed a cool cloth against the back of his neck, he guided Yuuri to sit down. “The doctor’s warned you’d start becoming nauseous once you started rejecting the bond.”

 

“I know,” Yuuri murmured.  He felt weak and that wasn’t good.  Going onto the ice with an empty stomach was one thing, performing multiple jumps and spins in front of an audience and judges with nothing inside except cramps and that hollow feeling was dangerous.  “I still want to skate.”

 

“I can tell them it’s the flu,” Celestino pressed once more.

 

Yuuri whimpered unhappily at the thought.  “I...need this. I’m still a skater.” He looked up at his coach beseechingly.  “I can’t lose this. I’ve worked too hard.”

 

The coach rubbed his arm, trying to soothe.  “But...things have changed.”

 

“Not by my choice!” Yuuri shouted, throwing the glass across the room.  It was plastic and as it bounced off the wall, Yuuri sighed. It wasn’t near as satisfying as the number of things he’d broken in his dorm room after it had first happened.  “Sorry, coach,” he whispered. “I...I’m still angry.”

 

“Angry is good.  Hell, angry is healthy.  Get it out.” The coach stepped into the bathroom to get a towel and clean up the mess.  Coming back in, he asked, “Did you...tell your family?”

 

Yuuri looked up, his eyes half glare, half exasperation.  “They’ve...called. Especially after the press honed in on the bond mark.  I just...haven’t answered.”

 

“Yuuri…” Celestino started but he was cut off immediately.

 

“What am I going to say?”  Yuuri’s arms went wide, he was hurt, angry, lost, he felt everything and nothing at the same time.  But what he knew was that if he could just skate he could take a little of himself back. “If I tell them, they’ll demand I come home.  It’s better this way. Let them think what they think.”

 

“Your family cares about you,” his coach protested.

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “I know...but I also had to fight them to let me go to the States to train.  This only confirms all of their fears.” He met Celestino’s gaze. “You know how it is.”

 

The coach hesitantly nodded.  It was one of the reasons he became a coach.  He trained omegas (and a few betas) with the promise of a safe place.  Except...in this case, he failed. Twice. As his eyes rested on the young omega, he asked, “What of Nikiforov?”

 

Yuuri took the cloth from his neck tossing it onto the nightstand.  He laughed, a cruel little chuckle aimed at himself. “What about him?  It’s not like he’s acknowledging anything to the press. I don’t remember anything but it was obviously a one night stand to him.”  Meeting the coach’s eyes, he added, “I just...thought he was kind.”

 

“If he slept with you drunk, he’s not kind,” the coach pointed out.

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes.  “That’s...not what I meant.  He seemed like...a safe place.”  The omega then shrugged and added, “Besides, he might have been as drunk as me.”

 

“That’s not how it appeared in the video...and that Christophe was complicite!”  Celestino took the cloth and tossed it into the bathroom sink, he stopped. “Why isn’t he getting any press?”

 

Yuuri groaned.  “I don’t want any press on the matter.  People just need to stay out of my own business.”  He looked off and added, “I have enough to deal with.”

 

“I know...I just...you know I’m here for you.”

 

“I know,” Yuuri said quietly.

 

* * *

  
  


But the problem with figure skating is one that any skater can tell you.  The coaches, the rink mates are all there for you, at practice, at rehearsal, at run throughs… they are there on the phone, and the internet… but never on the ice.  Yuuri, much like every skater ever, stood completely alone on the ice at Nationals, and he unravelled, failing miserably. His confidence destroyed, his balance off from the sickness, he lost every edge, falling on every jump.  Battling back with beautiful step sequences, but even those and flawless spins couldn’t replace the under rotated crash landings. He came in last. 

 

The press was predictably nasty in their statements although a few remained loyal to the figure skater.  Morooka tried to get a private interview away from the crowd. However, Yuuri wasn’t in the mood for talking.   Sitting in the medic’s office, they went over his injuries. Nothing permanent, just a lot of bruising and a sprained wrist but as he jumped up and ran to the trash can to empty his stomach, the medic’s gaze sharpened.  “Have you had a pregnancy test recently?”

 

Yuuri glared up at him.  “Yes...it was part of my physical for the Grand Prix Final.  They considered it recent enough they didn’t bother for Nationals.”

 

“It’s just that…” the medic motioned towards the trash can.

 

Yuuri glanced towards his mess and grimaced.  “It’s just nerves.” But when he left the room, he murmured quietly with his coach, “Can you get me a pregnancy test?”

 

“Yuuri?”

 

“I know...I had the morning after pill...after...it happened.  But...what if it isn’t just rejecting the bond? And...I know it’s harder to get pregnant when not in heat, but it still happens.”

 

Ciao Ciao stood quietly, not wanting to ask the question that hung between them.  “You think...Victor?”

 

Yuuri shut his eyes, shaking his head.  “I honestly don’t know what to think but I can’t keep anything down since the Final.”  He lifted his eyes to his coach blinking back tears. “I just want this to be over.”

 

His coach pulled him into a hug and murmured quietly, “I know, Yuuri.  I know.”

 

* * *

  
  


Two hours later, Yuuri was staring at the results of the pregnancy test.  Omegas were quick to read positive. It...could be Victor’s. It could also be the other one’s.  He lifted tearfilled eyes up to his coach’s and asked, “What now?”

 

Celestino knew what Yuuri wanted to hear, and it was the opposite of what he had to say.  The young man had taken the positive display too quietly, too calmly and his coach knew that a harsh outburst was bubbling just under his skin.  He took a deep breath, “I think...it’s time to go home.”

 

Yuuri’s breathing turned rapid, his chest heaving with each inhale.  “But what about my skating!”

 

Ciao Ciao tried to settle the young omega who was quickly giving way to panic.  “Yuuri...you know you can’t…”

 

“I’ve worked so hard!”  Yuuri’s voice was high pitched, almost foreign in tone.  It was sharp and tense.

 

Celestino wet his lips, “And if you were female, I’d suggest an abortion to you.  You know world laws forbid abortion for male omegas except when their life is in danger.”  He waited, watching the younger man slowly settle himself, taking in the reality of the situation.  “They won’t even perform them on the streets…not that I’d ever suggest that.”

 

“You had it done,” Yuuri pressed, his countenance turning dark.

 

Ciao Ciao winced at the words.  He’d never confirmed it but he knew it was rumored.  “And...I’ve regretted it ever since. I couldn’t have my own children because of that decision.”  He held Yuuri’s eyes and continued. “That was a long time ago...it’s even harder now.”

 

“But to give up skating!” Yuuri pleaded.  “I was so close!”

 

“You were...and you can get there again.  After,” the coach’s voice was soft as he tried to settle his student.

 

Yuuri’s eyes flashed, furious now.  “You just want to be rid of me. I’m an embarrassment, a liability.”  He lashed out, knowing his words were lies, but he wanted to...needed to make someone, anyone feel as terrible as he felt at that moment.

 

Sighing, Celestino whispered, “You know that’s not true.”

 

It didn’t take away how Yuuri felt.  “I could go back to Detroit,” he bargained once more.  “I can help at the rink.”

 

“Yuuri...he’s still out there.  If he learns you’re pregnant…” The coach let the idea die between them.  They both knew the possible reality, a custody battle, more press, all uglier than anything they had seen yet.  “I just think it will be safer if you are home.”

 

As Yuuri curled up on his bed facing the window and away from Celestino, the coach began making the arrangements, calling Phichit to pack Yuuri’s things and arrange to ship them home.  Yuuri contemplated his failure and his coach’s rejection. Celestino focused on the inconvenient truth that would rip a talented skater out of competition. He’s pregnant...and without a mate, he needed family support.  A safe place.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri stepped into his family’s home, greeted by a friendly and excited bark.  Going down to his knees, he hugged the small poodle wriggling in his arms as he fought against his tears.  His coach explained to Yuuri’s family that Yuuri’s going to take some time off. He left the rest of the explanation to Yuuri...when he was ready.  Not that Yuuri could hide it forever. But this was at least what Yuuri wanted.

 

As the coach prepared to leave, he knelt down beside Yuuri and reassured him, “I have no problem training you once you are cleared.  You can come back anytime after that. I’ll help you get back into competition.”

 

Yuuri stared between the dog’s ears not hearing.  The coach sighed and then left. Yuuri stood up and seeing his family, he dashed the tears that finally escaped with his fingers.  Angry, he ran up the stairs and hid into his room. A small scratch at the door induced Yuuri to open it, to let in the poodle. Holding him close, he murmured, “Vicchan, what am I going to do?”

 

* * *

  
  


Victor stared at the press release, he had read it four times but still couldn’t understand it.  Yuuri would be taking an indefinite break from competition while his health recovers and the family asks that he’s not disturbed.  He read the rumors. Vicious tongues lagging saying his alpha was putting a stop to the affair with Victor. Others saying he’s likely in heat or pregnant.  That last one gave Victor pause. If the alpha forced his mark, it could send Yuuri in heat. Pulling out his phone, he called Chris.

 

A sleepy answer reached back, “Do you know what time it is?”

 

“I’m sorry.  At least it’s after sex,” Victor offered.

 

Chris chuckled.  “Lawrie is visiting family before he can’t any longer.”

 

Victor stopped, the words falling into place... _ before he can’t any longer…   _ “What are you saying...are you...is he?”

 

Victor could hear the smile on his friend’s lips over the phone, “Yes, we just confirmed it this week.  He doesn’t want to travel too much...we lost the other one and the doctors are already talking bedrest.”

 

Elated, he wanted to let his friend talk about their potential family for hours.  But Victor had called with a purpose. “Chris, I read the press release. What...do you think about the rumors?”

 

Chris paused a moment before answering, “About Yuuri?”

 

“Yeah...I have a theory.  Have you heard of an alpha in rut using a forced bond to send an omega in heat?”

 

Chris sat up in bed, he had heard of it, but he didn’t know if it were true...and if it were what type of monster would do something like that?  “ _ Mon Dieu _ !  You don’t think…”

 

Victor went on, interrupting his friend, “It would explain a lot including why Yuuri spooked at the scent of that alpha going in rut.”

 

He could hear Chris breathing as he moved about in bed, waking himself up fully, “That’s unheard of!  If he’s caught, it’s a death sentence.”

 

Victor shuddered, the laws protecting omegas were clear, and strict.  “Well, if Yuuri knows who he is...without a mutual bond, he’d also be free to do it to others.”

 

Chris hummed, “That could explain why his coach is so protective.  I bet he has his other students under lock and key.”

 

“And Yuuri…”

 

“He’s home with family...so I’m thinking Japan?”

 

Victor nodded.  “That night...he was talking about his family owning a hot spring resort.  Where was that place?”

 

Chris paused, his voice deeper now, “Why...what are you thinking of doing?”

 

“I don’t know...the family asked to be left alone.  But…” Victor tried to sound nonchalant, failing miserably.

 

Chris huffed down the line, “You want to protect him.  I’ve never seen you like this. So protective over another.”

 

Victor stopped, thinking of his own actions.  Chris was right. He’d always tried to do the right thing, looking out for the younger skaters, trying to be a good role model for Yuri.  But something in Yuuri called to him, he needed to be with this man, to help him. “I don’t think I’ve ever been like this...I mean, I’m not an ass.  I’d step in if something was going wrong. But this...it’s different.”

 

“It’s almost as if...he’s your mate.”

 

Victor grimaced, “Except...he’s got someone else’s bond bite.”

 

“For now…”

 

As he disconnected the call, he thought about Yuuri and decided he needed to know more about the omega.  Pulling out his laptop, he began to scour the internet for any piece of information he could find on him.

 

* * *

  
  


In Hasetsu, the little omega curled up in his nest, his mother’s meal sitting to the side.  He tried to eat it, really he did. She was a marvelous cook, normally Yuuri had to be pulled away from her food, but now everything soured in his stomach.  He shivered, needing to be warm. Going to his suitcase, he dug through it and found something he never returned. Pulling out the hoodie, he brought it to his nose.  He could still smell the Victor’s scent on it. He pulled it over his head, taking the other articles of clothing he had borrowed from the other skater that night to seal them up in plastic, trapping that scent in them for as long as possible.

 

Climbing back into bed, he curled in a ball, welcoming his poodle into his nest.  Maybe...with his scent, he could rest peacefully. Like...that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> World notes:
> 
> In this AU, an omega has to reciprocate a bondbite in order for it to stick. Even then, bondbites can be rejected. There are injections that can speed up the process. Sometimes, however, an alpha can leave the bite open. This has to be reinforced periodically and are usually involved in polymating.
> 
> Forcing a bite on an omega is rape (obviously) and an alpha in rut can send an omega in heat through a bondbite. (I think I've addressed everything...if your questions will mess with the plot and I can't answer without giving it away, I won't...I don't like to give away the story.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri hides from the world as Victor continues to compete, deflecting the rumors as they continue to circle. Warning...read this with a box of tissues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A day early! Thank you, BluSkates, for editing this. If you're reading my other fics, Lost & Found is still delayed. So...and early Lies! But it's sad...

* * *

 

 

Yuuri sat in the kitchen while his mother cooked for the lunch crowd.  The family didn’t press him into service when they noticed how skittish he became at even a suggestion of interacting with the customers.

 

Hiroko settled the last plate on the platter, ready for Mari to take it off to the waiting table.  She turned to her son, sitting at the block table, and put a cup of miso in front of him.  “Are you going to hide here the entire nine months?”

 

Yuuri’s brown eyes shot up to hers.  He blinked in panic, and his breathing became erratic.  Hiroko, no stranger to her son’s anxiety released calming pheromones and came to his side of the table.  She was one of the few people who didn’t need to ask permission for a touch when he was like this.  Holding him, she waited for him to settle down before beginning again.

 

Yuuri’s mind raced.  He felt her pheromones wash over him, doing their job.   _ Of course she’d figure it out _ .  He couldn’t keep much down.  He shrugged and glanced towards the door.  “I don’t...know what to do.”

 

Hiroko’s voice was soft, “What about your degree?  Will they let you finish it from here?”

 

Yuuri chewed his lip.  He was close.  “Coach said he’d work it out for me.”

 

“I hear these things are going all online these days.  There was a time you’d pay good money and have an actual professor in front of you.”  She moved back to the chopping block, working quickly on the vegetables for the dinner soup.

 

Yuuri smiled at that.  “I do...in some classes.  Online classes were always easier...you know...because of my schedule.”

 

She smiled, “Well, I leave the business side of things to your father.  He has that fancy degree of his.”

 

Yuuri’s smile mirrored his mother’s at those words, the paper in prominent display in the lobby.  The Kyushu School of Business.  It just meant he took care of the books. And kept the equipment running.  And maintained the garden his mother insisted on growing.  His mother ran the restaurant, his sister, the onsen.  Yuuri had always helped out where needed between practice.  “Are you...upset with me?”

 

She gave him a fond smile, putting down her work and coming back to him.  “Now, why would you think that, my son?  I just worry about you.”  She cupped his face, capturing his eyes, just as deeply brown as hers, but with a spark of cinnamon, adding an extra something that always captivated people.  “You’ve never been one for being in the spotlight, not that that stopped you from pursuing your dreams.”

 

Yuuri shrugged, unready to accept his mother’s praise.  “I just...like to skate.”

 

She raised a knowing eyebrow and added, “And not, perhaps, a particular alpha?”

 

Yuuri blushed and turned away.  “It’s all a waste now.  He won’t want me...not after he figures it all out.”

 

She hummed moving back to her work, “People surprise us...he may surprise you.  Afterall, you did say that was one of the qualities you loved about him...his ability to surprise.”

 

Yuuri picked up the spoon, tasting the miso and enjoying the warmth that spread through his body.  He considered her words as he worked through the dish.  At least it was...less.  He could handle small amounts of food better.  Looking back up at his mother, he huffed.  “Mom...no, he’s not going to think twice about me.  I’m just...I need to go for a walk.”  Pushing the dish back, he stood up.

 

She smiled, happy with the seeds she’d sown for the afternoon.  “You should go by and see Yuuko.  It’s not good for you to stay inside.”

 

Yuuri leashed up Vicchan.  As he scratched his dog’s ears and the fur on his sides, he thought to himself, _ time with you...at least there is one good thing out of all of this. _  He’d seen evidence that the dog still slept in his room.  Sighing, he leaned his cheek against the poodle’s head.  “I’m sorry I was gone so long...I was afraid...I didn’t want to lose my dream.”

 

The poodle answered with a lick on his cheek and he found a smile, weak though it was.  Standing up, he studied his trainers and then shrugged.   _ Why not a light jog?  That should be fine.  _  The soup, albeit light, had given him a boost and it felt like the first thing he would keep down in days.  He stretched and warmed up, the loop of the leash on his wrist, Vicchan waiting patiently.   _ It’s like I never left. _

 

The jog was slow and steady, picking up as he found his stride.   _ Maybe it’s a mistake.  Maybe I’m not pregnant.  Just stressed and my body is going nuts because of that bondmark.  _  He turned his path alongside the beach and continued, catching the ocean breeze.  It was cold and his breathing felt it.  He ignored it, pushing down the rising feeling he felt in his chest.  _  If I’m not pregnant, it couldn’t be his. _  As he reached the end of the beachfront, his stomach turned and he lost what remained in his stomach.  He felt the tears, the shaking in his arms and legs.  _  I need it to be yours, Victor...and I don’t even...did we even sleep together? _  The poodle worriedly whined and licked his face.  He let the tears fall needing to get it out where no one would see him or hear him.  The noise was carried away on the brisk breeze.

 

Yuuri finally found his feet, fishing out a tissue, he cleaned himself up, popping in some gum.  He was a mess and he knew it.  Yuuko probably was busy anyway.  He turned and ran back home.  Vicchan followed him obediently.  Slipping back inside, he retreated upstairs, brushing his teeth and returning to his room.  Curled up in his nest, he stared listlessly across the room.

 

* * *

  
  


His days became exercises in solitude as much as his family tried to get him out.  He worked through the last of his courses, submitting most assignments ahead of time.  He knew he could do better work but he couldn’t keep his head clear. Besides, the school was jumping through hoops to make sure he graduated fearing the bad press if he came out and openly spoke about what happened to him.  It was a formality at this point. It wasn’t like he could walk across the stage. The school didn’t want him there.

 

In fact, no one wanted to claim him.  He only brought shame.  First through his skating and the miserable defeats, he suffered after working so hard, and wasting everyone’s time.  Then...this. He couldn’t even describe...this. This...had a name...but he couldn’t even say it in his thoughts. And although he’d never sought an alpha’s regard before, in his heart, he knew no alpha would want him now.  And there was only one alpha that he’d hoped would regard him... _ well that was gone now. _

 

He hugged his tummy.  “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself in for, kid.  I’m a fuck up.  But it looks like we’re stuck with one another.”

 

His mother tried to get him to go to the doctor.  Yuuri pushed it aside.  “What’s the point?  So they can tell me what I already know?”

 

His mother put her hands on her hips, sulking was allowed, but not at the risk of the child.  “They can help you take better care of yourself.”

 

Yuuri just shrugged, saying once more, “What’s the point…”  If something happened to him, perhaps the kid would have a chance.

 

Mari tried to get him to go out, asking for his help on errands.  But Yuuri was an expert at disappearing and as soon as her back was turned, he’d skirt away.  

 

Toshiya  _ could  _ get him into the garden.  They’d plant and the old man would talk about what his mother had planned for the next season.  Yuuri would listen, quiet, following the gentle directions.  It was mundane work but it didn’t involve other people.  And his father respected his need to  _ not  _ talk.  He always waited with Yuuri and let him some come around in his own time.

 

Minako tried to drag him to the studio.  “I’ve got the spring recital to prepare for.”  All she managed was a request to come if he needed a late night spotter.  She thinned her lips.  She could see him retreating further and further away but she agreed, to maintain her foothold.

 

Yuuri did dance in the studio late at night when the rest of Hasetsu had gone to sleep...and he found his key to the rink, so he’d sneak inside leaving figures carved in the ice in his wake.  And he’d cry in his solitude.  Yuuri never knew if he needed a spotter and for the most part left Minako alone. But sometimes, he just needed someone to be there, someone who would watch and not demand he talk.  He needed his silence.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri shifted in the darkness, hiding from the world, from the light.  The tray beside his bed was barely touched.  He knew he’d lost weight.  Anxiety was strange like that.  Sometimes he couldn’t eat enough.  Others, he couldn’t handle anything.

 

He’d watched the European Championships and could see Victor smile at the crowd but...it seemed to have lost some of its warmth.  The press was on him as soon as he left the ice, not letting him enjoy the win, demanding to know about him...and Yuuri.  As Yuuri watched that, tears bit at his lashes. There is no him and Yuuri. Just Victor.  Just...Yuuri.  He slipped out of the house and turned as he heard a bark.  “No, no! You need to stay here, Vicchan!”

 

With a whine, the poodle sat and looked up at his owner.  Yuuri sighed, reaching for the leash hanging nearby.  “This time.”  They started out with a run.  Yuuri’s anxiety forced him to move.  The nausea was finally abating.  He could run without throwing up at least.  He marked out a path, five kilometers.  He’d end up at Ice Castle warmed up and ready to skate.

 

He found his feet on the ice.  Sneaking out to Ice Castle in the dead of night was better than dealing with Takeshi’s disapproving stares.  Yuuko was more understanding, she would cluck at her husband and tell Yuuri to nevermind him, he was just as bad when she was pregnant and she kept to the ice up until her seventh month.  He should wake Minako, bring her here to watch over him, but then again, he doesn’t want the company.  Not tonight.  He didn’t even notice what he’d pulled on until he removed his coat.  Victor’s hoodie.

 

_ This is my fault...my presence dimmed his smile.  If they would just drop me and let him focus on skating he would be fine. _  He laced his skates with sharp movements.  Once satisfied, he removed the guards and stepped out on the ice.

 

_ I wish...I could remember making love.  To know...that this baby could be yours. _  He didn’t pay attention to the movements he made until he was halfway through them.   _ Stammi Vicino _ seemed...bittersweet at this point.  Poignant.

 

_ I’m sorry _ .  He renewed his efforts on his program throwing himself into it and when he finished, he only paused a moment before skating it again and again starting each program with those words.  _  I’m sorry _ .

 

* * *

  
  


There seemed to be a moratorium on figure skating at the onsen.  Watch parties, a thing of the past.  As the Four Continents Competition passed them by, Yuuri withdrew further, his voice rarely heard as he made himself invisible.

 

His mother watched him, worry etched into her eyes.  And then...he was gone.  No longer coming down.  At least, not when anyone could see him.  His movements were heard at night.  The door opening and shutting as he left the onsen.  Toshiya held onto Hiroko.  Mari followed him from a distance, knowing his path, keeping an eye on him to keep him safe.  Not that anything ever happened in Hasetsu.  But...he was her little brother.

 

And Yuuko came into the rink after dropping the girls off at school to find evidence of Yuuri’s presence.  He still hadn’t talked about it.  She still didn’t know the details.  Just...Yuuri was pregnant and an alpha had given him a bond bite without his consent.  She’d read the rumors and tried to shield them from her daughters but they were sharp and precocious...and worried about their uncle Yuuri. 

 

“Mama, do you think Victor’s really the father?”

 

“Mama, who hurt uncle Yuuri?”

 

“It wasn’t Victor, was it?  Victor wouldn’t hurt Yuuri, would he?”

 

And she didn’t have any answers.  Her best friend was hurting, her family worried, and she had nothing to offer.  So, they did the next best thing.  She and Takeshi took turns slipping into the rink in the early hours of the morning and keep watch over him calling Mari when he left.

 

Everyone was exhausted in their worry.

 

Yuuri...continued to grow quieter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor’s side of the next few months. We start...at the European Championship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I told a few of you that I thought I'd give you another chapter this week. Here it is! Enjoy!

* * *

 

 

Victor sighed as another reporter asked him about his relationship with Yuuri.  He didn’t know what to say. There was no relationship with Yuuri. Yuuri hadn’t reached out to him...and Victor was too afraid to push in uninvited.  So...he did what Yuuri did. “I’m afraid that’s a private matter and we choose not to discuss it.”  _ With each other, either _ .  He took a deep breath and forced another smile as he went through all of the other questions.  For once, he welcomed questions about his retirement. “I have no current plans to leave the ice,” he replied.  And finally, he was free. Chris joined him and could see the look on his face.

 

The Swiss man slung an arm around his friend.  “How about joining me for a stiff drink?”

 

Victor huffed, half irritated, “Isn’t that what got me in this mess?”

 

Chris rolled his eyes and pointed out, “No. I think that was your big heart and you’re inability to listen to your best friend’s advice.”

 

They walked down the hallway, a few skaters still milling around with their coaches.  Victor leaned in to Chris, “I haven’t heard...anything.”

 

Chris noticed the change of tone and made sure to lead him away from sharp ears.  “Well, how about we go get coffee instead...and talk about my Lawrie’s baby bump.”

 

Victor finally smiled.  Genuine. His friend could still see the hint of sadness but he knew the subject was safe.  “I’d love to hear. When do you plan to announce it?”

 

Chris hummed, rolling the idea around in his head, “Probably not until after the fourth month.  So...around Worlds.”

 

“I’m happy for you, Chris.  Really.” His smile faltered for a moment, “I’m sorry that...this...is crowding into it.”

 

Chris sighed, leading his friend to a car and giving directions to the driver.  Turning back to Victor, he chose his words carefully. “This...is not crowding into it, Vitya.  You have a life and no matter what...life goes on.”

 

“It does...I just...I’m worried about him...and I feel so...helpless.”

 

Chris studied his countenance before adding, “Admit it...you’re also tired.”

 

Victor hesitated at first.  It wasn’t in his nature to admit weakness.  So much at once. But this was Chris. Meeting those hazel eyes, he nodded.  “Very.”

 

They got out at the coffee shop and Chris and Victor took their seats in a corner booth.  After giving out their orders, Chris continued, “I’m worried about you. Lawrie is as well.”

 

Victor shrugged and flashed his camera ready smile, which was quickly becoming more artificial by the day.  “Oh, I’m fine. I just have to deal with the fallout. Compared to what he’s dealing with, it’s nothing.”

 

Chris looked at his hands, “So you think...your theory is right?”

 

He nodded.  “I have been researching everything about Yuuri...and that led me to Detroit.  There is an anonymous report of a rape of an omega just in between NHK and Finals.  It fits the timeline. It’s been kept hushed. Campus influences not wanting it to show up that it’s unsafe at his college.  I suspect he was talked into not pressing charges and got shuffled through a medical evaluation a little too quickly. No real details.  And in my bones, I know it was him.”

 

“You could be jumping to conclusions,” Chris suggested.

 

Victor leveled a star at him.  “Do you really believe that?”

 

Chris reluctantly shook his head.  “What else did you learn?”

 

Chris watched Victor’s authentic smile return to his lips, lighting up his entire face as he talked.  “H-he’s beautiful. Why haven’t I seen him skate before?”

 

“Did you calculate the points?” Chris smirked, he was a beneficiary of the revamped system that rewarded falling on fully rotated jumps over flawless footwork.  “On the old scoring system, he’d be number one...with the new system, he struggles getting up there. Not when a certain alpha can throw in four quads.”

 

“But he can...I’ve seen video from the rink.  Practice video, a friend of his uploaded footage of Yuuri almost daily for weeks.”  Victor chuckled at the friend’s youtube channel which was largely hamsters and Yuuri.  “He’s got the quads.”

 

Chris sighed, “But they are inconsistent.  Celestino wouldn’t encourage him to put them in unless he passed the halfway mark on consistency.”

 

“So...he plays it safe.”  Victor huffs. “You don’t win without risk.”

 

Chris chuckled.  “Without risk and hard work.  Yuuri’s got the second half in spades.”  He smiled at the waitress and thanked her for their coffee then made a face at Victor’s.  “So bitter. I can’t believe you went with a French roast in black.”

 

“You know I love my  [ French press ](https://www.amazon.com/Filtration-Borosilicate-Cafe-Du-Chateau/dp/B01J4O0T4E?SubscriptionId=AKIAIHGJJO7XIIP36QFA&tag=kmdcs-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=B01J4O0T4E&keywords=french%20press) !” Victor defended and Chris was relieved to see some mirth reach his eyes.

 

“I know!  You brought it when you came to visit us last summer.”  He watched Victor take a sip, his face stretching in reaction to the bitters of his drink.

 

“Good coffee is an art.  I’m not going to pollute it with all of those sweeteners.”

 

Chris chuckled taking a sip of his sweet concoction, savoring it as Victor watched.  “Sometimes it’s good to let a little sweetness into your life.”

 

Victor considered those words for a moment before responding.  “I know...but sometimes the bitter makes you appreciate the sweet all the more.”  He leveled his gaze on Chris and asked, “What would you do?”

 

“What wouldn’t I do for  _ l’amour _ ?” Chris murmured, his warmth matching the coffee in his hand.

 

“Is that what this is?”  Victor studied his cup thoughtfully.  “I’ve...never been here before. I just...want to be his safe place.”

 

“I know,” Chris responded.  “But someone has to reach out.”

 

“He’s been hurt so much...what if I just add to the pain?”

 

Chris saw his friend wavering, it was plain to him, if invisible to both Victor and Yuuri that they needed one another.  “I’ve never seen you hurt anyone...beyond an overreaching reporter or two.”

 

Victor smiled remembering the time he punched a reporter for getting too close to Mila, not that he had to, that girl was related to an entire hockey team.  “His social media has gone dead...not that there was much before. He’s retreated from the world.”

 

“I can’t blame him.”

 

Victor’s blue eyes searched Chris’ face, “Do you think the rumors are true?  That he’s pregnant?”

 

“I don’t think there are any basis to those rumors...but that doesn’t mean he’s not.”

 

He groaned in frustration.  “I have so many contracts tying me down right now when really...I just want to hop a plane to Japan.”

 

Chris thought of his own schedule, which would mirror Victor’s, “It’s not long until Worlds.  Then you’ll be free. Maybe you can try to reach out to him?”

 

“He’s closed all avenues.  His twitter is down. His Instagram.  His Facebook hasn’t been updated in three years.”

 

“Try someone close to him,” Chris suggested as he finished off his coffee.  “Do you want a ride back to the hotel?”

 

Victor considered it then shook his head.  “I need to walk.”

 

Chris chuckled.  “Don’t spend too much.  You might be packing up soon and moving.”

 

Victor stilled at that and met his friend’s eyes.  He wasn’t wrong...and Chris knew him better than anyone else.

 

* * *

  
  


Victor followed Phichit’s Instagram and his Twitter.  Anyone in the skating world did...he was a fount of information.  However, he also knew to keep his mouth shut when things were unconfirmed.  Victor respected that about the Thai skater. He tried sending messages, dm’ing him in twitter.

 

**victor_n:// Is Yuuri okay?**

 

**phichit_official:// who is this?**

 

**victor_n:// Victor Nikiforov**

 

**phichit_official:// Sure you are**

 

**victor_n:// I just want to check on him**

 

**phichit_official:// Even if I thought you were him, I’d tell you nothing.**

 

Victor sighed not knowing what else to do.  He went to the rink, practiced, worked on new programs, and it was clear that his focus wasn’t there.

 

Yakov told him to get his head out of his ass and onto his programs.

 

Yuri took a more pointed approach.  “I told you to leave that pig alone.  He’s a loser!”

 

Mila, she skated to his side and gave him a pouty frown with eyes full of worry.  “It’ll be okay.”

 

Georgi offered to commiserate over broken hearts.

 

Victor...wanted to escape.  All of them. He knew they were all well meaning but he couldn’t open up.  Not about his suspicions. Not about his worry. And certainly not about this feeling that had taken root in his chest.  _  What wouldn’t I do for l’amour? _

 

* * *

  
  


Time is funny, it crawls by and then suddenly it flies by.  It was time for Worlds. Victor packed up and with the biggest competition of his season ahead of him, his thoughts were on only one thing.   _ What’s going on with Yuuri? _  Maybe if he could get face to face with Phichit, he could find out.

 

Everything was routine.  He checked in, confirmed his schedule with Yakov, and he hid in his room, resting until practice and again until his short program.  It was there that he spotted the Thai skater. They weren’t in the same warm up group, ISU keeping its favorites for the last groups of the night.  Victor knew he would have to see him in passing, but every time he tried to get close to him, Celestino was between them.

 

That night, Chris was in his room as they ordered room service and Victor groaned out in frustration.  “What does he think I’m going to do?”

 

“Well, you have to admit that Celestino did find you in a compromising position with his other student...a student that you now suspect had been violated recently.”

 

Victor spat out, “I’m not a bad alpha...my reputation…”

 

Chris settled next to him, holding up his hands to calm his friend, “Is in question at the moment.  No one knows what did or did not happen with you and Yuuri. And neither of you are talking.”

 

Victor slid his hand through his hair in frustration.  Then he narrowed his eyes on Chris. “You should run interference.  Just so I can talk to him.”

 

Chris’ normally sultry smile dropped off his face completely.  There were few things that gave the Swiss man pause, and that Italian coach was on the top of the list.  “This could go bad,” Chris states warningly.

 

“I need to do this!”  Blue eyes, large and watery implored out to him.

 

Chris sighed in resignation.  “You never listen to your best friend.”

 

“Does that mean you will help me out?”

 

Chris nodded giving into Victor.  What could he do? He sighed, “For now.”

 

* * *

  
  


Unfortunately, Victor didn’t get another chance until the banquet.  Celestino left Phichit’s side for a moment and Chris moved in to distract the coach talking to him about his news.  “I’m just so excited...I’m telling everyone now that my Lawrie has given the okay…” Chris even pulled out his phone to show the coach ultrasound pictures.  “If my little skater is an omega…”

 

“Are you asking me to coach your child before they are even born?” Celestino asked, his voice more than a little amused.  He didn’t even notice that Victor caught Phichit off to the side.

 

“Phichit, will you talk to me?”

 

The Thai skater planted on a polite smile.  Victor knew that smile. He perfected that smile.  His heart dropped at that smile. Phichit had his war paint on.  “What can I do for you, Victor?”

 

He lowered his voice and went full force, “I need to ask about Yuuri.”

 

With a pained sigh, the younger skater deflected.  “Why should I tell you anything about Yuuri?”

 

Victor sat down in the chair next to him, “Because...I’m worried about him and have been since Sochi.  I can’t explain it. I just know something is wrong.”

 

“Feeling guilty,” Phichit surmised.  “You took advantage of Yuuri while he was drunk and now you feel guilty.”

 

Victor winced at the anger, at the accusation being voiced aloud.  Taking a deep breath, he stated carefully, “Yuuri and I didn’t have sex...he couldn’t consent.  However, he was in an unsafe state and scared. I took him back to my room because I knew there was an alpha going in rut on the prowl.  I know Yuuri doesn’t remember that night. I was about to explain it to him when we were interrupted.”

 

Phichit paused for a moment, Victor could see that his sincerity was being sized up.  The Thai man was giving him a chance, “You...didn’t sleep with him.”

 

Victor shook his head, leaving his expression unguarded.  

 

Phichit studied him for the longest time and then he started to shake as it sank in fully.  “That means...that means...oh, god! Oh, no, Yuuri...oh, my god.”

 

Victor knew he had to get Phichit further out of the room and guided him into the hall and down to an unoccupied room.  “What’s going on with Yuuri?”

 

Phichit was fighting sobs by the time they were free of people, waving at his face, hiccuping.  Finally, he found his words, “Th-that means...Yuuri’s baby belongs to  _ him _ ...the one that put that bond bite on him.”

 

“Yuuri is pregnant,” Victor stated as if he needed to say the words for them to sink in.

 

Phichit nodded, clearly upset about something more.  “That’s not the worst of it. Yuuri’s in a bad state.  The only thing that’s been keeping him out of drop is the hope...that this baby is yours and not  _ his _ .”

 

Victor took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “The other one? The one that gave Yuuri that bite?”

 

Phichit hugged himself.  “We...we don’t know who it is.  The college was so quick to hush it all up they didn’t even call the police, just campus security.  Ciao Ciao’s horrified, and makes sure we are locked down and won’t let us go without an escort now. When my parents found out they called me back to Thailand and Ciao Ciao is sending an assistant with me so he can coach me long distance.  It’s all a mess...but...Yuuri…”

 

Victor thinned his lips, pulling the young man in for a hug, holding him until he felt the boy settle against his chest.  “Thanks for telling me, Phichit. I want you to know...I’d never hurt Yuuri.”

 

Phichit hugged himself and looked up when his coach came around the corner.  “Ciao Ciao!”

 

“What are you doing with my skater?” The Italian coach had a reputation for being larger than life, at that moment Victor wished Yakov were around.  Ciao Ciao practically charged him.

 

Victor took a long-suffering breath, holding out his hand to block the force of nature coming his way.  “We were just talking.” Turning back to Phichit, he added, “Take care of yourself, Phichit.”

 

Big dark eyes looked up at him.  “What are you going to do?”

 

Victor shrugged.  “I don’t know...but I’ll do my best not to hurt him.”  He caught Celestino’s glare before walking away.

 

Back in at the banquet, Chris caught him and asked, “Did you get what you needed?”

 

Victor nodded.  Meeting Chris’s eyes, he whispered, “He’s pregnant.”

 

“ _ Mon Dieu _ !” the Swiss man hissed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor now knows...it’s time to decide what to do with the information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much is happening in this chapter. Have fun!

* * *

 

 

Yuuri could feel his body changing even if a part of him continued to deny it.  _  My baby...not my baby...not pregnant...if I don’t acknowledge it, it will go away.  _  Intermingled in his denial were moments of clarity.  Often occurring after a dizzy spell or he had wretched up his meal.  Yuuri could feel he was beginning to detach from reality, somewhere deep in his mind he could hear a voice talking sense.  But his panic, his anxiety drowned it out. He’d draw his knees to his chest and rock back and forth.  _ Let it be his.  At least if it’s his, I won’t worry about whether or not I can love it. _

 

Worlds had passed, Victor had won, which was all Yuuri could bring himself to care about.  Having watched it on a tiny screen in his room, refusing to even move from the bed. Yuuri had spent weeks on social media blackout, even ignoring the ping of texts on his phone.  However, the persistent chime of Phichit pulled him to his phone. Afterwards he tried to process the information Phichit shared with him. He pulled out his phone and looked over the conversation once more.

 

**Phichit/ Victor demanded to know how you were doing.**

 

**Yuuri/ What did you tell him?**

 

**Phichit/ Nothing.**

 

**Phichit/ At first.**

 

**Phichit/ I wasn’t going to let the one that took advantage of my best friend just get away with it.**

 

**Yuuri/ What he did was nothing...at least I felt safe for that night.**

 

**Phichit/ If that’s what you call it...I call drunken consent no consent.**

 

**Yuuri/ I’m sure he was drinking as well.  It was just one of those stupid things.**

 

**Phichit/ It’s just...what if it’s not his?**

 

**Yuuri/ I need to believe that it is, Phichit.**

 

**Phichit/ I know.  I sort of...told him.**

 

**Yuuri/  Phichit!  What did you tell him?!!!**

 

**Phichit/ That...you were pregnant.**

 

**Phichit/ He promised not to hurt you.**

 

**Yuuri/ Oh, Phichit…**

 

**Phichit/ I know...I didn’t know what to do.  I love you and hate to see you like this.**

 

**Yuuri/ I know Phichit.  I love you, too.**

 

He pushed off on the ice, another series of nightmares driving him from his bed.  _  I need you to be the father. _   It was early in the morning.  Before Takeshi...or is it Yuuko this time...came to check on him.  Yuuri smiled bitterly, his friends believed they were all sneaky, like he didn’t know they were watching him.

 

He moved into the familiar opening position of  _ Stammi Vicino _ .  Pouring his heart into the skate, his heart crying out to Victor.   _ Will you...can you even consider staying close to me?  Is it too much to hope for _ ?  He finished with his heart on display.  Sighing, Yuuri realized he was done, approaching the rail only to catch Yuuko standing there, her hands clasped together.

 

“It’s so beautiful, Yuuri,” she squealed.

 

He shrugged.  “I needed something to hold on to.  His programs...his skating...they always gave me something to cling to.”  Taking the water bottle she offered, he drank it down before focusing on unlacing his boots.

 

Yuuko leaned against the barrier, watching her friend struggle with his laces, “Takeshi would freak if he saw you doing triples at this point.”

 

Yuuri shrugged, pulling his foot free.  “I did sneak in a quad. Did you catch it?”

 

She nodded with a grin.  “Oh, I caught it.”

 

“I won’t be able to do that much longer.  Dancing is helping. I can find my center of gravity...but it shifts on me.  Not as bad as puberty but I know that’s a matter of time.” He pulled on his trainers and started packing the skates in his bag.

 

She eyed him, pulling at his sleeve, the designer label not escaping her eye, “That sweatshirt...it’s not your normal brand.”

 

He looked down.  He’d grabbed it without thinking.  “It’s...Victor’s,” Yuuri murmured, pink touching his cheeks.

 

She pursed her lips and nodded slowly, understanding.  “You wear it a lot...has he...did he ever reach out?”

 

Yuuri shifted from one foot to the other, “Not directly...not that I make it easy.”

 

Yuuko took a beat, then realized, her eyes wide, “He doesn’t have your number?”

 

Yuuri shook his head.  “We didn’t get a chance.  Coach was there and then it all sort of came apart.”  He stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. “It felt like getting caught by my parents...or his.”

 

“I know that feeling,” Yuuko giggled.

 

“Well, this didn’t have a happy ending like yours,” Yuuri sighed.

 

She shrugged.  “You never know...your story isn’t over yet.”

 

Yuuri gave her a small smile before waving his goodbye.

 

* * *

  
  


Victor retreated to his apartment after Worlds.  Chris was right. He was tired. Tired of the rumors and not sure what to do about the information he gained from Phichit.  The standard poodle stretched across his lap and Victor absently petted him, tangling his fingers into the curls. “I don’t know what to do...I don’t want to hurt him.  He’s already been through so much, Makka.”

 

His world existed between the rink and his apartment these days.  He took Makkachin on long walks as his mind worked through the problem of Yuuri.  His skating, the new programs he put together, more as a distraction and an expression of his pain, they were starting to look tormented and Yakov’s grunts of disapproval told him they couldn’t stand in the current condition.  He worked in the quiet of the morning before the other skaters arrived. He left before them, avoiding the buzz of rumors. He knew what they all thought about him. The press was a daily reminder. His social media feeds continued to pound their suspicions.

 

* * *

  
  


Yakov watched Victor faltering, knowing it was under the weight of what he had on his mind.  As he prepared to watch over the skater, his mate rolled over in protest. “So early.”

 

He huffed as her bird thin, yet heavy arm fell over him, locking him into bed.  “Lilia, I’m worried. I’ve never seen Vitya fail like this.”

 

She rose up on her elbow, giving him the knowing look he had come to love and hate over their years together.  “Vitya is the type to have to sort it out on his own. He wouldn’t want you to intervene.”

 

He looked at the ceiling, “He’s going to throw this season if he’s not careful.”

 

She put a finger on his cheek, turning his eyes to hers, “Or he can take his pain and make something beautiful out of it.”

 

* * *

  
  


At the rink, Victor skated his interpretation of unconditional love; it was heartbreaking.  Yakov told him to take a few days off to sort out his thoughts. To grieve, if need be.

 

Back at his apartment, Victor didn’t know what to do with himself.  He napped, but his dreams tormented him with thoughts of dancing with his omega.  Then he’d wake up guilty.  _ Yuuri’s not my omega _ , he’d remind himself.

 

Victor forced himself out of bed, rummaging through his cabinets until that action become frustrated cleaning.  He was angry. With himself. With Yuuri. With the one that hurt Yuuri. He was frustrated that he couldn’t fix this.  That he couldn’t just claim his omega and move forward. He then stilled.  _ Would Yuuri even want that? _

 

Dropping to his couch, Makkachin was soon half in his lap.  He picked up his phone and frowned. There were a number of notifications, most of which he ignored, focusing on the one from Chris.

 

**Chris/ Yuuri just skated Stammi.  And it’s gone viral.**

 

**Chris/** [ **https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6-eKBEHg1U** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6-eKBEHg1U)

 

Victor clicked on the link not sure what to expect.  The heartfelt plea of Yuuri’s movements forced Victor to play it again.  A myriad of emotions crossed through Victor’s thoughts...anger that Yuuri would risk those jumps while pregnant...relief to see him still skating...and elation that Yuuri seemed to be calling to him.

 

**Victor/ Do you think...the comments suggest he’s calling to me**

 

**Chris/ I think you won’t know unless you go.**

 

**Victor/ I don’t want to hurt him.  I promised Phichit I wouldn’t hurt him.**

 

**Chris/ How can you hurt him?  You love him, don’t you?**

 

Victor stared at those words, closing his eyes to let them sink in deeper.

 

**Victor/ Yes**

 

**Chris/ Then go.  You may have to work for it...but go.**

 

He picked up his phone and called Yakov.  “Yakov...you won’t believe it! Yuuri was skating.”

 

“What are you talking about?” the coach asked in confusion.

 

“He skated.   _ Stammi Vicino _ .  I have to go to him!  I have to answer my omega.  He’s pregnant, Yakov.”

 

In the middle of the rink, Yakov narrowed his eyes and frowned.  Georgi, who had been standing nearby saw the darkness creep over the coaches face, and he skated quietly away, pulling the notice of others to back away.  Yakov’s grip on the phone tightened to the point where the groan of plastic echoed in the rink.  _ He must have lied about sleeping with Yuuri that night _ .  Sighing, he grunts, “ _ Da _ , you have to go see your omega and child.”

 

Victor didn’t correct the miscommunication.  Disconnecting the call, he began packing. Everything he could think of.  This may be a mistake but Victor never did anything halfway.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri was taking a nap when he received the first notifications.  Opening his eyes, he pulled the phone over begrudgingly. He then spotted the video and managed to piece it all together.  Soon his phone was ringing with Yuuko’s number. “I’m sorry, Yuuri! I didn’t know the girls followed me in. I stopped in as I was taking them to school, they must have recorded and posted it.  We took it down but it was shared over tons of platforms… I’m so sorry.”

 

The video showed Yuuri skating that morning, his heart on display.  There were already comments about Yuuri calling out for his mate and others saying the omega was challenging Victor for abandoning him.  This wasn’t what he wanted. Nothing like what he wanted.

 

He retreated deeper into his nest.

 

A knock on the door and his mother came into the room.  “You didn’t come down today,” she fussed. Yuuri glanced at the clock.  It was after three. Yuuri didn’t answer.

 

Mari came in and told him to come down for dinner.  Yuuri threw himself over and covered himself up.

 

By the third day, the family realized they couldn’t pry him out of his room, nor his nest.  Hiroko called in the doctor.

 

“My son.  He’s a pregnant omega...and we can’t get him out of his nest.”  Her voice was strained over the phone, hoping she could convince the doctor to come to them immediately.

 

The doctor asked, “Have we seen him here?”

 

“Not since he was a teenager.  He had moved to America years ago, but he lives here now,” she pressed.  “I’m worried.”

 

“A nestbound omega, especially a pregnant omega, could be heading for drop.  You should definitely watch for drop.”

 

_ Well, that was useless. _  “Yes, I know.  That’s why I’m calling you.  What do I do?”

 

The doctor spoke as if he were reading from a list of  _ what to say to worried mothers _ .  “If he drops, call emergency services.”

 

In frustration she hung up the phone and scowled.  “It’s not as satisfying as old phones.”

 

Toshiya came up behind her, hugging her from behind.  “Keep taking him food and encouraging him to eat. You know our Yuuri.  He comes around in his own time.”

 

Hiroko broke, turning to bury herself in his arms.  Mari, watching the scene unfold, grabbed her cigarettes and left the house taking an angry walk.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you ask...yes, Phichit knows...but he also knows Yuuri needs to cling to that belief. So he held onto his attitudes from before.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor arrives in Hasetsu. How will he be received? TW: Yuuri will talk about rape and kidnapping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...it's a little triggery at the end. Yuuri talks about his rape and kidnapping in general terms.

* * *

 

 

  
  


Victor stood before the onsen, his luggage piled around his feet, feeling every tingle of his nerves like it was electricity coursing through his body.  At least Makkachin seemed at ease. The large standard poodle found a playmate in a smaller toy poodle and the two were happily barking and frolicking together, becoming the best of friends.   _ Maybe that’s a good sign _ , Victor tried to convince himself.

 

Inside, Minako looked out the window and asked, “Is he just going to stand there or come inside?”

 

“It’s some nerve to come here after all this time,” Mari grumbled.

 

Behind the two women, glaring out the window at the silver haired man, Hiroko hushed them.  “It sometimes takes time to find courage. Maybe...this is a good thing.” She sent worried eyes up the stairs.

 

“Do you really think that?” Mari argued, but she knew what her mother hoped in this unexpected arrival.

 

Minako, still holding her position at the window, waved at them.  “Hush! He’s coming to the door.”

 

The three women all stilled at the sound of a knock.  The room swam in silence as three sets of dark brown eyes met in the question of what to do next.  Fortunately, Toshiya came into the room and looked from one to the other. “Did I not hear a knock?”

 

“It’s him,” Hiroko hissed.

 

Toshiya smiled at his wife, the first silly behavior he’d ever seen her display.  He wasn’t entire certain he didn’t like it. “Who, my love?”

 

“Victor Nikiforov,” Minako filled in, her voice ringing loud in the empty room, causing the other two women to jump a little.

 

Toshiya’s face warmed up.  “Ah, Yuuri’s great love. I told you if we waited long enough…”

 

Hiroko smirked at him, hands going to her round hips, “You were talking about Yuuri,” she argued.

 

He smiled benignly.  “So I am.” The knock sounded again.  Looking to the three women in the room, he laughed.  “We can’t just stand here.” He approached the door and opened it, greeting the foreign young man on his doorstep.  “Welcome.”

 

Victor shifted uncomfortably, his hands tugging on the edge of his jacket not sure what to do, what to say.  “I’m...here to see Yuuri?” He could see a smiling man at the door, and three woman reminding him of ravens standing behind the man.

 

“Well, come in,” Toshiya invited.  Looking past the silver hair, he added, “It looks like you plan to stay a while.  Let me see if I can find a place for you. I’m Toshiya, by the way. Yuuri’s papa.”

 

“It’s nice to meet you, sir,” he answered, imitating the bow in return then holding out his hand awkwardly.  Toshiya looked at it for a moment then took it, shaking it as he pulled Victor inside.

 

“Yuuri’s so quiet, he doesn’t receive a lot of visitors.  Let me introduce the ladies.” Turning to the others, he first waved at the one that Victor saw watching him through the window.  “This is Minako. She’s a friend of the family and has been Yuuri’s ballet teacher for years.”

 

Victor bowed once more, still awkward with the foreign movement.  “Hello. I can tell he’s grown up in lessons. He dances beautifully.”

 

She frowned, her eyes regarding him harshly.  A critical eyebrow raised, “Oh, I’m sure he does.”

 

Toshiya laughed, but Victor caught the admonishing stare he gave her.  “Minako is almost family and as you can tell, we’re very protective over our Yuuri.”  Turning to his daughter, he introduced her. “Mari is Yuuri’s older sister.”

 

Victor gulped audibly taking in Yuuri’s sister.  She had her hair bound in a scarf, a home perm leaving the ends frizzy and fried, she looked tired but fierce.  “He’s been through enough,” she stated protectively.

 

_ At least she’s direct.   _ Victor thinned his lips suspecting they only knew half the story.  “I know...I’m not here to hurt him.”

 

Toshiya listening to the exchange, grew serious.  “Just what is your intention with our son?” The man’s voice was just as warm as when he started, but a tired tone grew into it.

 

He looked from the man to the group of woman and decided it was best he laid it out.  “I...just want to help.”

 

Mari huffed.  “Haven’t you done enough?”

 

Victor settled his eyes on her and shook his head.  “No, I haven’t...and for that, I’m sorry. I just hope...I’m not too late.”

 

Hiroko, who had been watching Victor struggle against their attacks while still maintaining a gracious attitude stepped forward, holding out her hand.  “I’m Hiroko, Yuuri’s mother.  As you can tell, it’s been a hard few months.  What do you know of my son?”

 

“I know...just about everything.”

 

“You know of the baby?”  She watched Victor’s expression as he nodded before continuing.  “Then I should tell you...he’s nestbound.  We’ve been trying to pry him out for over a week now.”

 

“Closer to two,” Minako murmured.  She held that edge in her voice, but Victor could hear her concern as well.

 

Hiroko closed her eyes and Victor could see the weariness of a worried mother she had been hiding in her demeanor.  “He hasn’t been out except for the bathroom.  We are very worried.  If something doesn’t change, he could go in drop.”  Stepping forward, she took both of his hands in hers.  He was surprised by their warmth and felt a moment of calm, the first since he had arrived in Hasetsu.  “I don’t know what your part is in this story.  Yuuri hasn’t told us much...but...if you could try…”

 

Victor nodded.  He followed her upstairs feeling the eyes of the entire group on his back as he left the room.  Along the corridor and ascending the stairs he noticed the scent blockers in every plug.  As he reached the landing, he understood why.  The stench of a neglected and distressed omega was so powerful it stung his nose.  He turned and met Hiroko’s worried eyes.  “I come up and do my best to clean up here but there is only so much that I can do.”  As they stopped halfway down the hall, she added, “He barely eats.  I’m worried about him and the baby.”

 

“I’ll do my best,” he assured her although, at this point, he didn’t know what he could possibly offer that Yuuri’s family hadn’t already tried.

 

She motioned to the door at the end of the hall, the only door that seemed to be omega safe.  Moving past paper walls, he reached the door and knocked.  He heard nothing in response.

 

Victor took a deep breath and let it out, regretting the choice but also needing to see Yuuri at that moment.  He knocked once more and called back, “Yuuri, can I come in?”

 

He heard a muffled screech and then a hesitant “yes” came back through the door.  Cautiously, he opened it.

 

The smell in the hall was nothing compared to that filling the room.  It hit him full force giving the alpha pause at the door.  He took that opportunity to get his bearings, to let his eyes adjust.  While it was the middle of the day, the room was practically dark as Yuuri had blocked his windows, shutting out all of the light.  Victor saw the motion in the room and spotted the omega  buried at the back of the nest.  He was crouching, his knees drawn to his chest, two large brown eyes watching him from behind glasses which reflected back the light from the hallway.

 

Victor entered the room and looked for a place to sit, spotting a chair next to the desk holding Yuuri’s laptop.  He turned the chair to face Yuuri and took a seat.  “Will you talk to me, Yuuri?”

 

Yuuri drew his shoulders in and Victor could see the thinness of his body.  He worried.  _  I should have come sooner. _  However there had been delays in paperwork, and then arranging for things to be shipped, buying plane tickets...  But finally he was here...and Victor worried it was too late.

 

Yuuri’s voice came out as a whisper.  Victor had to lean forward to hear the words.  “I was running.  I had stayed late at the rink practicing.  I wanted it to be perfect.”  His voice shook for a moment and Victor saw him still.  His voice came out raspier, as if it were battling against his throat, the words choppy, running together, “It wasn’t the first time I stayed late.  I...always ran to and from the rink.  It’s never felt...unsafe.”

 

Yuuri seemed to be struggling and beat against his chest.  Victor watched him lean over and then realized he was reaching for a water bottle.  He rose immediately, handing it to Yuuri who kept his eyes, wide and alert, on Victor until he returned to his place.

 

“Thank you,” he began again.  Taking a long drink, he sniffed.  Victor waited.  Listening.  “I’ve run that route a thousand times without any problems.  But that night, I was focused on my program.  I wasn’t alert.  I had my headphones on, music from my program blaring.  I couldn’t hear myself breathing, let alone the footsteps behind me.  I...didn’t smell him until...he grabbed me from behind, dragging me into a nearby building.  I remember his hands...one was like a vice around my chest, the other over my mouth.  He was so...strong.

 

“I...couldn’t get away.  Once inside, he bent me over and I...felt his teeth sinking into the back of my neck.  After that...the next...few days were a haze.  When they found me, when Ciao Ciao found me, I was a wreck.”  Looking up at Victor, his expression twisted. “I...couldn’t see his face.  He kept me turned around the whole time.  I never even saw him.”

 

Victor saw the eyes turn up, like a light going on in Yuuri as the younger man crawled to the middle of the bed, holding onto his stomach.  “They gave me the morning after pill at the clinic.  So, it can’t be his.”  He took another inch closer to Victor, the hand going to his stomach, flattening against what should be a small bump.  “That means the baby has to be yours, doesn’t it?”  Yuuri’s eyes were begging Victor, tears brimming as he sought confirmation, desperation in the tension of his muscles.

 

Victor’s heart rent that moment.  Yuuri’s torment was clear, and the truth would only destroy what little strength the omega had left in his body.  Sorrow, neglect, and starvation had weakened him, and Victor could tell plainly the younger man was dangerously close to a drop.  Yuuri could possibly survive, but the fetus… He knew it was a lie but Yuuri’s need reached out to him, begging him to fix this.  A lie now, to temporarily fix this, and give Victor time to help Yuuri come around, grow stronger, and then deal with the truth when it was time for it.  Victor knew it was a gamble, and one that he didn’t really have the right to make.  But he knew what he had to say.  His mouth opened and Victor said the only thing he could. “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And of course I left it at the lie! Don't worry, next chapter you'll see some of Victor's magic.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor deals with the aftermath of his decision and with Yuuri’s clean up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this settles a few of you. I know that some mentioned they didn't like that Victor had to lie...but really, what else could he do? Also, the lie is the story.

* * *

 

 

Yuuri stilled for a moment, watching Victor sit back.   _Yes._   _Victor said yes.  This is his._  His body seemed to release some of the tension he’d been holding all this time.  He sobbed at the confession, lunging forward out of the bed and into Victor’s arms.  The older man caught him and held him close, feeling the omega rooting around to be closer to his scent.  Victor pulled back his collar letting him in and Yuuri laid there breathing him in for several minutes, letting his head clear.  Finally, Yuuri sat up, looking into Victor’s eyes and whispered, “You came.”

 

“I’m sorry it took so long to get here,” he answered.  “I’ve been looking for you since that night.”

 

Yuuri tucked a few strands of hair behind his ear.  The motion was ludicrous really, a few strands were just the beginning of Yuuri’s disheveled self.  He was a mess in Victor’s lap, unshaven, unwashed for days. But Victor didn’t care. Yuuri was safe.  And Victor would help him pull himself back together. “I...didn’t mean to make it so hard.”

 

The blue eyes carried the smile from the lips, showing his sincerity.  “You survived...that’s the most important part.” Sighing, he had to deal with the inevitable.  “Now, let’s see what we can do to get you cleaned up.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes blinked in confusion, then he looked down at himself, his eyes widening in horror.  “Oh, my god!” He quickly began to fuss, covering himself, jumping out of Victor’s lap and backing away from him.

 

Victor was tempted to release his pheromones, but held back.  That felt wrong to him. Instead he reached out a calming hand, standing up to follow Yuuri as the younger man vacated his lap and slowly gathered him back into his arms.  “It’s okay, Yuuri...I already suspected what I’d find.”

 

The admission didn’t seem to offer Yuuri much comfort.  “You knew…” He pulled at his raven hair, trying to settle it down around his neck and Victor realized he was subconsciously trying to cover the mark.

 

Reaching out to take Yuuri’s hands, Victor held onto them.  “As I’ve said, I’ve been looking for you. It...took some time to uncover everything.”  He smiled at the memory and the Herculean effort to uncover the truth, “Ciao Ciao didn’t trust me and neither did Phichit.”

 

Yuuri blinked up at him, Victor saw the enormity of those innocent brown eyes, “You...convinced them otherwise?”

 

Victor found himself breathless in those eyes for a moment, blinking to help find the words.  “Well, maybe not Ciao Ciao...I think he wanted to punch me. But...Phichit finally talked.”

 

Turning for a moment, Yuuri released Victor’s hands.  “He blames himself. Ciao Ciao, that is.” Yuuri scratched at his arm as Victor turned on a lamp.  Yuuri looked around for some clean clothes but was unsettled with everything his mother had laid on his desk, the fabric having soaked up the scents of the room.  Victor opened the closet and made the decision for him, pulling out some running pants and a t-shirt.

 

“Underwear?” Victor asked, not sure where to look.

 

Yuuri glanced around as if he hadn’t grown up in that room and then nodded towards a small chest of drawers.  “Third drawer.”

 

Victor then turned Yuuri towards the door and led him out...almost.  Yuuri froze at the exit. The threshold of the room representing more than a trip to the bathroom and a return to the despair he’d been living in for weeks.  The brown eyes turned up to Victor, who held them, “I can stay with you the whole way if you need me to.”

 

That seemed to create a fight in Yuuri, as if he were finding his mettle.  The brown eyes locked onto the blue, and he drew up his full height shaking his head.  “I can do this.” He then walked with determined steps to the bathroom, turning to grab the clothes just as he went inside.

 

Victor breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the shower turn on.   _Now, for the next order of business.  The nest._

 

Walking downstairs, he met with wide eyed stares.  The family had heard the tap turn on, knowing that Yuuri was out and bathing.  They looked ready for any sign of something good. “You got him out of his room,” Hiroko gasped.

 

“And into the shower,” Minako added, her voice holding relief.

 

Victor shrugged.  “I don’t know why...I just felt like he would.  Now...do we have clean nesting materials?”

 

Hiroko stood breathless for a moment, her grief turning to relief quickly as she learned her son would pull through.  Her expression brightened as she clapped her hands together. “Yes! Mari, will you help Victor gather what Yuuri needs?”

 

The older sister, still not as confident in the alpha’s abilities, grunted in agreement, guiding Victor down the hall to the oversized linen closet.  She handed Victor a large bundle and grabbed one for herself. “I hope you don’t plan on sleeping with him.”

 

Victor’s eyes widened at the implication.  He opened his mouth to say he hadn’t slept with him when he remembered the lie he told Yuuri.   _How am I going to turn this around?_  Closing his eyes, he chose a different path with his words.  “Yuuri is not in the right state of mind to make those decisions.”

 

“Too bad you didn’t think about that before,” she huffed.

 

Victor closed his eyes and bore the anger. _I can bear anything for him.  This...is nothing._

 

Upstairs, they piled the fresh bundles in the hall.  She glanced towards the shower, knowing it might take him some time to get cleaned up properly.  “Just have him pile them in the hall. I’ll grab them and wash them later.” She then walked away, her feet hitting the floor sharply.

 

Victor turned back to the bathroom, finally hearing the water turn off.  He waited and then the door opened letting the steam out. Yuuri was dressed and standing in front of the mirror wiping the fog off, toothbrush in his mouth.  Victor stepped inside and took a comb. He caught Yuuri’s eyes in the mirror, smiling to make sure his presence was known. With a tentative touch down Yuuri’s back, he rested it just above the waist.  Yuuri’s hand had stilled with the toothbrush, watching him in the mirror. Taking the comb in the other hand, Victor began working out the tangles. Yuuri finished brushing his teeth then focused on Victor’s movements in the mirror, letting Victor groom him.  Yuuri’s body had tensed under his touch at first but settled as he watched Victor in the mirror.

 

It took several painstaking minutes to work the tangles out of Yuuri’s hair, slower work as Victor kept his hands gentle to reduce any tugs in against the scalp.  But Yuuri was now clean, his scent, not perfect, holding onto some apprehension, but was much more stable. Turning Yuuri to face him, he asked, “Are you ready to tackle your nest?”

 

Yuuri nodded but leaned in and Victor let him, Yuuri’s hand pulling Victor’s shirt away like earlier.  Scenting was a familiar action, usually reserved for mates and children, but Victor knew from the moment he took Yuuri into his hotel room those weeks before that was where this was headed.  He knew he wanted permanency with this man. They were just going about it in a tangled path.

 

Victor then guided Yuuri out of the bathroom and back towards his room.  Yuuri looked at the two clean piles of nesting materials, and took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly.  He then walked towards the door. Opening, he wrinkled his nose realizing what he’d been living in. Looking up at Victor, he blushed in shame.  He put himself and their child at risk.

 

He chewed his lips for a few minutes, eyes darting around on the floor, “I don’t...where was I at?”

 

Victor titled his chin up with a gentle finger, “Don’t think about it.  We’ll get there...where you need to be...one step at a time. We just need to clean this up, okay?”

 

“We?” Yuuri asked.

 

Victor heard how much more was being asked in that question.  “I’ll work on the rest of the room while you focus on your nest.  Agreed?”

 

Yuuri shivered.  He’d never had another in his room while he prepared his nest.  It was intimate, private. He nodded, going in first to dismantle the nest.  He pulled out the pillows and cushions, removed the sheets, bedding, and all the small pieces the nest had collected over the last few weeks.  It had been a while since it had been completely dismantled...but this time it needed it. They all needed to go, to remove the old smell of sorrow and abandonment.  Yuuri’s sour scent had permeated through all of the layers, soaking all the items he had used in his past nests.

 

He looked at some of the pieces he was happy to get rid of, while others from childhood held memories.  He hoped that after washing they would be able to rejoin this nest. A rabbit came free of the bundle and he sighed, the original scent long gone.  He drew shaky fingers over the fabric.

 

_Do you remember scenting this for me?  I was so small, barely an omega writing a fan letter with painfully reproduced Russian from a google translator.  I was so surprised when you sent me a stuffed animal. I had told you how I got anxious. You sent back this rabbit.  Your scent permeated it like it was from your personal collection._

 

He hugged the rabbit close remembering how it calmed him over those months as he pushed himself to move out of novices and into juniors.   _Your scent is spoiled.  I’ll have to wash you._ Wrapping it up in the oversized bundle and started to go out of the room when he heard Victor call him, stilling his steps

 

“Mari said to leave it in the hall.”

 

“It smells,” Yuuri protested.  The odor from this pile would only crawl back into the room if left in the hall.

 

“I know,” Victor returned.  Seeing that Yuuri wasn’t going to budge, he suggested, “Why don’t I take it down.  I’m sure someone can direct me to the laundry facilities.” He moved up next to Yuuri, gathering the bundle into his arms.  The smell was overwhelming and he could read Yuuri’s reluctance at handing over his omega filth to his...alpha? Victor tightened his hold on the pile and smiled reassuringly.  “It’s okay, Yuuri. One step at a time.” Yuuri finally let it go.

 

Victor shifted the oversized bundle in his arms as he worked the stairs pausing to pick up something that fell from the sheets.  As he held the rabbit in his hands, a memory of a letter talking about anxiety came to his memory. _Y_ _ou kept this after all of this time, you made this part of your nest.  I didn’t know it was you...but now it make sense, why my scent draws you and comforts you._ Arriving at the lower floor, he greeted Yuuri’s mother who was startled to see him.

 

Hiroko’s eyes widened at the stench coming from the bundle, “Oh, dear.  Come with me and let’s get these in the wash.” She was leading him down the hallway from earlier, past the linen closet and he walked in to find Mari folding towels.

 

Yuuri’s sister huffed as Victor entered, moving out of his way so he can get it into the industrial washing machine.  “I said I’d get it.”

 

“He wouldn’t settle until I removed them,” Victor returned.  Then he shrugged and added, “I do know how to work, you know.”  He found the soap packets and tossed two in...because, _man, Yuuri..._

 

“Right,” she returned, disbelieving eyes watching his movements, clearly hoping for a mistake.  He knew she would be the hardest to bring over to his side but still, they wanted the same thing.  Victor shrugged and turned to study the controls. After a moment, he heard her impatient groan as she stepped forward and quickly punched the controls, setting it on hot.

 

He smirked.  Now he at least knew how to work it.  “Thanks,” he called out to her as he retreated back to Yuuri.

 

Upstairs, he found Yuuri in the process of rebuilding his nest.  The omega looked up as he entered the room, stilling in his work.  Victor shrugged and motioned to the windows. “You keep going. Let me clean the rest of the room.  We’ll finish sooner that way.”

 

He watched Yuuri consider the offer even as the initial stress washed over his body.  The omega kept his eyes on the alpha as Victor walked across to the window, wrestling it open slightly, allowing the scent to mingle with fresh air.  “It’s...I’m an omega...I have to nest.”

 

Victor kept his voice light, he could hear Yuuri apologizing for something that needed no apology.  “That doesn’t mean I can’t help. I may be alpha...but that doesn’t mean that defines who I am.”

 

Yuuri blushed, looking at the small pile he was building up on the bed.  “I...like to nest.”

 

Victor shrugged, hoping to show Yuuri that he accepted these traits as part of him. “I like to clean...I get nervous energy and my entire house gets cleaned up.”  He held Yuuri’s eyes for a moment before he added, “Let me help.”

 

Brown eyes darted around the room and he finally shrugged.  “The nest is mine, though.”

 

Victor chuckled seeing a little of Yuuri’s sister in him.  “Fine. May I open the rest of the windows?”

 

To Victor’s relief, the raven hair nodded and he set about opening the rest of the windows in Yuuri’s room first before slipping out and opening up the rest of the floor.  He turned as he pushed out the hall window to see Hiroko standing there with a bucket and towels. “Oh, I can do that.”

 

“You shouldn’t have to,” she argued.

 

Victor frowned then asked, “Why?  Because I’m an alpha?”

 

She laughed at him.  “No, silly. You’re a guest.”

 

He looked down the hall to Yuuri’s room for a moment before saying, “Am I really?  I think...maybe I’m a little more than a guest.”

 

She sighed and then agreed with him.  “I suppose if you insist on working, you can start emptying out that room over there.  We thought Yuuri might want to move to that room once the baby arrived. It has a small room attached that could be a nursery.  But...” Looking at her son’s room, she added, “I know...you got him out of his nest...but it may still be a while before he lets you in.  He’s very hurt.”

 

He nodded, his eyes following hers.  “I never meant to be a part of that...I only wanted him to be safe,” he admitted quietly.

 

She studied him a moment considering his words and Victor worried he gave away the lie.  Then she startled him as her arm wrapped around his waist from the side. “Of course you didn’t, dear.  Anyone with eyes can see how you feel about him.”  Her eyes rested on the door, sounds of Yuuri’s industrious movements coming through.  “Give him time. Yuuri always needs time.”

 

“I will…”  Turning to the door of the other room, he shrugged thoughtfully.  “We’ll need to make room for baby, anyway.”

 

“This entire floor is yours...the two of you.  Make it your home for as long as you need it,” she offered.  And as Victor started to walk towards the room, she grabbed his hand and squeezed it.  He turned to meet her eyes. “Thank you.” Victor knew he had at least one ally in this house in the kind woman.

 

He worked at emptying the room, cleaning both that room and Yuuri's while the omega finished his nest.  He then looked up at a small coo and turned to see Yuuri standing by the door of his new space.  “Are you finished?”

 

He nodded and Victor moved quickly over into his space, Yuuri tugging him along.  Opening the door to Yuuri’s room, Victor took a quick breath of air. It was clean, almost sterile.  Yuuri had done excellent work once he was set in motion. “It doesn’t smell like you,” Victor murmured.

 

Yuuri turned, his hands tugging at his shirt nervously.  “I...I smell horrible.”

 

Victor turned, putting an arm around Yuuri, “You don’t...you’re clean now.”

 

“My scent...it’s still anxious,” Yuuri admitted.

 

Victor’s lips parted and then an “ah” slipped out.  Pulling Yuuri to him, he felt the omega tugging at his collar once more.  As he rested his cheek against Yuuri’s head, he thought, _I could get used to this_.  It was such a childlike motion, but Yuuri...he needed that and Victor knew that it was something he needed as well.  Something in that motion seemed to settle the omega quickly and soon Victor smelled the slight shift in Yuuri’s scent, happier, relaxed.  

 

The omega turned and crawled into his bed, his legs butterflying and Victor stepped in relishing in the release of the spring fresh scent that was Yuuri.  Victor considered the contrast. He’d always been described as winter...ice warmed over by a fire, a fir tree releasing its smell as it burned. Yuuri...he was a walk in a meadow full of wildflowers, a child dancing with dandelions, snow melting into cold babbling brooks.  And that’s what he saw...the innocence of Yuuri before he was spoiled. _You still have that...I hope you know it.  He didn’t take that from you._

 

Then Victor heard a growling and Yuuri looked down at his stomach, a blush covering his exposed skin.  Both men smiled at each other, stifling a laugh as hunger interrupted. “I think it’s time to deal with your next need, my Yuuri,” Victor said finally.   _My Yuuri_...how easily that came to his tongue.  But with Yuuri so quick to scent him, to settle into him, the other felt every bit his mate.

 

He led Yuuri downstairs, the omega’s hands wrapped around his arm as he leaned close to Victor.  In the kitchen, Hiroko looked up and smiled warmly. “It’s so good to see you downstairs once more.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes dropped, and Victor could smell the shame starting to sour his scent.  He leaned in and brushed his lips into Yuuri’s hair, letting Yuuri smell his reassurance without direct scenting.  Yuuri took a deep breath and settled, his brown eyes turning to his mother. It was his stomach that announced their purpose, the growl very audible causing Yuuri to blush once more.  “I-I’m hungry,” he admitted.

 

Hiroko’s smile widened even more, her eyes darting to Victor in deep appreciation.  “That’s what I like to hear. Let me see...something to wake up your appetite properly.”  She began moving around the kitchen, several things ready to prepare for the dinner crowd.  “Katsudon.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened and Victor received a burst of happiness mixed with anticipation from Yuuri’s scent.  He couldn’t help but smile indulgently to the shy omega.

 

“Not too much, though,” his mother fussed as she set the bowl before Yuuri and then Victor’s eyes widened when she placed another before him, more generously portioned.  He looked over at Yuuri’s dish in confusion before she added, “You need to ease your stomach into portions. I don’t want you overdoing it all at once.”

 

Yuuri nodded as he took the chopsticks and began assembling his first bite.  “I...do better with small meals,” he murmured. Then he took a bite and Victor watched those eyes close as he enjoyed that bite with every fiber of his being.  Watching the expression of pleasure on Yuuri’s face, smelling the exquisite scent released by the happy omega, Victor could almost imagine him in bed. His mind, distracted from the constant worry, then work, suddenly looked at Yuuri and saw the beauty he danced with in Sochi.  The aroma of happiness coming from him mixed with the allure of his face, painted with...ecstasy. Victor licked his lips thinking of that expression on Yuuri’s face as he kissed along his jaw, caressed his chest, kneed apart his legs….

 

Victor coughed, shaking his head to clean his thoughts, he pulled the reins on his libido, not wanting to scare Yuuri with his unexpected arousal.  Turning back to his bowl, he worked to take his first bite, probably not as well assembled as Yuuri’s but as he brought them to his lips, he found his own eyes closing as the flavors came together in his mouth.  “ _Vkusno_!” he exclaimed without thought.

 

Both Yuuri and Hiroko watched him and she chuckled.  She didn’t need a translation for that word. It was written all over his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man! Yuuri!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari still eyes Victor with suspicion. Victor learns Yuuri has neglected to go to the doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...so I just wanted to put up another chapter of something tonight. So here you go. Enjoy!

* * *

 

  
  


Yuuri, content from his meal, settled on the sofa while the family fluttered about checking on him and asking Victor questions.

 

“Did you find the futon in the closet?” Hiroko asked Victor while running a soothing hand over Yuuri’s brow.  She frowned watching her son turn instinctively away from her scent and towards Victor but didn’t comment. She understood his need to surround himself with only the scent of this man whom he was placing so much faith in.

 

Victor’s blue eyes met hers, and he noticed how much of Yuuri’s mother was passed onto her son. The soft brown eyes, the pleasant plumpness of their faces. He saw her looking at him, expectantly and his eyes narrowed, “The bedding?”

 

Hiroko’s expression softened, “Oh, dear...Mari, go up and make up Victor’s bed for the night.  I’m sure he’ll understand after.”

 

“I can help,” Victor offered as he started to stand.

 

Mari rolled her eyes and indicated to the man nestled into Victor’s side.  “Don’t bother.  Yuuri looks about ready to fall asleep.”

 

It was true.  Yuuri was curled into Victor’s side close enough to enjoy the residual scent left by Victor’s glands.  His eyelids would lower and then he’d jerk awake. Victor shifted so Yuuri could settle deeper against him as he turned his attention to Yuuri’s parents.

 

Victor put an arm around Yuuri, half supporting him, half holding the man closer.  “I am not sure how to help out around here but I’m assuming there is ice since Yuuri skates.”

 

Hiroko thought of her son’s first rink.  “Oh, Yuuri can show you later where he practiced.  Minako’s ballet studio is nearby.”

 

Victor turned to look at Yuuri, whom he believed to have nodded off.  “How much has Yuuri’s doctor restricted him?”

 

Hiroko and Toshiya exchanged glances and shifted uncomfortably.  Victor noticed the silence and looked up as the couple struggled with words.  Finally, Hiroko confessed bitterly, “I called Yuuri’s omegologist for help when he wouldn’t leave his room, and then again when he fell nestbound, he told me to call emergency services  _ if  _ he dropped.  But that was all the help we could get.”

 

Victor opened his mouth in shock but it was Yuuri who muttered sleepily, “Yuuko never liked him.  She has a different doctor.”

 

“Maybe that’s an option,” Hiroko considered.  “We can call her tomorrow.”

 

Victor was outraged at the doctor, but knew it wasn’t the time to rehash the family’s frustration.  He pressed back to the original topic. “So when  _ did  _ he last go to see his doctor?”

 

Hiroko’s cast a worried glance towards her son.  “He saw a doctor before he came to us I think.”

 

Leaning against Victor’s shoulder, and keeping his eyes closed, Yuuri shook his head.  “Just a medic at the competition. He noticed I was ill after competing. He suggested a home pregnancy kit.”

 

Hiroko’s eyes widened.  “Yuuri! You haven’t seen any doctors?”

 

He shook his head but Victor could feel the stress building in his form.  Victor stroked the raven hair and settled his wrist nearby so Yuuri would calm down.  “Perhaps we need to move forward?  Tomorrow, we should call...Yuuko?”  He heard a  _ yes  _ before continuing.  “We will call Yuuko and find out who she sees and then set up an appointment for Yuuri there.  If his current doctor can’t be bothered to check on a nestbound omega, he needs to be disbarred...or whatever they do to doctors.”

 

Yuuri whined softly and pulled at Victor’s wrist.  Victor realized his anger had filtered into his scent.  He took some deep breaths before continuing.  “How else can I help?”

 

“Just helping with Yuuri is enough,” his mother began.

 

Toshiya, however, saw the disappointment in the blue eyes.  He realized Victor wanted to prove his worth and reached out to still his wife’s words with a pat on her knee.  “I can use you.  There are things Yuuri would help me with and I don’t mind showing you if you’re sincere.”

 

Victor brightened immediately at the offer.  “I am.  Just show me what to do.”

 

Toshiya smiled at the man’s enthusiasm, he had a way of reading people and he knew when the tall pale stranger from his son’s posters walked in that this man was kind, generous to a fault, and very in love with his son.  “Very well.  Our mornings are spent preparing for guests.  Around here, we are busy in bursts.  The onsen pretty much takes care of itself but we move through to make sure the guests don’t need anything, keep the towels stocked up, and check to make sure a guest hasn’t fallen asleep in any of the baths.  There is laundry involved and cleaning and for the most part, that’s Mari’s domain.”  Turning to nod towards his wife, she frowned not understanding.  She shook her head at him and Toshiya frowned, deliberately motioning to Victor.  She waited a beat and then her eyes widened.

 

“Oh!  That’s me.  Okay, I run the kitchen and I am always in need of servers and a dishwasher.  We are family run so it’s really just us.  We have a couple of locals during the busy period but it isn't cost efficient during the slower times.”  She looked at her son drifting in and out of sleep at this man’s side.  “Yuuri always helped out where needed between practice and school.”

 

His voice came out sleepy and thin, “Laundry...Mari liked to stick me with laundry duty.”

 

Hiroko smiled, watching his brown eyes open slowly as if fighting against themselves. “You’re awake, dear?”

 

Yuuri nodded even as he curled on his side, his cheek resting on Victor’s thigh.

 

“Then I can maybe operate like Yuuri,” Victor suggested.  “I’ll be in and out of the rink and helping Yuuri but if you need my help, just tell me.”

 

“Are you sure?”  Hiroko nodded towards Yuuri.

 

“Don’t worry.  Yuuri will remain my priority.”

 

Yuuri pulled up and huffed.  “I’m right here, you know.  All of you are talking about me like I’m a child, like I can’t take care of myself.”

 

Victor exchanged looks with Yuuri’s parents.  He didn’t bring up that the evidence spoke to the contrary.  Instead, he said, “You like to nest, I like to take care of others.  Indulge me.”

 

Yuuri sniffed and pushed up off the couch.  “I’m going to take Vicchan outside.”

 

“Makka and I can join you,” Victor offered cheerily.  Yuuri shrugged and moved towards the door to put on his shoes.  Victor came to his side and pulled on his own shoes whistling for Makka.  The old dog trotted up with Vicchan on her heels.  He attached her leash and watched Yuuri do the same for Vicchan.

 

Outside, Yuuri started walking, sharp steps down the sidewalk and Victor noticed the similarity to his sister.  _  I must have made him mad. _  Victor walked with him holding his words back and waiting.  He didn’t know Yuuri well, but what he had learned was that he needed to wait for Yuuri to reach out for him before moving in too quickly.  Their steps took them towards the beach and Yuuri leaned against the rail that separated it from the road and sidewalk.  Vicchan slipped underneath and sniffed around the grass before finding a place to pee.  

 

“I’m not normally such a mess,” Yuuri said quietly.  “I tend to be independent.  Headstrong.  I set my mind on something and I work hard to get it.  Leaning on others, anyone, my family included...that’s hard for me.”

 

Victor listened as the younger man talked about his insecurity.  Waiting for Yuuri to still, he started slowly.  “Why don’t we look at this differently?” Victor suggested, his voice also soft.  “Instead of you leaning on me, let’s enter into a partnership...for the sake of this baby.” 

 

Yuuri grimaced, looking down at his feet.  “I...don’t remember that night.  I don’t know what you want from me.”

 

_I know._   Victor stared out at the ocean and welcomed the sound of the seagulls in the distance, a reminder of home.  “I didn’t come here with any expectations.  I...have hope, but I make no demands.”  He snuck a look at Yuuri who seemed more open.  Reaching for Yuuri’s hand, he added, “I think you’ve had enough taken from you.  Out of all of this, I want you to have choice.”

 

Yuuri looked at the hand, the slender pale fingers lacing with his own.  “And what if...I don’t choose this baby,” Yuuri murmured.

 

Victor felt disquiet settle on him but he knew this was Yuuri’s decision.  _  It’s not even my child.  Why does it upset me? _    “I...was adopted.  My parents were two alphas and therefore couldn’t have children.  I would hope...that the parents that choose to take this child would care for them as much as mine cared for me, Yuuri.”

 

“But you would be gone,” Yuuri surmised.

 

Victor closed his eyes as he considered Yuuri’s words.   _ Am I here for the child or for Yuuri?   _ Turning to Yuuri, he said, “My presence isn’t conditional.  I’m here...unless you don’t want me here.”

 

Yuuri dropped Victor’s hand and turned away, his eyes resting on the glistening water in the distance.  “It was just one night,” Yuuri whispered.

 

“And yet you already find comfort in my scent,” Victor reminded him.  He tentatively reached an arm around Yuuri’s back resting his hand on the younger man’s hip.  Yuuri was stiff for a moment before relaxing into him.

 

* * *

  
  


Back at the inn, Victor followed Yuuri around as he helped with the evening dinner crowd, the younger man introduced Victor to some of the regulars explaining that he didn’t speak Japanese.  Victor added onto that statement a cheeky “not yet”. Yuuri rolled his eyes. The guests had a lot of questions, specifically asking if Victor was his alpha, which had both men squirming.  Yuuri wasn’t ready to commit to that and Victor respected that...he did promise choice.

 

Clearing the tables was easy and before long, Victor was efficiently bussing tables and helping Hiroko with dishes.  She clucked at him about working too hard on his first day.  Victor shrugged and pointed out, “I did arrive unannounced.  It’s the least I could do.”

 

She smiled affectionately and said, “You already did so much with my son.  It feels greedy to ask for more.”

 

Victor focused on the soapy water before him, “Anything I do takes work off of Yuuri.  So...you asked me to be here for Yuuri.  That’s what I’m doing.”

 

* * *

  
  
  


As the onsen and restaurant patrons cleared out Victor helped Yuuri put the last load of laundry into the washer.  On the shelf sat the bunny waiting to be claimed.  Yuuri reached for it, his fingers working over the surface before closing his eyes, hugging it close.  Victor watched the action and could see Yuuri weaving on his feet.  Reaching around Yuuri to steady him, he allowed his wrist to come in contact with the bunny, letting it take on his scent.  “Will you let me walk you upstairs and then go to bed?”

 

“I need to take Vicchan out,” Yuuri breathed sleepily.

 

“I’ll see to him and bring him up to you once he’s finished,” Victor promised.

 

Yuuri didn’t have the energy to argue.  Victor walked him up the stairs, a protective arm around his back and left him at the bathroom to clean up before bed.  Taking the leashes, he had the dogs waiting eagerly to go back out.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Mari took a drag off of her cigarette blowing smoke into the cool evening air.  She watched the silver haired Russian step out of the house juggling two leashes and smirked.  Not that she bought into his story.  It was all too convenient.  Besides, she noticed what her omega mother appeared to miss, what her beta father couldn’t know.  As Victor approached her, she flicked her cigarette ash to the side and stated, “He doesn’t smell like you, you know.”

 

Victor started, surprised by her presence and the directness of her statement.  Something about her tone had him narrowing his gaze at the other alpha.  “Of course not...he’s been lying in his own sour distress.  It would linger, and then his natural scent will come back in time.”  Victor could hear himself babbling, reciting information from textbooks he read as a teen.

 

She huffed, her bland expression speaking volumes, “I don’t buy it.  What’s your game?”

 

Victor saw he needed to be direct, honest with Yuuri’s protective sister.  “I want to be with Yuuri...if he’ll have me.”

 

Flicking the ash out she cast a satirical eye up at him, “And the baby?”

 

Victor felt his mouth run dry.  Something in her look worried him.  “Yuuri...I…” Victor stuttered to a stop.

 

She smirked.  “And what are you going to do if the baby comes out not looking anything like you?”

 

Blue eyes widened into saucers, Victor stammered at her, “I...Yuuri…”

 

Sighing Mari flicked the remainder of her cigarette into a nearby trash can.  Leveling a gaze on his shocked face, “My brother wants to believe the baby is yours.  But you and I both know it belongs to that asshole who raped him.  Otherwise, that mark would have faded by now.  I just don’t see how you fit in all of this.”

 

“I...lied,” Victor confessed, he caught Mari’s eye roll.  He started again, “I didn’t know what to say...he was desperate, begging for something to hold onto.  He was about to drop and so I gave him what he needed.”

 

Mari sucked in a breath, “What are you saying?”

 

Victor chewed his lip, “I didn’t have sex with Yuuri in Sochi.  He was drunk and unable to consent.  I couldn’t, wouldn’t, do something like that.  Yuuri was drunk to the point where he doesn’t remember the night.  He just assumed he doesn’t remember us.  But I was about to explain that to him when our coaches showed up and Yuuri was whisked away.  Maybe...that’s as it should be.”  Holding Mari’s eyes, he added, “Yuuri needs the possibility that I’m the father.  I couldn’t take that away.”

 

Mari stuffed her lighter in her pocket, then shoved her fingers through her curls.  “God, Nikiforov, do you just randomly agree to be the baby daddy to virtual strangers?”

 

“We aren’t strangers,” Victor protested.

 

Mari’s snarky quip died on her lips when she saw the sincerity in his face.  She breathed for a moment.  “Before today, how much have you talked to my brother?” she countered.

 

He shrugged.  “We talked all evening...it was kismet.”

 

She rolled her eyes and said, “Bullshit.”  Studying him, she continued.  “Listen, Victor...I don’t know what you’re about but if you hurt him, I won’t hesitate to kick your ass.”

 

Victor thinned his lips.  He could respect that.  “I won’t hurt him.”

 

* * *

  
  
  


Victor led the dogs up the stairs and sent Vicchan to Yuuri.  Makkachin started to follow him then came back to Victor with a whine.  Sighing, he waved towards Yuuri’s room. “Take care of Yuuri,” he commanded.  The dog huffed and ran after Vicchan.  Victor could hear Yuuri’s voice through the door open just enough to admit Vicchan.  He smiled at the soft cadence as he retreated to the bathroom for his own bedtime routine.

 

Victor came into his room and changed to a set of pajamas.  Looking around the room he grimaced, this space wasn’t him yet.  He still needed to unpack and put away his things.  Perhaps he could order up some furniture.   _ Would that be okay?   _ Hiroko said to make it theirs.  His running thoughts somehow lured him into sleep.

 

A sliding sound tugged at Victor’s consciousness.  Opening his eyes, he spotted the thin form of Yuuri’s body in the shadowy moonlight.  The man was shushing the dogs and then stepped into the room, shifting nervously.

 

“Are you okay?” Victor whispered.

 

A whine slipped from Yuuri and then Victor smelled the anxiety mixed with fear.  Pulling back the bedding, he invited Yuuri to settle next to him.  The younger man only waited a moment before he ran to cuddle into Victor’s space.  The older man laid back into his bed and soon his arms were full of Yuuri, the omega tangling into him, his leg wrapping around Victor’s, his arm sliding over his midriff, his head snuggling into his shoulder.  Sighing, he wrapped a protective arm around the smaller body.  _  I’ll be your safe place if that’s what you need, my Yuuri. _

 

His last thought was of the sniffing cool noses of two poodles as they found their places next to them.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his weight loss and other neglects, Victor pushes to get Yuuri in as soon as possible but after hearing how his former care provider didn’t act swiftly, he seeks a new doctor on Yuuko’s recommendation. (Oh, I love Dr. Ito and her husband, Dr. Ito. She’s a wonderful omegologist and he’s a gifted pediatrician. Omega/Beta couple. All sweetness and cuddles.) Will we see the baby?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter! I think you can all use this one!

* * *

 

  
  


Yuuri rose early the next morning, slipping away to shower and getting dressed.  Victor smiled but remained still as he watched Yuuri shyly shuffle, away from him.  The embarrassment painted his cheeks pink. Victor waited until Yuuri had cleared the door before sitting up to watch the man retreat down the hall, hearing the tap run he sighed looking forward to mornings like this in which Yuuri didn’t feel the need to rush off.   _ You’ll grow comfortable with me in time, Yuuri...but I hope you don’t lose that adorable blush. _

 

Victor looked around the room, still a mess of unpacked luggage.  He rummaged through his boxes until he found one containing his casual clothes.   _ Perhaps I’ll unpack today.  _  Glancing to the door, he thinned his lips.   _ But first things first.  We need to get you in to see a doctor. _

 

He showered after Yuuri and joined the omega in the kitchen just as Hiroko set a bowl of rice with an egg on top of it in front of Yuuri.  “It’s so good to see you eating regularly, my son,” he heard her fuss. Yuuri blushed in answer, playing with his food before finally taking a bite.  She turned to Victor and asked, “What will you eat for breakfast?”

 

Smiling cheerily, he took a seat next to Yuuri and answered, “I’ll have the same as Yuuri if that’s okay.”

 

“More than okay,” she returned to the stove, the rice already prepared and set an egg to boil.  “You boys are easy.”

 

Victor studied Yuuri a moment while he waited for his breakfast before broaching the topic on his mind.  “So...a doctor’s appointment.”

 

Yuuri made a face but kept quiet.  He stabbed into the egg watching the soft yoke run into the rice, gathering the rice deliberately to fill his mouth.  Clearly intent on not discussing the matter.

 

Victor slowly started again, “Yuuko sounds like a nice lady.  I hope to meet her soon.” Watching Yuuri’s face, he saw it soften with the slight change of subject.  “It sounds like you might prefer her doctor. Do you think we could meet her today, and she would help us to get in contact with them?”

 

Yuuri stilled his motions, swallowing the last of his breakfast.  Not taking his eyes from the now empty bowl he shrugged and then murmured, “She’d help us.”

 

Victor looked up as the dish was placed in front of him and thanked Hiroko.  She smiled and waved it off cheerily, disappearing to let them talk. He took a bite, the sweetness of the egg was enhanced by the subtle richness of the rice.  Humming he let the flavors combine in his mouth before he tried to push Yuuri further. Taking a breath, “So...how do you want to get in touch with her. Shall we call?”

 

Yuuri shrugged once more then mumbled, “She helps run the skating rink.”

 

Victor brightened immediately, “Oh, good!  Perhaps you could show me how to get there and we could ask her then.  Sort of kill two birds with one stone that way.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes finally left the bowl and turned to Victors, but they were full of doubt.  “So you can practice for next season?”

 

Victor shrugged, he saw the fear of abandonment in those soft brown eyes.  But he knew either way he would upset Yuuri. Blushing he said, “I’m out for the season.  I officially withdrew. Besides, Chris deserves a win don’t you think?” He laughed, hoping to change the mood but the laugh rang hollow as Yuuri only seemed to shrink into himself further.

 

Yuuri frowned at his words, the eyes sliding from Victor’s face and to his hand.  “Because...of me?”

 

Victor sighed and nodded.  “I...need to be here. With you.”

 

Yuuri shook his head in protest.  “I...you...we don’t...you shouldn’t have given up everything for me.  I would have figured my way out.”

 

_ No, you wouldn’t...not if the state I walked in on is any indication.  _  Taking a deep breath, he changed the focus.  “What if I wanted to be here? What if I needed to be here?  What if every fiber of my being demanded that I be here?” He held Yuuri’s eyes, watching the brown eyes widened in amazement.  He let his words sit quietly in the moment before adding, “I’ll still skate, but for now, I’m with you. And maybe I can see you back into competition.”

 

Yuuri smiled at Victor’s offer, but tilted his head thoughtfully.  “I...I don’t think I can skate anymore. My coach dropped me off here.”

 

Victor winced at his words, could hear the sense of rejection.  He could see it, written all over Yuuri, that abandonment he feared in Victor was the result of what he thought had happened with his coach, with the entire skating world.  It turned its back on him, leaving him. Victor wanted to assure Yuuri that while it wasn’t common for an omega to return after giving birth it wasn’t unheard of. But he had a more impending problem to tackle first.  “We’ll see what the doctor says,” Victor suggested. “I know you were skating a few weeks back.”

 

Yuuri nodded and then huffed.  “Takeshi was pissed when he saw the video.  He worried I was doing too much.” A small smile etched onto Yuuri’s lips, “Yuuko said he did the same to her.  She said he ‘pestered her’ into laying off the triples. But in her case, she had triplets.” A giggle slipped out of his lips as he remembered.

 

Victor returned his smile and a small chuckle then asked, indicating to Yuuri’s middle.  “And you?”

 

His hand went down to his stomach, an unconscious cradling of the baby before answering, “I...don’t know.”

 

Victor studied Yuuri for a moment before suggesting softly, “We should find out, if you want to know.  Then we will know where to go from there. But you should see the doctor to make sure you and the baby are healthy. And to learn about what comes next.”

 

Yuuri nodded but closed his eyes.  “I’m afraid,” he whispered. “I didn’t ask for any of this.”

 

Victor frowned, sadness filling his senses and he didn’t know if it was his own or Yuuri’s.  And the idea that Yuuri thought Victor may have done this to him hurt him even deeper. He murmured, “I know.  But we’re here now.” Something in Victor cracked at that moment, not a break, but enough to shake him. His doubt crept up.   _ What if I’m unwelcome?  What if my being here is just hurting him more?  Should I just take the blame, leave, and let him hate me if that helps him move on?  _   “Yuuri...I want to be here, for you.  I hope you know that. But...if you don’t want me here, if my being here upsets you, I will go.  Just say the word.”

 

Yuuri turned panicked eyes towards him and a whine slipped out.  Without preamble he slid off the stool and wrapped his arms around Victor, startling the older man.  Victor felt the desperate plea of the motion. It was childlike in both its passion and sincerity. But he heard Yuuri’s whisper.  “Don’t go. Please.”

 

Relief washed over Victor so fast he felt lightheaded.  Brushing a kiss into that mop of raven hair, Victor’s hands slid down the slender back as he returned the embrace.  “I won’t go anywhere. As long as you want me here, I’m here.”

 

* * *

  
  


The walk to the rink was quiet.  They had the dogs on their leads, escorting the couple because why not?  They began the walk as separate individuals, walking side by side, with a distance, but somewhere along the way, as they picked their way across some uneven terrain, Yuuri’s hand found Victor’s.  It was under the guise of steadying himself, of course. Victor felt a small rush as the small hand first snuck its way into his, then slowly closed around his, holding it warmly. As they drew closer to their destination, their hands adjusted and fingers laced together.  It was as if that plea for Victor to stay and that promise to stay for as long as Yuuri wanted him there solidified them as a couple. Unspoken. Untitled. Victor didn’t know how to refer to Yuuri.

 

_ Boyfriend?  Maybe… _

 

_ Mate?  _  Could he go that far with Yuuri still marked by another man?

 

_ Partner?  _  They were certainly in this together.  It seemed odd knowing they had only been around one another for less than a week.  But Victor felt the intimacy of their connection and was fairly certain Yuuri felt it as well.

 

_ I can’t rush this.  I can’t rush you, my Yuuri.  You’ve been through so much. _

 

Victor’s wandering thoughts came to an abrupt halt as Yuuri’s steps stilled.  Victor came back to present and realized he was in front of the skating rink. “Is this where you grew up skating?” Victor asked.

 

Yuuri nodded.  Victor could see the visit was bittersweet.  Yuuri was returning to a place of childhood happiness, but he wasn’t there on his own terms, something that was terribly important to the younger man. They climbed the steps, Victor’s hand going to Yuuri’s back protectively.

 

Inside the building, Victor could see a young woman around Yuuri’s age putting away skates.  She had her back to the couple as they entered, but upon hearing their approach she called over her shoulder, “We’re closed right now.”

 

“I...know,” Yuuri murmured.  “I thought…”

 

She turned and her eyes widened.  Dropping the cheap rental skates in her hands, she sprinted toward them, almost jumping over the counter.  “You’re back! You’ve left your house. I’m so glad to see you again. I’m so sorry for what the girls did.  Will you ever forgive us?”

 

“I’m...okay,” Yuuri murmured, he blushed a little not wanting to bring up the memory of his video.  Stepping to the side, he looked up at Victor who had watched the exchange. The Russian realized the sweet woman blamed herself for Yuuri’s situation, the distress he felt at the exposure of the video, even for him going nestbound.  Yuuri indicated to him, “This...is Victor.”

 

Yuuko stood wide-eyed and open-mouthed staring at Victor, who, evidently, didn’t need the introduction.  As she slowly came back to animation she began lightly slapping at Yuuri and bouncing on her toes. A charmingly girlish giggle bubbled to her lips as she started fanning herself trying to catch her breath.  Victor kept his smile but was worried she’d hyperventilate. “I-i-it’s Victor Nikiforov.”

 

Yuuri nodded, “I know.  He...came here...for me.”  Victor heard the wonder in that statement as if he just realized the implications of those words, of Victor’s actions.  As he studied Yuuko’s reaction, he also wondered how much she knew...or thought she knew.

 

“Hello, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Victor greeted.  “I see you are a fan of skating.”

 

“Y-yes,” she stammered.  “My girls are going to  _ die  _ when they find out I met you.”

 

“I’m sure I’ll get to meet them as well.  I’ll need a practice rink and I’m not going anywhere...for now.”   He held Yuuri’s eyes willing Yuuri to say he’d never be sent away. But it had to be Yuuri’s choice.

 

Yuuko blinking in disbelief, “I can’t believe this...why...how…”

 

“Phichit sort of spilled the beans,” Yuuri explained.

 

“Oh...the baby...but…”  Her eyes flicked from Yuuri to Victor in confusion.  “I thought…”

 

_ She understands more than I thought.   _ Victor flashed his camera ready smile, wrapped his arms around Yuuri and announced proudly, “I’m the papa.”  He hoped she would be satisfied with that statement and just accept it as Yuuri’s family had.

 

Yuuko’s eyes worked over the couple as studied her friend.  Victor could see there had been some conversations between them.  It was clear that she knew about the rape, the uninvited marking, and what Yuuri knew and suspected about Sochi, but then she smiled warmly, and responded, “Of course you are!  Well...that’s just wonderful.”

 

Yuuri shifted nervously as he turned to Yuuko and broached the next subject.  “My old doctor...he didn’t come when Mom called about me. Perhaps...I need a different doctor.”

 

Her eyes widened and she nodded emphatically.  “Oh, god yes! That guy always gave me the heebie jeebies.”

 

Yuuri took a deep breath and let it out.  “Mom thought I’d be more comfortable with a male omegologist.”

 

“That doctor you had isn’t even omega!  How could he know what you’re dealing with?”  She was already headed towards a door off to the side marked office.  Yuuri followed her with Victor in tow. “Let me hook you up with my doctor.  Dr. Ito is amazing and she’ll take good care of you. And once the baby is here, her husband...he’s beta, by the way...he’ll be an excellent pediatrician.  He takes such good care of my girls.” Digging through her purse, she mumbled to herself. “Let me see here...I know I have a card from my last appointment.  Oh, here it is!” She handed over the appointment card. “I don’t need this but it has their number on it. I bet she’ll get you in quickly if you explain the circumstances.”

 

Yuuri nodded, taking the card and studying the katakana script on it.  Turning to Victor, he suggested, “Perhaps...you can go with me?” Victor could smell as well as see the fear in Yuuri and that wouldn’t do.  They needed to get over this hurdle and put Yuuri on a healthy track.

 

“I’d be happy to,” he answered warmly.  Victor knew he was answering to please Yuuri, but in truth he wanted to go just as badly as the other man needed him to.

 

“Takeshi went to all of my appointments,” Yuuko supplied happily.  Victor spotted the smile she gave him, realizing her clever eyes had caught the interaction between Yuuri and himself.  “If you want some privacy, you can make the call right now.”

 

Victor nodded and thanked her as he watched her leave the room closing the door behind her.  Yuuri took out his phone and his fingers hesitated over the numbers but finally dialed. Leaning into Victor while he waited for the connection his fingers played with the buttons on Victor’s henley and his forehead rested on Victor’s chest.  Victor’s hands settled on Yuuri’s hips, his thumbs moving back and forth on the curve of his waist in a comforting motion.

 

Several words were exchanged in Japanese and Victor wished he could understand them feeling the tension in the younger man’s body.  Yuuri disconnected the call and looked up. Their faces were so close and part of Victor ached to close the gap. He settled for resting their foreheads together.

 

Yuuri relaxed into the close hold, breathing out he said, “They...want to see me this afternoon.  I’ve...got the last appointment. They are staying late so they can see me.”

 

Victor put a hand on Yuuri’s lower back, “Good.  That’s a good sign that we’ll be able to rely on them.”

 

Yuuri nodded and Victor could feel him tremble.  Sliding his hand up Yuuri’s back, the other slipping around around his waist, he pulled Yuuri into an embrace.  Victor could feel Yuuri’s hand travel up his chest, stop at his shoulders, then slow move again. A gentle pawing motion at his collar let Victor know what Yuuri needed.  “Go ahead,  _ solnyshko _ .  Take what you need from me,” he murmured.

 

The smaller body shifted in his arms and Victor tilted his head allowing Yuuri access to his scent.  Victor could feel the soft warm breath of Yuuri’s against his skin and could feel in the slight trembles that the other man needed more than his normal scent at the moment.  The alpha hesitantly released a small amount of comforting pheromone into the air. The smaller body relaxed against him as Victor supported him. “I’ve got you.”

 

Stepping back Yuuri pulled himself together, he looked up at Victor surprised.  “You...didn’t do that before.”

 

Victor dropped his eyes away from Yuuri’s face, unsure if he had upset to the other man by taking the additional step.  “You hadn’t asked me to stay. I didn’t...want to impose.”

 

Yuuri studied him for a moment before whispering, “Thank you.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yuuri stood nervously beside Victor in front of the clinic.  They arrived with no problem, but once at the threshold of the building Yuuri’s feet simply stopped moving.  “Do doctors upset you?” Victor asked.

 

Yuuri shrugged and answered, “Not...really?  I’m just...what can she tell me that I don’t already know?  I’m pregnant.”

 

Victor could see the avoidant traits setting into the other.  “They can make a plan with you on how to care for the two of you as you continue your pregnancy.  Diet, exercise, what to expect will come next,” Victor pointed out. “You’ve lost weight. That can’t be good.”

 

Yuuri nodded, squeezing Victor’s hand for strength.  Taking a deep breath in then out, he walked into the building.  Victor stayed next to him the whole time. A few words exchanged with the receptionist, then a quick lab of blood and urine samples along with his vitals, and soon they were in an exam room.

 

Dr. Ito came in with a warm and cheerful smile.  “I’m so glad you came in right away,” she greeted.  “Is this your alpha?”

 

Yuuri met his eyes and nodded, “This...is Victor.  He’s the father.”

 

“It’s my pleasure,” she greeted, her warmth contagious, helping both patient and alpha to relax in her presence.  “I’m going to take good care of your omega. Now. Let’s see how baby is doing.” She reached into a cabinet and pulled out a soft cotton gown and sheet.  “I know so many doctors that use those paper versions but they are so cold and scratchy. I want you to change into this, leave it open to the front and here’s a sheet to cover up your lower half.”  She stepped out of the room leaving them alone.

 

Yuuri turned to the wall as he started to take off his shirt.  Victor realized what was about to happen and turned the opposite way, giving Yuuri privacy.  “I didn’t know what to say...when she asked. We...haven’t talked about...any of that.”

 

“I know...and...I didn’t want to presume,” Victor replied feeling a lump in his throat.

 

“We’re having a baby together...what does that make us to one another?”  Yuuri moved to the table and settled back, reaching for Victor’s hand to let him know he could turn around.  Victor could see the grateful brown eyes peering back at him.

 

“What...do you want?” he asked, his voice shaking.

 

Yuuri took a deep breath and let it out.  “I want...for us to come to that decision together.  I don’t want it forced on us because of a baby.”

 

“I...want that, too,” Victor answered softly.  “But maybe...I’d be okay with being your alpha.”  He could feel the blush rising in his cheeks.

 

“I...would be okay...being your omega,” Yuuri echoed equally softly.  But then he frowned, his hand going to the back of his neck. “But...I still have this.”  Lifting his eyes, he sighed blinking back tears.

 

Victor glanced towards the door to make sure it stayed shut before focusing on Yuuri.  “I...can’t take that pain of what happened away from you, nor can I erase the memory. But...perhaps you can let me help hold you together...and maybe find your way to the other side.”  Gathering Yuuri up in his arms, he murmured, “Let me be your safe place.”

 

As Yuuri hugged him back, he whispered, “You already are.”

 

A knock on the door brought them back to the present and Yuuri called for her to come in.  The doctor was followed by a nurse that she introduced. The nurse faded to the background, laying out the instruments needed to examine Yuuri.  Flipping open the chart, Dr. Ito was able to see the some of the results of Yuuri’s initial labs, “You, my friend, are most definitely pregnant. Let’s see how you are doing?”

 

He held Victor’s hand and onto his eyes through the discomfort of the exam.  He knew their necessity but they still made him uncomfortable. The doctor kept up cheery conversation throughout the exam and Yuuri found himself opening up to her.  As she finished the internal exam, she pulled the table back together and covered him up. “Now...is there anything else I need to know?”

 

Yuuri held Victor’s eyes and blinked rapidly through the tears but one escaped.

 

“Oh, dear...baby hormones can make us so emotional,” she fussed as she handed him some tissue.

 

“It’s...not that,” Yuuri whispered.  “I...don’t know if it’s relevant.”

 

“Why don’t you tell me and I’ll decide,” she suggested keeping her voice inviting.

 

Yuuri sniffed and nodded.  Sitting up, he was relieved at the feeling of the comforting arm wrapping around him.  “Three weeks...before  _ us _ ...I was running home from the rink and someone grabbed me from behind.  They...forced this mark on me and it caused me to go into heat.” Yuuri’s hand rubbed over the mark before resting it in his lap

 

She pursed her lips and looked up at Victor before focusing on Yuuri.  Taking his hand in hers, she asked gently, “How long until you got away?”

 

“My coach said...three days.  I hadn’t been with anyone before.  I wasn’t on birth control. After the exam, they gave me the morning after pill and told me the bond mark would fade over time as my body rejected it.”  He slid his free hand over the back of his neck and whispered, “It’s still here.”

 

She sighed and Victor could tell she’d dealt with her share of sad stories.  Standing up, she moved to the side and examined the mark. “Did they give you any injections or medication to ease in the rejection?”

 

Yuuri shook his head.  “They said it would only fuck up my hormones further.  I had a competition coming up and…” Glancing up to Victor, he added, “I needed to be there.”

 

“They were correct.  That type of medication is very hard, and it would have messed you up,” she confirmed.  Meeting Victor’s eyes, he could see a myriad of questions forming, then his fear rose as he realized she was answering them herself, understanding the timeline.  Victor mouthed,  _ you can’t tell him _ as he shook his head.  “Without it, these things take time,” she kept her eyes locked on the blue of the alpha standing behind the young man.

 

Both of them felt the relief go through Yuuri’s body.  “I needed to hear that,” he whispered.

 

She sighed and the look she gave Victor told him she wanted to know more.  To Yuuri she said, “Let’s go to the ultrasound room and see if we can catch a glimpse of your baby and figure how far along you are.”

 

Yuuri looked up at Victor and then said, “It would have to have been that night in Sochi...the first week in December.”

 

She did some quick calculations before determining, “So about sixteen weeks.”  Victor could see on the chart as she added a “+3?” after that notation. She met his eyes and Victor nodded.  “Why don’t you get dressed and my nurse will take you down to the ultrasound room? Can I visit with you, Victor, while he dresses?  I need some information for the baby’s medical history.”

 

Victor nodded and followed the doctor out of the room.  She led him to an office she used for consultations and closed the door.  Turning to face him, she pressed, “So what’s the real truth?”

 

Victor’s breath came out of him like it was escaping through a pressure valve.  “I...didn’t sleep with him. I did take care of him that night but I didn’t know about the baby or the bond mark.  Then I came to Japan, and when I found him, he was nestbound and close to drop. I told him what he needed to hear.”

 

She considered her patient and the trauma the omega revealed thoughtfully.  She knew there was much more under the surface. “And your relationship with him?”

 

Victor bit his lip,  _ that’s a good question.   _ “I...want to be his mate.  However, I’m trying to be cautious.  I don’t want him to just accept it as inevitable.  I want it to be his choice.”

 

“You will eventually have to come clean with him.  Do we know anything about the monster who did this to him?”

 

Victor shook his head.  “Yuuri said he grabbed him from behind and the alpha made sure Yuuri never saw him.”

 

She ran her hand through her hair as she studied the charts.  “He’s underweight and the baby has had a poor start. This could cause some developmental problems.  What about after the baby is born?”

 

“I’ll support whatever choice Yuuri makes...but I can raise this child as my own.”  He thought of his fathers and the love they gave him, unconditionally and absolutely.  “I was adopted and I know parents aren’t always blood related.”

 

“If you’re committed to this, my husband can show you how to establish a parental bond with a newborn that is not yours by blood.  Now, for Yuuri.” She looked at his numbers with pursed lips. “I don’t want you to say anything if possible until he’s out of the danger zone.  That won’t be until the third trimester. That’s 28 weeks. Do you think you can maintain that lie for another two and a half months?”

 

“I can do my best,” Victor stated.

 

She studied his face, this was against her better judgment but she could see the real danger in telling her patient the truth, both to him and the fetus he carried.  “This is a gamble but...I think it might be the best track for this patient.”

 

Victor nodded, “The bond mark?”

 

“Since the child is the product of the rape his body’s hormones are keeping it in place...but it’s barely holding on.  He’s pretty much disconnected with the alpha. After birth it will completely disappear if not sooner. I doubt there was a reciprocating bondbite to marry it.  Yuuri shows no signs of a rejected omega.”

 

Victor pursed his lips, thinking of Yuuri suffering with the bite.  “So he’s stuck with it until after the baby is born,” Victor surmised.

 

She shrugged and answered, “Unless you bond over it.  That would override the other especially if Yuuri were to marry it with his own.”

 

“I would only ever want a mate-bond,” Victor clarified.  “But...I don’t think we’re ready yet. I wouldn’t feel right with this lie between us.”

 

She sighed “I think what I told him will hold him over for now.  It wasn’t a lie but I needed to assess his mental state.”

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri rested on the ultrasound table waiting for Victor to join him.   _ What are they talking about?  Victor doesn’t know a lot about me.  He can’t really give her a medical history about me.   _ Then they walked in and the doctor greeted Yuuri once more.

 

She sat in the rolling chair and approaching Yuuri, “There you are.  Ready to see your baby?”

 

Yuuri looked nervously towards Victor.  As he forced himself to lie back, he nodded.  Then he felt Victor’s hand in his and Victor held his eyes for as long as he needed it.

 

The gel added to the device was cold against his skin and he hissed but then his eyes widened in wonder as he heard his baby’s heartbeat for the first time.  “So fast,” Yuuri murmured, fear in his voice.

 

Dr. Ito kept her eyes on the monitors, but a smile met her lips.  “152 beats per minute. Perfectly normal.” Out of the corner of her eye she could see Yuuri relax with the reassurance, and she turned to the technician.  “Now, let’s see what we have here.” On the screen, a small form made its appearance and she smiled. “Well, hello, little one.” Turning to the tech, she asked for measurements.  After a moment, she told Yuuri, “Your baby is about fifteen centimeters at this point.”

 

Yuuri fussed, fidgeting with his sleeve.  “Is that...the right amount? It sounds small...and I was in such bad shape.”

 

Meeting Victor’s eyes she said, “Right on target.  We do want to get you on a steady diet. And prenatal vitamins.”

 

“I...had some over-the-counter vitamins,” Yuuri confessed.

 

She smiled down at him and responded, “That’s a great first step.  You’re blood tests will give us your deficiencies. We can adjust to your specific needs then.”

 

“Is it too soon to know...is it a girl or a boy?”  Brown eyes now watched the screen with interest and Victor had to keep himself still, feeling the thrill to see Yuuri take interest in the baby.

 

She smiled indulgently and turned to the technician.  “Let’s see if we can get some cooperation.” The tech took several pictures and then the baby flipped and stretched and Dr. Ito responded, “There she is.”

 

“A girl…” Yuuri whispered, his fingers going to the screen.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the realness of the baby at hand, Yuuri now had to think about what was best...for himself...and for others around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of emotional turmoil in this one...you've been forewarned. (Sets out tissues, fuzzy blankets, bunny slippers, and chocolate before backing away.)

* * *

 

Victor’s eyes were soft as he watched Yuuri’s reaction to the grainy, black and white image of the little girl slowly forming within him.  It was as if, in that moment, with the sound of her heart filling the room, she became real to him and Yuuri’s disconnect seemed to fall away.  He turned watery eyes to Victor and the older man could see the questions in those eyes. “I don’t know what I want,” he whispered but Victor saw plainly the desperate need for reassurance.

But what could he say to the man.  Victor knew this child was not his but he already felt attached to her as well.  How would he feel if Yuuri decided to give her up? Could he let her go after seeing her, hearing her heartbeat?  And what would they become without her? Would Yuuri let him stay either way?

Swallowing hard, Victor rubbed his thumb over the back of the small hand he held onto, “My Yuuri, I know this is hard but I am here for you...no matter what you choose.”

Yuuri nodded, brown eyes locked on Victor’s face.  He sucked his lip in, chewing on it as those warm eyes moved back to the screen.  “Can I...have her picture?”

The doctor smiled warmly.  “Of course.”

Yuuri walked out holding a printed picture to his chest, he also had several digital images on a flash drive to share electronically when, and if, he was ready.  His expression was contemplative. Every few steps, he’d slow and look at the picture, his fingers tracing down the string of pearls that represented her spine. Victor kept close, eyes on the younger man as the feet slowed to stops frequently.  He could feel the warmth from Yuuri’s body, smell his scent on the breeze, but this moment belonged to Yuuri and he would hang back, not wanting to intrude or influence. This decision belonged to Yuuri.

* * *
    
    
        
    
        
    
    

Once back at the onsen, Yuuri placed the picture of his daughter in a box on his chest of drawers.  This box held his most precious moments, a certificate from his first win in figure skating as a child, his first gold medal in novice, his Junior Worlds gold.  Closing the lid, he crossed the room and crawled under the covers of his nest. The sun was still up...but he needed the quiet of his space. Today had held emotions that he wasn’t sure how to process.  It was impossible to ignore the baby, the little girl, now. He left Victor’s side when they arrived home and the older man let him go, his eyes following Yuuri as he climbed the stairs. Yuuri heard Victor’s melodic voice answering his mother’s inquiries discussing Yuuri’s dietary needs and his mother asking if he’d mind carrying out the trash.

Traditional Japanese architecture had its perks and drawbacks, Yuuri reflected as he listened to the voices downstairs fall away.  His thoughts turned to Victor.  _ He’s already become such a part of this family...but this baby… _

Yuuri pulled off his shirt and stretched out in his bed, his hand running over the small swell of his stomach.

_ You’re real...I can’t unsee you.   I heard your heart beat. I can’t unhear you.  If I hold my hand over you, could I feel it, too?  Can you hear mine? Do you know when I put my hand here, above you? _

He rested his eyes on a poster of Victor hanging on his wall.  

_ You’re papa...he walked away from so much to be here...would he be here if you were not part of the picture?  Is it even right to ask? _

He closed his eyes and felt the tears that freed themselves, sliding down his cheeks.

Speaking out to his lonely room, “I ruined everything.  Your life...your career...what kind of future could you have with me?”

_ This baby ties you here...maybe...if there was no baby, you could let me go.  You could return to your world. _

* * *
    
    
        
    
        
    
    

“Perhaps.”

The question Hiroko had asked was forgotten in a moment.  Victor lost his train of thought, his words slipping from his lips as Yuuri descended the stairs, his hair pushed back, his face freshly washed after a nap.  Yuuri offered him a tentative smile, small and shy, before dropping his brown eyes. Hiroko watched the unfolding scene with a knowing look on her eye before trailing back to the kitchen leaving the two to their own devices.

“How are you?” Victor asked, his eyes studying the smaller form.

Yuuri squeezed himself with his arms and shrugged.  “I...don’t know.”

Victor kept still, afraid to move in and push Yuuri away, but also afraid to seem distant.  “Do you need to eat? Can I get you anything?”

Yuuri shook his head.  Chewing the corner of his mouth, he asked, “Victor...do you...are you planning to skate again?”

Victor turned away and looked out the window.  “I will always skate,” he hedged.

Yuuri huffed at the not-answer.  “That’s not what I mean. I don’t...want to keep you from the ice.”

Victor laughed shakily.  “You have ice here, Yuuri.”  Turning back, he whispered, “You said...I could stay.”

Yuuri kept his eyes from Victor’s face, but he heard the need in the other man’s voice.  “I just...want it to be your choice. I don’t want to hold you back.”

Victor took a step forward, “Yuuri…”

Yuuri stepped back, his eyes wide and shaking his head.  “I...need time.”

Victor watched Yuuri move to the door, pull on his trainers and slip outside.  He didn’t make a move to follow, feeling uninvited. He knew he had misjudged, but he wanted to close the distance between them, and as a result he pushed Yuuri into retreating.  Sighing, he turned and caught Mari’s eyes watching him with suspicion. Shrugging he followed Hiroko into the kitchen.

She looked up smiling warmly from the prepwork in front of her.  “Is Yuuri okay?”

_ Good question.   _ “He left...I don’t think he wanted me with him.”  Victor climbed up onto the barstool and faced Yuuri’s mother over the counter.

She sighed and nodded.  “That’s our Yuuri. He gets things all stuck in his head and shuts himself off to sort it out.”

“I...don’t know if he wants me here,” Victor confessed, wilting.

She looked at him sharply.  “So he’s already pushing you away.  That boy!” Her words faded off into Japanese but he knew the rant.  He’d heard Chris’ grandmother rant similarly. He watched her take out her frustration on the vegetables in front of her, worrying that her emotions would go into the food.   _ We’ll have a brawl at dinner tonight!   _ Finally she shook it off.  She walked back to the table and placed her palms down calmly, “My son...he pushes everyone away.  You have to not let him. Anyone close to him will tell you they all went through similar problems with him.  He...doesn’t think he’s good enough, not for friends, certainly not…” she stopped and Victor could see she had edited her words at the last minute.  “I don’t know what to do about that...but you have to convince him you want this.” She then narrowed her eyes before asking, “You do want this, don’t you?”

He looked down at his hands thinking how to express his answer.  Finally, he looked up and murmured, “I saw the baby...I need to be here.”

“And if it’s not yours?” she asked quietly, her eyes holding his seeming to say more.

Victor could answer easily, “I don’t care...even if there was no baby, I would be chasing after him.  I know  _ this  _ is what I want.”

She grinned and then nodded with approval.  “Then hold fast. He will make you work for him.  He doesn’t give easily.”
    
    
        
    
        
    
    

* * *
    
    
        
    
        
    
    

Yuuri ran, his feet taking him to a solitary beach.  Wading through the tall grass, he found himself walking along the waving line of a fence and, following it, ghosted his hand along the high points.  He could hear the black tailed gulls in the distance, the ebb and flow of the waves, all flooding his ears, overpowering him. His heart beat hard in his chest and he felt the knot forming.  Then the tears flowed even as his hands slid over the swell of his stomach.

_ I wish I could remember you, the way you touched me that night, the care you took of me.  I want to feel that you loved me. I need that certainty. _

Thinking of the way Victor cared for him now, careful not to overstep any boundaries, it didn’t make sense.  How could this man, who respected privacy and distance, have taken… Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through his contacts, hesitating on his coach’s number, but that bitter feeling of rejection was still resting on their relationship.  He scrolled further, resting momentarily on Chris’ number.  _ I don’t really know you.  You are his friend.  _ He settled on Phichit.

A cheery “hello” greeted him.  “Oh, Yuuri! It’s so good to hear from you.  I was beginning to think you dropped off the face of the Earth.”

“I...I’m sorry Phich.  I just…” The sob came loose, unbidden.

Down the line Phichit cradled the phone, staying silent, letting his friend get the emotions out.  Finally as Yuuri began to settle Phichit cooed, “Oh, honey. You tell me all about it.” Phichit’s sincerity reached through the distance and Yuuri could almost feel the embrace from his friend.

He gulped in air, gaining control of himself and focusing on the facts.  “Sh-she’s a girl...and Victor’s here...and I’m so mixed up I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Phichit pulled in a deep breath and let it out.  “I...shouldn’t have told him. I’m so sorry, Yuuri.  I was just so worried about you.”

“I kn-know...I’m not m-mad.  I just...I n-never saw myself as a m-mom.  I can barely t-take care of m-myself,” he sputtered out.  He could feel his nose running, his face was streaked by hot tears.  He tucked his hand into his sleeve and used it as a makeshift handkerchief.

“Yuuri,” Phichit began gently.  “You will be a great mom. You always took care of us...more so than Celestino.  He left you in charge when he had to travel for a reason. He made you my roommate for a reason.”

Yuuri nodded, unseen, thinking of the future he had assumed he would have one day.  “I th-thought...I’d follow in h-his shoes. I d-didn’t see myself with anyone. Th-there was never anyone I wanted.”

Phichit  _ tsked  _ that assumption.  Yuuri could almost hear the arched eyebrow on the other end as Phichit clucked in disagreement.  “You and I both know there has always been one person you wanted.”

Yuuri’s voice dropped to a whisper as he said, “I don’t deserve him.  I’m a mess.”

“Maybe he likes messy,” Phichit suggested.  “I mean...he’s there.”

“Because of the baby,” Yuuri argued.  “I’ve ruined his career, I’ve ruined everything.”

“Now you’re being dramatic,” Phichit pointed out warily.  He had been the one friend that never allowed Yuuri to indulge in the surreality of his fears.  “Victor could skate while you were pregnant and you know that. There is nothing stopping him but himself.  This is his choice. He wants to take this time to be close to you.”

Yuuri held still, listening to Phichit’s words.  “H-he says he wants to be here.”

“Do you have any reason to think he lied?”

Yuuri frowned as he considered everything they’d been through.  “He barely knows me...why would he give everything up for me? I’m just...”

“If you say you’re  _ just Yuuri _ , I’m going to fly over to Japan and kick your ass,” Phichit threatened warmly.

That pulled a giggle out of Yuuri.  “You wouldn’t hit a pregnant omega.”

Phichit huffed.  “No, I wouldn’t. I just don’t like it when my best friend starts putting himself down.  Especially when I know just how wonderful he is.” The Thai man was quiet for a moment before he murmured, “So a girl, huh?”

Yuuri sighed and nodded before answering, “Yes...I’ll text you her picture if you promise not to put it on social media.”

“Of course not!  It’s not like you’ve announced you were pregnant.”  They fell silent while Yuuri sent the picture through.  Only for Yuuri to pull the phone back at Phichit’s squeal.  “Oh, my god! She’s beautiful.”

Yuuri smiled at his overly excitable friend, “You can’t really tell much from that...but I heard her heartbeat.”  Yuuri thought of the room, listening the quick, fluttering beats, the worry he felt, then the relief as he was assured it was a normal, healthy rhythm.  “She’s a real person. Inside me.” He snuck a look at his stomach, a slight bulge poking out.

Phichit cooed a few more times then asked, “So how does that feel?”

“Weird,” Yuuri admitted, and for a moment, being allowed to say that, made this as close to normal as he’d felt in weeks.  “I...never thought about being pregnant. I mean, I knew I could get that way...I just...never considered it.”

Phichit hummed in agreement, then his voice turned thoughtful, “I heard Celestino ranting about abortions and how it’s not fair that a male omega can’t get one.”

Yuuri sighed and felt shame wash over him.  “I...panicked when I found out. I...asked him about when he got his.  And...I may have pushed him...a little.”

The phone was silent for a moment, a rarity when speaking with Phichit.  “Oh, Yuuri…”

Yuuri shrunk into himself a little, feeling the pain he must have caused his coach.  “I feel really bad about it. I fought against him through the entire trip. I...accused him of trying to get rid of me.”

“Oh, Yuuriiii…”

Yuuri squirmed, he knew he had been unkind to Celestino.  But he was hurt. “I know. It wasn’t fair of me.”

Phichit’s voice was warm, forgiving, “I’m sure he understands.  You were hurting and upset. You would have lashed out at any of us.”

Yuuri let Phichit’s words sink in.  They sat silent for a minute, neither wanting to let go.  “So...how’s Thailand?”

“Safer than Detroit!”  Phichit pointed out. “Satsuki said she had problems in one of the clubs.  That alpha privilege. I’m glad to be home, though. I can encourage others to skate and maybe help build the program here.  I just miss my best friend. And Ciao Ciao, too.”

Yuuri shifted his feet in the sand before him, considering how Phichit was still skating long-distance from his coach.  “How are you working with him?”

“He reviews my video and sends his comments back to Satsuki and myself.  He should be able to hit all of my competitions.” Phichit took a beat, he knew Yuuri would understand the importance of the coach’s movements.  “He’s still looking for where he’s going to move his skaters.”

Yuuri listened as he twirled his fingers in the curls that showed up when his hair grew out.  _  I haven’t cut it since I’ve been here.  _  “I miss it.  Skating, getting ready for competition...hanging out with you.”

“I miss you, too, Yuuri,” Phichit said warmly.  “So...what are you going to do?”

Yuuri’s eyes rested on the surf as he considered that question.  “I really don’t know. I don’t know if I will keep her or give her up.  I don’t know if I will return to skating. I don’t know what to do about Victor.  That’s all I seem to say these days, ‘I don’t know’.”

Phichit heard the growing frustration in his friend’s voice.  He had heard it often but never for a reason as important as this.  “Well, whatever you do, make it what  _ you  _ want.  It’s okay to be selfish in this.”

“But...what about her?”  Yuuri’s voice was small, barely picked up by the phone.

Phichit heard the need in his friend, “You didn’t ask for this…”

“No, but Victor…”

Across the distance, unseen by his friend, Phichit knitted his brow.  Pulling back the phone to look confused at it. “Victor isn’t…”

“He said that he is…”  Yuuri interrupted quickly, chewing his lip as he studied the water.  “Why would he lie?”

Phichit’s mouth opened in surprise, not knowing what to say.  “Yuuri…”

“I want...this...all of this...Victor...and...I don’t know if I can let her go,” Yuuri confessed to his friend.  “And it terrifies me. It’s incredibly selfish. Victor walked away from everything. And I’m afraid of letting him in.  Once he sees the ugliness in me, he’ll leave.”

Phichit closed his eyes, “He...hasn’t left yet.”

Yuuri grimaced, looking out at the horizon, “He just got here.”

Phichit knew there was no arguing with Yuuri on this point. He had tried and lost in the past.  They talked of smaller things, music for Phichit’s program, gossip of his hometown until Yuuri disconnected the call shortly after, turning his steps back home.  He worried about Victor leaving. He worried about Victor staying.
    
    
        
    
        
    
    

* * *
    
    
        
    
        
    
    

Victor noticed his quietness but then again, Yuuri had never been very vocal except when he was drunk.  He held fast, keeping Hiroko’s words in his heart. Biding his time, he skated, toying with programs and ideas for the future, maintaining skills and muscle memory.  Every morning, he asked if Yuuri wanted to join him. And every day Yuuri would shake his head and almost run from him. Hiroko would give him an encouraging smile and asked him if he’d like to take a lunch.  Sometimes he said yes. Most of the time, he wanted to be home if only to make sure Yuuri was eating.

Victor worked at the onsen, charming Yuuri’s mother, teasing his sister.  He found peace working with Yuuri’s father, the quiet beta guiding him as he planted the seedlings or gathered the day’s pickings for the kitchen.  He would come back in, his hands brown with soil, grime spread across his forehead from where he wiped his brow. Quickly, the elegance of the Ice Prince fell to the wayside.  He was just Victor now.

Victor had officially withdrawn from his competitions, quietly without calling a press conference.  When he called Yakov to make the arrangements, the old coach told him in clipped, angry answers that he was making a mistake.  Victor knew otherwise. He didn’t know where he was going but he knew he was on the right path.

Georgi was announced as his replacement.  The press pushed to find out what happened to their favorite alpha.  Yakov said he was taking care of personal matters, fortunately the scowl he had worn since the early 70s disguised his rage.  At least the coach gave him privacy even if he didn’t give his approval.

Victor gave Yuuri time, focusing his efforts on the omega’s care, making sure he ate and attended to his appointments without pushing deeper.  Even with all the work he did at the onsen and restaurant, he still had time to contemplate and reflect on his life’s direction. Where would he go now that he has Yuuri?   _ Do I have Yuuri? _

They slept separately.  Yuuri was quite shy around him, often hiding from him.  They shared a floor and bathroom but Yuuri’s reticence created awkwardness in the situation.  However, Yuuri’s parents were encouraging, Hiroko would smile kindly when Victor felt lonely, and Toshiya seemed to always know when he needed to work silently and was there with a task.  He still received suspicious looks from Mari though...of course, because she knew the truth.  _ Maybe she’s waiting for me to get bored and leave. _

When Yuuri was especially elusive, Victor felt completely off balance.   _ Why am I here?  The baby isn’t mine but I want to protect her, protect him.   _ His thoughts circled around but all came to the same conclusion.   _ I can’t leave him. _


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These boys and their communications...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all...it's been a week! But here's another lovely chapter. I hope you like the ties back to canon I slip in from time to time. :)

* * *

 

_ Two weeks. _  Yuuri had dodged him for two weeks and Victor was feeling more than a little frustrated.  He felt lost. He had talked to Hiroko while he washed dishes and between bussed tables. She continued to encourage him but as soon as he left her presence, he felt his patience dissipate.  Toshiya informed him that Yuuri did things in his own time as Victor held a wrench while the old man tightened a nut on a pump. Mari simply smirked and handed him a load of laundry.

 

He found himself escaping, exploring the town, taking long walks, visiting the rink.  He discovered a Ninja castle only to learn that the term  _ castle  _ was used loosely.  He visited with the fisherman that sold him fish for Hiroko.  He discovered the ceramics shops that held area artisans’ works.  He shopped, finding random trinkets and filling the needs for his space.  Hiroko told him to make it his but keep in mind the space.

 

His steps often took him to the rink.  Yuuko was a friendly ally and she laughed off his concerns.  People who had known Yuuri all their lives were very familiar with this aspect of his personality.  “Yuuri will come around. He’s just working it out in his thoughts.”

 

“It...seems so straight forward,” Victor protested.

 

“To a normal person, it is...but to Yuuri, his anxiety will invent problems that seem insurmountable at first.”  Yuuko shrugged from the barrier, watching the man on the ice work through footwork routines. “He has always stepped back when he was sorting things out.  It would probably be managed sooner if he talked to you about it...but then, there’s his anxiety.”

 

Victor frowned, gliding over to the barrier, “I can wait...I just don’t know where we stand.  How does he actually sees us…”

 

She laughed at him again, the mystique of  _ The Victor Nikiforov _ having worn off and leaving behind  _ just Victor _ whom she found much better.  “Oh, if you want him to put a label on it, you might be barking up the wrong tree.”

 

Victor sighed unhappily.

 

Yuuko saw defeat in the man’s face and knew that she had to help him steele himself.  “Yuuri...he is just different. He feels things deeply but he holds back from the world.  Takeshi and I...we looked out for him a lot. If it was just us, he was great. But with more people…”

 

Victor shook his head, “But he went to Detroit on his own…”

 

Yuuko raised her eyebrows and tilted her head, “Yeah, that was a fight from the beginning.  The other side of Yuuri is that he is stubborn as hell. He was determined. The coach...Celestino...he came and spoke with Yuuri’s parents.  He was a strong omega and he was able to put them at ease. They were still worried, though. But Yuuri went...and he thrived. He worked and pushed...and he was finally ranked and recognized.”  She narrowed her eyes, as if understanding her friend all the better for having to explain him. “And...Yuuri wants to be seen as strong. He  _ is  _ strong.  But right now...he’s scared.”

 

“Of me?”

 

“Of everything...his whole world fell apart and he hasn’t figured out how to pick up the pieces...what pieces he wants to hold onto.”  She shrugged. “Yuuri will weigh it out and weigh it out again. And he’s thinking of you, too. I can promise you. He’s worrying about being a burden, of pulling you away from the world.”

 

“I want to be here...I chose this.”

 

* * *

  
  


Leaving, he spotted Yuuri headed into the ballet studio.  He wanted to follow but didn’t want to intrude, glad to see Yuuri doing things independently.  Instead, Victor turned and went into town finding a raman shop. He was lost in thought sitting behind a cooling bowl of broth and noodles when a shadow crossed his table.  He looked up and spotted Yuuko’s husband. “Hello, Takeshi. Have a seat.”

 

The large man smiled warmly and took the seat opposite, “I hear you’re trying to figure out Yuuri.”

 

Victor frowned but then nodded.  “I want to be patient and give him the time he needs...but he’s avoiding me.  I’m worried he doesn’t want me here.”

 

Takeshi clapped him on the shoulder chuckling.  “That’s just Yuuri. He runs and hides when he’s scared.”  The friendly face, slowly faded and Takeshi’s countenance grew darker, more serious.  “He’s got a lot to be scared of these days. Do you know anything about the bastard that did this to him?”

 

Victor blinked, not sure how to answer.   _ Am I ‘the bastard’ to you?   _ “I...umm…”

 

The younger man shook his head to stop his words.  “Yuuko figured you out pretty much right away. We assumed you just told Yuuri what he needed to hear.  You’re a lousy liar, by the way...so something in Yuuri has to want to believe it.”

 

“I hate lying,” Victor muttered.

 

Takeshi grinned even as he accepted his own raman order.  “I’m glad to hear that. I’ve been looking out for Yuuri since he was small.  I may have picked on him but nobody else was allowed.”

 

“Like a big brother,” Victor surmised.

 

“Heh!  Exactly!”  It was clear to Victor that Takeshi was a naturally cheerful person, however that disposition darkened eerily as he leaned in across the table.  “So what do you know?”

 

Victor sighed and reflected back on the information he learned along the way.  “I don’t think they ever found the guy who did this. And it sounded like there wasn’t much of an investigation.  His university chose to hush it up to avoid the bad press. However, there have been two more incidents, but with different DNA.  I found that researching, two of the victims came forward, and the university did release a statement. However, the way they hushed Yuuri makes me think there is a much larger problem.  I don’t know if Yuuri knows it...I think it would be best if he doesn’t. It could be a group, or a gang, something like that. Yuuri’s coach sent all of his omega skaters elsewhere while he looks for another rink.  Phichit’s in Thailand. I’m just glad Yuuri’s here.”

 

“Me, too.”  He finished his noodles then grinned at Victor.  “Trust me, Nikiforov, if Yuuri didn’t want you here, he’d have sent you packing.  So hold strong.”

 

* * *

  
  


Victor returned to the rink with Takeshi, each splitting off to their own tasks.  Victor had a lot on his mind as he skated through a program marking jumps and spins.  He let his thoughts drift.  _ Agape _ .   _ Unconditional love. Selfless love.  _  He smiled sadly as he considered the man that inspired it.  He could already hear the music in his thoughts and knew he’d have to call his composer to bring it to life.

 

_ My beautiful Yuuri...I know it’s hard for you to believe in me.  So much was taken from you at once. What can I offer but my very soul, unconditionally, for you to take what you need?  I don’t even know how you see us. You are so out of reach right now. Every part of you is so caught up in your own pain.  What must you think of me...and I swore I’d bear the pain...bear the shame. _

 

_ I want you to know the truth...you don’t know how this tears at my heart, this lie between us.  I can’t help but think it feeds into the distrust you feel towards me...not distrust, but mixed trust.  You know I betrayed you but it was nothing like the betrayal of your rapist, of how your own body was forced to betray you. _

 

Lowering into a sit spin, Victor felt the swirl of the lie, the tearing motion of Yuuri at war with his instincts, his body, his own mind.  He grabbed his head, tucking his foot, spinning wildly. Then slowly rose, stretching out to slow the rotations as he leaned into a layback spin, chest open and exposed.   _ But I didn’t betray you...except in the lie.  I only ever cared for you, watched over you, protected you. _

 

He stilled in a slow stop, arms raised above his head, hands clasped as a desperate prayer.   _ Can Agape exist in a lie?  Can our love survive the lie? _

 

* * *

  
  


Victor left his ice training and decided to jog along the beachfront road, needing to work off the worry he felt after his program.  His thoughts were taken up with Yuuri as they always were these days. Yuuri’s quiet pulled on his heart and he worried about where he fit with Yuuri, what Yuuri wanted out of a relationship, and he even wondered if the ravenette wanted Victor.  As he felt the ocean breeze and heard the welcoming sound of the seagulls, he slowed his steps. He ran his eyes along the sand when he spied two dogs playing in the surf, and up the slope, a solitary figure watched them as they frolicked with one another.

 

Makka spotted him and started bounding in his direction causing Yuuri to turn to look his way.  The brown eyes lifted up to meet his and Victor worried he was trespassing on Yuuri’s space when the younger man shifted his form and patted the sand next to him.  Victor hesitated but then strode over to Yuuri’s side and dropped down to his knees on the indicated space. Yuuri returned his hands to their original position, wrapped around his knees, and watched the sun set the sky on fire.  Victor gave both dogs a rub down and then sent them back off down the beach.

 

“This is a nice place,” Victor began cautiously.

 

Yuuri mumbled from between his knees, “I like the quiet…it makes it easier to sort out my thoughts.”

 

He sat and waited, but the silence continued until Victor felt compelled to ask what was worrying him.  Yuuri did, after all, invite him over. Staring at the ocean, the golds caught on the crest of the waves fading into purple then deep blue overtaking it and pulling it into the shadows.  “What am I to you, Yuuri?”

 

The younger man looked his direction, listening thoughtfully.  Victor continued. “Do you want me as a friend?”

 

Yuuri sighed and turned back to the water.  “That’s not it…”

 

“Maybe boyfriend, or lover?”

 

Yuuri groaned, shaking his head.

 

Victor blushed at the question but had to ask, “I don’t think...we’re to mate.  Not...yet?”

 

Yuuri sighed, and Victor could see him puzzling it out.  Finally, he turned and stated, “I just...I want you to be yourself.”

 

Victor frowned at the cryptic answer not sure what to do with it.

 

But Yuuri was feeling generous and continued, “I...always looked up to you...your skating pushed me to improve my skating but it was more than that.  It wasn’t just your skating, it was you. You always...seemed kind. I wanted to meet you...that’s why it was so important to be at Sochi. For us to meet on equal footing.”  Yuuri turned away and looked at the ocean tightening his arms around his knees. “I messed that up but...I still met you. And even though I don’t remember any of that, I know I feel safe in your presence.  I don’t...want to lose that.”

 

Victor’s lips were parted as he rested his finger on his lips thoughtfully.  He knew he was looked up to by younger skaters, that his own climb to the top of their sport drove them.  He always actively encouraged them and constantly had a hand out to pull someone up. He didn’t realize that one day that someone would be the one he sought for a mate.

 

Yuuri let go of his knees and butterflied them out, playing with his fingers as his elbows rested on his thighs.  “I also don’t want you to stay by my side out of a sense of obligation.” He ran his hand over the baby bump. “So the best answer is...I want you to be yourself...and let whatever this is,” he motioned between the two of them, “...our relationship, I guess...let it define itself.”

 

Victor blinked in surprise but he had to agree.  It really was the best answer. He barely knew Yuuri.  Yuuri barely knew him. “I...agree.”

 

Yuuri reached out a hand, tentative, trembling.  Victor watched it settle over his even as the older man shifted onto his hip.  “I know I’m shy...quiet...hard to get to know. It’s...part of who I am and not just what happened to me.  It...takes me a while to get there.”

 

Victor tapped his lip thoughtfully before he answered, “I want you to be true to yourself as well...if it takes you awhile, I’ll wait.  I want to know you, too.”

 

Yuuri picked up a rock he dug out of the sand and tossed it across the beach watching the dogs go to investigate it.  “This is fucking backwards, you know.”

 

Victor smiled at the use of the explicative, “What...figuring this out while a baby is on the way?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I don’t know what I wanted but...I think I wanted to be mated before I had a baby.”  He fell back on the sand and stared up at the sky. Victor leaned into his field of vision, and the brown eyes grazed over the elegantly cut face.  He reached down and poked the pudge on his tummy. “I get fat, you know...if I’m not careful. I don’t guess it matters right now. Baby is determined to make me fat.”

 

Victor chewed his lip for a moment, his eyes roaming to where Yuuri’s hand fell.  “I...like a little softness.” He reached a hand out tentatively then pulled back.  Yuuri huffed and grabbed the hand settling it over his stomach. Victor gasped at the sudden contact, but quickly settled into the touch, feeling the soft skin beneath the fabric, the way it gave to his touch.  “Can you feel her yet?”

 

“Maybe...I can’t tell if it’s her or the butterflies in my stomach.”  He held Victor’s eyes, his expression bare and whispered, “I’m scared.  I don’t know how to do this.”

 

“You don’t have to do this alone,” Victor murmured.

 

Yuuri caught Victor’s eyes, “I keep waiting for you to leave...it’s hard to believe you’ll stay.”

 

“I want to be here.  I will see this through, Yuuri, unless you send me away.”  His eyes begged  _ don’t send me away. _

 

“I...don’t want you to go.”

 

Victor knew it all must seem backwards to those watching them, family and friends.  Falling in love with a baby on the way. Maybe it seemed that way to Yuuri as well. But as Victor’s hand moved over Yuuri’s stomach, hoping to catch a flutter, Victor knew the truth...he had already fallen for him.  He had fallen for them both.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late night struggles...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning! I hope you like today's chapter. Victor is a real softie when it comes to Yuuri.

* * *

 

* * *

Victor heard the knock on his door that night and rose to see Yuuri sliding back the door and blinking at him unsure.  “You don’t have to ask,” Victor invited in a soft tone as he pulled back the thin quilt. Yuuri shifted from one foot to the other but when the dogs jumped into the oversized bed and made themselves at home he shuffled in, following them.

 

Yuuri hadn’t been in Victor’s room since he had ordered the furniture.  He had hoped Yuuri would have helped pick out the furniture with him but Yuuri hid himself away.  So, armed with the measurements of the room, he went to a local furniture store. The saleswoman asked him what style did he prefer.  He realized that the pieces in his apartment were mainly put in for photoshoots from sponsors, nothing of his own personality. Victor shrugged and told her in Russia, his apartment was modern...and cold.  He wanted warmth. Softness. Something to make his pregnant omega feel comfortable. He returned with an oversized bed, a roomy chair and a soft, small sofa. He found a desk in the attic and a small chest tucked away in the attached storage room.  Setting up the room, he took the chest and placed it between the chair and sofa, using it to store away some of his memories, leftovers from another life.

 

The entire wall across from the storage room was lined with doors that opened to closets and shelves cluttered with various bric-a-brac and old table cloths.  Victor had weeded through the pieces he found there, seeking Hiroko or Toshiya if he wasn’t sure if they belonged in the attic and sometimes receiving cries of triumph as Hiroko declared, “I was wondering where that was at!”  He knew more things would find their way into the room but in his heart, he hoped Yuuri would bring them, leaving his mark. Putting his clothes away, he frowned when he opened a box only to find a bust. “I thought I got rid of that.”  Sighing, he settled it into the corner until he decided what to do with it.

 

Victor’s thoughts left the memory and came back to the present as he saw Yuuri stand beside the bed, unsure of his place.  Victor didn’t need to smell Yuuri’s troubled scent. His shifting movements gave him away. “You’ve slept next to me before.  I won’t hurt you.”

 

“I’m...not scared of you.”  Yuuri’s hands picked at the sheet, being held open by Victor, moving towards then pulling back.  “I’m scared of my dreams...and I can...still feel him.” Yuuri’s breathing hitched and Victor finally felt Yuuri crumple in his fear as he guided the younger man to settle into the bed.  “I...just want it to go away. I want to move forward.” His hand fidgeted to the back of his neck. “Why is this still here?”

 

Victor was thankful for the low light in the room, Yuuri was unable to see his face.  “Oh, Yuuri...the doctor...she said it would go in time.”

 

“But I’ve had time.  I want it gone. I want...to move forward.”  Yuuri voice was a mixture of sorrow and frustration.

 

Victor slid his hand up and down Yuuri’s back willing his touch to give Yuuri the comfort he needed.  “I want that, too...for your sake. I want...to see you smile, laugh even...and it not be a rare gift but for it to be normal for you.  And I want you to feel all the love you are being offered.”

 

“I...know.”  Yuuri inhaled the scent from the sheets, pulling comfort from them.  “Everyone. It’s all been there...but...I have a hard time...loving myself.”

 

Victor then wrapped Yuuri in his arms, the younger man’s head resting against his chest.  “Let me love you...until you are ready to love yourself.”

 

Yuuri’s voice was small against his body, his breath cutting through the thin tee shirt and feeling warm on Victor’s skin.  “Why? Why would you do that when I have so little to offer you?”

 

Victor’s smile was soft and bittersweet against Yuuri’s hair, finding comfort in knowing he wouldn’t see the sadness in it.  “Because sometimes that’s how love works. Do you think my fathers expected me to give them something in return? I was penniless, abandoned with just a ragged bunny and a letter written by my mother.  But they loved me...and in time, I learned how to love myself, and them in turn. So...while you are learning to love yourself...I will love you.”

 

Yuuri’s tears were falling freely now and the small body shook in his arms.  Victor rested his cheek against him and held onto him, giving over his strength.  As Yuuri finally settled, he tucked the blanket around him before slipping from the bed.  He opened the trunk he had commandeered for storage and lifted out his treasure. Smoothing the well worn fabric, he smiled sadly to himself.  He had so little from his mother. Walking across the room, he pulled the blanket back and tucked the bunny into Yuuri’s arm. “Hold onto this...his name is Patches...and he watched over me throughout my childhood.”

 

Yuuri sniffed, his fingers tracing over the repairs, some done by clumsy childlike fingers, some by a tighter, more sure hand of an adult.  The bunny was worn and loved. “He...reminds me of the Velveteen Rabbit,” Yuuri whispered.

 

Victor smiled, thinking of the book he hadn’t read since childhood.  “Perhaps...I think every child needs a friend to carry them through.”

 

Yuuri pulled the bunny to his nose and breathed in the well ingrained scent.  “Your childhood smells happy.”

 

Victor pulled Yuuri to his chest settling him in his arms.  “It was happy. I was lost when they went away. That’s when I got Makkachin.  There has always been someone to pick me up when I fell. I...want to be that person for you.”

 

“I can’t make any promises,” Yuuri murmured even as he pressed his nose in the bunny once more.

 

“I ask none,” Victor returned soothing Yuuri with the rhythmic stroke up and down his back.

 

* * *

  
  


Victor woke as Yuuri pulled away the next morning and watched as the younger man settled the bunny into the chair before slipping out the door.  Yawning, he rolled out of bed and reached for his phone.  _ Chris. _

 

During the night, Chris had spammed him, filling his inbox with pictures of the ultrasound and more of himself and his mate, Lawrie.

 

**Chris/ We appear to be expecting a boy.**

 

**Chris/ I can’t wait.  Lawrie’s beside himself with happiness.**

 

**Chris/ How are you and Yuuri?**

 

Victor rested his eyes on the bunny as he considered his words.

 

**Victor/ We’ve been busy.  I never realized how much work went into owning a business.**

 

**Chris/ You’re going to have to tell me more.  You bought a business?**

 

**Victor/ No no no...I’ve been helping Yuuri’s parents in the family business.**

 

**Chris/ You’re not skating?**

 

**Victor/ I still skate...I can’t totally let it go.  But I’ve withdrawn for the year. I need to focus on Yuuri.**

 

**Chris/ But baby will be born before the season even starts.  You can step out of the Grand Prix, but the rest?**

 

**Victor/ I know...but it’s complicated.  Yuuri...he’s still having nightmares. He doesn’t know if he wants to keep the baby.**

 

**Chris/ So he’s figured out you’re not the father.**

 

Victor grimaced at his phone.  He worried about that more and more with each passing day.  Yuuri’s concern about the bond bite’s inability to fade, his reticence around him.  The young man certainly had suspicions, but he wasn’t vocalizing them to Victor. Nor to himself.

 

**Victor/ I can definitely say part of him is still in denial about that...but I can’t help but think a part of him has to know.**

 

There was a pause and Victor sighed, putting down his phone and setting his room to rights.  A buzz drew his attention

 

**Chris/ You’ve got to tell him.**

 

**Victor/ I know.  I don’t want to hurt him.  He’s been through so much.**

 

**Chris/ Is he keeping the baby?**

 

**Victor/ I don’t think he’s decided.**

 

**Chris/ It’s got to be hard.**

 

**Victor/ You can’t imagine...I love them both...and I could lose them both in an instant.**

 

Victor stopped typing thinking of the young man who had crept out of his room only moments ago.  They shared a small community, yet somehow had never met. Smiling he thought of the open, engaging man who had danced him off his feet at the banquet.

 

**Victor/ And Yuuri...he’s so amazing.  Chris, how did I not meet him sooner?**

 

**Chris/ He’s so shy and sweet.  If I had the opportunity, I would have introduced you both sooner.**

 

**Victor/ Well, I’m here now...and I plan to see this through.  Hopefully Yuuri will want me in the end.**

 

**Chris/ I hope so, too, for both of your sakes.**

 

Victor smiled sadly at his phone.  Taking a deep breath, he decided to leave on a positive note.

 

**Victor/ Congratulations on your news.  Give Lawrie my love.**

 

**Chris/ I will.  We’ve been reading What to Expect When Expecting.  It really helps us to understand what’s going on.**

 

Victor chuckled at the backhanded offer of help.

 

**Victor/ Thanks.  I’ll take that into consideration.**

 

* * *

  
  


By that evening, he had the omega edition of the recommended book downloaded into his iPad.  Yuuri curled up next to him on the small sofa, Vicchan in his lap, Makka stretched out in the floor by Victor’s feet.  Yuuri’s were tucked underneath him, as they flipped through the book. “Is that how my baby looks in me?” Yuuri asked as he touched the picture and then his tummy.  “Oh, you’re a couple of weeks off.”

 

Victor chuckled, missing the alarm in Yuuri’s voice and answered, “Well, it is called  _ What to Expect _ , so shouldn’t I be a few weeks head?”

 

He then smelled the distress in Yuuri’s scent, and snapped his head to face the younger man.  Yuuri was frowning and Victor saw plainly how upset he was becoming. “You...think it’s his. You don’t want this baby.”  He pulled away, his hands slapping at Victor’s in upset as the other man reached to comfort him. “You don’t want me.”

 

Victor was up and following Yuuri across the room.  “Yuuri...Yuuri…”

 

Stopping, Yuuri’s eyes dropped to the floor and he put his hand out to hold Victor back.  The older man stilled, remembering Toshiya’s words.  _ With Yuuri, we must always wait. _

 

He kept his distance, speaking softly, “I’m here when you’re ready, my Yuuri.  But trust me...I do want you. More than anything, I want you...and our baby girl.”  He remained still keeping his stance open. Yuuri slowly lifted his eyes and Victor could see the tears and the pain.  “Come back to me, Yuuri. Please.”

 

Yuuri slowly uncoiled and returned to his arms.  The tears fell hot but Victor held him close bearing Yuuri’s pain and sharing his strength.  As he led Yuuri back to the sofa, he reached over and snagged the bunny that sat watching the entire incident.  Yuuri wrapped an arm around it and let Victor return him to his side. They remained still, not sure what to do next.  Victor not wanting to make a mistake. Yuuri still fighting his anxiety.

 

Reaching for his iPad, Victor pulled up a different  [ book ](http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/williams/rabbit/rabbit.html) .  He began to read aloud, just as his fathers did for him, as he did for Yura when he first came to the rink, as he hoped to do for their daughter.  “There was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid…” As the words slipped from his tongue, he could feel Yuuri’s attentiveness and knew he was listening and slowly, he calmed in his arms.  “But he never knew it really was his own Bunny, come back to look at the child who had first helped him to be Real.”

 

They were quiet and Yuuri stayed still in his arms as he processed the story.  “You...helped me that night. I was afraid, and you took care of me.”

 

Victor nodded against his head and pressed a kiss into the raven locks.  “There was an alpha going into rut. I don’t think he threatened you but you were afraid.”

 

Yuuri nodded, pieces of that night falling into place, but there were still too many holes.  “Because...of what happened. You...made me feel safe. Why?”

 

Victor rubbed a tuft of the black hair, sticking straight up.  “Because you were hurting and I couldn’t  _ not  _ help you, Yuuri.”

 

“And now?  Are you here because I’m hurting?”

 

Something had crept into Yuuri’s voice, giving Victor pause.  He chose his words carefully, realizing that the man in his arms would assume he was being pitied, and wouldn’t tolerate that.  “I’m here because I care, because you awakened something in me. I can’t ignore it, nor do I want to.”

 

“I’m sorry…” he whispered after a time.

 

“Why are you sorry, Yuuri?”

 

Yuuri took a deep breath and let it out.  “I can’t help it...the thoughts crowd in and I try to ignore them.  But sometimes, it’s hard and...I start to believe them. He...he kept telling me I was his omega whore.  Why? Why did he do that to me? Why did he think he could take me like that?”

 

Victor closed his eyes.  _  I can endure this because you endured so much more.  I will be your strength. _  Quelling the emotions threatening to rise within him, he focused on Yuuri.  “I cannot fathom why anyone thinks it is okay to simply take whatever they want, let alone cause harm to another.  You weren’t targeted for being weak, or easy prey. The monster that did this picked you at random. You...were at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

 

“He...didn’t believe me human.  To him, I was not...Real. Will you...help me to be Real once more?”

 

Looking down at the bunny clutched in Yuuri’s arms, he asked in a high voice, “What do you think, Patches?  Do you think Yuuri can feel Real once more?”

 

Yuuri couldn’t help the smile that peeked out.

 

Encouraged by the smile, Victor continued to play.  “See, it’s working already. Look at that smile. Yura would have rolled his eyes at me and called me an old man.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes took on that spark he had when he thought of the skating world.  “Yura? Is that what you call him?”

 

“Yes...in Russia, those closest to us use our diminutive.  And by that token, you should be calling me Vitya,” he declared even as he tweaked Yuuri’s nose.

 

“Vitya,” he tested out on his tongue and Victor could feel the thrill that went through him at the familiarity.  “What...would you call me?”

 

Victor frowned as he thought about it.  “Well, I could also call you Yuura but that would be confusing.  And...well, what would I call you from a Japanese perspective?”

 

Yuuri laughed softly.  “Yuuri is familiar. Most would call me by my last name...but after being out of Japan and in America, I’m used to a culture in which people use it with ease.  I called Yuuko-chan, Yuu-chan when we were younger. We are close...but that’s a cute name.”

 

Victor thought he wouldn’t mind a cute name for Yuuri, since Yuuri was so very cute.  But he knew the man didn’t want to be treated as a child. “Maybe I can call you  _ my Yuuri _ ...somewhere in between.  I want you to know I want you to be mine.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes misted as he heard Victor’s words.  “I...think you’ve already called me that a couple of times.”

 

Victor smiled down at Yuuri in his arms, “It’s...probably slipped out.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Another night and another nightmare brought Yuuri to his room.  Victor knew to expect them. It wasn’t unusual with Yuuri’s hormone changes but with the added trauma, Yuuri padded once more into his room.  This night Makkachin had slept with Victor and as Yuuri crawled into bed, he accidentally stepped on the older poodle. Yuuri gasped as the dog yelped, more from shock than discomfort, and then immediately burst into tears.

 

“I’m sorry...I’m so sorry, Makkachin.  Vitya, I...hurt..Makka.” His words were coming out in hiccups as Yuuri fought his tears and Victor was hit with an onslaught of confused pheromone signals.

 

_ Fear.  Distress.  Anxiety (finally worked that one out).  Alarm. And something...bitter. _

 

Makkachin was in Yuuri’s arms licking his tears, forgiveness coming quick in the wake of his upset human.  Vicchan was whining, his stubby legs not quite giving him the bounce he needed. Victor reached over Yuuri and lifted up the smaller poodle placing him into the bed and watching as the little dog immediately helped Makka comfort Yuuri.   _ I may have to put together a ramp for this one. _  With the noise, he was sure the rest of the house had woken, which was soon confirmed as the steps creaked on the stairs.

 

Three heads peeked into the door that was left ajar from Yuuri’s entrance, something Yuuri preferred when he came into their room in the middle of the night.  “Is everything okay, Victor?” Hiroko asked, her voice hushed.

 

Sighing, he had one hand moving up Yuuri’s back trying to sooth him and another trying to hold back an anxious and concerned oversized dog.  “Bad dream and a poodle underfoot.”

 

“I see.”  She pulled the others back in the hall and shooed them off, Toshiya going without protest, Mari putting up a fuss.  “Just go, Mari. Yuuri’s a grown man. I’m sure he can handle himself.” With a huff, she returned to the door. “How about I bring up some tea, Victor?”

 

Victor nodded as he continued to work towards settling Yuuri.  “Will you let me release pheromones to calm you?”

 

Yuuri continued to cry through his hiccups but nodded.  As the soothing scent settled around Yuuri, his eyes drooped and Victor wondered if he should call Hiroko back and cancel the tea.

 

Ten minutes later, Hiroko sat on the side of the bed, a cup of tea in each of their hands as Yuuri’s tears had finally subsided.  “It’s amazing what a cup of tea will do to soothe the spirit.”

 

“I think Yuuri is better now,” Victor murmured, leaning his cheek onto the raven head.

 

“Oh, I wasn’t talking about Yuuri,” she corrected.  “There is nothing more upsetting than seeing our mate come undone.”  She reached out to run her hand through her son’s hair. “I suspect you will have many cups of tea with this one...but he is worth it.”

 

“I..know.”  Victor felt his own eyes mist at the word mate feeling the family’s acceptance of him in that one word.  “I will take care of him.”

 

Hiroko looked from her sleeping son to the man she trusted, “I know you will, Victor.  You are a good man.”

 

He smiled, a blush finding its way up to his cheeks under her sincere praise.  “I want to be.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor is jealous...of Makkachin. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe we passed the half way point in this story?

* * *

 

Victor watched the sleeping form next to him.  Hiroko’s words still rested with him.  _ Mate _ .  They might be an unconventional couple but it rang true.   _ Do you think of me as your mate, my Yuuri?  I think of you as mine. _

 

_ That night in Sochi, did I know you would be mine?  You fit so well in my arms, the way you turned into me much as you do now.  I’ve handled you so carefully. _

 

_ I’m still handling you so carefully.  I don’t want to upset you. You’ve been through so much. _

 

Victor’s fingers carded through Yuuri’s hair.   _ You are so beautiful, my Yuuri.  I don’t tell you that enough. I should tell you more. _

 

Yuuri snuggled into him.  In his sleep, he mumbled softly.  “Vitya…”

 

_ Let it be good dreams with me.  Don’t let me be a part of your nightmare. _

 

“Love you…”

 

Victor’s breath caught, his eyes misted even as he nuzzled into Yuuri’s raven hair.  “I love you, too, my Yuuri,” he murmured back. “I love you, too.” He pressed a kiss into Yuuri’s hair, resting his jaw against him.  Closing his eyes, he finally felt himself relax back into sleep.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Over the next few days, Makkachin took to sleeping with Yuuri in his nest, comforting him during his bad dreams.  Victor grumbled waking up with empty arms. The silver haired man glared at his poodle as she pranced out of Yuuri’s room every morning, pretty as she pleased.  Yuuri followed, his hair askew, rubbing his eyes, his glasses hanging over the collar of his t-shirt. Victor took in the charming sight, just when he thought Yuuri couldn’t possibly be cuter he would yawn and stretch and Victor’s heart swelled with love.  He didn’t notice the goofy adoring look on his face, nor did he understand that Yuuri’s sight wasn’t  _ that _ bad.  The smaller man stopped in the hall, considering him.  Rubbing his hand over his neck, he looked up at Victor’s blurry form.

 

“Vitya?”  Yuuri’s voice was silky with sleep.

 

Victor soared at the use of the familiar, he took stepped forward, “Yes, my Yuuri.”

 

“I think...I’m going to be sick.”  And then Yuuri rushed past him and into the bathroom.  Victor clucked his tongue.  _ Baby can kill a moment.   _ When Yuuri emerged, he looked Victor dead in the eyes.  “I hate that cologne. Get rid of it.”

 

_ It’s my favorite.  Everyone loves this cologne.   _ Victor’s lips parted in surprise as Yuuri passed him on his way to his room.  Calling after Yuuri, “But you never minded it before…”

 

“Burn it,” Yuuri called back at him before he closed his door.  Firmly.

 

Huffing, Victor took his turn in the bathroom careful not to lock the door in case Yuuri wasn’t finished.  “This is somehow Makkachin’s fault. She’s poisoned my Yuuri against me.” His hands were not gentle as he lathered his hair and washed his body.  “Stupid poodle.” He jerked his clothes on with a vengeance and finally exited the bathroom. Yuuri was leaning against the opposite wall with a raised eyebrow.  Victor stopped at the sight of those brown eyes taking him in. “How much did you hear?”

 

Looking at his nails, Yuuri shrugged.  “Something about stupid poodle…” He then lifted his eyes up to meet Victors and added, “I know you wouldn’t be talking about  _ our  _ poodles like that.”

 

Yuuri then brushed past him and into the shower.  Victor was halfway down the stairs when he realized Yuuri called the dogs  _ our poodles _ .  He could almost forgive Makkachin’s betrayal.

 

Downstairs, he ate quickly and was heading out the door as Yuuri came down the stairs.  “Early day?”

 

“Takeshi asked for my help this morning at the rink,” he called over his shoulder.  And then he was out, jogging towards Ice Castle. It was Saturday and Takeshi asked Victor if he’d help with a birthday party informing him it would be good practice for when he was a parent.  That meant he needed to get his own skating in early.

 

The rink manager had just finished smoothing out the ice when Victor unlocked the door and entered the lobby, careful to lock it back.  Yuuko was stuck dealing with the triplets in the early morning and hadn’t arrived yet. Takeshi came out and grinned at Victor. “How’s it going?”

 

“My own dog has betrayed me and usurped my place with Yuuri,” Victor complained.

 

Takeshi chuckled.  “It can’t be that bad.”

 

Victor pouted,  _ it is that bad.   _ “Yuuri doesn’t come to me anymore because Makkachin seems to be good enough.  Is it asking too much to want my omega to sleep with me?”

 

Takeshi held his eyes and then turned to duck down below the counter.  Victor could hear him straightening things up. “Your omega, huh? Has he invited you into his nest?”

 

“N-no,” Victor confessed, his face turning pink.

 

Standing up, Takeshi gave him a shrug.  “All omegas are different. I remember making midnight runs for ice cream with Yuuko.”

 

Victor’s voice turned wistful, “I’d love to make midnight runs for Yuuri...I just want to...be there for him.”

 

Takeshi looked at him thoughtfully, “And...aren’t you?”

 

Victor thought of the support he had been offering, the help around the onsen, “Well, yes…”

 

Takeshi’s eyes softened.  “Yuuri will be hot and cold with you.  He was like that with our friendship.”

 

“You bullied him!”

 

Takeshi laughed.  “Heh! I guess I did.  Only like a big brother.  The point is that you have to respect the retreat.  If he backs off, he needs the space. He has to work through so much...things that we don’t even think about are big processes for him.”

 

Victor sighed, resigned.  “So...I have to just wait.”

 

“Always will with Yuuri.”  Takeshi’s lips curled into a knowing smile.

 

And with the same advice as he heard from both Hiroko and Toshiya, Victor was left standing in the lobby as Takeshi disappeared to continue preparing for the day.  With a huff, Victor retreated to the ice.

 

After a good stretch, Victor warmed up on the ice and then moved into his last season’s programs.   _ Stammi Vicino _ flowed through him and as he closed up the program, he realized he was calling out for his mate from its inception.  Even when first putting together the program, he had known he was lonely.

 

He stilled for a moment, eyes closed.  _  I have a new song, a new message for my Yuuri.  _  His movements then led him through his new program,  _ Agape.  God’s infinite love.  Self-sacrificing. Uncalculating.  I need to let go of all of my agendas.  I have to put Yuuri first even if I’m nowhere in the equation.  How can I love you and let go of the expectation of love in return?  My love is meant to be unconditional, meant only for you. _

 

_ Could I let you go or am I too far in? _

 

_ How do I love you? _

 

He came into the final pose and held it, unaware of his surroundings until a clap pulled him back to earth.  He focused his eyes on the smaller form of the ravenette standing next to the railing.

 

_ Yuuriiii… _

 

Victor kicked off on his skates, his eyes holding those brown eyes that continued to watch him.  As he moved closer, the light caught the glisten of tears.  _ My Yuuri. _

 

“Hello,” Victor murmured as he rested his hands on the cushion of the barrier.

 

Yuuri held his eyes shyly.  “Hi...you seemed upset this morning.”

 

“I didn’t mean to...I...miss you.”  The last two words fell out of him. The honesty of them laid bare.

 

Yuuri tilted his head, his expression curious.  “I’ve been here all along.”

 

Victor was moved to open up, to express his fears.  “You...stopped coming to me. I thought maybe...you didn’t need me anymore.”

 

Yuuri ducked his head down and chewed his lip, but Victor could see the hint of a smile.  “I...am trying. It’s hard to be brave. I...want to be me. And I’m...independent. I don’t want to be...weak.  Is that...okay?”

 

Victor couldn’t help the smile sneaking into his on expression.  “More than okay...but I’m still there for you. Even...if it’s just because you want to be with me.”

 

Yuuri squirmed and blushed and Victor was utterly charmed.  “What...were you skating? I haven’t seen that before.”

 

“I’m calling it  _ Agape _ , unconditional love.”  He held still, letting those words set in.  “I don’t know what I’ll do with it but...it’s helping me work through some things.”

 

Yuuri’s smiled faltered slightly, he placed his hands on the barrier.  “Are you...okay?”

 

Victor ran his gloved hand through his hair, his sweaty head leaving it in disarray.  Yuuri couldn’t resist reaching out to straighten it and Victor closed his eyes as Yuuri tended to him.  “I’m...needing to feel useful.”

 

Yuuri considered those words thoughtfully.  “Is there a way for you to feel useful while letting me be independent?”

 

Victor nodded.  “I would never take away your independence.”  He considered Yuuri standing by the rail. He was healthier, filled out.  His last weigh-in at the clinic pleased Dr. Ito. “Would you like to skate?”

 

Yuuri glanced back to the sound booth nervously.  “Takeshi said I’m not allowed.”

 

“I think he just wants to make sure you’re safe.”  He held out his hand. “Skate with me?”

 

Yuuri tapped his feet and Victor could see the excitement in his eyes.  “Let me...go get my skates.”

 

He ran off down the hall towards the locker room.  Takeshi leaned forward revealing his presence in the booth.  On the mic, he boomed out, “If he falls…”

 

“Mind your own omega,” Victor called back.  He received a bark of laughter back. It...felt good.

 

Minutes later, Yuuri appeared at the barrier door and Victor skated over to receive him.  As Yuuri’s skates settled on the ice, a look of relief filled his expression. “I’ve missed this.”

 

Victor’s eyebrows shot up, smiling, “Mmmm, I know that feeling.  Why don’t you take some warm up laps?”

 

Yuuri beamed and soon he was moving across the ice, his feet falling into familiar movements. It was simple stroking, nothing beyond good timing and posture, but to the young man it felt divine.   He progressed under Victor’s supervision into footwork. As Victor observed his balance, he gave him permission to do simple spins. Carrying a child made a camel impossible, however Yuuri did pull into a teardrop, only to giggle at Victor’s frown.  Finally, he gave the go ahead for single jumps. “No doubles and no axel,” he stressed. And Yuuri didn’t push it. He didn’t want to lose his ice privileges so soon after getting them back. Victor loved watching the younger man in motion, but the best part was Yuuri’s smile and the laugh that bubbled out of him.

 

_ I know...I’m happiest on ice, too, my Yuuri. _

 

Yuuri was skating towards him and Victor’s eyes widened as Yuuri grabbed his hands and pulled him along giving him a close view of that smile and he could tell it went all the way to his eyes.

 

Later, as Victor led a breathless and happy Yuuri off the ice so they could prepare for the birthday party, Victor asked Yuuri, “Do you want to continue training through your pregnancy?”

 

Yuuri looked up at him curiously.  “What can I do?”

 

“We’ll still keep the spins and jumps at a minimum, but I think if we talk to Dr. Ito, we can come to a reasonable training schedule.  It will make it easier to get you back up to speed after baby.”

 

Yuuri’s hand unconsciously rubbed his tummy as he considered Victor’s words.  “I can only compete if I give her up...I haven’t decided yet.”

 

Victor’s fingers itched to join Yuuri’s as they cradled the baby within, “I disagree about you having to give her up in order to compete.  I...I would be there to help you. It will be a partnership.”

 

Yuuri turned back to look at the ice as he considered Victor’s words.  “I...I don’t know. I want to train but I don’t want to risk hurting her.  I...already risked too much when...when you found me.”

 

Victor thinned his lips.  While he appreciated Yuuri taking responsibility for his personal neglect, he also knew the omega wasn’t in a good mental state when he arrived and he hated the blame.  “I don’t want you to pressure you, Yuuri. I can get you back up to speed if you feel you need to take these months off.”

 

“I’m already at the halfway point…” Yuuri deliberated.

 

“And you skated most of that,” Victor pointed out.

 

Sitting down, he began untying his skates.  “I think I want to hear what Dr. Ito says. She already approved my dancing and Minako has supervised and helped me to develop a routine to keep me limber.”

 

“I just...love to see your smile,” Victor murmured as he kneeled helped Yuuri finish undoing his skates, pulling out the tongue and setting Yuuri’s foot down gently, he reached for the other skate.  Looking up, he was rewarded with a new smile, tender as those brown eyes studied him.

 

“It’s becoming easier,” he whispered.  “With you.”

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri made himself useful when the children arrived for the party, tying on skates, helping the mother set up the table and decorate the party room with streamers and balloons.  Victor and Yuuri both agreed he probably shouldn’t be on the ice with twenty unsteady five-year-olds. The triplets were there, however, and as experienced skaters thanks to their parents, they kept the party going.  Yuuri stole peeks at Victor as he picked up the little ones and led them around the ice, their happy squeals rewarding him for his efforts. Here, Victor could be himself. Not the celebrity. Just Victor.

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened at the thought, realizing he had always referred to himself as “just Yuuri”, as if being “just” something meant it wasn’t enough.  Perhaps being just Yuuri was good, whole, Real.  Just Victor was enough, it was more than the world champion any day.  Perhaps just Yuuri was what Victor was looking for.  Just Victor certainly looked Real...and happy.  _  Would you be happy with just me?  I don’t have a lot to offer. Maybe...a baby. _

 

His hand slid over his tummy.  He was doing that more and more.  Feeling her flip flop in his stomach, he could no longer deny her movements, her existence...and the growing feeling in his chest. _  I...love you.  I just don’t know if I’d be a good mom to you.  I’m...scared. _

 

Watching Victor, he recalled how the man would lovingly caress his tummy, talk to her, read to her, and even sing lullabies.  He would listen with excitement at the beat of her heart at the doctor’s office.  He called her...his.  Yuuri ran his hand over the mark.  It remained a glaring reminder of the reality. _  If she’s not yours, would you still stay?  Would you still want me?  Want us?   _ Another squeal echoed across the rink drawing Yuuri’s eyes once more and he smiled as he watched Victor scoop up another child laughing with them.   _ You’d be a good papa. _  Baby Girl agreed with Yuuri’s thoughts through a kick beneath Yuuri’s hand.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter...one Russian kitten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So we have to have a cute little blond kitten to stir things up a bit. ;) I think it was KD that wasn't sure this was a good plan but here he is. Enjoy!

* * *

 

* * *

Victor’s realization that Yuuri’s desire for independence wasn’t a rejection of him pulled some of the tension off of the Russian.  He still missed Yuuri at night and in the early hours of morning, his hand reaching across the bed, his body yearning to feel the smaller body curled into him.  He didn’t know quite how to process this need. He’d always been alone, always slept alone. Even when he had lovers, he rarely stayed with them claiming early practice before taking his leave.  Allowing someone in his space, let alone inviting them in, felt foreign.

 

As he skated through his struggles, he forced himself to look at their situation from Yuuri’s perspective.  The omega’s self worth was tied to his independence and his strength. In order for Yuuri to love himself again, he had to get back to that place.  And Victor suspected Yuuri wasn’t used to sharing a space himself.

 

Yuuri arrived at the rink later than Victor, the older man insisting on him getting his sleep for the sake of the baby...and he arrived with two dogs on lead.  They curled up in a space designated for them and Yuuri prepared to practice. They had settled on a schedule of three days on ice, three on the dance floor rotating every other day.  Predictably, Yuuri had pushed for more ice time, however Victor argued that the younger man needed to work through his constantly changing center of gravity. Mid-week, they visited with Dr. Ito who made sure her high risk patient was in good order.  On dance days, Victor would pick Yuuri up at the studio as he prepared to walk back for lunch. Minako took care of him there and reported any concerns she had to Victor. He appreciated her blunt and candid approach as much as he appreciated Mari’s straight forward attitude.  He didn’t have to guess where he stood and they were both protective over Yuuri.

 

It was on a dance day that Victor heard a brash call across the ice and looked up to see a familiar face.  “Is this where you’ve run off to, Old Man?”

 

Victor couldn’t stop the smile tugging at his lips.  Turning, he waved, and skated to the barrier where the blond stood watching.  “Yura! It’s so good to see you.”

 

Yura would not be placated by the friendly greeting.  He had come too far to be satisfied with the goofy _good to see you_.  He immediately pushed into Victor’s business.  “Why are you here, Asshole? Haven’t you fucked the pig by now?”

 

Victor frowned and remembered there were times he didn’t like his young protege.  “Don’t call him that...and it’s a lot more complicated than an affair.”

 

“It always is with you.  Drama!” the blond spouted back, rolling his eyes and waving his hands.  “Yakov is pissed, you know.  We get laps if any of us mention you.”

 

Victor sighed as he studied his hands on the barrier.  “I may have...let him believe what he wanted.  What are you doing here?”

 

Yura shrugged.  “I could say it was for the senior debut program you promised me...but I’ve been pushed to wait a year.”

 

“But you took gold in Juniors,” Victor frowned.

 

“Yeah, well...I’m apparently going through a growth spurt.   _Russia_ thinks I should wait.”  The annoyance at being pushed to the back burner was clear.  However Victor looked at the blond who, when Victor had left Russia, barely reached his shoulder, was now up to his nose.

 

“Russia meaning Yakov.”  Victor spoke in a knowing tone, ‘Russia’ had given him many lectures in his career.

 

The blond’s expression said it all.  “So...he’s probably pissed off with me right now.  He wouldn’t sign off for me to travel...so I had Grandpa do it.”

 

Victor laughed at the ease with which the boy explained his unauthorized departure.  “He doesn’t know you’re here?”

 

Yuri shrugged, “I’m sure he’s figured it out by now.  I needed a few days off.”

 

Victor narrowed his eyes at the boy.  “So you thought, _why not Japan_?”

 

He leaned back from the bar, “It wasn’t easy to find out where you were hiding.  Your social media has been dead.”

 

“That’s on purpose.  I don’t want press following me here.”  He leveled a look at Yuri.  “Do you think you can keep quiet?”

 

Yura shrugged.  “Whatever.” Victor knew that was a _yes_.

 

“Where are you staying?”

 

Yura looked a little sheepish at that question.  Squirming under his gaze, the youth murmured, “With you?”

 

Victor chuckled.  “You completely planned this out.  Okay, let me put my skates up and we’ll swing by to get Yuuri.”

 

Yuri followed Victor to the bench, “Where is the pig anyway?”

 

Victor leveled a disapproving stare at the youth.  “He has a name.  Be respectful...and we are staying at his place.  Well, his parents’ place.”

 

Stuffing his hands into his pockets the blond rolled his eyes, “That’s cool.  I can be chill.”  Yuri followed Victor down the hall to the locker room lugging his cheetah print suitcase.  Locking down his skates, they headed out bumping into Yuuko on the way.

 

She remained shocked in silence for a solid minute before erupting into the loudest squeal Victor had heard...and she had squealed pretty loudly before this moment.  “Oh my god! You’re Yuri Plisetsky!”

 

Yura looked from Victor and then back to the Japanese woman.  “Hey.”

 

Victor smiled, filling in the introduction, “Yura, this is Yuuko.  She helps run the rink and is a friend of Yuuri’s.  Be nice.”

 

“I can be nice!” Yura argued.

 

“Hi,” she returned holding out her hand then jumping up and down excitedly.

 

“She’s a skating fan and was Yuuri’s rinkmate as he grew up,” Victor explained.  “Yuuko, will you continue to keep the girls on radio silence with regards to Yura’s visit?”

 

“Oh, they are still grounded from the internet, the phone, all electronics on the face of the planet.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

As they left, Yura fell into step beside Victor.  “So...are you like his coach or something?”

 

Victor bit his bottom lip.  He would have to talk about Yuuri’s condition at some point with Yura.  “Yuuri can’t compete this year but I hope to help him prepare for next season.”

 

“Why...can’t he compete?”  The voice held suspicion.

 

“You’ll see.”  They stopped on the sidewalk, Victor’s eyes on the door where Yuuri would exit.  Minako lived above the studio but Yuuri would come from below.  Soon the glass front door opened and Yuuri came out to join them.  Victor was glad he had the foresight to text Yuuri because dealing with one shocked person was enough.

 

The green eyes turned into saucers as the boy gagged out the words, “You-you’re pregnant!”

 

The Japanese man’s lips thinned.  “Hello, Yuri.  Good to see you, too.”

 

Rounding on Victor, Yura’s eyes accused as he poked his finger into Victor’s chest.  “This is why you’re here?  You knocked him up?  And when did you have the cha...oh, no.  You didn’t sleep with him after the banquet, did you?  He was fucking drunk!  No wonder Yakov is pissed!”

 

Victor was glad most of that was in Russian and he coolly returned, “I’m not going to discuss adult matters with a child, especially one that acts irrationally.  This is between the two of us.”

 

Yura was not about to take that answer, “Like hell!”

 

Victor put on his sternest voice, the kind he reserved for Georgi when he was pining too hard.  “Yura!  You are welcome to stay but you will not upset my Yuuri.  My very pregnant Yuuri.”

 

That sobered the blond who backed off and turned back to the Japanese man who watched the exchange with wide eyes.  “Sorry,” he apologized in English. “I...didn’t expect...I thought...sorry.”

 

Yuuri ran his hand over the back of his neck self-consciously.  “I’ve kept it quiet,” he murmured, pulling at his shirt to cover his belly more and scratching at his arm.

 

Now that he took the time to actually observe, Yura’s discerning eyes saw the pain etched into the omega.  “I won’t say anything,” he promised.

 

That seemed to put everyone at ease.  Walking back, Yuuri asked, “How long are you staying?”

 

“My flight back is in a week.  I just wanted to see what this asshole was up to,” he explained as he thumbed back to Victor.

 

Yuuri looked from one to the other before nodding.  The cheetah print rolling suitcase followed them as they walked back to the onsen.  About half way, Yuuri asked, “Where will you stay?”

 

“Victor said I could stay with him.”

 

“Sure,” Victor answered warmly.  “He can pull out the futon and sleep on my floor.”

 

Yura looked from one to the other before declaring, “I’m not sleeping in there if you two are going to be gross.”

 

Yuuri blushed realizing what the teen was implying.  “I-it’s not like that. I have my own room.”

 

Yura’s eyes narrowed but he had the wisdom to hold his tongue.  However he snuck a look to Victor, who was decidedly not returning the look.

 

At the onsen, Yuuri’s parents cheerily greeted their guest but fussed about where to put him until Victor volunteered to let him sleep on a futon in his room.  That left one concern. “Well, let me feed the boy, at least,” Hiroko determined. “You get him settled and I’ll have lunch ready when you come back down.”

 

Yura sat on the sofa as Victor slid open the door to the room he hoped to make into a nursery.  For now, Yura could sleep there. He was in the process of pulling out the futon from the wall of closets when he heard Yura break the silence.

 

The rage from earlier had drained completely leaving curiosity.  The boy smelled something off in this entire story.  “So...if you are together, why aren’t you sleeping together?”

 

Victor busied himself with work, avoiding the blond’s face.  “Like I said...it’s complicated.”

 

“Are you sure the kid is even yours?”

 

“Yuuri’s not like that.  He doesn’t sleep around.”

 

Yuri paused for a moment.  He wasn’t sure who was being taken advantage of in this.  “Maybe not sober…”

 

“Yura,” Victor warned.

 

“Hey, I was there that night.  I realize he was all over you.”  After a moment, he added, “That didn’t mean you had to take advantage of him.”

 

“I didn’t...I mean…”  Victor growled in frustration but he knew he’d already slipped up.

 

Yura studied him, letting that information simmer between them.  Victor could see in the big green eyes that the lie had failed again.   _So long as it works on the one person who needs it._

 

Ignoring the glaring lie between them, Victor roughly organized the bed in the small room.  It was actually quite roomy...maybe close to the size of Yuuri’s room. Perfect for a nursery.  However, the futon looked worse for the the wear. He sighed. _I’ll work on it later._ Yura set his suitcase on the opposite side of the small room and followed him downstairs.

 

* * *

 

Lunch came in the form of katsudon and Yura responded with as much happiness as Victor.  “This is amazing!”

 

“I know, right?” Victor responded, his eyes happy.  Turning to Yuuri, he watched his mate toying with his bite.  “Are you okay?”

 

Suddenly he was up and running, with a hand over his mouth.  Yura’s eyes widened and Victor sighed and started to rise up and check on him only to be intervened by Hiroko.  “I’ll check on him.  You see to your guest.”

 

Settling back down, he pouted towards his dish.  “This is Yuuri’s favorite meal.”

 

Yuri shook his head, disgusted by what he wasn’t used to.  “Is he sick a lot?”

 

Victor nodded, “He made me throw out my cologne the other day.”

 

Yura snorted.  “Thank god! I hated that cologne.”

 

Victor started for a moment, that cologne had been a favorite of his for years.  “It melded with my scent so well.”

 

Yura dropped his chopsticks and looked the older man dead in the eyes, “Everyone hated it, Victor!”

 

Victor turned wide eyes to the teen.  “No one told me.”

 

Yura picked up his chopsticks and grumbled into his bowl, stuffing his mouth as he spoke, “Yakov told you plenty...everyone else was being nice.”

 

“Yuuri told me to burn it,” Victor admitted bitterly.

 

Yura fell back holding his stomach laughing at Victor’s discomfort.  “Good!”  When Yuuri rejoined them, the youth gave him an appreciative smile.  Yuuri offered a small smile back not knowing what had transpired between the other two then looked at his bowl longingly.

 

“Is it the smell of the katsudon now?” Victor asked.

 

Yuuri shook his head.  “It’s...fish. I think.  I’ll take this to my room and see if it’s easier to eat there.”

 

Picking up his bowl, he left the pair behind.

 

Hiroko came back to take away their bowls when Victor protested.  “We can clean up after ourselves.  You have enough to do.”

 

“Well, you have company,” she argued.

 

Holding the Russian teen’s eyes, he stated pointedly, “Who is my family and can also clean up after himself.”  He gave Yura a small push and soon the youth was following Victor into the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

Upstairs, Yura was surprised to find the futon made out.  “Who did this?”  It looked far better than Victor’s attempt.

 

He glanced towards Yuuri’s closed door through his own.  “I suspect Yuuri.” Closing the door, he turned to the teen.  “Be nice to him.  He’s been through a lot.”

 

“I guess so since you can’t keep it in your pants,” Yura baited.

 

Victor sighed even as he laid back on his bed staring up to the ceiling.   _Why are people so ready to believe the worst?_  “It’s not what it appears,” he muttered.

 

The little tiger huffed as he rummaged through his suitcase.  Victor turned on his side and couldn’t help the smirk when he spotted the stuffed tiger.  Yura looked up and narrowed his eyes. “Shut up.”

 

Chuckling, he glanced towards the chair and the tattered bunny.  “What am I going to say?”

 

Yuri pulled on his cat eared headphones and shut Victor out while he napped out some of his jetlag.  Victor scanned his social media and was about to pick up a book when he heard a tap on his door.  He didn’t need to ask to know who it was.  Sliding it open, Yuuri looked awkwardly past him towards the sleeping teen before motioning Victor to follow him.

 

“I didn’t know he was coming,” Victor started as they reached the first floor.  Yuuri lifted amused brown eyes up to him even as he continued to the door. Leashes in hand, they took the dogs out and Victor soon saw Yuuri wanted a walk.  “He was held back from transitioning to seniors. He isn’t happy about it so I think he came here to blow some steam...and maybe satisfy his curiosity.”

 

“It’s fine, really,” Yuuri responded, waving off his concerns.

 

“Did you make his bed up?”

 

Yuuri nodded but didn’t expand on it.

 

Victor took Yuuri’s free hand as they walked, “Thank you.  He’s really rough around the edges but you don’t realize where we found him.  I sort of took him under my wing. He’s...probably feeling a little abandoned right now.”

 

Yuuri glanced up at him before murmuring, “I guess I can understand that feeling.  Why was he held back?”

 

“Rapid growth.  We were going to work on his senior debut this year but...I guess that’s on hold.  I didn’t notice it at first, but I think he’s grown 10 cm!”

 

Yuuri raised his eyebrows at the rapid growth.  “Did you help with the younger skaters a lot in Russia?” Yuuri asked.

 

Victor nodded.  “They all looked up to me and...I got in trouble a lot.  So while Yakov cooled off, he’d often send me to mind the beginners.”

 

A smile teased at Yuuri’s lips.  “You’re good with them...kids, that is.”

 

“Thanks.  I like kids...maybe it was because I was an only child.”  He remembered teaching a _Learn to Skate_ class after a particularly bad flare up by Yakov.  The children and their love skating, untainted by the industry, inspired him.  “I never quite fit the normal alpha model.  My papas said that most didn’t...most landed somewhere in between.”

 

“I...probably don’t fit the normal omega model.  I’m very independent and fight against being taken care of.”  He thought about it for a moment then grinned.  “Except for the nesting.  The nesting instinct is strong.”

 

“Would you...did you have a nest in Detroit?”  Victor wanted to ask him if he would feel comfortable nesting in his bed but maybe that would be too much too soon.

 

Yuuri laughed as he pulled up near a small trail that veered off from the sidewalk.  Signaling Victor to follow him, he thought about it for a moment before answering, “I think I nest everywhere.  I have even nested in my hotel room more than once.”  Glancing up, he added, “It makes me feel secure...helps me deal with my anxiety.”

 

“What do you need?”  Having not grown up around omegas, Victor suddenly found himself curious.

 

“Well, there are always the bundles of pillows and blankets...all of the comforts of home.  If you ring room service, they’ll bring you as many bundles as you need. I once had five bundles...Phichit came back to our room and couldn’t find me.  He said it was a veritable igloo of pillows.”

 

Victor remembered pulling the cushions from the couch as a child, “Like the forts I built as a kid.”

 

Yuuri laughed.  “Something like that.  But it isn’t just the soft things.  I have to put things that hold scent into it.  I’m constantly dismantling and rebuilding it to pull out the items where the scent has faded.  The one here, it has a lot of childhood comforts with it as well. Even when I put it back together, those things found their way back in.”  Yuuri smiled as his expression became nostalgic.

 

“Tossies?  Like when you are traveling?”

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “Sometimes...depends on if they are scented.  Most of those are donated to local foster programs.”

 

Victor smiled at the similarities, they both were driven towards donation and acts of charity.  “I donate mine to hospitals...but I like that.”

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “My major in college was social services and counseling.  I didn’t want to work for a government agency or anything like that...but I want to do something to make the world a little better.  I don’t know what it would be yet.”

 

Victor was suddenly even more impressed to know that along with being an artist Yuuri was an academic, and a socially conscious one at that.  “I figured you’d major in dance.”

 

Yuuri grinned, and Victor was loving this openness Yuuri was giving him.  “I probably took enough dance that I could have used it as a double major.  I may pick up a master’s in counseling down the road. I had enough psychology.  I could do dance therapy in that case.”

 

“My papas wanted me to go to college even though I already had a solid start on a career.  Yakov set it up and I studied through tutors. I...have a business degree.  Focus on sports management.  I didn’t really know what I wanted to do...but I’m good with money and banking on my personality.”

 

Yuuri hummed thinking of how they both loved a sport that demanded everything only to dump them at 30...at the latest.  “I...get tired of having eyes on me.  I just want to skate and not worry about the fame.”

 

Victor sighed, thinking of the imposters he had met through the skating world.  Hangers-on, sponsors that wanted more, fans who wanted to know you only to hate the person you truly were.  “The fame...is exhausting.  And you’re left wondering what is a real connection.  Maybe that’s why my friends are all in the skate industry.”

 

Yuuri smiled, “Birds of a feather?”

 

“Indeed.”  He stopped and thought about Yuuri’s life.  “But you...you have real friends.”

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “That’s the advantage to attending a university and a regular school.  I met people but I had to fit skating around the rest of my life rather than the other way around.”

 

Victor suddenly felt a small pull of envy at that sort of life.  “I...wonder if that’s not better.  It felt like at times all I had was skating.”

 

“But you won,” Yuuri pointed out.

 

Victor shrugged.  “I’m not going to lie.  I love to win...but I also love the process.  Creating something new.”

 

“Like your _Agape_ program?”

 

He smiled, thinking of _Agape_ , and being able to discuss it with the very man that inspired it.  “Yes...I pull from my life these days. Last season...I was looking for something deeper.  Have you ever longed for something you never had? Like an unanswered yearning?”

 

Yuuri smiled and nodded as he reached for some branches and pulled them back.  Victor stepped through and his eyes widened. The torii leading up to the hidden shrine blended into the natural backdrop, the entire hillside covered in brightly coloured wildflowers.

 

“Yuuriiii…” Victor whispered, elongating the second syllable in appreciation.

 

Yuuri looked pleased.  “There are three shrines that people know about in Saga but then we have these hidden away.  The priests that work to maintain this one are people you would see in town and not realize who they are...many are artisans who maintain older techniques to respect the older generations.”

 

Victor felt overwhelmed, realizing that this beautiful place held so much more to see.  It truly was Yuuri.  “I feel that when I’m here.  It’s like I stepped back in time but then you see modern influences.”

 

Yuuri nodded with a smile.  “This town used to be a retreat and people would come here to take advantage of the hot springs, escaping the more populated cities.  Now...it’s just locals continuing to maintain their bubble. There was once an omega house here, providing a place for omegas to safely spend their heats.  You will notice that the area has a number of omega-beta pairings.  Alphas aren’t as common.  But because of our population, we have a larger population of pure omegas.”

 

Victor considered the implication of Yuuri’s words.  In a world where most alphas and omegas were born OA and it was a matter of time to see where they would fall on the spectrum, a pure omega was even more rare than a pure Alpha.  Victor stilled, piecing together what Yuuri was telling him, “Are you a pure omega?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “That’s another reason why I have such strong nesting instincts.”

 

Victor frowned as he thought about it before he pointed out, “Your sister is Alpha.”

 

“She’s...not my father’s.  My father met my mother in Fukuoka while he was getting his business degree.  She worked in her family’s restaurant as a cook and server. My sister...she was the product of a heat gone wrong.  He brought her and her daughter home.  There was this huge fight but Dad refused to let them go.”

 

Victor thought about what Yuuri was telling him then his eyes widened.  “Your mother was raped?”

 

Yuuri grimaced and shook his head.  “No...but improper birth control methods with a heat partner.   They gave out antibiotics too easily back then...and people didn’t think about it creating birth control interference.  He was a friend.  They still talk but Mari doesn’t know him as Dad.  He’s just an uncle to her.”

 

“Your family seem very open about things,” Victor observed.

 

“We are and we aren’t.  I know I can tell my parents anything and it would be judgment free.  It’s still...embarrassing.” He motioned through the torii.  “We’re here.  It would be rude not to pay the shrine a visit.  And there is a waterfall.”

 

Victor’s eyes danced.  “Lead the way.  I’m not familiar with your traditions.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “Keep to the side of the path.  The middle is for the _kami_ .”  Yuuri bowed to the torii before entering.  At the pavilion, they faced a basin of water and Yuuri led Victor through the purification process.  They then continued to the shrine where Yuuri once more guided Victor through the process of paying his respects.  After, they purchased _ema_ where Yuuri composed his wish and wrote it down.

 

彼とずっと一緒にいられますように

 

Victor tapped his lip with his finger then asked, “Can I write it in Russian?”

 

Yuuri laughed, “That would be fine.  There are a number in English.”

 

Victor smiled as he wrote his simple and complicated wish, “Hold my family together.”  He then glanced over and wondered what Yuuri had wished for.  Yuuri was browsing through amulets and finally picked one to hang over his nest.  “It’s a blessing for an easy delivery,” he explained as his hand drifted over his tummy.  Victor figured Yuuri’s wish had to do with the baby as well.

 

Yuuri showed Victor the waterfall and they reluctantly turned their steps back home.  “Sometimes I come here on my own...there is a quiet here that I find...restoring.”

 

“Would it be okay if I came?”

 

Yuuri smiled, happy to see Victor embrace his beliefs.  “Of course.  Anytime.  The priests welcome visitors and are always happy to explain the process.”

 

“Good because I wouldn’t want to make the _kami_ angry.”

 

* * *

 

Back home, Victor and Yuuri found their angry tiger still asleep.  They fell into the routine of helping at the inn.  Mari redirected Yuuri to laundry since the smell of fish still did not agree with him.  Victor helped serve, now more familiar with the locals who patiently repeated their orders slowly.  At least working in the restaurant expanded Victor’s knowledge of the language.  He was clearing the last table when Yura wandered down from his sleep.

 

“Ah!  You’re awake!”  Victor greeting the blond brightly, knowing full well his cheerfulness irked the cranky boy.

 

“Can I get some food around here?” he asked grouchily.

 

Victor chuckled.  “The family will sit down soon now that the dinner crowd is gone.”

 

Yura looked around and his eyes widened.  “You’re working here?”

 

Victor shrugged.  “It’s a family run business.  Everyone pitches in to help.  Yuuri is doing laundry.”

 

As Victor deposited the last tub of dishes in the kitchen, Toshiya rang a bell that signaled the family to come together.  Hiroko placed the covered dishes in the center of the family table. Yuuri approached the table with caution and his mother laughed warmly.  “Come on, dear. I avoided seafood for dinner.”

 

The omega sighed with relief.  The dishes were uncovered to reveal [ karaage fried chicken ](https://www.japancentre.com/en/recipes/37-karaage-japanese-fried-chicken) , vegetables, and [ gyoza dumplings ](https://www.japancentre.com/en/recipes/438-gyoza-dumplings).  The last item was on the evening’s menu and Victor was pleased to see it making its appearance at the dinner table.

 

After dinner, Yura followed Victor and helped him finish the dishes.  Victor then offered to show Yura the onsen.  The younger Russian was reluctant but finally agreed.

 

Yuuri caught them disappearing through the door as he came out of the laundry.  He approached the bath then started to leave, his hand going to his stomach.

 

His sister watched Yuuri and finally said, “If you want to go, then go...just make sure Victor helps you into the bath so you don’t slip and hurt yourself.”

 

“It’s not that...I just…”  He glanced down at his body.  Victor hadn’t seen him naked since the changes from his pregnancy.  “I can’t.” Yuuri retreated up the stairs, wincing as he heard Victor’s laughter, the conversation lost behind the language barrier.   _He’s probably thinking about going back to Russia by now._

 

* * *

 

Notes:

 

彼は私と一緒に滞在してみましょう should translate to “let him stay with me”...according to google.  ;)

 Okay...corrected below.  The statement should be written:  彼とずっと一緒にいられますように

 

[ Etiquette at Shrines and Temples ](https://en.japantravel.com/guide/shrine-temple-etiquette/20924)

 

 

* * *

 

WORLD NOTES:

A little about ABO genetics in this world.  Alpha/Omega pairings often resulted in mixed results creating beta children or AO children.  AOs could fall either way on the spectrum, Alpha or Omega. However, a pure Omega, an OO, most likely result with omegas paired to betas carrying a recessive O.

 

BB,Bb,bb,AB,OB=betas

AA,Ab=alpha

OO, Ob=omega

AO=spectrum, most don’t know until presentation which way they fall.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pregnancy around a kitten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning! I hope you like this newest installment. Only 10 chapters left! Can you believe it? Don't worry. I've got six chapters written in the next part. It will probably be a little longer from the pace and flow. Because I know I'm not ready to let these characters go. ;)

* * *

 

Yuuri rolled over in his bed unhappily.  With Yura in the next room, he no longer had the same easy access to Victor.  He stretched towards his toes and smiled as a poodle huffed under his fingers licking them for pets.  “Good morning, Makkachin.” Yuuri then had a smaller toodle tumble into his lap demanding the same treatment.  “Okay, Vicchan. I haven’t forgotten you either.”  _ At least I have both of the dogs... _

 

Then baby kicked and it was pee or die.  Yuuri groaned pulling himself from the comfort of the beds and dogs.  Moving quickly from his bed with the urgency of his situation Yuuri managed to knock down part of the nest wall.  He didn’t even spare it a glance as he made his way into the hall only to find the bathroom door shut and locked. He grimaced, Victor never locked it on him.  He danced back and forth and seeing the door slid open to Victor’s room, he peeked in to see both were up and out. Seeing no reprieve, he knew he had to move to plan B and rushed downstairs, stumbling on the last two steps only to have Victor to catch him in his alarmed state.   _ Of course...plan B never works as planned... _

 

“You need to be careful, my Yuuri…”

 

“It’s just...I need…”  He squirmed, pointing down the hall towards the bathroom on the lower floor.  Victor let him go laughing and watched him as he awkwardly ran to the other bathroom.

 

When a very relieved Yuuri rejoined Victor, he spotted Yura sitting at the opposite end of the table receiving a lecture about not locking the door from Victor.  Yuuri unconsciously ran his hand across Victor’s back letting his scent trail across his shoulders. Victor looked up at the contact and started to rise and help him down when Yuuri waved him off, dropping into a graceful sitting position on his cushion.

 

Yura flicked his eyes his direction and mumbled an apology.

 

Yuuri laughed, a little embarrassed and feeling color move up his neck into his cheeks.  “It’s just...sometimes the baby kicks and I have to go...immediately.”

 

The little blond flicked his eyes at the omega, both horrified and amazed, “Oh...I didn’t know.”

 

Yuuri saw the boy’s interest mixed with concern.  “That’s fine...I’m learning all kinds of things I didn’t know about babies...and I’m having one.”

 

Yura relaxed then cast a glare at Victor who ignored it.  “So...it moves?”

 

Yuuri smiled, the boy was making his own form of an effort.  “ _ She _ does...a lot.  Would you like to feel her?  She’s really active right now.”

 

Yura glanced nervously towards Victor.  “I...don’t think that’s a good idea.”

 

Victor looked his direction in surprise.  Shaking his head, he indicated to the man at his side, “It’s Yuuri’s body for him to decide.  I won’t be mad unless you do something he doesn’t like.”

 

Yura shifted nervously, and as he reached out, his hand wavered.  Yuuri saw the boy’s curiosity was going to lose to his fear, and quickly caught the small hand, placing it on his abdomen.  Closing his eyes, the omega focused on baby, her movements active at the moment. He couldn’t fight the smile on his lips when he heard the teen’s gasp of surprise.  He opened his eyes and met the younger man’s eyes, bright green and wide with wonder.

 

Yura’s embarrassment had lost all its hold over him and his natural curiosity took over.  The little blond spoke animatedly, keeping his hand over the small active bump. “I’ve...not been around anyone who had a baby growing inside them.  Is it...weird?”

 

Yuuri smirked, his mind taking a wicked bend.  “Well, you’ve seen the  _ Alien  _ movies, right?  The ones with Sigourney Weaver?  It’s kind of like that. You’re waiting for this alien growing inside of you to burst out of your stomach.”   Yuuri’s hands flew forward on the end of the sentence, emulating the horrific scene. He then giggled and shrugged at the horror on Yura’s face, which slowly faded into a smirk but one mixed with respect.  “It wasn’t real to me until I heard her heartbeat. Then we found out it was a she. Otherwise, it’s actually a lot like having the flu off and on. I feel sick then fine, then sick again. I’m dizzy, and suddenly have to run and pee.  The rest...is probably how you feel with the growth spurt. Achy and my center of gravity is off.”

 

Yura nodded, chewing his lip.  He pulled his hand back, settling it on his ankle.  “So...do you skate still?”

 

Yuuri snuck a glance at Victor, “Some...Vitya supervises me and makes sure I’m safe.  I spend more time in the dance studio. It helps me...recenter. But by the next time I get there, I’m doing it all over again.  That’s how quickly my body changes these days.”

 

Yura set back as he thought about it.  Yuuri watched the little eyes light up with understanding, “It’s frustrating!  I would have debuted this year but…” He threw his head up in the air and Yuuri had to appreciate that he was trying not to cuss in front of his parents...or maybe it was the baby.

 

Yuuri held Victor’s eyes and he knew his decision was made at that moment.  “I’m coming back next year.” He turned to Yura, watching the smile spread across the pale thin lips.  “I would love to compete against you on the ice.”

 

“You’re coming back?”  Yura’s eyes moved from the Japanese man to his mentor.  “And you’re going to coach him?”

 

“If...he lets me,” Victor stated, watching Yuuri turn back to him and he held those brown eyes.  Yuuri nodded in agreement. “It’s what I want.”

 

“Will you still...choreograph my debut?”  There was doubt in that voice and Yuuri could hear the fear of abandonment in the tremor.

 

Victor turned to focus his eyes on the blond and nodded.  He had been much more than mentor to the young man, and he knew the fear of being forgotten was still strong in the boy.  “Of course...but you will probably have to come here.”

 

Yura lit up at the idea of returning to this warm family, “I can do that!  I figured out how this time.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yuuri felt himself shaking by the time he reached his room.  Today had been new for him. He felt stronger, determined. He...laid claim to Victor.  He...laid claim to his career, making a plan to move forward in his future. Placing a hand on his tummy, he blinked back tears.  “What does that mean for you?” He didn’t know. Could they raise a baby on the ice? Yuuko pulled out of competition with hers while Yuuri continued to rise.  But that was what she had wanted. What did he want?

 

“How am I going to do this?  Is it selfish to want it all?  Impossible?” He closed his eyes and thought of Victor, how he walked away from his life in Russia, his life on the ice...to be there for him.  “It would be impossible if I were alone...but I’m not alone. Not if I don’t want to be.

 

He heard the tap on his door and he hesitantly opened it.  Victor waited on the other side. “Do...you really want this?” Yuuri asked hesitantly.

 

“I wouldn’t have offered otherwise,” Victor assured him.  Victor was dying to close the distance between them, but he knew that he had to let Yuuri take the lead.  Yuuri needed to be in charge of this.

 

Yuuri chewed his lip and he could feel his nerves jittering beneath his skin.  Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward into Victor’s space wrapping his arms around the older man’s middle.  Victor hugged him back, pressing a kiss into his hair before resting his cheek against his head.

 

“I could tell you were unsettled,” Victor continued.  “I had to check on you.”

 

Yuuri rubbed his cheek into the smooth material of Victor’s shirt, “I think...that’s the first time I decided on something  _ I _ wanted since this began.”

 

Victor smiled into the raven hair, “Yura and I were going to go to the rink...would you join us?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  It was his skate day anyway.  “I’d like that.” As they walked downstairs, Victor walking in front of him lest he should fall, he felt a bit of boldness.  “Can we increase my time on the ice?”

 

Victor leveled a gaze at him knowing Yuuri’s tendency to negotiate for a little bit more easily turned an inch into a mile.  He finally answered, “We’ll see. But jumps, even singles, and spins are still out. And I don’t want to hear about how toe-loops are technically half jumps.  You don’t jump high but you jump far, and that’s a harder edge to maintain.” He stopped when he caught Yuuri crossing his eyes, mocking the mini-lecture.

 

They took more steps down and Yuuri argued, “Yuuko was jumping doubles in her seventh month.”

 

Victor nodded and raised his eyebrows, “And now we know why Takeshi is balding.”

 

Yuuri snorted at that.  “I know you’ve met the girls.   _ They  _ are why he’s balding.”

 

* * *

  
  
  


Yura was waiting by the door, eager to head out.  His expression softened while he watched the two interact.  He hated to lose Victor as a mentor. He knew the older Russian lied about being the father to the baby he had felt earlier.  He just didn’t know why. But it was clear the two of them had a connection. As he held the door for the older two, his eyes rested on the remnants of a bondmark.  Closing his eyes for a moment, he recalled the pain in Yuuri’s face. The pieces fell together in an instant.

 

Yura felt his chest knot together, his feet froze in their spot and he watched them begin to walk away.  It felt all too close to home, Yuuri’s pain, the sorrow and loneliness he felt coming from the other man at certain moments.  But Yuuri was strong, stronger than anyone Yura had met. He wouldn’t insult the omega with pity. Swallowing down the sickness of realization, he followed them, soon catching up to Yuuri.  He’d be damned if he let a pregnant omega outpace him.

 

At the rink, he watched Yuuri struggle to reach his laces and saw Victor kneel down to take care of them.  A pang of jealousy twinged within him.  _ Why didn’t my mom have that? _

 

On the ice, Victor was good to divide his time, giving Yura the coaching he needed and Yuuri the restraint he needed.  The blond had to smile at the determined Japanese man pushing the rules. Yuuri would wait until Victor was engrossed on something Yura needed before trying to step into a complicated footwork sequence, which he miraculously managed to finish the moment Victor’s eyes traveled back to his form.  Yura smirked as Yuuri winked across to his fellow conspirator.  _ He’s going to give you hell, Victor. _

 

On the walk back, he spotted Yuuri’s skip and then spun to walk backwards talking to Victor until Victor caught up to him and turned him back around before he tripped.  The teen could see there was still innocence in his expression...even after everything.  _ Do I still have that? _

 

At home, Yuuri and Victor fell into the routine of family life, helping out as needed.  Yura offered to do the same and soon he was working on laundry with Mari. “We started Victor out here as well,” she explained.

 

Yura spoke slowly, trying to figure out the tall woman with blond fried ends.  “How...is he doing?”

 

She raised an eyebrow and asked, “Which one?  Victor or my brother?”

 

The blond shrugged, keeping his eyes on the bundles he was shoving into the machine.  “I guess...both?”

 

Mari leaned against the dryer next to Yura and studied the little blond.  “Victor is trying hard...I guess he’s doing fine. I just don’t want him to hurt my brother.  Yuuri’s been through too much.”

 

Yura stilled for a moment.  He remained facing the machine, but Mari saw those green eyes slide over to her, “He was...forced, wasn’t he?”

 

Mari sighed heavily as she stared at the towel she was folding.  “It’s been hard from the start. He came home at the end of December.  Too much grief for such a small body.” She grew still for a moment, and Yura heard a small break in her voice.  She blinked away a tear that he knew better than to mention. “I think...he might have given up if it wasn’t for Victor.  He...was waiting to die. He couldn’t move past his pain.”

 

Yura’s throat hitched with a sob.  This was all far too close to home.  He dropped the towel in his own hand and ran out of the room.  Mari took one step, then knew the boy needed to be alone with this.  She only hoped that when he was ready he’d find his way back to her.

  
  
  
  


Victor found the boy curled up in a ball in the corner of the garden, knees hugged to his chest, with this head buried within.  Remembering Toshiya’s guidance, he reached for some pots on the planting bench and began digging in the dirt, adding new herbs to replace the old.  Yura slowly unfolded and watched, his face full of dirty tears. He watched the older man work quietly, patiently. Yura appreciated how much his friend had grown since coming here.  For his part, Victor waited, continuing to work, until the teen was ready to talk. The voice was small, one that Victor recognized from when Yura had first moved into the dorm. “He’s...like my Mama.”

 

Victor nodded slowly, continuing to work.  “Mari said you became upset when you found out the truth.”

 

Yura moved over to Victor, examining the pots and plants.  “Mama...she didn’t come back. Grandpa said she gave up on life.  I didn’t know until later what he really meant.”

 

Victor sighed, his mask dropping to reveal his own struggle.  Yura saw how much Victor had been carrying all this time. “Yuuri was nestbound when I got here and was in bad shape.  I...took responsibility for the child giving him the strength to move forward.”

 

“She’s not yours…”  Yura whispered.

 

Victor shook his head, turning his blue eyes to meet the glittering green of Yura’s.  “We were never together. I wouldn’t...but everyone was so ready to believe it.” Victor then shrugged.  Yura heard the hurt in his voice. He felt shame in his own assumptions of Victor. Victor began again, “Maybe not everyone...but the ones who claimed to know me, those are the ones that hurt the most.”  Yura’s eyes dropped from his friend’s face, looking down at the little plant moving into a pot too large for it. He knew he was one of those that hurt Victor. Victor patted the dirt around the next plant.  “I...told Yuuri what he needed to hear...but I hate this lie.”

 

Yura settled next to Victor, folding his legs underneath him.  “But you want to stay?”

 

Victor smiled as he studied the fence unseeing.  “Yes...more than anything.”

 

Yura reached out, a small hand taking hold of the material of Victor’s shirt, “Don’t let him be my Mama…”

 

Victor reached towards Yura, placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder, and nodded.  “Don’t worry, I won’t abandon him.”

 

The blond hesitated before letting himself to be pulled into a hug.  Victor held him tightly, feeling the boy shake with new tears and allowing him to hide in his shirt.  He hated leaving this one behind in Russia more than the others. As the teen pulled back, Victor resisted the urge to scruff his hair.  “You come here after Junior Worlds and I’ll have you a program.”

 

Yura’s green eyes sparkled with hope...and a little twinge of competitive jealousy.  “And Yuuri?”

 

Victor smiled, this boy couldn’t change if he tried, a fighter always.  “Yes...I’ll have one for him as well.”

 

The blond smiled.  “Thanks.”

 

* * *

  
  
  


Yuuri answered the phone, greeting Phichit warmly.  “Hey, Phich!”

 

Down the line Phichit’s voice rang out, “Wow, Yuuri!  You sound much better than last time.” 

 

Yuuri heard the relief in his friend’s voice.  He was tempted to call it excessive, but he laid back in his bed and thought about the last few weeks.  “I finally talked to Victor...it helped.”

 

Phichit breathed out a heavy sigh, “Good…”

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes.  Changing the subject to their shared passion, “I’ve been skating...no jumps, though.  He’s really strict about that.” Yuuri didn’t hear the petulant tone in his own voice, and if Phichit did, he remained respectfully silent.

 

“By  _ he  _ I assume you mean Victor.”  Phichit teased.

 

Again another eye roll, “Yes...what’s going on with you?”

 

Phichit wasn’t sure how to begin, his tone changed, softening, “Well...I got a call from Ciao Ciao.  He has two rinks he’s considering. Colorado Springs, Colorado, and Leesburg, Virginia. He’s been calling each of us so we can weigh in on the decision.”  Phichit stopped, and Yuuri could hear him working out his offer. “He wasn’t sure if you’d welcome a call or not.”

 

Yuuri sat upright.  He hadn’t really considered Ciao Ciao in his plans.  He wasn’t sure how he felt, or how the coach felt about him.  Whether his coach would take him back, or work with him as a working...mother?  “I...I need to talk to him. But I don’t know about going back to the States and training.  I sort of thought I’d try from here. I have family to support me...and friends who aren’t competing.”

 

The smile in Phichit’s voice was evident, “I get that...and I’m glad to hear about you training and skating still.  I just...you should talk to him.” Yuuri could hear that the plea came from more than just Phi.  _ Does Ciao Ciao want to talk to me?  What would we say? _

 

Yuuri took a deep breath then let it out.  “Okay...tell him to call me.”

 

Phichit’s squeal almost deafened him, “I will!  Thanks!”

 

Yuuri was downstairs in the den when the call came through.  Curling up with a pillow supporting his tummy, he connected the call.  “Yuuri,” came the familiar Italian voice. “I’m so glad you agreed to this call.  How are you?”

 

Yuuri could hear the deep sincerity from his coach.  “I-I’m actually pretty good. I’m...not mad anymore. I know you were doing what’s best for me.”  Yuuri knew the truth of the statement, but he knew he was still angry...if not at his coach, at his rapist, at his university, at society.

 

“I’m glad to hear that.”  Celestino’s deep voice was warm on the line.  “Are you thinking about returning to the ice after the baby is born?”

 

Yuuri closed his eyes and nodded before he got the words out.  “Yes...I’ve been on the ice off and on and I’m still dancing. It’s just that…”  He wanted to get the words out, but not hurt his coach, “I don’t think I’m going to return to the States.”

 

The coach sighed but understood, the university, the country failed to keep him safe.  But Yuuri wouldn’t know that the coach put the majority of the blame on himself and it ate him up.  “Is it about what happened?”

 

“No...yes...both.  Ciao Ciao, Victor’s here.”  Yuuri could almost hear the disapproval on the other end of the line.  “I know...you are mad but hear me out. Victor and I...we were both making bad decisions that night.  But he’s here now. And he’s supported me...and he respects my right to decide what to do about the baby…”

 

“I bet he does…”  Ciao Ciao didn’t bother to hide his resentment at what he assumed was a condescending alpha pretending to be the hero when he was nothing more than a villain.

 

Yuuri huffed and sat up straighter,  _ I’m not being pushed around. _  “ _ I’m still deciding _ .  I can tell he wants me to keep her...she’s a girl, by the way...but he doesn’t put pressure on me either way.”

 

Celestino was silent for a moment, he heard the force in Yuuri’s voice.  It was stronger, normally Yuuri reserved his strength for skating. The coach was happy to see his on-ice spine show in life.  “And this is what you want?”

 

Yuuri kept his voice strong, not allowing for any doubt.  “Yes, Coach...it is…”

 

“Are you going to Russia after the baby?”

 

Yuuri heard the worry creep back into Celestino’s voice.   _ Russia… NO! _  If omegas were treated as inferiors in the States they were little better than pets in Russia.  “No...I’m staying here. Victor’s going to train me.”

 

Yuuri heard the Italian curse words often enough.  He smiled at the familiar phrases slipping from his coach’s lips right now.  Finally, he stated his opinion. “He’s not ready to coach.”

 

_ At least he’s mad at Victor on a professional level.   _ He smiled down at the little bump,  _ baby steps, even adults take them.   _ “That’s his choice...I’m willing to take a chance on him.  Just as you took a chance on me.”

 

“Yuuri…”  Celestino elongated the last syllable.  However, unlike Victor’s, it was entirely to lecture.

 

Yuuri refused to budge, and that was nothing new to the coach.  “He’s got to prove himself somewhere...if he can get me on the podium, well...you know how hard a task that is.”  Yuuri laughed softly before becoming serious. “I need this, Coach. I’ve lost so much...and this is the first decision I’ve made for myself since then.”

 

Celestino sighed in resignation.  “Very well, Yuuri. I don’t like it...but you’re right.  I’m here, though, if you  _ or he  _ need advice.”

 

Yuuri warmed at the offer of help, not to himself, but to Victor.  He knew Victor would probably ask Yakov, the elderly coach was probably the most famous figure skating coach, second only to Frank Carroll.   _ Although, I wouldn’t tell Yakov he was second to anyone _ .  Then he frowned.   _ Are they speaking? _  He hadn’t heard the Russian speak of his old coach since arriving.  Yura hadn’t mentioned him, and Victor hadn’t asked. “I’ll...let him know.  And...thanks, Ciao Ciao. I know I’m not the easiest skater to work with.”

 

Another sigh but Yuuri could sense the smile in it.  “Maybe not...but it was always worth it.  _ You  _ were always worth it.  Don’t forget that.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri and Yuuri "bonding" time? Some hard truths come to light but is Yuuri ready to hear them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much happens in this chapter. I hope you enjoy this extra chapter this week. I give presents for my birthday!

* * *

 

Yuuri tossed and turned, a whimper slipping through his lips.  Vicchan nosed his hand. When that didn’t wake up his human the tiny poodle moved up to his face, his own whimper answering Yuuri’s.  Yuuri sat up with a start, breathing heavily as he hugged his poodle close. He blinked as he tried to pull the room into focus, reaching for his glasses to help him discern the shadows.  Still shaken, he reached over and flipped the switch on his lamp.

 

The gold light spilled into the space but didn’t fill all the way into the corners.  Dark shadowy figures loomed. Logically, Yuuri knew they were the furnishings and other items in the room.  However, his imagination was too keen at the moment and they become something more, something sinister. Vicchan could sense his agitation, licking and pawing to draw his attention.  Yuuri looked down at the poodle but a shiver worked up his spine. “I need out of here.”

 

He pushed open his door, seeing the dimly lit hallway, nightlights casting their comforting glow on the floors and halfway up the walls.  He crept down the hall and stood outside Victor’s door. Lifting his hand to knock, he hesitated.  _  I don’t want to wake up Yura.  _  He stared at the door shifting on his feet back and forth, his fear affecting his breathing.  He knew the signs. He knew he needed help. Reaching out he held his hand up to the door prepared to knock and then pulled it back down again.

 

On the other side of the door, he heard a whimper and a scratch at the door, followed by Victor’s feet on the hard floor.  Yuuri froze in position, unsure if he wanted to run and hide or wait for Victor. Before he had time to make up his mind, the door opened.

 

Victor’s eyes widened, surprised to find Yuuri standing outside his door.  He whispered, “Yuuri? Are you okay?” Makkachin pushed past Victor and began sniffing Yuuri to check on him.  Victor watched the dog’s behavior, seeing that the dog could read the omega’s distress clearly. A pale hand lifted Yuuri’s chin and Victor sighed, pulling him into an embrace.  “You’re not.  Do you need to sleep with me?”

 

Yuuri looked past Victor and could see Yura’s outline in the other room.  Looking back up, he shook his head and started to retreat but Victor stopped him with a touch.  He knew he would need to create a reason for them to stay together, fortunately they both owned poodles.  “Do you want to take the dogs out...or sit downstairs?”

 

Yuuri shifted back and forth, glancing over at the door to his room then slowly nodded.  “The dogs...probably need out.”

 

They stood for a few minutes out in the summer air, the breeze lifting Yuuri’s hair causing him to step closer to Victor, making sure he can see the alpha at all times.  Victor saw how close Yuuri was keeping, and felt the need coming from the man. “Did you have a nightmare?” Victor asked.

 

Yuuri nodded, his head still full of images.  A soft whimper slipped out and then he was enveloped in Victor’s embrace.  Victor held him until he started to settle, relaxing in his arms.

 

Back inside, Yuuri was still reluctant to return upstairs.  “Do you want...a snack?” he suggested quietly, nervous eyes flitting upstairs.

 

Victor knew he was avoiding his bed but didn’t comment, instead agreeing to accompany him into the kitchen.  “Maybe I can make you some  [ blinis ](https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/215962/blini-russian-pancakes/) ,” he offered.

 

Victor learned that Yuuri was an active watcher, getting things for him as he quietly called out the ingredients.  Soon, he had the pan cooking blinis and slowly started building the stacks. Yuuri was in charge of buttering them as they cleared the pan.  Glancing up at the clock, Victor noted that it was just past four and knew Hiroko will probably be up soon. He continued to cook building the stack.

 

“Victor!  Yuuri! Why are you up so early?”  The warmth of the mother filled the space as she greeted the boys.

 

Yuuri shifted uncomfortably.  “Bad dream,” he murmured without expanding on it.  He had no desire to relive it but shivered letting the others know it was still hanging onto him.

 

“Well, since you have breakfast well on the way, why don’t I make you both a cup of tea?”  She busied herself by the sink and soon had a kettle taking up a back burner. Victor could see her pulling various herbs from pots and then adding it to a large steeping basket.  “I think something more calming...although I know you love matcha, Yuuri.”

 

Yuuri pouted, “No caffeine?”

 

“No, dear...I’m sure Victor will let you rest today.”  She smiled towards Victor and the Russian nodded as he returned her smile.

 

Victor’s voice sang out from the stove, “I think a rest day would be good.  I might take Yura to tour the town...you’re welcome to join us.”

 

Yuuri considered the offer and then shrugged.  “Can we see how I’m feeling later?”

 

“Of course!”

 

Once the tea was ready, Victor showed Yuuri how to fill the blini and fold it into triangles.  He then returned to the stove and finished cooking up what he mixed. “I don’t know how to make a small batch but perhaps it can go with breakfast this morning.”

 

“It looks lovely, Victor,” Hiroko praised.  She made note of the berries and whipped cream he added to Yuuri’s and promised to finish up.  

 

As Yura and Mari tumbled into the kitchen to start the day, Victor led Yuuri out.  Up the stairs, he settled the omega into his bed, the shadows chased away by the early morning light.  “Rest now, my Yuuri,” he murmured.  Even without the shadows, Yuuri was reluctant to settle.  Victor sighed and took his hand pulling the omega to his own room.

 

Yuuri snuggled into the sheets full of Victor’s scent.  The older man pulled a heavier quilt over him knowing the additional weight would help to settle him a little more and turned on the fan next to the bed.

 

* * *

  
  


It was well past noon when Yuuri stumbled back down the stairs, once more landing in Victor’s arms as he caught his foot on a loose piece of wood where the tread split.  He turned to study it and Victor frowned before ducking away. The Russian soon returned with Toshiya’s tool kit and began securing the tread. “Your papa may want to redo it later but at least you shouldn’t fall.  Are you okay?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I guess that’s what has been tripping me.”  Regarding the Russian, he added, “I didn’t know you could work with tools.”

 

Victor chuckled.  “Every time I grew still, I think your papa handed me another tool.”

 

Yuuri smiled softly, his eyes dropping to the floor.  “He did the same for me as well...he always knew how to let me work through what was on my mind without intruding.”

 

“You have a good papa.  Mine...they were good, too.  Evgeni was an artist. He showed me how to use the chisels he carved with.  Gavriil was a teacher...he often came after hours to tutor the skaters at the rink.”

 

“You miss them,” Yuuri whispered.

 

Victor nodded, a sad smile on his lips.  “But I wouldn’t trade my time with them.”

 

Yuuri tugged at his sleeve and nodded.  “I didn’t mean to sleep so long.”

 

Victor watched the younger man struggle with his emotions, “It’s fine, Yuuri...I suspect you didn’t sleep well last night.  Yura and I walked to the Ninja Castle and caught a tour.”

 

Yuuri hugged himself and nodded.  As Victor started to move away, however, an involuntary whine slipped from Yuuri drawing his feet still.  Yuuri blushed, his shoulders hunching into himself. Victor came to him and pulled him into his arms and then he felt Yuuri’s hand tugging at his shirt.  Reaching between them, he unbuttoned the collar allowing Yuuri to move it aside.

 

Yuuri shivered in his arms as he breathed in Victor’s scent and Victor couldn’t discern the feeling behind it.  “Did you have another nightmare while you napped?”

 

Yuuri slowly shook his head.  “Too much...distance…” he confessed.

 

Victor held onto him and walked them both into the family room, settling Yuuri into the oversized sofa.  He sat next to him, gathering Yuuri back into him. Resting his cheek into the brunette’s hair, he held onto him as Yuuri pulled his shirt to the side and relaxed against in his scent.  Finally, Yuuri sat up and Victor held his face between both hands studying him.

 

“I guess we have put an invisible barrier up with Yura’s visit...I don’t know why.”

 

Yuuri shrugged, his chin dropping as Victor released him.  He curled into the older man’s side resting his head on the Russian’s shoulder.  “It feels weird to go in your room with him here. Or...I don’t want to make it weird for him.”

 

“I get that...but I don’t like to see you in this state.  You can come in and if he’s uncomfortable, well, he’s the one that came without invite.”  Victor winced recalling that was precisely how he got there as well.  "And always...if you need my scent..."

 

Sighing, Yuuri shifted the conversation.  “I...talked to Ciao Ciao yesterday.”

 

“Oh…”  Victor felt his stomach tighten.   _ Does Yuuri want to return to his old coach after the baby? _    He had to admit that he hadn’t considered that.

 

Yuuri snuggled into him as he nodded.  “I think...I needed to fix things.  I said some harsh things when he brought me home.  I...was upset and felt abandoned.  H-he just wanted me in a safe place.”

 

Victor realized Yuuri was struggling with his own guilt and how he expressed his anger.  “How did he take it?”

 

Yuuri half shrugged, keeping his face averted.  “He was okay with it.” Pulling back, he held Victor’s eyes.  “I...told him...that I was staying here...with you.”

 

A small blossom of hope bloomed in Victor’s chest... _ with you…   _ “Oh…”

 

Yuuri nodded slowly, “He was trying to decide on the new rink and...I needed to let him know.”

 

Victor’s hand moved up and down Yuuri’s arm.  “Did that upset you?” he finally asked.

 

Yuuri considered those words.  He knew it was a  _ yes  _ but indirectly.  _  What exactly upset me? _ _ I wasn’t upset that they were moving, and they wanted to include me, so it’s not like they were leaving me behind.  Am I just mad that my choices were being taken from me?  Am I angry that I had to be the one to leave?    _ “I think I realized how unsafe Detroit had become.  Do you think...there were others?”

 

Victor bit his lip trying to decide if he should reveal what he knew before he nodded slowly.  “I found other articles when I was trying to piece together what happened to you, before I came here.  I found two other articles with similar occurrences.  Both were college students, from your university.  The reporter said the college seemed to be the only connection.”

 

Yuuri hugged himself as he processed that information.  “I...block off new information when I’m under a lot of stress.  News sometimes triggers my anxiety.  I wish...I could identify him.  Maybe it would have helped.”

 

Victor sucked in a deep breath and let it out.  “I’m afraid he would not have let you go if you could.”

 

Those words sat between them and then Yuuri buried himself in Victor once more.  “I...don’t want to go back.”

 

Victor hugged him close.  “We’re here Yuuri...you, me, and baby girl…”

 

Yuuri remained still, saying nothing.  It took a few minutes before Victor realized that he had settled into a deep sleep.  He laid Yuuri back on the sofa, tucking a blanket around him. Thinning his lips, he decided on impulse to take off his shirt and placed it in Yuuri’s arms, positioned so his scent could comfort the omega.   _ Maybe that will help you rest more.  _  Smoothing his hair, he slipped out of the room sliding the doors shut.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri stretched into a long yawn and then, with a start, fully woke up, quickly realizing he wasn’t in his room.  Pushing the quilt back, he caught sight of the shirt, pulling it to his face and breathing in the scent. He felt himself relax instantly with the pheromones still rich in the fabric.   _ That’s why I slept so well. _  He untangled his legs from the quilt and folded it back up.  

 

The family part of the onsen was quiet.  The clock told him they were all over on the other side, preparing for the dinner crowd.  He felt disconnected from everyone, from his family, from Victor, even from himself.  Rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, he frowned feeling the prickle of the scar still in his skin.  The thought repeated itself.  _ Why is it still here? _

 

He rose from the sofa, still ghosting his fingers over the lingering scar on his neck.  Makka and Vicchan were curled up together in the corner and stood up as he walked towards the door.  “Do you want to go out?”  

 

Sighing heavily, he went to find his shoes.  Without saying a word, he clipped on the leads and slipped out the door.  He failed to see the small figure watching from the shadows.  The blonde, knowing Victor would worry, followed him.

 

Yuuri’s steps were aimless at first but then he found his direction approaching the part of town where the rink and the dance studio were located.  He stared longingly towards the rink but his hand rubbed circles on his tummy, reminding him it wasn’t worth the risk. He turned his steps towards the studio.  Reaching above the door frame, he found the key on the lip and unlocked the door. He replaced the key to its hiding place and set the lock on the door before closing it behind him.  The dogs trotted over finding a pillow in the corner. He smiled at their simplicity. They were happy to be anywhere he was. He had to love that loyalty.

 

He hadn’t thought to bring a bag when he started out, but still had Victor’s shirt tucked in his waistband.  It would have more give than the one he currently wore. Switching out one for the other, he took a deep breath of Victor’s scent as he pulled it on.  The t-shirt fabric pulled tight over his tummy. His shorts were rolled just below his belly. He kept his eyes from the mirrors.  _ Yuuko said something about maternity clothes the other day.  _  Hugging himself close, he sighed.  _  I’d rather wear Vitya’s clothes.  I wonder how his sweats would fit. _

 

He started stretching, dropping his phone into the speaker hookups and starting a  [ playlist ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0DQxI3KM7o) .  The music was...emotional, sad.  Yuuri cranked it up knowing Minako was out.  With it so loud, he didn’t hear the door open and close on the other side of the small studio.  With it so dim, he failed to see the small figure standing just in the shadows watching him.

 

He moved to the  [ music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vg-7FMiGww) , closing his eyes, fighting his own sorrow, baring his soul, trying to find his ground.  Even pregnant, Yuuri’s flexibility rivaled the blonde’s whose piercing green eyes watched the older man, appreciating the skill, the versatility.  He shrunk back into the dark of the studio, feeling guilty about intruding. However, he couldn’t retreat from the performance.  Yura spent enough time on the streets to recognize some dance styles that weren’t taught in a traditional ballet studio.  He knew Yuuri had it in him, recognizing some of the moves used on him in Sochi.

 

_ Sochi _ .  The little green eyes narrowed with memory.

 

That story was not the one painted to the public, the one Victor bore.   _ Why do you let him live this lie?  Somewhere inside you, don’t you know the truth? _

 

The lithe form was in a slow spin, his head spotting against the back wall for balance.  Suddenly the brown eyes darted to Yura’s face as Yuuri spotted him. Breathless he came to a halt, reaching for a towel and focusing on the youth.  “How did you get here?”

 

Yura backed further against the wall, the other man wasn’t angry, just upset at the invasion.  “I...um...I followed you.” The boy shifted, caught and guilty.  “I knew...the old man would be worried about you.”

 

Yuuri nodded, exhaling.  Yura could tell the breath came from exertion and not annoyance.  “I texted him just after I arrived.  He said if I wasn’t home after the dinner rush, he’d come over.”  Drinking down half a bottle of water, he set it aside and asked, “Do you...want to dance?”

 

Yura looked around like a small caged animal, shrugging, then nodded to the speakers.  “What are you listening to?”

 

Yuuri focused on the music, realizing the shift in the  [ tone ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIvW4IBGNsE) and shrugged.  “Some experimental stuff.  My mood keeps changing.”

 

The blonde studied him knowing he’d be playing death metal in his shoes.  “Do you ever...just want to be angry?”

 

Yuuri stilled, his eyes becoming unfocused as he stared at the wall.

 

Yura panicked that he pushed when he shouldn’t have.  “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said anything.”

 

Rubbing the bondmark, Yuuri shook his head.  “How...do you know?”

 

Voice quiet, Yura whispered, “I grew up on the streets.  You learn to notice things, to survive.”

 

Yuuri nodded accepting his words.  Returning to the dance floor, he sat down and moved into a straddle, easing into a split.

 

“It’s just that...my mom...she was like you,” the blonde continued, following Yuuri to the polished floor.

 

Yuuri didn’t say anything, focusing on the stretch, but Yura knew he was listening.

 

The little blonde crouched down, loosing up his hips, “She...well, my  _ sperm donor _ , he beat the shit out of her.  But she was trying to get away when he...you know…”  He watched the other man, still, staring straight ahead.  “She...she gave up after that.  I ended up living with my grandpa.”

 

“Did he...mark her?” Yuuri whispered, his hand fluttering to the back of his neck.

 

Yuri grimaced and nodded.  “I saw pictures of her when she was pregnant with me.  She...looked lost.  I could see the mark.  I don't know if it was then...or earlier.”

 

Yuuri took a deep breath and then let it out slowly.  “What...do you want from me?”

 

The boy sunk down, abandoning the premise of stretching to just sit.  He pulled his hoodie back, the blond hair shining under the dim lighting.  “I want you...to fight...to show me that the monsters don’t always win,” he whispered.

 

Closing his eyes, Yuuri worked at swallowing the sob.  “Sometimes...they win.”

 

Yura surged forward, but caught himself before entering the other man’s space.  “But you...you survived.  That means...they didn’t win.”

 

Yuuri blinked at those words, sliding his hand over his tummy.   _ I hadn’t thought of that.  Can just surviving be an act of defiance?   _ “I have to live.  I’ve got her.”

 

“Mom had me...it wasn’t enough.”  The green eyes burned with a passion that frightened and challenged Yuuri.

 

Yuuri tried to process the words into his reality.  “Your mom...did she love you?”  He closed his eyes, wincing at the harshness.  But those words were out before he could stop them.

 

Those words took the blond by surprise.  “I...used to not think so.  But Victor...he told me that she must have loved me.  She made sure I had someone to take care of me when she couldn’t take care of herself.”

 

Yuuri let those words settle over him.  “She had a choice whether or not to bring you into the world...I don’t know if I had a choice, I’d still be pregnant,” Yuuri admitted.

 

The boy considered those words feeling a disquiet inside.  “But now...you love her now, don’t you?”

 

Yuuri hesitantly nodded, a tear sliding down his cheek.  Pulling his ankles into a butterfly, he looked up at the blonde.  He then shook his head, shrugging, “But...she’s Victor’s.”  He forced a smile, almost like he was convincing himself.

 

Yura chewed his lip knowing the truth, seeing clearly that the other man was hanging onto that lie even as it ran threadbare.  He needed to know that Yuuri would keep her, love her, even after learning the truth. “What if...she’s not?”

 

Yuuri pulled back, his eyes lost focus and his breathing quickened.  He began shaking his head.  _ No no no no. _  “I...no, they gave me Plan B.  She has to be his.”

 

The blonde listened as the words tumbled out fast and almost without meaning, like a mantra the man repeated for himself often to convince himself.  He stared at Yuuri for a moment, his brow knitted with worry before nodding.  “I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have said that.  I didn’t mean to...I’m sorry.”

 

Yuuri stood up abruptly needing to get of there, no longer feeling the retreat in the space.  “I want to go home now.”

 

Yura was sorry he had pushed.  He wanted more time with Yuuri, he felt a warmth, and a comfort with this man that he didn’t find with many others.  They returned in silence but Yuuri’s upset came off of him in waves.  Back home, Yura ran to get Victor.  Explaining the conversation, he added in a rush, “I...didn’t mean to upset him.”

 

Victor sighed and went to get Mari who took over waiting tables telling Yura he was in charge of towels.  He found Yuuri in the living room wrapped in the quilt from earlier, the room now shadowed, the sky darkening with a pending storm.  “Yuuri…”

 

The omega looked up and gave him a sad smile.  “Yura...he’s had a hard life.”

 

Victor came into the room, sitting on the edge of the sofa.  “He told you?”

 

“About his mother...yes…”  Yuuri faced the window, watching for the storm headed his way.  “Would I have been like that?  If you didn’t come that day, would I have...given up?”

 

Victor shook his head, putting a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder slowly, making sure the other man was comfortable with the touch.  “I don’t think so.  You had a lot of support around you.”

 

Yuuri turned to face him, his expression hard as he studied the man before him.  “You...tell me what I want to hear.”  He wasn’t angry, but he was frustrated. He didn’t want to be treated like he was weak.  Not anymore.

 

Victor’s breath caught, knowing Yuuri saw right through him.  He scrambled out an excuse. “I needed you to hold on...just like I do now.”

 

Yuuri gave him a strange look but didn’t comment on his words.   “I was...bad.  I could have...lost her.  I had...given up.”  Turning back to the window, he continued, “I couldn’t look beyond myself...beyond my pain.”  His voice grew distant. “Yura asked if I love her...and I do.” Victor watched Yuuri’s reflection in the window, the brown eyes closing in pain.  “Is it because of her...or because she’s yours?”

 

Victor sighed, moving closer to Yuuri slowly he turned the man in his arms.  “Yuuriii...that moment when you first heard her heartbeat, did you think about me...or her?”

 

Yuuri sucked back a sob, tears freely falling down his face.  “I was so afraid I had hurt her.  I panicked when I found out I was pregnant.  So willing to give her up at all costs.  I don’t...I can’t even think about what I wanted when I first learned about her.  She wasn’t real.  I don’t know...but at that moment, listening to her little heart flutter, I thought about her.”

 

Victor smiled, running a thumb over Yuuri’s cheek and catching some of the tears, “Perhaps loving her made her Real.”

 

“Like...the Velveteen Rabbit,” Yuuri whispered.  His hand covered Victor’s hand on his cheek.  “You love her, too.”

 

Victor felt his own breath hitch at that, realizing how much he loved the little girl as well.  “I do...more than anything, I love her.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes glowed, then something almost frantic flickered in them, “Because she’s yours?”

 

Victor’s blue eyes closed and he pulled Yuuri into an embrace, brushing his lips into Yuuri’s hair.  “Because she’s...her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lie is still out there...Victor gave himself away (he really is a lousy liar) but Yuuri wasn't ready to let go of it. But time is running out and 28 weeks is approaching. What more will Yura's presence reveal?


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor loves this baby so much! And the baby mama...what will they name her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to post yesterday! But here I am. :) There will be another tomorrow but I still want to hear from you all! But so much flooofy goodness! With a little angst...for balance. ;)

* * *

 

Yuuri rolled out of bed all grumbly.  Sleeping all day had its disadvantages, and an overslept Yuuri was just as bad as an underslept Yuuri.  He stepped out and spotted Victor’s door open, the older man stretched across his bed reading. He turned his head and smiled towards Yuuri patting the bed beside him.  Yuuri crawled in next to him. “Let me read to our baby girl,” he greeted nuzzling into Yuuri’s tummy bringing out a giggle from the younger man. “I found this author...Jan Brett.  She has the most colorful illustrations in her stories. I ordered all of her books.”

 

“Vitya!” Yuuri chastised.

 

Victor chuckled.  “I want her to be surrounded with stories.  And even you can’t get mad about splurging on books!”  He then pulled one up on his iPad and began reading  _ The Mitten _ to the little one who immediately danced at the sound of Victor’s voice.

 

Yuuri smiled as he sat in the curl of Victor’s body, the silver head close to Yuuri’s tummy as he read, his voice a melodic cadence visibly taking away Yuuri’s grumbles and groans.  Reaching down with a soft smile, he smoothed Victor’s silver hair. As Victor read, the little form within him danced and responded as the Russian’s voice rose and fell with the narration.  Yuuri felt warmth grow inside of him and he knew he wanted this picture of family he held at that moment.

 

* * *

  
  


Yura sat across from Yuuri working through a series of stretches while Victor talked with Minako, an hour and a half of dance was behind them and while the boy was out of breath, the Japanese man seemed refreshed, the  _ pregnant  _ Japanese man.  The blond was impressed with the stamina Yuuri still possessed, but also the flexibility he demonstrated, even with the substantial baby bump.  Watching Yuuri walk his hands forward in a straddle stretch Yura grimaced, thinking how Lilia would howl to see him unable to do this while a very pregnant omega seemingly did it with little difficulty.   _ Lilia would love you, your artistry and discipline...and she would just love your soul.   _ “So...what are you going to name her?” he asked suddenly.

 

Yuuri looked up, his mouth open and eyes wide.  “Oh...ummm…” He looked up at Victor who stopped talking at the mention of a name.  “I...we...haven’t thought about it.”

 

Yura snorted.  “I was worried you were going to follow in your friend’s shoes and call her Salchow.”

 

“Don’t be silly, Yura,” Victor breezed in smoothly.  “My baby girl will be called Flip, of course.”

 

Yuuri glared at Victor.  “You are not calling our baby Flip!”

 

Victor’s eyes danced happily.   _ OUR baby.  _  As he met Minako’s eyes, he knew she read him.  His glee was painted across his face. He controlled himself as he turned back to Yuuri, “What about Sonjia after Sonjia Henney?”

 

Yuuri huffed.  “The figure skater Hitler liked?  Yeah, I’m Japanese and World War II isn’t really good history here…”  He leaned to the side, breathing in his stretch. Yura’s eyes went from one to the other.

 

Not put off by the snark, Victor asked, “What would you name her?”

 

Yuuri stilled for a moment, brown eyes lifting up to meet the blue.  “If we are going for figure skaters, why not Shizuka after Arakawa, the first Japanese skater to win gold in the Olympics,” Yuuri dipped into a stretch in the opposite direction.  “The way she bounces around, she has to be either a skater or a dancer.”

 

“I still stand by the name Flip...at least as a nickname,” Victor teased.  He caught Yuuri’s glare but could see the twitch on Yuuri’s lip as he fought a smile.

 

“So...will she have Victor’s name?” Yura asked.

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened as he sat up.  “We...haven’t talked about it. How would that...even work?”  He turned to Victor unsure.

 

“Let me see...if we go with European and Russian traditions, Shizuka Victoryevna Katsuki-Nikiforova.”

 

Yuuri frowned as he considered the naming.  “That’s a mouthful.”

 

Minako watched Yuuri, the telltale signs of him becoming overwhelmed were evident.  She quickly brought the subject back to something smaller, working on the first name only.  “Shizuka...quiet summer...or quiet fragrance...how would you spell it, Yuuri?” Minako asked, getting into the naming game.

 

Yuuri drew his legs together and accepted Victor’s help up from the floor.  “She’ll be born at the end of August...it’s still summer at that point...but I like the way scents calm a person...or at least it can.”  Yuuri blushed even as he started to hide in Victor’s shoulder.

 

“Can you show me?” Victor asked after Yuuri settled.

 

Yuuri picked up a sharpie from Minako’s desk and wrote out the Kanji:  勝生 静香. Victor stood behind him and traced the letters. He recognized Yuuri’s surname in the symbols but seeing it all together, the elegant letters forming such a beautiful name.  His arms slid around Yuuri. The smaller form stiffened and Victor turned questioning eyes. Yuuri took measured breaths as he forced himself to quiet down. “Are you okay?” Victor murmured.

 

“I...don’t know,” Yuuri admitted.  Victor slowly let him go, studying Yuuri’s demeanor and watching to make sure he settled.  “I think...I need some fresh air.”

 

The older two men left the room leaving Yura behind, confused green eyes meeting brown.  “What just happened?”

 

“I don’t know,” the ballet teacher admitted in equal confusion.

 

* * *

  
  


Outside, Victor stood in front of Yuuri holding his hands as he guided Yuuri through his breathing.  As the omega calmed, Victor pulled him into his arms. “I never really thought about it before...and maybe you haven’t either.  You always turn...towards me.”

 

Yuuri hesitated but then nodded.  “I think...it’s because he came from behind.”

 

Victor sighed, hating that Yuuri went through so much pain.  “I’m sorry...I’ll be more conscientious of where I stand.”

 

Yuuri drew in a shaky breath then let it out.  “H-how am I going to do this? How do I handle the stress of competition, skating with twenty people on the ice, all flying around at top speed, having to watch out for dozen of people at a time?  How can I compete when I can’t even handle someone standing behind me without becoming a nervous wreck?”

 

“We’ll work on it,” Victor reassured him.

 

“How?” Yuuri repeated, the frustration evident in his voice.

 

Victor took his turn, drawing in a deep breath.  “I don’t know. Maybe we need to talk to someone?”

 

Yuuri shook his head and Victor could see the stubborn set of his jaw.  “I’m not going to sit in a counselor’s office and relive this over and over.  I just want it behind me,” he insisted.

 

“Yuuri...perhaps there are different ways.  We...could try,” he suggested gently. “Chris’ mate...he’s a sex therapist.  He might...know of something.”

 

“Of course he is,” Yuuri said at first and then half turned his ear towards Victor.  “What...would he know?”

 

Victor knew it was almost impossible to get Yuuri to bend when he was set against something, this small glimmer of compromise was enormous.  “I’m not sure...but with your permission, I can ask. It doesn’t mean you have to do it...but at least you’ll know.”

 

Yuuri was quiet for a moment, Victor could see he was considering the offer.  “Do you have to...tell him a lot?”

 

“Even if I did, he won’t discuss it with Chris if that’s what you’re worried about.  I’ve shared several things with him and if I ask him as a therapist, he has maintained our confidence.”

 

Yuuri hesitantly nodded.  “I guess...it couldn’t hurt.”  He then buried himself back into Victor’s arms.  “I don’t want to stay like this.”

 

Victor held him tight in his arms.  “I will help you through this, my Yuuri.”

 

“I’m sorry...I freaked out earlier,” Yuuri whispered.

 

Victor sighed, resting his cheek on Yuuri’s head.  “Don’t be,  _ solnyshko _ .  You are allowed to feel what you need to feel.”

 

Peeking from Victor’s embrace towards the door, he whispered, “What’s Yura going to think?”

 

Victor sighed and couldn’t help the half smile.  “That I’m an asshole. Which is Yura speak for things are too close for comfort.”

 

“I...don’t know what to say,” Yuuri fidgeted.

 

Victor’s hand moved up and down Yuuri’s back.  “Just be you...and if he asks, just tell him you don’t want to talk about it.  He’ll respect that. I suspect he respects you more than most, and that’s saying something.”

 

Returning to the studio, though, Yura glanced their way but didn’t ask.  Minako gave Yuuri a concerned look, her eyes studying him...but she wouldn’t ask with Yura there.  Yuuri didn’t know what to tell her. Maybe he’d tell her that Victor suggested a therapist. He didn’t know.

 

* * *

  
  


In the solitude of his room, Victor called Lawrie directly.  It was code for keeping this between the two of them. Otherwise, he always went through Chris.  He heard Lawrie’s warm voice greet him down the line. “Vitya! What a surprise!”

 

Victor immediately relaxed, “Hi, Lawrie.  How are you?”

 

Lawrie huffed, but laughed.  “Ready to push this baby out...but really, I’m happier than ever.  How about you?”

 

Victor sighed and considered his own well being for the moment.  “It’s debatable.”

 

The man could hear the exhaustion in his friend’s voice, “And Yuuri?”

 

“He’s...why I’m calling.  Yuuri...he has nightmares.”  Victor shifted in his seat. “And he panicked earlier because I was standing behind him.”

 

Lawrie’s voice turned clinical without becoming cold, and Victor knew he was in his professional mode.  “I know he’s pregnant...is he in therapy?”

 

“He’s afraid he’d have to relive it over and over again...but he’s doing that anyway.  Probably every night.”

 

Lawrie was silent, thinking of what the other omega would be going through, hormonal changes and the stress of a pregnancy aside, the trauma would come through at its most vocal while he was asleep.  “His subconscious is trying to help him work it out...but he needs to get into therapy and really work through it. Given what you’ve learned, he’s probably suffering from PTSD.”

 

“PTSD,” Victor repeated, confused by the acronym.

 

“Post Traumatic Stress Disorder...because of his trauma, he’s dealing with the stress of the event over and over again.  This is what a good therapist can help him work through.”

 

“But he’s worried about repeatedly going through what has happened,” Victor argued.

 

“There are therapies that break it apart like that.  However, more and more we are looking at ways to prevent that.  Therapies like EMDR can reroute the memory in essence and help Yuuri to move past it.  As it is, he’s caught in a feedback loop.”

 

Victor was happy with the possibility of a therapy that would work for Yuuri, but he worried about losing the information in just a conversation.  “Okay...that’s a lot. Can you email me some links so I can share it with Yuuri?”

 

“Of course.”  Lawrie’s voice was warm, even when working.

 

Victor drummed his fingers on his desk.  Something else was bothering him. “What about the baby...will therapy hurt the baby?”

 

Lawrie sighed.  “There is always a risk, although as far along as Yuuri is at the moment, he should be safe.  Yuuri, if his therapy is mishandled, could go in drop. That’s why I’d choose his therapist carefully.”

 

Victor nodded then realized Lawrie couldn’t see him.  “Thank you. I’ll watch for your email.”

 

* * *

  
  


Victor was up late reading through the information Lawrie sent as Yura slept in the other room.  The blond had closed the door to shut out the light. Victor glanced at the door but didn’t worry about it.  The teen cast worried eyes towards Yuuri all evening but he was discreet enough to wait until Yuuri looked away.

 

Victor finally pulled off his reading glasses and slid his laptop under his bed, his eyes tired.  He wanted to give Yuuri the information he needed to make a good decision. Reaching for the lamp, he turned it off.

 

* * *

  
  


The night felt heavy as Yuuri shifted in bed.  The rain never came and the humidity clung closely.  His earlier panic caused him to sleep for most of the afternoon.  Now, he was restless. Too many emotions. His air conditioner blew into the room but didn’t settle the unrest in him.

 

Finally, he huffed climbing out of bed.  He’d had enough of this. His comfort lay sleeping one wall away.  Stepping with determination, he approached Victor’s door. This time, he knocked.  He heard feet on the floor and then Victor slid open the door. Yuuri could see the exhaustion etched into his face, feeling pangs of guilt as he studied the silverette before him.  The Russian hadn’t slept away the day. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri whispered.

 

Victor smiled tiredly.  “Don’t be...come to bed with me,” he invited stepping back.

 

Yuuri peeked inside the room and knew this wasn’t what he wanted.  Shaking his head, he took Victor’s hand pulling him back out into the hallway.  The older man didn’t protest, going willingly where Yuuri led and mentally prepared for another long night.  Yuuri then turned towards his own door.

 

“Stay with me…” he whispered as he guided Victor down the hall.  In his room, he led the Russian to his nest. “Please.”

 

Victor knew this wasn’t something Yuuri took lightly and he hesitated even with Yuuri’s invitation.  “Are you...sure?”

 

The Japanese man moved over and pulled back the quilt.  “Please,” he whispered.

 

Victor climbed into the nest careful not to disrupt the walls.  Not wanting to upset the omega, he moved cautiously until he was stretched out on his side facing Yuuri.  The omega scooted over and Victor felt more than a sense of relief to have Yuuri in his arms. Yuuri nuzzled into Victor’s neck, breathing in the wintry fir scent.  Feeling Yuuri relax in his embrace, Victor answered with a kiss on his head. Yuuri blinked as he worked up the courage for his next move, leaning in and brushing his lips next to Victor’s gland.

 

Victor gasped, his arms tightening, dipping down to kiss Yuuri’s forehead.  Yuuri tilted his head and pressed a kiss along Victor’s jaw. Victor guided Yuuri’s head back but fell short of his lips, kissing the tip of his nose.  Yuuri whined and leaned his head back, his lips open, inviting and Victor closed the distance.

 

Exhaustion went on hold as Victor savored the kiss, the dry lips of his lover giving to his exploration as Victor’s tongue dipped inside.  Yuuri’s fingers tightened into the loose fabric of Victor’s t-shirt, taking the kisses, trading back with his own, staying close to the surface but timidly tracing the inside of Victor’s lip.  Finally, he broke the kiss, snuggling down into Victor’s arms.

 

“Sleep, Vitya...we’ll talk...tomorrow.”  A gentle hand pushed Victor into the mattress before Yuuri wound around him.  “I know you’re tired.”

 

Victor couldn’t argue.  He gave into the plea at peace with the omega finally in his arms.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri slowly came to consciousness, the light on the other side of his lids telling him they slept into the morning.   _ They _ .  Yuuri wasn’t alone in his nest, the hand languidly moving up and down his arm stood testament.  Peeking between his lashes, he made out the pattern of Victor’s shirt, a button digging into his cheek.  He slowly stretched and groaned as he sat up.

 

“Good morning,” Victor greeted, his voice tender.  Yuuri could feel the softness of the other man’s emotions.  “Did you sleep well?”

 

Yuuri nodded, words difficult to work out in the morning.  “Time?” he managed after a moment.

 

“Late...I think it’s been a couple of hours since I heard Yura get up and move around.”

 

Yuuri ran his hand through his hair before turning to rest his eyes on Victor.  In his bed. In his nest.  _ Shit!   _ His fingers went to his lips.   _ We kissed.  Shit!  _  His hand moved to his stomach.  Then that audible growl forced movement.  “I think...we’re hungry,” Yuuri admitted.

 

“Then we should take care of that,” Victor responded, sitting up and then helping Yuuri out of bed.  “We can’t have Flip starve.”

 

Yuuri leveled a stare at Victor.  “You are not calling our daughter Flip.”

 

Victor just laughed.  “We’ll see.”

  
  


_____

**NOTES:**

 

For those who read my stories, you will already be familiar with EMDR...or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.  I keep returning to this therapy because of a statement from a friend who said she went through several therapies trying to get past her sexual trauma but it wasn’t until she had EMDR did she truly move into recovery.  SO are there other routes, yes...and they are likely good routes. However, why prolong pain if it can be dealt with quickly?

 

[ EMDR Client Handout ](https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/EMDR.pdf)

 

[ What is EMDR? ](https://www.restorecounsel.com/uploads/2/6/2/8/26281155/brochure_-_emdr_-_for_clients.pdf)

 

[ EMDR Institute ](http://www.emdr.com/)

 

[ Client EMDR Handbook ](http://www.lynnjames.net/Lynn_James_Counseling/Client_Information_files/Client%20EMDR%20Handbook_ver3.pdf)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do collect Jan Brett books but I do not have all of them. :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yura's last day...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much floofy goodness here as well! Enjoy!

* * *

 

Yura kept casting eyes towards the couple, clearly seeing the shift in their relationship.  The little blonde didn’t miss the way they interacted, the small signs of support shown between the two.  Of course, watching them coming down together after a night spent in Yuuri’s nest gave him some idea. The blush that seemed to permanently dust Yuuri’s cheeks only supported that idea.  Thankfully, the room was secure for an omega and Yuri was spared having to hear anything.

 

After breakfast, he grumpily followed them to practice.  It was his last day and the two of them were so wrapped up in each other he felt like a third wheel.  When Victor was supposed to be calling out corrections to him, he was instead watching the pi... _ Katsudon _ like a lovesick puppy.  When they were close to one another, they traded touches, hands brushing over one another.

 

So of course Yura was making gagging motions.

 

Of course he was more than a little surly.

 

And of course Katsudon noticed when Victor was too wrapped up to do so, whispering something in Victor’s ear that caused them to rein in their behavior.

 

Victor turned to Yuri, beaming, “Yura, my Yuuri thought we might grab a picnic and spend the evening on the beach.”

 

The blond folded his arms on his chest and made a face.  “And watch you two go lovey dovey all evening? No thank you!” he called back, skating away.

 

However, he kept an eye on the couple and saw Katsudon skate over, a shy smile on his face.  Yura huffed, because who could say no to that face. Side-eying the Old Man, he sighed. Nope, he couldn’t...and certainly, the old man was weak for it.  “I promise it will be fun. It’s your last night,” Yuuri said softly, those brown eyes more than a little beguiling.

 

It wasn’t the first time Yura thought omegas had secret powers.  Things they didn’t share with others. A spell cast here. A charm there.  And a Grumpy Kitten relented. “Fine!” At least he had enough attitude to save face.

 

* * *

  
  


Victor tried to corner Yuuri for a talk but the ravenette would cast an eye towards the blond and murmur, “Your guest is leaving tomorrow.”

 

He was right and manners dictated that Victor give Yura the attention he needed.  Victor pouted, sometimes doing the right thing, doing the adult thing, was not easy.  He wanted to give Yura the one-on-one time the teen needed, so Victor decided to do something more social, something they had never done together in Russia.  So he invited Yura to go shopping.

 

By this point, Victor knew where the best shops and street vendors in Hasetsu were located.  Yuuri held back, watching them browse through the wares with a soft expression. Victor glanced back with concern every so often, worried about tiring his Yuuri.  But the omega was conscious of his energy and took a break in a frozen yogurt shop sending them on their way with a promise to catch up when he felt refreshed.

 

Victor finally found the treasure trove shop he sought, remembering that he made note of it when he discovered it.  The surly green eyes peeked out from the under the hoodie to widened in amazement and a childish joy at the sight. So many cat prints, the teen was soon lost in it.  Victor smiled as Yura responded to the prices. Well within his range. Not that the kitten lacked sponsors. Victor had trained him well and he was now quite self-sufficient.  But sometimes a life scraping by made it hard to let go of economy.

 

They stepped out of the shop, Yura now sporting a new jacket, two sweatshirts in one bag and three new t-shirts and a pair of cheetah print jeggings in the other.  Victor didn’t know where he went wrong when it came to teaching the boy taste but at least he had his own style.

 

Yuuri was standing outside of a shop across the street.  Victor came up beside him and murmured, “Do you want to go inside?”

 

Chewing his lip, the beautiful omega ran his hand over his tummy.  The little dresses and shoes on display were all frills and lace. Slowly, he nodded.

 

Victor called over to Yura, “We’re going in here.”

 

The blond turned to see the shop, “Yeah, yeah...I’m on my way.”  He wanted to lag behind, allowing the Old Man and Katsudon a moment in this store together.

 

Inside the boutique, Yuuri almost walked out at the prices but Victor stilled his motions.  “Let me do this...what do you want?”

 

Fingers drifted over the fabrics, the cotton knits soft to the touch, prints in every style.  His eyes kept drawing to the blues and purples and pinks. They didn’t notice the blond over in the animal prints, Victor’s attention riveted on the ravenette.  “Maybe...something special?” Yuuri murmured.

 

He then saw a dress.  The fabric of the overlay, an iridescent shade of blue that shifted in the light to show pinks and purples smocked at the top with intricate embroidery.  His fingers toyed with the hem, straightening it up. Victor quietly signaled the sales associate nodding to the dress as Yuuri pulled back. The silverette read the expression, a war between too much and economy.  The associate lifted the dress and carried it to the counter along with several accessories she thought they might want. 

 

Past the clothes, Victor’s eyes lit up at the soft toys but his eyes were held by a small hand stitched  [ bunny ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/d7/e8/1e/d7e81e099d7963459e227c77a3e3d763.jpg) with a purple crocheted flower by its ear, the longest ears.  Picking it up, he studied the attachments making sure nothing would come off in baby’s mouth.  The saleslady smiled warmly telling him the babies liked this bunny, the ears went straight in the mouth.  Victor decided, imploring to Yuuri that “every baby needs a friend.”

 

Yuuri was surprised to see the blond checking out at the counter of the baby shop and then Victor as well, who had quietly selected several things and agreed on more of the associate’s suggestions.  The omega shifted uncomfortably, not used to spending money like this nor shopping in this manner. Victor left the shop happy with his selections, however, leaning in to brush a kiss into Yuuri’s hair.  “I know it feels like a lot...but in retrospect, I’ve spent more on a pair of shoes.”

 

Yuuri didn’t doubt it.  His hand strayed into the bag, fingers brushing over the fabric of one of the onesies.  The softness soothed him. Perhaps he could get used to Victor’s spending habits, or better still. he could help curb them.  He just worried that Victor hadn’t taken into account the fact that he wasn’t working at the moment. Not really...beyond room and board with the Katsukis.  His sponsors would only tolerate his absence for so long. Yuuri sighed thinking of his spendthrift boyfriend,  _ At least ice is free _ .

 

Yuuri didn’t realize that Victor had paid up through the year at the rink.  Yuuko had argued at first but Takeshi appreciated it. They didn’t mind supporting their friend but the facility took money to run and Takeshi’s sharp eye on the books was well aware of its financial needs.

 

* * *

  
  


Back at the onsen, they all settled into Victor’s room keeping Yura company while he packed.  Victor noticed the gift bag tucked into the room where the boy slept. Green eyes met his meaningfully.  The blond didn’t want a fuss but wanted to leave something behind...for the baby. 

 

Yuuri laid curled up on the oversized bed, the bunny in his hands as he traced out the features with his fingers.  Sighing, he turned to Victor as he felt the older man’s hand run down his side. “I may need a nap before tonight.”

 

“Then rest, my Yuuri.”

 

His eyes fluttered closed as Victor’s hand carded through his hair, humming a soft melody that drifted in and out of Yuuri’s dreams.  Yuuri brought the bunny into his body unconsciously tucking it in where it would be surrounded by his scent. Victor couldn’t resist taking a picture, creeping away to grab his phone.

 

Yura rolled his eyes but Victor caught the telltale smile as he turned his head.  Leaning against the facing, of the blond’s door, he asked in a whisper, “What did you get him?”

 

“Something with a little more fashion sense than you two idiots,” Yura hissed.  But he reached towards the bag. Inside, he pulled out a  [ onesie ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a7/ed/63/a7ed63514d66a518adf5bd7a74b72a3f.jpg) with a cheetah print rumba panty, a  [ cheetah print dress ](https://www.nordstromrack.com/shop/product/2424340?cm_mmc=feeds-_-adlucent-_-google-_-pla&utm_source=adlucent&utm_medium=feeds&utm_content=google&utm_campaign=pla&utm_channel=shopping_acq_p&sid=545650&aid=%5BADL%5D%20%5BPLA%5D%20%5BShopping%5D%20-%20Categories%20-%20Non-Brand%5BDesktop%5D&gclid=CjwKCAjwy_XaBRAWEiwApfjKHvhxJGKzbrGJKtrQFFVqkCtsvXlxI2K1U0AoEW25-pXX6aY1yQ3FWRoC13MQAvD_BwE&kwid=productads-adid%5E93310059157-device%5Ec-plaid%5E186549269797-sku%5E14338847-adType%5EPLA&color=LEOPARD) with kitten pockets and a coordinating pink panty, and of course, a  [ stuffed tiger ](http://cdn1.bigcommerce.com/n-ww20x/ag5o99/products/1616/images/3278/066269_l__02343.1384492646.490.588.jpg?c=2) .

 

Victor admired the gifts and murmured, “This baby is going to be so spoiled.”  His eyes trailed to the sleeping omega.  _ Please keep her...my heart will break if you give her away. _  However, Victor was still resolved to let her go if that was what Yuuri decided.

 

Yura noticed the shift in mood and raised a curious eyebrow.  Victor nodded towards the door and once the gifts were rebagged, they slipped outside and walked down the stairs.  “I don’t know if he will keep her,” Victor confessed as they landed on the first floor.

 

The little blond understood his friend’s worry but he considered the omega’s situation, “He thinks she is yours...I think he’d keep her with that thought in mind.”

 

Victor turned meaningful eyes in Yura’s direction.  “I have to tell him the truth, Yura...he deserves to know.”

 

Victor may be the only one ever privileged to witness the pouts that would form in the blond.  Normally covered with brusk words and prickles, the older Russian could see the hurt in the boy’s eyes as he struggled with his emotions.  “But he...he loves her.”

 

Victor reached out a hand, placing it softly on the slender boy’s shoulder, “And if he gives her up, it is with no less love,” Victor reminded him gently.  “She was conceived in pain, in terror. Yuuri has to be able to let that go if he is to keep her. And I worry...that my lie is only prolonging that pain.”

 

The blond considered those words.  “He’s just like my mama…”

 

“She loved you, too...it’s just that her pain was too big.”  They were outside, near where Mari would smoke. Victor had a lot of talks with her there, watching over poodles while they took care of their business.  Now, though, he grabbed hold of the privacy and pulled the child into his embrace. It had been hard for him to leave this one behind in Russia, he didn’t know how hard it had been for the boy to remain behind.

 

Yura was stiff at first then gave into it.  Victor let him hide his tears, his own pain.  How many times had this boy been rejected, pushed aside, discounted before they found him?  Victor remembered the moment he discovered the child. The others had been picking on him. The lessons were a gift from his grandpa but the boy was dirty and wild.  Victor knew the lessons were a sacrifice.

 

Victor had called out to Georgi that he’d be back, taking the boy back to the locker room and cleaning him up a little, giving him a chance to hide his tears.  Victor wasn’t finicky as much as others might think that he was. He didn’t shrink back from the boy and the little bit of grime.

 

“Do you like to skate?” Victor asked as he wiped Yuri’s face.

 

The boy hesitantly nodded.  “But we can’t afford it...my grandpa sold piroshkis for a month for these lessons.  I-it was for my birthday.”

 

“Let me sponsor you,” Victor suggested, using his words to keep the boy focused on him and not on the brisk movements cleaning him up.

 

Yura shook his head, pride straightening his tiny shoulders.  “I’m not a charity case.”

 

Victor laughed at that.  “I’m not suggesting that you are...I have sponsors that make it possible for me to skate.  I’m just...paying it forward.”

 

Victor met Yura’s grandpa after that, the man wanting to know about the Alpha taking an interest in his grandson, making sure he was a good man.  Victor opened doors of opportunity for the child, bringing him in to meet Yakov, asking the old coach if he saw what Victor saw. He was rough, like a diamond just dug out of the mud.  He would require polish, some hard cuts...but Yakov agreed...the boy had a potential to shine.

 

And Victor took him under his wing, making sure he had the lessons to support him as well as the necessary equipment.  He drove out to pick him up until Yura was old enough to ride the bus alone. And finally Yura could stand on his own, Russia had chosen to sponsor him.  He moved into the dorms and with Victor’s guidance, picked up private, commercial sponsors.

 

Yura was worth every bit of the investment.  He would take Russian figure skating to the next generation and his background was inspiring the young students just starting out.

 

The boy in his arms at the moment pulled back, straightening himself and setting his expression.  “I know I have to go back tomorrow…”

 

“I’m only a call away,” Victor reminded him.  “You’re growing up. I was every bit on my own at your age.”

 

Yuri shrugged, “Well...you had Makkachin.”

 

Victor nodded.  They each carried their own sadness inside.  Glancing up towards the window to Yuuri’s room, he knew that one held more.  “I have to stay.”

 

The green eyes followed Victor’s to the spot where they had settled, “I know...I just...I want him to keep her.”

 

“I do, too...but it’s not my decision.”

 

Yura nodded in agreement...he knew as well that the Japanese skater had a lot to handle.  “I guess...we wait and see.” As they walked back, he added, “He does seem to love her.”

 

Victor side hugged him and murmured, “It was never a question of love.”

 

* * *

  
  


Hiroko fussed as she helped Yuuri assemble the picnic.  “I’m glad you’re going out like this. You need to have more fun.”

 

“I don’t hear you saying that to Mari,” Yuuri teased.

 

Hiroko felt a lightness bloom in her heart.  Yuuri was becoming more himself.  _ Would he keep that once he learned the truth? _  She sighed, tucking that thought away.  “Mari has plenty of fun. She was just at a concert last week.”

 

Both of her children, for the longest time, showed no inclinatinations towards relationships.  Happy with a few good friends and family, they focused on work and scattering a few good memories along the way.  Now that her youngest found his heartsong, she wondered if her oldest would finally open up. Mari spent her life focused on her little brother’s happiness.  They all did...but for Mari, it was almost a mission.

 

Yuuri had raised an eyebrow at that statement, regarding his mother as he packed the last bento into the basket.  The beach blanket was folded on top. “I think Mari doesn’t have too much fun. I think...she’s watched over me too long.  I’m okay...she can let go now.”

 

So her son had noticed.  Most thought he didn’t see things.  But Hiroko knew he took his time to work things out because he saw deeper than most.  “I know, sweetheart. You are so very strong. So very courageous.”

 

Yuuri blushed, his expression becoming bashful.  “Maybe not all that. But...I can take care of myself...and those around me.”  He shrugged and grinned. “I was made team mom for a reason in Detroit.”

 

The fact that her son didn’t shrink at the mention of Detroit was progress.  She’d grab hold of any sign of healing that she could. Her son would be okay.  She called out the door to Victor. “Will you carry this basket?”

 

“Of course!”  He came in and scooped it up.  “Yuuri will have his hands full with our poodles anyway.”

 

Yuuri felt that smile becoming more comfortable on his lips.  Yura came down the stairs and looked at Yuuri critically. “No swim trunks?”

 

That smile slipped and Yuuri began to shift self consciously pulling at his t-shirt.  Victor’s arm rested around him, leaning in to murmur, “I have an extra pair if you want.  You can pair it with a t-shirt.”

 

Yuuri focused on relaxing his breathing but agreed.  They left Yura guarding the picnic basket and gathering up the dogs on leashes while Victor led him upstairs.  “I suppose baby is growing,” Victor began.

 

“Even my fat clothes are too tight,” Yuuri stated with a frown.  

 

Victor winced at the term  _ fat clothes _ but led Yuuri to the closet.  “You are welcome to borrow whatever you need from me, Yuuri...and maybe we can find you some better choices.  You have another two or three months and according to the book, that’s when baby really grows.”

 

“Three,” Yuuri stated firmly even as he accepted the trunks and t-shirt from Victor.  The older man didn’t argued, stepping out of the room to give him privacy.

 

Coming into the hallway, Yuuri still tugged self-consciously.  The band of the black shorts cradled the bottom portion of the baby bump but the plain gray t-shirt went just past his hips.  Victor’s different build gave Yuuri a little more generous give than his own clothes but Victor could tell the sleeve didn’t hit right on his shoulders and he knew his long sleeves would be too long on Yuuri’s smaller stature.  He hated that Yuuri saw himself as fat. Victor only saw a beautiful baby mama, all baby.

 

“They work fine, don’t they?” Victor encouraged with a smile.

 

Yuuri had only glanced at himself in the mirror, “I...guess.”

 

“Maybe that shop where we bought the baby clothes will know where we can find mommy clothes.”

 

Yuuri shrugged, not quite willing to give over to the idea of maternity clothes.  Victor sighed. He’d ask Yuuko what she thought.

 

* * *

  
  


At the beach, Yuuri spread out the quilt, setting the food aside before curving his feet beneath him.  Victor and Yura played in the surf splashing one another. Dogs ran at the waves barking and explored tidepools.  Before long, his smile found its way back as he watched them. Then Victor turned, his eyes focusing on the omega.

 

“Join us?”

 

Yuuri shook his head, nervously pulling on the t-shirt but then Victor was in front of him, his hand held out.  Pulling Yuuri to his feet, the younger man shifted instinctively into Victor’s space, the alpha taking him into his arms, gentle fingers moving up and down his back as Yuuri found his way to Victor’s scent.  Yuuri wrinkled his nose, the sting of salt water mixing in with Victor’s natural wintry scent was incongruous at first. However, as Yuuri settled into him, the scents melted into one another. Victor’s natural scent mixed so well with the smell of the sea and sand.   _ How would our scents combine? _

 

As Victor backed away, he took Yuuri’s hand pulling him to the water.  “I’ve got you...I won’t let you fall.”

 

_ It’s too late...and I’ve fallen too hard. _  His eyes held onto Victor’s, the promise those blue eyes always held for him.   _ Do you feel this way, too?  Even though...I’m just Yuuri and you’re Victor. _

 

Yuri greeted him with a splash startling him from his reverie.  Brown eyes shot his direction and then narrowed. “Oh, it’s on, Plisetsky!”  Somewhere along the way, Victor was left behind, Yuuri and Yuri trading shots back and forth.  Victor laughed in their wake happy to see Yuuri play.

 

They retreated up the beach eventually, enjoying the meals Yuuri prepared.  “Not bad, Katsudon,” Yura called out his approval.

 

Victor smiled warmly at the two men, his eyes lingering on the omega.  _  Will you let me sleep beside you tonight?  I want your closeness, your scent. _

 

The darkness finally reached them and Yura broke out the sparklers he found on their shopping trip.  Yuuri’s eyes lit up and soon they were dancing down the beach, dogs chasing after them, falling into a pile giggling.  Yuuri’s hand rubbed his tummy and both alphas looked at him with concern.

 

“Is she okay?” the boy asked, his expression worried.

 

Yuuri smiled.  “I think...she’s happy.  She seems to be dancing as much as us.”  Two hands were suddenly on his belly and Yuuri patiently guided them down to the movement.  “See how active she is? I think she is fine.”

 

The two alphas gently battled for the best view by touch of the tiny baby.  Yuuri giggled when their fingers hit sensitive spots on his stomach, but relaxed as he watched Victor’s face light up when joy as he felt movement under his palm.

 

They soon packed up, heading home.  Dogs and humans alike were tired.

 

* * *

  
  


They showered, getting ready for bed.  Victor had his door open waiting for Yuuri unsure of where they stood that night.  They still hadn’t talked and Victor began to worry. Yuuri was notorious about putting off serious talks.  Then Yuuri poked his head in, Victor’s pajamas bunching up around his feet, the sleeves falling down to his fingers.  With a quiet invitation, Yuuri met his eyes and held out his hand. Victor called his good night to Yura who waved him off with a huff and soon he was down the hall and in Yuuri’s room.

 

As the door closed, he was startled when Yuuri pressed him against the door, his lips hungrily seeking Victor’s.  As they broke apart for air, Victor’s thumbs smoothed away the damp hair that curled around Yuuri’s cheek. “We need to talk,” he stated hoping it wouldn’t put Yuuri off.

 

Yuuri took his hand and pulled him into the nest.  Victor followed willingly.  _  Damn, Yuuri… _

 

“I know,” the omega finally answered settling into Victor’s arms.  “I...couldn’t find the right time today. Yuri is leaving tomorrow and I didn’t want to waste his day.”

 

Victor breathed in the scent of the nest, a comforting mixture of his own scent with Yuuri’s which was becoming calmer, more secure.  “It’s fine...I just...I don’t want us to push the other further than we are comfortable. I want...to see where we both are in this.”

 

Yuuri fidgeted with the sleeve even as he stared at the ceiling.  “I...I don’t invite people into my nest. Not even during my heats.”

 

“I...know,” Victor said cautiously.  “I’ve never been in someone’s nest.” Taking a deep breath, he plunged in.  “I’ve had lovers in the past...but I’ve never found someone I wanted to stay close to...not until...now.  I never found someone I wanted to even stay throughout the night with...but I want that with you.”

 

“Even if there wasn’t a baby?” Yuuri tested, his eyes serious.

 

Victor nodded.  “I would have chased after you regardless.”

 

Yuuri considered his words carefully.  “I know...we’ve already…” He trailed off, tugging at his sleeve.  “It sounds strange after all of that...after…” He rubbed his hand over his tummy.  “I’m not ready yet...not for sex,” he rushed out before burying his head into Victor’s neck.  The alpha tightened his arms around Yuuri, pressing a kiss into his hair. “Is that...okay?” Yuuri asked peaking out.

 

“That’s why I wanted to talk.  To make sure you know that I value your choice.  I want you to be ready...when you’re ready. I don’t want you to push further than you are comfortable.”

 

Yuuri chewed his lip as he thought about his words.  “It might change tomorrow...but today...this is where I’m at.”

 

“Then...what do you want?  Me to hold you? Chase away your nightmares?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I want that...and…”  He twirled and tugged at his hair, his eyes shifting away from Victor.  “I want...you to scent me.”

 

Victor’s breath caught.  “I...want that too,” he breathed out.  “You...to scent me.”

 

They held onto one another’s eyes and then neither could say which made the first move.  They were enveloped in one another, kissing, wrists sliding over the other’s body beneath their shirts.  Then there was a pause and Yuuri hesitantly licked at the gland on Victor’s neck. The alpha tilted his head to give access.  “Please,” he whispered. Then Yuuri’s wrist slid over the moistened skin. Victor groaned, feeling them connect so intimately.  Yuuri tilted his neck to the side inviting the equivalent action. Victor glanced at the mark that remained so steadfast, refusing to let go and suppressed the growl within him.  Possessively, he bent over Yuuri, his tongue warming the gland and making it more receptive to his scent. He hoped it would take, that the alpha mark would not override it. Dr. Ito said it was as good as rejected, the mark was just slow to fade because of Yuuri’s hormones.  Sliding his wrist over Yuuri’s neck, the omega curled into him, a contented purr slipping from his lips. “My Yuuri,” he breathed out, his lips peppering the younger man with kisses.

 

“Vitya...my...Vitya,” Yuuri answered turning to capture those lips into a deeper kiss.  Yuuri sighed softly as the kiss released, settling beneath Victor’s chin. The day had been long and full but Yuuri felt content, happy...a smile not having to fight so hard to tug at his lips.   _ If this is a dream, don’t let me wake up. _

 

* * *

  
  


The next morning, the teen reluctantly dragged his suitcase down the stairs, an unhappy kawump with each step.  Victor offered to walk him to the station. Mari offered to drive him. He shook them all off. “I am fine on my own.”  However, at the door, he hesitated, looking at Victor expectantly.

 

“You call me when you get to the airport.  And when you reach Russia. I want to know you made it safely.  And next spring...you come to see me.”

 

Yura bit his lip.  Stepping closer he lowered his voice, “And you’ll give Katsudon the gift...if he keeps her?”

 

Victor nodded.  “I promise.”

 

Yura stepped outside and spotted Yuuri sitting on a bench, Vicchan on lead.  “Will you let me walk with you until I get to the studio?”

 

“I...umm...sure,” the teen agreed.  The fact that the studio was two blocks from the station meant nothing.  They walked in silence at first. Finally, the teen butted in. “He loves you, you know.  And that’s...not easy for him.”

 

Yuuri turned warm brown eyes his way, listening.

 

“I just...I don’t want to see him hurt.  He may be an asshole but...he’s looked out for me.”

 

“I don’t intend on hurting him,” Yuuri murmured.  “This whole situation, though...it still feels like part of my life is out of my control.”  He then smiled softly. “It’s better though...with him here.”

 

They walked for a few moments in silence.  Yuuri could tell that the teen had more to say but was working out the words.  Finally he whispered, “I wish...I could help.”

 

“You have helped,” Yuuri assured him.  “You may not have realized it, but you helped me think through some things.  It’s hard. I didn’t mean to be here at this place. I’m supposed to be getting ready for the next season.”

 

“It will be June tomorrow...she’s due at the end of August?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I am both scared...and can’t wait.  It’s so mixed up. But...I  _ do  _ love her.”

 

Yura felt a smile tug at his lips.  He needed to hear those words. “And monsters...don’t always win.”

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “I...haven’t fought that fight yet.  Up until now, it’s been survival.”

 

Yura studied him and then gave a firm nod.  “Should you take up the fight, I’ll stand beside you.”

 

“Thank you,” Yuuri murmured.  They stood facing each other, reluctant to part ways.  The studio behind Yuuri, the train station just down the way for Yura.  And then the teen lunged forward, hugging him close. “Oh! Okay.” Yuuri hugged him back resting his cheek into the blond hair.  “Be safe, Yura.”

 

“I will...and I’ll call when I get back.”  With a wave, he headed the rest of the way down the street.  Yuuri watched him until he disappeared before turning to the studio.  A smile rested on his lips.  _ Maybe...monsters don’t win. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe they don't...


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 28 Weeks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...the question remains. Will Victor tell him?

* * *

 

Victor looked at the calendar.   _ Twenty-eight weeks.  Third trimester. _  Yuuri was in the safe zone and the lie between them felt heavy.  He knew he could safely tell Yuuri the truth but secretly feared it.  Yuuri wasn’t in physical danger, but it was possible Victor was. The thought of losing Yuuri weighed heavily on his mind.

 

He watched his mate skating with Yuuko, their laughter telling him the topic was light.  Pulling out his phone, he decided to ask for his friends advice.

 

**Victor/ It’s 28 weeks.**

 

**Victor/ I’m scared to tell him the truth.**

 

**Chris/ You can either control the situation or let it come out naturally...but I know you Victor.  You can’t live a lie for long.**

 

**Lawrie/ You can’t shelter him from the truth forever.  It might be wise to have a counselor ready.**

 

**Victor/ How will I get him to a counselor if he isn’t talking to me?**

 

**Lawrie/ Don’t be dramatic.**

 

**Chris/ Oh, this is Yuuri.  There will be silence. But the cold shoulder does wear off.**

 

**Victor/ This will be hell.**

 

**Chris/ What are you going to do?**

 

**Victor/ Wait for just the right moment.**

 

**Chris/ Not that you’ll listen to me but...this is a bad idea.**

 

**Victor/ Not listening to you got me in this situation...why would it fix it?**

 

**Chris/ Vitya!  Yuuri isn’t going to take it well but the longer you wait, the more it will hurt.**

 

**Victor/ I think I’ve already passed that window.**

 

Victor watched Yuuri come to the edge of the ice and reached out to steady him.  Guiding him to a bench Victor helped him remove his skates. It was harder and harder for Yuuri to reach around his belly to his feet.  Rubbing the arches of Yuuri’s feet, Victor reached for the trainers and pulled them on before leaning rising up to kiss him.  _ Kissing Yuuri...I’m going to miss this. _

 

Sighing, he helped Yuuri to his feet.  The omega gave him a strange look. “Is everything okay?”

 

Victor shrugged, his eyes looking towards the door, his thoughts seeking a fast exit.  A hand rested on his forearm. “Are you worried about Yuri?” Victor blinked and didn’t answer but he could tell Yuuri assumed that was what was on his mind.  “He’ll call when he reaches Russia.”

 

“I know...it’s really far for him to travel on his own.”

 

Yuuri hugged him and for once, it was Victor seeking the comfort of the other man’s scent.  “I’m not easy with it either,” Yuuri admitted. “I even looked to see if one of us could get on the flight with him but it was booked.”  That brought a smile to Victor’s lips, that Yuuri cared so much about someone important to him.

 

“Thank you,” he whispered.

 

They walked back, Yuuri leaning into him.  “I’m doing less and less on the ice. Soon you’ll keep me from it entirely,” he pouted.

 

“I just want to make sure our little Flip is healthy,” Victor teased only to receive a groan in response. 

 

“You’re not going to let this go,” Yuuri complained.

 

Victor grinned, grabbing hold of the good moments in case he had to store them up for later.  “I love our baby Flip,” Victor whined dramatically, the sparkle in his eyes giving him away. But he caught the smile teasing at Yuuri’s lips just before the omega turned away.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri sat in his mother’s room, going through the box of fabric she picked from for quilting.  “What are you thinking to make?” she asked so she could help him.

 

“I want her to have something from me...no matter how this turns out.  Vitya...he has a stuffed bunny his mother gave him.” Yuuri picked up pieces, judging how soft and lasting they would be once worked into something.  He knew he wanted something that would survive a child’s hands, the fraying of multiple washing. Something that would last. “She should have something from me.”

 

Hiroko watched her son, he was picking fabrics that held scent the longest and her heart leapt with hope.  “Well, you could make a quilt or there are a number of easy patterns for toys.”

 

“I think...I might like to make a quilt.  Something simple. I can repair a costume but I don’t think I can do anything fancy.”

 

She tapped her lip thoughtfully, covering her smile.  Standing up, she went to her closet and pulled out a box full of mementos from the top.  Opening the box, she pulled out a baby quilt. “Your grandmother would embroider some of the most beautiful things but the stitches are simple.  This quilt has samples of a number of her  [ stitches ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/e1/15/93/e115936dca47ae9fa6d32be6b5f9b3e2--crochet-ideas.jpg) .  It’s called sashiko boro stitching and it’s also good for mending.  I had a number of my clothes that she’d cover up the tears with these stitches.  This blanket was...Mari’s.” Yuuri touched the find stitchwork. He wouldn’t have one.  He came after she passed away.

 

His face turned to a frown as self-doubt crept up around him.  “I don’t know if I could do that. It looks so intricate.”

 

Hiroko held onto the hope that he would take this, pass it on to his own child and build a family from the ashes.  “That’s the trick of it. And you don’t have to do all of them. Pick one. Like this  [ one ](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/424042121159372290/) .”  She showed him the pattern and the back side of it.  “You can start with basic straight stitches and then add the fancier patterns along the edges.”

 

Yuuri considered the patterns.  With some dark blue fabric in hand, he let his mother help him put the pieces together then get him started on the straight stitch using white cotton thread.  As he concentrated on the technique, she pointed out, “Your feet may start to swell. You can work on this while you put your feet up.”

 

Yuuri smiled and nodded.  This was what he needed. Something he could carry with him.  His mother put together a basket to make it easier and Yuuri moved to the living room couch.  Music played in the background as he worked the stitches and he didn’t notice when Victor sat next to him.

 

Unseen by Yuuri, Victor’s eyes had gone wide in admiration for the younger man.  The simple beauty of him preparing a quilt for the child coming was too much for him.  His voice almost broke as he asked, “Is that for baby?” He sat next to him and studied the steady movement.

 

“Maybe,” Yuuri answered.  Yuuri held it out and inspected his beginning progress.  “I don’t know if it will look good.”

 

“It looks good so far.  I’m sure she will love it regardless,” Victor encouraged.  He got up and then a few minutes later he returned. When Yuuri looked up, his eyes widened when he spotted Victor with a pair of knitting needles.  “Don’t look so surprised. Do you know how many skaters have Nikiforov original scarves hand knitted for Christmas?”

 

Yuuri smiled at the silly man sitting next to him.  “And what are you making now?”

 

Victor’s crooked smile helped Yuuri realize that if the scarf came out straight it was a miracle.  “A blanket...I think?”

 

Yuuri laughed.  “You don’t know?”

 

Victor shrugged.  “I haven’t had reason to make one before.  We shall see. It’s just a slightly bigger scarf, after all.”

 

Yuuri looked upon Victor’s project doubtfully but didn’t comment.  It was a slow night and they both had time off from the restaurant but after a bit, Yuuri grew restless and wandered in to fold laundry.  Victor set his work aside and did a walk through at the onsen before joining Hiroko in the kitchen. It was hard to take a night off when you lived in the business.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri listened to Victor on the phone, an exchange of Russian telling him that Yura was home.  It was late and they had already had their showers, spending the evening curled up on the couch together.  The phone shifted to his hand and Yuuri’s eyes widened in surprise. “Hello?”

 

The voice down the line was gruff, but still friendly.  “Katsudon, just letting you know I made it back alive. Victor said you were worried.”

 

Yuuri smiled into the screen thinking of the young man tucked away in his tiny dorm room.  “Maybe...a little. It’s just a long way.”

 

“I travel enough that I know my way around.”  He heard yelling in the background and then Yura returning the yell in Russian.  Coming back to the phone, he stated, “Yakov’s pissed...but at least it’s with me this time.  Gotta go. Call me when Shizuka comes.” And then he was gone. Yuuri blinked at the phone thinking of those words.

 

“Is Yakov mad at you, Vitya?”

 

The silverette frowned as he thought about it.  “He wasn’t happy with me when I left but agreed I should come.”

 

Yuuri narrowed his eye, feeling that Victor was only giving him half the story.  “Why...not?”

 

Victor shrugged and shook his head.  “It’s just a misunderstanding. I’ll straighten it out after our little girl arrives.  You will be surprised how much he loves little kids.”

 

“Maybe not too surprised.  I mean, figure skating is a young sport.”

 

“Not so bad as gymnastics,” Victor pointed out.

 

Yuuri’s hand ran up and down his belly trying to sooth the little one while shifting in his discomfort.  “Heartburn,” he explained.

 

Victor shifted, “I should tell your mother...she can make you some tea.”

 

Yuuri sighed.  His pout kept Victor in place.  “I am tired of peppermint tea.”

 

“Well, you can’t take anything these days.”

 

Yuuri nodded, sadly curling into Victor.  A comforting hand rested on his hip. “What if I can’t find the balance between raising Shizuka and skating?  Should I give up...skating?”

 

Victor’s eyes blinked as he considered Yuuri’s words.  He knew they could make it work but the idea that Yuuri would give up skating over their daughter...this was new.  “You can do both...because you aren’t alone. It may not be easy but it’s not easy for most parents. We’ll have to find a work-life balance and she will grow up on ice.  But you can still skate and chase after your dreams.”

 

Yuuri hugged Victor and whispered, “It’s already too late for one of them.”

 

“Which one is that?” Victor asked gently.

 

“To stand next to you on the podium, even if not above you, at least to your side.  I fought so hard only to fall short in the final hour.”

 

Victor heard the pain in Yuuri’s voice.  “Oh, Yuuri...you didn’t fall short. There were...extenuating circumstances.”

 

Yuuri drew a deep breath and let it out.  “You can say it, you know. I was raped.” He took another deep breath and said it again.  “I...was raped.”

 

“And it wasn’t your fault,” Victor added holding onto Yuuri.  He watched the small hand moving up and down Yuuri’s tummy and it took a moment before he realized the body was shaking, tears sliding down Yuuri’s cheeks.  Victor hugged him close whispering words of love as the omega slowly settled.

 

“I...don’t know how to do this.  I’ve played with other people’s kids but I don’t know how to do this.”  His hands went wide over his stomach, indicating to the baby and all the mystery she would come with.

 

“Neither do I...but we have your mother, your father, Yuuko, Takeshi.  Chris and Lawrie will have a head start going through this and can give us tips.”  He took Yuuri’s hand in his, joining them over the bulge. “It will be okay. I promise you.”

 

Yuuri stared off in space.   _ My heart is ready to hold onto someone else, someone completely dependent on me. _  But in the back of his mind, he hears his anxiety whispering words of doubt.   _ What if I can’t love her? _  He shivered at that thought.   _ That would mean she’s not Victor’s.  Could I still love her if she’s hi… _  He cut off that thought and rerouted the words.   _...if she’s not Victor’s? _

 

He studied Victor as the room darkened.  Victor was humming a lullaby and Yuuri knew the Russian loved the baby.   _ She has to be his.  How could he love her so much otherwise?  _  As if Victor heard those thoughts, he turned, his hand sliding lovingly over Yuuri’s growing belly, leaning in to kiss him with a soft smile on his lips.  With a yawn, Yuuri held out his hand to Victor. “Let’s go to bed,” he whispered. Victor followed him into the hall and down to the end of the hall where Yuuri’s room waited.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri expresses his desires...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought you needed a treat. So here it is!
> 
> Only five chapters left to go!

* * *

 

Over the next week, Yuuri learned what his mother meant about swelling.  Victor determined no ice while his feet were swollen, which was easier than he thought as Yuuri’s feet would no longer fit in the constricting boots.  But he also kept him company in between the demands of the onsen and restaurant. Yuuri...worked on his quilt. His busy fingers keeping him fairly occupied, along with texting back and forth with Phichit who sent him video of his programs.

 

However, by the third day Yuuri was fed up and decided to make use of the onsen after hours.  He toyed with his needlework weighing over his sister’s words. He wasn’t allowed to soak if he was alone.  He knew he didn’t want to go in there while there were customers to gawk at him with his baby bump. That left after hours.  Sighing, he knew that meant asking Victor.

 

He could already see the lights dimming and knew most of the customers were gone, the  restaurant was in closing procedures, the onsen checked over and towels gathered for the final load of laundry.  He took a deep breath in and stood up, walking with purpose through the connection between the family home and the restaurant.

 

His father looked up from where he was cleaning tables and smiled his greeting.  “Hello, Yuuri. How are you this evening?”

 

“Just...my feet are swelling, and I worry my skin might pop.  Otherwise, I’m fine.” Waving at his father, he moved to the hallway to the onsen.  His sister came out and raised an eyebrow. 

 

“Not without company.  But if you want, I can accompany you,” she offered.

 

His eyes went wide and he shook his head.  He’d long since outgrown baths with his sister.  She laughed and went into the the laundry. Yuuri began to shift back and forth in the hallway trying to work up the nerve to ask Victor when the man in question came through with a load of kitchen laundry.

 

“Hello, Yuuri.  Do you want to use the onsen?”

 

Yuuri nodded adding, “Maybe it will help with the swelling.”

 

Victor deposited the laundry before joining him.  “I could use a soak myself.” He looked skeptically at Yuuri and paused.  “Is it safe?”

 

“Yes...the temperature is less than people think.  I just have to have company.” He thinned his lips and added, “In case I slip.”

 

Victor smiled wide, “I’ll join you.  Let me tell your mother and make sure she’s done with me.”

 

While he waited for Victor to return, Yuuri worked up his next problem, fretting about Victor seeing him naked.   _ He hasn’t seen me...not since that night.  I haven’t seen him. Even when we scented each other, we kept our shirts in place.  _  His hands were wringing by the time Victor rejoined him.  Sensing his nerves if not the reason, Victor caught both hands kissing the fingers.

 

“It will be fine...I’m going to be right there.”  He led Yuuri into the shower room. Undressing, Victor moved over to the showers going through the procedure of cleaning up before glancing back finding Yuuri frozen, his eyes wide.  Yuuri’s face was beet red and he quickly turned covering his face. “Yuuri...it’s just me. Relax.”

 

“I...don’t think I can,” Yuuri admitted his nerves all jittery.

 

Victor tapped his lip thoughtfully.  “I suppose it will be okay if I meet you inside.  Just be careful.” Then Victor left him to clean up on his own.

 

Yuuri hesitantly drew off his clothes, well, Victor’s clothes, which he had been wearing since the baby had grown.  He folded them carefully and put them in the cubby next to the ones Victor wore and then went over to the shower station to wash off.  Wrapped in a towel, he peeked into the indoor bath. The floors were dry and he padded across in his shower sandals towards the outdoor space.

 

Victor was already in the spring and waved at him in greeting.  “Yuuri, you made it!”

 

Pulling the towel up nervously, he began to panic.   _ My chest is getting bigger.  I have fat around the baby bump.  Babies aren’t twenty pounds and yet I was twenty pounds heavier at my last weigh in.  Victor’s going to think I’m huge. And he’s...perfect. _

 

Yuuri didn’t think about how they were going to do this.  He just knew he needed to get in the water and didn’t want to see Victor’s horror when his eyes spied the omega naked.  As he turned to step down the stairs backwards, he felt a hand on his back and hip.

 

In the dimmest part of his mind, he knew this was Victor helping him into the water and keeping him steady.  But that wasn’t the part that took over. Memories crashing in on him of an alpha in rut grabbing him from behind sent him into a full blown panic attack.  Suddenly he couldn’t get enough air as the terror overtook him. He beat on his chest trying to pull in the air and then the hands, they were everywhere, so many hands and a whine escaped his throat.

 

* * *

  
  


Victor watched in horror as Yuuri came undone by his touch.  He couldn’t go after help. He had to work Yuuri through this and Yuuri wasn’t hearing him.  “Breathe with me, Yuuri,” he urged, trying to keep himself calm. He could smell Yuuri’s scent spiking in his distress.  He needed to get Yuuri turned around and seated. He used a firm touch which initially made Yuuri’s panic increase, his breathing becoming labored.  “Yuuri...I’m not going to hurt you. I just need to get you seated and make sure you’re safe.”

 

Those breaths came in short hiccups but Victor got him turned around and seated on the rocks.  Reaching over the edge, he grabbed an extra towel and spread it over Yuuri’s lap for added modesty.  “I’m not going to hurt you,  _ solnyshko _ ,” he continued.  “I would never hurt you.  I only want to help you, my Yuuri.”  He needed something to break through the memory and he racked his brain for ideas then remembered how Yuuri would relax next to him when he sang to the baby.

 

He began  [ humming ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlaqjRxHueU) , the soft notes unintrusive.  Yuuri’s breathing began to steady with the cadence of the song.  Victor added in the words and Yuuri’s eyes began to slowly focus holding Victor’s eyes as the lilting song fell softly from the alpha’s lips.  Hesitantly, Yuuri reached up to touch his face needing to feel him, needing to know he was real. Victor turned his cheek into the touch. Finally, Yuuri was breathing in slowly and exhaling deeply.

 

“Are you back with me, my Yuuri?” Victor asked.

 

The other man slowly nodded.

 

Victor breathed in slowly, letting out the relief with is breath.  “Do you want to sit in the onsen still or are you ready to get back out?”

 

Yuuri took a moment to process the words then answered by reaching for Victor moving on into the water.  Victor’s arm went around Yuuri’s waist, his breath caught as the body moulded to his, Yuuri going automatically to his scent, his cheek resting on Victor’s bare chest.  “Yuuri...let’s get you settled.” Moving to a shelf for seating, he situated the two of them next to each other. Yuuri’s cheek rested against his shoulder, his legs crooked over Victor’s and he was cradled against the alpha.

 

Yuuri remained still, quiet, for the longest time.  Finally, he spoke, his voice soft, muffled into Victor’s embrace but the older man heard the words.  “I...didn’t expect that. I was so nervous about you...seeing me that I forgot about the other.”

 

Victor sighed, saddened that his Yuuri thought so little of himself.  “Yuuri...you don’t need to be nervous with me,  _ solnyshko _ .  You are beautiful but I also love and respect you.  You are safe.”

 

“I...wasn’t worried about being safe.  Not at first. I was worried about…” He sighed, hiding his face at first.  His words came out in a frustrated sob. “I’m fat...and everything...is bigger.”

 

Victor’s arms were tight around him and the alpha brushed his lips into Yuuri’s hair before carefully prying him up to look into his eyes.  “You are not fat. You are all baby. Right on target with your weight gain. And I want our baby to have a good and safe home, okay?”

 

Yuuri nodded through his tears.  His hands then went up to cover his chest.  “I...don’t know what I look like...in the mirror, it’s confusion.  My breasts...they are getting bigger. My belly...there is a baby inside.  But then again, I’m a man. It’s all mixed up and...I have to look like a grotesque mess.”

 

Victor smoothed away Yuuri’s hair shushing him softly as he cried.  “You’re beautiful...my Yuuri. So very beautiful.” He thumbed away Yuuri’s tears, leaning in to kiss Yuuri’s forehead.  A soft whine slipped from the omega’s lips and then Victor found his arms full of Yuuri, the body shifting to settle between his legs, lips seeking more.  He succumbed to the kisses, responding to Yuuri’s searching need, his hands resting firmly on those slim hips trying to keep some distance between them. Finally he pulled back, his cheeks flushed.  “Yuuri…”

 

“I needed to know...that you want me,” Yuuri whispered and Victor could see the vulnerability in the figure.

 

“Always,” Victor whispered.  “But you just said earlier this week you weren’t ready for more.”

 

Yuuri hesitated and then nodded, biting his lip nervously.

 

Victor continued firmly, “So we don’t go further unless we have another talk, okay?”

 

Yuuri nodded once more, his chin dropping as he tried to sort through his emotions.  Finally he drew a shaky breath as he moved over to sit by the wall, still close to Victor but not in his lap.  Yuuri threaded his fingers into Victor’s leaning on his shoulder. “I’m a mess tonight.”

 

Victor leaned his cheek against the thatch of raven hair.  “Wait till you catch me a mess. I’m sure I’ll repay you tenfold.”

 

Yuuri tried to laugh with Victor, but it felt empty, he was still captured in his fear.  “I’m scared, you know...the memories when they hit...sometimes it’s like I’m back there. I think...I was seeking to ground myself in this reality.”

 

“I understand that, Yuuri.”  He took a cup of water in his hand, spreading it over Yuuri’s shoulder, letting the warmth sink into the cool skin.  “But I have to be the voice of reason when I am not sure you are aware of your decisions...especially after panic.”

 

Yuuri nodded snuggling closer.  “So how are we going to do this?  Get out, that is.”

 

Victor considered their options and finally suggested, “I’ll go first and get a robe so you aren’t nervous.  Then I’ll hand you out of the water while facing you.”

 

Yuuri shifted, “Will you...get me a...yukata?”

 

Victor nodded.  “That I can do.”

 

Yuuri closed his eyes as Victor waded through the bath and Victor couldn’t help the smile at his mate’s nervous modesty.  Returning in the green yukata, he held the spare out to Yuuri. “Don’t tell Mari we got the towels and yukata in the baths,” the omega warned.  After Victor helped Yuuri out, they moved into the shower room and dressed. Victor went back and gathered their laundry dropping them in the washer on their way out.

 

* * *

  
  


Victor woke up in the nest as Yuuri began talking in his sleep.  “No...please stop…”

 

Victor blinked away the tears and moved to release pheromones to calm the omega.   _ Oh, my Yuuri...how can I take this all away from you? _

 

Over the next few nights, the nightmares increased.  Victor found himself releasing more and more pheromones so that the omega could sleep.  Victor began to mull over how to suggest Yuuri move his nest. The bed was tight in Yuuri’s restlessness but Victor worried that suggesting a move would upset the omega.  He knew it was Yuuri’s retreat but in the bigger bed, the dogs could join them. Between the three of them, perhaps they could take away the bad dreams.

 

* * *

  
  


The next morning, Victor hung behind when Yuuri was asked to join Mari for errands.  The house was quiet with Hiroko working in the kitchen and Toshiya out for parts. Victor went to the linen closet and pulled out the bundles Yuuri used for his nests and took them up to his room.  Three trips later, he wondered if there was enough. The bed was big.  _ Would it be too much?  Do omega’s prefer smaller nests? _  Victor began fretting, worrying he was overstepping his boundaries.  He almost talked himself into returning the bundles when Yuuri walked into his room.

 

The cinnamon eyes studied Victor, a funny look on Yuuri’s face.  “What...are you doing?”

 

Victor decided to take a different approach leading Yuuri to the room where the blond stayed during his visit.  “I was thinking we should put the nursery here.”

 

Yuuri stood in the space, the light streaming in from the small window as he took in the space and began calculating placement.  He could put the bed on the inner wall and maybe a chest of drawers with a changing pad on the opposite wall. A chair with a bookshelf.  Then he shook his head coming out of the room.

 

“The baby needs to be close to me.”

 

Victor nodded in agreement.  “I know...and, well, we’re already sleeping together.  Why couldn’t we...build a nest here?” Victor’s hand ran over the surface of the oversized bed.

 

Yuuri frowned as he considered Victor’s words.  “What if I need...space?” Yuuri asked.

 

Victor knew Yuuri would need a private retreat.  Yuuri would sometimes shut out the world to revive.  He asked thoughtfully, “Do you have to dismantle the other?”

 

Yuuri shook his head slowly.  “No...but an omega normally doesn’t have two nests in their home.”

 

“What about any of this is normal?” Victor asked.  Closing the distance, he added, “We just need to find what’s right for us.”

 

Glancing towards the hall that led to his room, Yuuri considered the logistics.  “I guess...my room is a little small for all of us.”

 

“I don’t want to displace you, my Yuuri.  I just want you...I want you…” He looked down in the deep brown eyes, suddenly finding himself breathless in the confession.

 

Yuuri waited, listening, gently prompting, “You want me…”

 

Victor licked his lips and put a hand to Yuuri’s face, cupping a cheek, “I want you to be close...I want my family all in one place...where we fit.”

 

Yuuri considered those words and then turned to consider the bed.  “It will take more bundles than my bed.”

 

“I...brought up four.  But I can go get more.”  He added the last quickly, overjoyed that Yuuri was even considering the compromise.

 

Yuuri sighed as he thought about it.  “Let me see how far four gets us.” He crawled into the bed and Victor began unpacking the bundles handing them over.  Victor was surprised at how quickly Yuuri worked but then again, he’d been building nests for years. An hour and two more bundles later, Yuuri met Victor’s eyes questioning.  “Do you like it?”

 

Victor nodded, but added, “We need to make it smell like us.”

 

Yuuri backed up and invited him into the soft structure.  Victor leaned in and started kissing him before crawling after him.  Yuuri responded, his hands sliding beneath Victor’s shirt, his wrist running over Victor’s back, pushing the t-shirt up.  Victor pulled up handing over the shirt and then found himself surprised when it was tucked into the tangle of fabric and pillows.    Then Yuuri pulled his own off and did the same. Victor could tell he was nervous, covering himself, his cheeks pink. Victor leaned in to kiss him, gently pulling away his hands.  The voice in the back of his head (that strangely sounded like Chris) was telling him  _ this is a bad idea _ .  But as Victor normally did, he ignored it.

 

Yuuri hesitated before opening to him.  He was nervous and Victor could tell he didn’t know what to do with his own hands.  “Nothing below the waist,” Victor guided giving him a boundary to work from before placing Yuuri’s hand on his chest.  Yuuri stared at the hand for a moment before he began moving those fingers massaging into Victor’s pec, his exploration taking him to Victor’s pink nipple.  Yuuri scissored his fingers around the hardening pink nub. Victor’s lips parted, not denying that Yuuri’s touch was turning him on. Then Yuuri dipped down, a quick kitten lick over the pink between his finger.  Victor gasped, his hand going into Yuuri’s hair, fingers tangling into the locks. “Yuuri…”

 

Brown eyes peeked up, curious..  “Does it feel good?”

 

“God yes,” Victor groaned.

 

Yuuri considered those words before moving up in Victor’s arms.  “Show me.”

 

Victor’s eyes widened at the invitation to touch him.  Guiding Yuuri back onto the mattress, he traced kisses along Yuuri’s jaw.  One hand continued to play with Yuuri’s hair while the other reached down and slid over Yuuri’s breast.  The brown eyes closed as the omega focused on the feeling of Victor’s touch, the hand massaging into the fleshy mound, the incongruous part of his body that he always sought to hide...only to feel pleasure.  Victor felt the give of the surface to his touch flushing, knowing that this breast would feed their daughter soon. Dipping down, he flicked the nipple with his tongue hearing a soft mew from the omega.

 

Whereas Victor’s fingers tended to tangle in Yuuri’s hair, Yuuri’s knotted into the sheets as Victor continued to explore Yuuri’s breasts and tummy with his kisses.  At some point, Victor rested his ear against the bump and it was at this point Yuuri’s hands tangled into his hair. “Touch me,” he whispered.

 

Victor closed his eyes.  He wanted it, too. But he couldn’t.  Not yet. They had boundaries. They had to talk.  Maybe clear the air between them. He had to be the voice of reason.  “Not yet,  _ solnyshko _ .  I want us to talk about it with a clear head.”

 

“I want to know more,” Yuuri whined.  “To feel more...I can’t remember you, only him.  I want to forget him.”

 

Victor pursed his lips, hiding his face from Yuuri.  “And you will...in time. But...sex won’t take away the bad things.  It won’t fix this.”

 

Yuuri’s fingers tightened into his hair in frustration.  “You get all of the memories...all I have is nightmares.”

 

Victor’s eyes closed feeling the sting of his tears.  _  If I did what you think, it should also be a nightmare.  _  “Not yet…”  He whispered firmly.  He could feel Yuuri’s body becoming stiff in his arms, the scent souring in anxious thoughts.  

 

Victor pulled from Yuuri’s embrace, his expression sad.  He knew he wasn’t adequately hiding his hurt. He knew he wasn’t ready to address his own pain.  He didn’t feel he deserved the pain he felt. “I need...to walk.” He climbed out of the nest and went to his closet pulling out a fresh t-shirt.  He tossed another towards Yuuri. The omega watched him with wide eyes but Victor avoided them. He pulled on his shirt and then...he was gone.

 

Yuuri hugged his knees to his chest.   _ Why don’t you want me? _

 

* * *

  
  
  


Victor ran along the trail Yuuri normally took.  Its hills worked him hard. He spent the day wandering through the town lost in his thoughts.  

 

_ Yuuri, I could never hurt you...can’t you see that?  The thing you wished of me...I could never have done it.  There is no good in that desire. _

 

_ I want you...I want to do all of the things, to show you pleasure, to show you love.  But I can’t fix this for you. It won’t go away with a touch, with sex...you will still have the nightmares. _

 

_ I will not be a part of your nightmare.  I can’t. But how do I undo the lie? Will you hate me in the end? _

 

* * *

  
  


**Yuuri/ Phichit!!!**

 

**Phichit/ What’s up?**

 

**Yuuri/ I think I fucked up.**

 

The response came in a ring and then Yuuri was talking to Phichit, pouring out the events.  “I tried to push him into sex...he walked out on me. Why did I do that?”

 

“I don’t know...horny?”  Phichit’s voice was chirping down the line.

 

His friend took the topic as seriously as he had predicted, but still…“Phichit!”

 

“Okay...let’s think about this.  You’ve been basically living with the guy over the last two months.  He’s pretty much claimed you as his omega...and you’ve claimed him as your alpha.  You’re having a kid together. And I don’t know...you’ve seen each other naked.”

 

“Not exactly...but maybe a little…” Yuuri confessed with a red face.

 

“What are you worried about?”

 

“He left?”

 

Yuuri listened as Phichit remained quiet half a world away.  Then he started softly, “Probably to cool off because it sounds like he’s trying to do the right thing.”

 

“I know…”

 

“And he’s pretty much a nice guy.”

 

“Yeah…”  Yuuri knew his friend was correct.

 

Phichit’s voice changed and on the phone Yuuri could feel something shifting in the conversation.  “Yuuri...are you sure you both slept together?”

 

Yuuri hugged the phone to his ear as he focused on his breathing.  “He said...he said…”

 

The voice spoke quickly, “I know what he said...but that situation, that whole situation...you were really fucked up.”

 

“I...was.”  Yuuri swallowed as he considered the options.  “But...plan B…”

 

“Is only 65% effective after 72 hours.”  Phichit filled in what they both new to be true.

 

Yuuri closed his eyes, feeling tears forming.  “But he said...yes. He calls her his,” Yuuri whispered, his voice shaking.

 

Phichit exhaled on the other end.  “I’m sorry...I just...forget I said anything.”

 

“O-okay…”  They disconnected and Yuuri stared at the wall for a long time before moving from his nest.  He walked downstairs looking for signs of Victor. Yuuri frowned as he realized Victor even left Makkachin behind, the poodle coming up to the omega for attention.  Reaching for the lead, he took the poodle outside.

 

Vicchan was already in the fenced backyard and Yuuri quickly unleashed Makka to play with him.  He moved to set at a table and watched the dogs lost in thought. He didn’t notice his sister watching from the corner and missed her snubbing out her butt before moving over to join him.

 

“What’s going on, little brother?”

 

Yuuri shook his head.  He did not want to talk about this with his sister.

 

“Well, let me see how close I get.  You and Victor were getting all hot and bothered and Victor walked out in the middle.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes were wide revealing that she hit it head on.  “H-how…”

 

“Paper walls, Yuuri…” she answered giving him a playful push against the shoulder.

 

Yuuri felt his cheeks heat up in a blush, “Oh god…”

 

Mari smirked, watching her brother squirm.  “And my room is right under Victor’s…”

 

“Oh...god…”  Yuuri was hiding behind his hands at this point.

 

She was enjoying the torture, but had to end it.  “So what went wrong?”

 

“I’m not talking about this with you,” Yuuri hissed.

 

She thinned her lips and then nodded.  “You’re right. You should talk to Mom.”  And before he could stop her, she was calling, “Moooom!”

 

“What is it, dear?” Hiroko answered cheerily, leaving the kitchin as she dried her hands.

 

As Mari opened her mouth, Yuuri hid his face into the table.  “Yuuri’s got a sex question.”

 

Yuuri was busy dying and wondering if he could just sink through the table and straight into the ground.  “Yuuri does  _ not  _ have a sex question,” he muttered into the table surface.

 

“Oh...it’s perfectly natural to be horny during these last months of pregnancy, Yuuri,” his mother stated.

 

_ Where did my 1950s housewife mom go?  Can I get her back? _  “Mom...did you just say horny?”   _ Why can’t I shut up? _

 

“Of course.  I remembered when I was pregnant with you…”

 

Yuuri’s eyes went wide and he through his hands over his ears.  “Lalalalala I don’t want to know anymore!”

 

* * *

  
  


Victor ended up at the bar ran by Minako.  “You look like you could use a drink,” she pointed out.

 

“Maybe two,” he agreed.  She set them up and Victor downed both of them within a breath of each other.

 

“What’s troubling you?”

 

“Yuuri…”

 

She laughed and poured him another drink.  “Enough said.”

 

* * *

  
  


Victor wasn’t home when family dinner was served.  Glancing at the door concerned, he heard his mother say, “Victor’s at Minako’s.  She called to let us know. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.”

 

“Minako’s?” Yuuri squeaked.  “As in her bar?”  _ Oh, lord. _

 

“Oh, lord,” Mari echoed his thoughts.

 

“Don’t worry.  I’ve already prepared a hangover blend of tea,” his mother promised.  She then chuckled. “I guess he is definitely part of this family now.”

 

On his way to his bed, Yuuri stopped by Victor’s room.  _  I can’t sleep in there without him. _  But he did go in and straighten the bed.  As an added thought, he put a water bottle and pain killers on the nightstand.   _ You are going to feel like shit in the morning.  _  Tapping his thigh, he called the dogs after him and crawled into his nest.

 

* * *

  
  


When Victor made it home, he found his bed empty...empty of Yuuri...empty of the dogs.  He fell into it, pulling the covers up to his chin. Whatever demon Minako fed him, he’d sweat it out by morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Victor with Minako. She understands the struggle in loving Yuuri. You can't help it...but it's hard on the heart.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does Victor deal with his anxiety? Shopping (or cleaning...but not this time).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could finish this story next week posting every other day...or I can stretch it over two weeks. Which would you prefer?

* * *

 

Victor woke up to find a bottle of water and pain meds on the nightstand.  Makkachin stretched out beside him. The tail wagged into his leg, almost like a slap and the little dark eyes watched him judgmentally.  Victor stretched a hand out to scratch the curly head. “I know...I fucked up.”

 

A shift on the couch told him he wasn’t alone and he looked over to meet brown eyes.  “Are you...okay?” Yuuri was seated on the sofa hugging the patched up bunny.

 

Victor pulled up releasing a sigh.  “I didn’t...handle things right yesterday.”

 

“I pushed,” Yuuri said quietly.  “You set the rules and I tried to push past them.  I...should apologize.” Yuuri settled the bunny into the corner of the couch, his fingers smoothing out its fur.

 

Victor was surprised that Yuuri wasn’t pissed, but he wasn’t sure he should be relieved.  Yuuri could be internalizing his pain, which would only be worse. “I’ve never done this before...been in a relationship.  I’m going to fuck up.”

 

Yuuri shrugged, his knees butterflied out, his ankles being held by his hands.  “I’m probably going to fuck up, too...some more.” Yuuri laughed a little at his joke and the air between the two seemed to ease and clear.

 

Victor realized Yuuri was wearing one of his sweaters, the pants not quite settling right on his hips.   _ My baby needs some clothes. _  His blue eyes brightened, “Why don’t we go shopping?  Shopping always makes me feel better.”

 

Yuuri looked at him funny.  “Does it really?” Doubt filled his voice.

 

Victor shrugged.  “Usually...or cleaning.”  Victor smiled wide and wiggled his toes playfully, “but I don’t feel like cleaning.  So...I need to shop.”

 

Yuuri nodded to the nightstand.  “You  _ need  _ water.  Minako said you tried to match her drink for drink.”

 

Victor groaned.  “That woman!”

 

Yuuri giggled.  “She’s like Marion Ravenwood from _ Indiana Jones _ .”

 

Victor blinked a moment as he considered the reference.  “By god, you’re right!”

 

Nodding once more at the table, he repeated, “Water.”

 

Victor took the medicine and downed the water bottle and then blinked as Yuuri came to his side with another bottle.  He drank it down without protest and already was feeling better. He didn’t typically get hangovers but almost felt fluish after a rough night drinking.  _  Shopping! _

 

They went downstairs and while Victor was made to eat he was thankful they started their morning out with light fare.  The eggs and rice settled his stomach a little more and he was forced to drink another glass of water and a cup of tea under Hiroko’s amused but watchful eye.  “We’ve all been there,” she clucked. “Maybe not Yuuri...but he’s watched each of us, including Mari, come back to life after drinking with Minako.”

 

Victor regarded the cheerful woman across from him thoughtfully.  It was hard to imagine her drunk. Yuuri’s Papa was a happy drunk.  He’d seen that and had joined him a few times. Yuuri, sweet seductive Yuuri...he fell for him drunk.  He suspected Mari would become a more intense drunk. Minako, though...she was a force of nature.

 

* * *

 

 

Finally fortified, he was happy to borrow the family car and go into town.  He had a small list of things to pick up for Hiroko but there was no rush. He drove down into the parking area near the shopping district.  Helping Yuuri out of the car, he studied the man before him before he broached the subject. “We’re getting you some clothes.”

 

“I...I only have a couple more months,” Yuuri protested.

 

“And you should be as comfortable as possible.  Baby’s going to grow a lot in the next little bit.”  They walked to a shop Yuuko told him about. Yuuri looked around nervously.  However, when he found the prices were more reasonable and he relaxed.

 

While Yuuri browsed, Victor went to the saleswoman.  “My mate is in his last trimester and I’d like for him to have some things that will make him feel good about himself.”

 

Her eyes widened and she nodded.  “Of course! We’d love to help him out.”

 

“For me, money is no object.  However,” Victor quickly shifted his gears when he heard Yuuri clear his throat from across the store, “my Yuuri is a conservative spender.  If you could help him find what he needs, I’d appreciate it.”

 

She bowed and smiled warmly before signalling over two other sales associates to explain the situation.  Before long, Yuuri found himself surrounded. “Oh...ummm...hi?”

 

“Let us help you find what you need,” the first associate offered.

 

Yuuri shifted back and forth, feeling a little crowded in.  “I guess...umm...I need something to get me through my last two months or so?”

 

“Is this your first?” another associate asked.

 

Yuuri blushed and nodded.  “I had hoped to avoid buying new clothes.”

 

“We understand,” the third, the saleslady Victor spoke with, responded.  “I think we all went through that. The body changing makes us all uncomfortable.”

 

“I...suppose.  But it’s a little different...for me.”  Yuuri looked down, shifting back and forth.

 

The three ladies exchanged understanding glances.  “We should get Shuuji,” the first suggested.

 

The last associate agreed.  “I think so.” And then she disappeared behind the partition separating the store from storage and offices.  Soon another omega came out. Yuuri’s eyes widened.  _ A male omega _ .

 

As the man approached Yuuri could see he was older, but only slightly, and shared the same build as the skater.  “Oh, darling...I understand you’re having trouble making your purchase decisions,” the omega salesman greeted. “Let me help you out.  I’m Shuuji. I own Mom and Me Boutiques chain, but this one” He indicated to the flagship store, “...it’s my baby. Well, besides the three I have at home.”  He laughed and Yuuri found himself relaxing. “Now, let me see to you.”

 

Yuuri stammered, toying with the hem of his…Victor’s shirt.  “Hi...my name is Yuuri.”

 

Shuuji smiled at Yuuri, blushing a little.  “Oh, honey...you need no introductions. Your picture is all over the train station.”

 

Yuuri blushed in return.  “Yes...I wish they wouldn’t do that.”

 

Shuuji was shaking his head and put a warm, friendly hand on Yuuri’s shoulder.  “This little town grabs whatever it needs to put itself on the map. Being the birthplace of the world class Japanese figure skater Katsuki Yuuri gives it a draw to the outer world.”  He stopped as if something had revealed itself to him and a curious look crossed his face. “Now, I didn’t know you were pregnant.”

 

Yuuri blushed and felt himself pull back slightly.  “I’ve...kept it to myself. My...boyfriend Victor and I are keeping a low profile.”

 

Shuuji pursed his lips, feeling there was more to it than what the other omega was revealing.  However, he smiled warmly again, “Say no more. We at Mom and Me know how to keep our clients privacy.  Now, how can we serve you?”

 

“I’m...not sure.”  Yuuri looked around the store, the selection was wide and he began to feel overwhelmed.  “These are...Vitya...Victor’s clothes. And...I guess I’m outgrowing them as well.” He blushed, tugging at the sweater to cover his tummy.

 

“Don’t you worry about a thing.”  Shuuji emphasized that last two words, following with a soft giggle.  “We will take care of you. Now, what kind of lifestyle do you lead?”

 

Yuuri narrowed his brow unsure how to answer that.  

 

Shuuji read the confusion immediately.   _ This one is not into fashion…too bad, he was born to model.   _ “I mean, do you prefer the masculine or feminine...like the fancy or casual…”

 

Yuuri blinked in understanding and perked up, “Oh.  I’m an athlete? And I dance.” He thought about the function of the clothing and his choices became clearer.  “So...something for easy movement?”

 

“I have just the thing.  Let us go to our activewear department.”  He lead Yuuri across the store and began browsing shelves, pulling off a few items.  “I’m thinking you’re more of a leggings and yoga pants sort of guy...with an occasional pair of jeans?”

 

Yuuri smiled and nodded.  “For now. I think I only put on a suit for press conferences and gala events.”

 

“Good...then I think you’ll want to try these on and would you prefer more fitted tops to show off that baby bump or something more loose and roomy?”

 

Yuuri’s hands went to his bump, he was still unsure about how he felt...not about the baby but about people knowing.   _ Too many questions all with answers that I’m afraid of.    _ “I...well, I don’t really like the changes in my body.  It feels...weird.”

 

The store owner smiled knowingly.  “I went through that with my first little darling.  It’s hard because we identify certain things as masculine or feminine.  Male omegas confuse that for society and we attract attention, not all of it wanted.”

 

“Yes,” Yuuri answered relieved.  “Like...breasts...I don’t know what to do with them.”

 

Shuuji winked.  “I gotcha. The good news is we didn’t wear bras early on so our breasts are self-supporting.  I tell all of my ladies to give up the bra and reduce support so the body can do what it needs to do and build up that muscle system.  But...I do suggest a bralette...low support...but here’s why, pretty soon, you will start to leak a little.”

 

Yuuri’s mouth opened, his eyes wide.  “Leak?” he squeaked.

 

“Mmmmhmm,” Shuuji continued.  “It’s startling the first time it happens.  But we can slide a pad into a bralette and soak that right up.”

 

Yuuri didn’t know how to process that information.  “So...how would I pick one?”

 

“Come right this way.  We’ll get you measured up and I’ll have several for you to try on.  You’ll want a good band at the bottom but we don’t want it to dig into your shoulders.  Milk filled breasts will feel heavy.”

 

Yuuri nodded looking at his armload of pants but then an associate came to take them from his hands and promising to put them in his dressing room.  He browsed through some tops and soon Shuuji had selected a variety.

 

“I know which I’d pick to show off that gorgeous mommy body but not everyone is body forward.  So I’m going to offer several fits and we’ll find the one that makes you feel your beautiful self once more.”

 

Yuuri blushed but nodded.

 

“Now about underwear…”  Shuuji started slowly.

 

“Underwear?” squeaked Yuuri.

 

The store owner tried to keep his client calm.  “Just like your pants need some give, so do your undies, honey...unless you’re a bikini omega.”

 

Yuuri stammered in his shock, “Oh...ummm...my friend wore something low rise when she was pregnant.”

 

Shuuji snapped his fingers, knowing just what to pull.  “I’ve got just the thing. I really like these new  [ V-front ](https://heavyeditorial.files.wordpress.com/2017/09/intimate-portal-women-under-the-bump-maternity-cradle-briefs.jpg?quality=65&strip=all&strip=all) undies...they give you the room you need and sometimes you don’t want anything on the tummy.  Very non-restrictive.”

 

Then Yuuri was measured and he found himself in a dressing room, clothes organized into outfits.  He didn’t know when the jeans arrived but appreciated that they were cut beneath the belly. 

 

“Yuuuriii, are you back here?” Victor singsonged.

 

“Yes...stay out there.  I’ll come out if I need an opinion.”  He was in and out of the dressing room over the next half hour trying on outfits.  Victor talked fit and communicated with associates any changes and soon, Yuuri had eight new outfits stacked up to the side along with two bralettes and two packages of underwear.  “I suppose I need to cut that back,” Yuuri started sifting through with knitted brows.

 

Victor immediately pulled the clothing from his reach, “Why?  No, don’t you dare! You need some variety.”

 

When they rang it up, Yuuri’s brow tightened more as Victor paid.  “I can take care of myself,” he argued as they left the store.

 

Victor grinned.  “Perhaps...but this way I get my clothes back.”

 

Yuuri huffed.  “I’m still wearing your shirts.”

 

Victor chuckled as he helped Yuuri into the car.  Reaching around, he buckled Yuuri in brushing their lips together on the way out.  Yuuri smiled as Victor closed the car door and crossed to the driver’s side.

 

Yuuri had left the boutique with a wardrobe and the phone number of the omega owner who told him to call or text anytime he had questions.  “I...didn’t expect to enjoy that.” The clothing was a good addition, but knowing that he had someone to talk to, another male omega to get advice from, was more comforting that even yoga pants.

 

“I’m so happy you went with the more fitted choices,” Victor answered.  “You have a beautiful body and should show it off.”

 

“It’s...hard?  I don’t see it as you do...but the clothes Shuuji selected make me feel better.”

 

“A good fit will do that for you.  That’s why I get a lot of my clothes tailored.”  He turned over the engine and pulled into traffic.  “Shall we get the things your mother wanted?”

 

“Yes...then home.”  Yuuri stretched in the seat, more tired than he thought he would be.  “It may have been fun but it’s also tiring. I need a nap.”

 

Victor laughed.  “Fine...nap it is.”

 

* * *

  
  


At home, Victor delivered the packages before joining Yuuri upstairs, happy to find him in the bigger bed curled up in a ball.  He wore leggings and shirt, the fabric forming along his body. Victor couldn’t help his smile as he slid into bed next to him. Leaning in, he brushed a kiss on Yuuri’s forehead.  Yuuri was already asleep but murmured something in Japanese followed by  _ Vitya _ .  The older man hoped for words of love as he climbed into bed next to him.

 

“ _ Moy prekrasnyy  _ Yuuri,” he murmured smoothing Yuuri’s hair.  A contented sigh answered him.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri roused feeling the warmth and comfort of Victor’s arms and scent around him.  He tilted his chin up and kissed Victor whose eyes fluttered open in surprise. “How are you feeling?”

 

“I think sleeping wrapped around you helped.”  Victor’s face grew worried, “Why did you go back to your room last night?”

 

Yuuri shrugged, sitting up.  “It was all weird and it didn’t feel right being in here without you.”

 

Victor sighed, stretching as he sat up.  “This is your room, too. It’s  _ our  _ space.  I want you to be at home in here...with me or without me.”

 

“But...it’s  _ your  _ room.”

 

Victor caught the emphasis Yuuri placed and corrected him, making it clear that without Yuuri this room, no room, would feel like a place he could call his own.  “It’s  _ our  _ room.  It always was...when it was offered to me, it was offered as  _ ours _ .”

 

Yuuri moved onto his knees seated in the V of Victor’s legs.  “I...wanted to make things right with us first. I know I was in the wrong, to push beyond a limit without talking it through first.  I...got carried away. Apparently these...feelings are normal around this time of pregnancy.”

 

Victor frowned unsure what he meant.  “What feelings?”

 

“Wanting...sex?”  He hid his face in his hands after saying it, the heat on his cheeks filtering into his ears and down his neck.

 

“Yuuuriii,” Victor called to him tugging on his hands.  Finally, Yuuri dropped them in his lap but he still lowered his chin not meeting Victor’s eyes.  “I know when you’re aroused. It’s in your scent. But that doesn’t mean we can’t make sound decisions.”

 

“How do I know when I’m ready and when I’m rushing things?” Yuuri asked finally looking up at him.

 

Victor thought a moment, this was a difficult answer as it was different for everyone, and few people even considered it.  “How do you feel right now?”

 

“Embarrassed,” Yuuri said honestly.

 

Victor took his hands and then pulled them up to his lips kissing each fist of fingers.  “Do you want sex with me when not in the moment?”

 

“I mean...I’ve thought about it…”

 

“And what have you thought…”

 

Yuuri dropped his chin again.  “It’s embarrassing.”

 

Victor pursed his lips, “You have to talk to me, Yuuri...we won’t move forward otherwise.”

 

Yuuri kept his eyes cast down but felt heat rising in his neck.  “I...I think about you touching me.”

 

Victor caught the flush on Yuuri’s skin before the faint hint of scent hit the air between them.  He voice deepened automatically, “And how does that make you feel?”

 

Yuuri looked up shyly.  “I...want you...I need you near...I...ummm...want to know how it really feels.”

 

Victor closed his eyes.  He wanted this just as badly, his alpha practically begged for it.  However he kept himself focused as he ordered his thoughts. Opening his eyes he caught the cinnamon hues of Yuuri’s taking him in, he murmured, “The other day you said you weren’t ready for sex.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes were locked on Victor’s blue, not releasing them.  “I also said I could change my mind soon. I feel like I’m on the precipice.”

 

“I...I want our first time to be your choice.”  Victor stated carefully holding those brown eyes.

 

_ First time _ ...Yuuri frowned momentarily at that but then focused on the other words letting that phrase slip away.

 

Victor continued, “I want clear and enthusiastic consent.  We may fall into the moment later...we may have understandings in our relationship of what’s okay and what’s not...but this time, right here, I need to know you’re not going to regret it after the fact.”

 

“I...could never regret you,” Yuuri whispered.  Yuuri ran a hand over Victor’s neck, lightly scratching the scent gland with his nails, delighting at the low grumble he heard rumbling in Victor’s chest.

 

“You say that but…”  Victor trailed off. Closing his eyes, he checked his heart.  _  Can I tell him now? _

 

“Before...on that night...we weren’t making good decisions.  Either of us,” Yuuri pressed. Yuuri felt a confidence within him grow as he saw how Victor’s body responded to even the slightest touch, and he pushed forward, placing his palm flat over Victor’s heart.  “I’m...not mad about that. I thought you knew that.”

 

“If you…”  Victor drew in a breath, dizzy from the contact and sorted his words out.  “If you believe that I had sex with you that night, you should be mad. If you are drunk enough to forget, you are too drunk to consent.  I...Yuuri...I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

Yuuri felt confused by the words but he knew one thing in his heart.  “You...couldn’t…hurt me. You didn’t.” He rose up, pressing his lips to Victor’s chin, the faint graze of stubble tickling him.

 

Victor took a deep breath and let it out.  He wanted to surrender into the touches, the kisses, but he kept himself rigid.  “What do you want?”

 

Yuuri pulled back, holding Victor’s eyes steadily.  “I...want you...want you...to make love to me.”

 

Victor’s lips parted in surprise.  “Yuuriiii…”

 

“I mean it…”  Then he peeked up through his lashes and added, “enthusiastically.”

 

Victor stared at Yuuri incredulously.  “Yuuri…”

 

“Please...I mean, I don’t want to pressure you.”  He put his hands on Victor’s shoulders, pushing him back onto the bed.  Yuuri remained above, “But I need you to believe me when I say I want you.”

 

Victor reached up to smooth Yuuri’s hair and murmured, “I believe you.”

 

* * *

  
  


NOTES:

 

_ Moy prekrasnyy _ means “my beautiful”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmmm....what will next chapter bring? It certainly seems as if some sexy times are at hand. But Victor still hasn't resolved the lie. Silly Victor!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't you hate it when the chapter summary just gives it all away? I'm purposefully leaving this out because you deserve the unveiling. Grab your tissues, buckle your seatbelts, and remember...there are only three more chapters. I promise, I do believe in happy endings. (((hugs)))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The votes lean towards a faster posting...and yes, to those that asked, I have already started writing Truth. I'm 6 or 7 chapters in. So there shouldn't be too much wait. This works out, though, because week after this is crazy! :)

* * *

 

The demands of the onsen and the restaurant pulled their attention with the call of Yuuri’s mother.  Each man tried to lose himself in work, only to accidentally brush against the other and feel the flush form on their face, turning quickly to not betray their intentions to anyone else.  The guests seemed to stay later, drink heavier, soak longer, until finally the last left and the lights of the business dimmed. The hour was late and they had just entered the onsen sinking into the warmth together.  Yuuri had been nervous getting in but Victor kept whispering words of love, telling him how beautiful he was and he finally settled to relax in Victor’s space as they traded kisses until they had to vacate the facility and seek out their room.

 

Dressed in yukatas, their kisses continued as they shed them halfway across the floor, naked, skin still damp in places.  Victor’s hands held onto him, guiding him back towards the bed. The arousal between them settled into the corners of the room.  “Are you sure you want this?” Victor asked as he guided Yuuri into the bed.

 

Yuuri nodded but when Victor remained still, he added, “Yes, Vitya...I want this...want you,” dropping kisses in the pauses.

 

“That sounded very enthusiastic,” he teased.

 

“You made the rules,” Yuuri smirked.  He stretched out next to Victor feeling the alpha smooth his hair as he shifted to kiss him.

 

“Rules are good,” he murmured before kissing Yuuri again.  “Keep people safe.” He kissed him once more. “Keep them from getting hurt.”  He kissed Yuuri again, this time pressing him back into the mattress. A moan slipped from Yuuri’s throat.  Victor pulled back and studied the baby bump. “I don’t want to hurt baby either.”

 

Yuuri paused, thinking of positions, all of this too new but he was ready to move into this with Victor.  “So what do you suggest?”

 

Frowning, he considered his options.    _ Chris probably has tried every possible position with Lawrie. _  He made a note to ask him later but for now, he considered his omega before answering, “You should be on top.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened a little panic in his body.  “I don’t...know what I’m doing,” he squeaked his confession.

 

“I’m going to guide you every step of the way,” Victor reassured him.  He leaned in and resumed kissing Yuuri, using his tongue to slowly open the other man up to him.  As he felt Yuuri relax and give into him, he began to explore the smaller body. “How can you not see how beautiful you are, my Yuuri…”  Fingers teased down Yuuri’s side even as his mouth found Yuuri’s scent gland, sucking and licking at it. Yuuri responded with a groan, his back arching into Victor instinctively.  Releasing the gland, he chuckled. “That’s my Yuuri...my beautiful Yuuri…”

 

“I...I’m not…” Yuuri breathed.  “I’m plain…”

 

Victor gave him a pained, indulgent smile.  “No, baby, you’re anything but plain...you’ve captivated me from the start and I regret not meeting you sooner.”  The body in his arms warmed as Yuuri blushed, the flush going all the way down his chest. “So...beautiful…” Victor ducked down and trailed kisses down Yuuri’s chest.  His tongue found Yuuri’s nipple, perked up, waiting for him and Victor’s tongue couldn’t resist the tease. He flicked over the bud and heard Yuuri’s gasp. Victor blew softly over the damp surface, Yuuri moaned in response.  Circling the nipple with his tongue, the Russian then took the rose nub into his mouth sucking gently, feeling Yuuri’s arms wrapping around his head to hold onto the pleasure point. 

 

“Vitya…” he murmured, his legs moving back and forth restless against the mattress.  Victor’s hand slid down Yuuri’s belly and reached for his length. The omega gasped, his hips responding, grinding into the touch.

 

Victor rose up and heard Yuuri’s disapproving moan but reached into the nightstand to get the things he needed.  “Trust me, this will make everything better.” He squirted the lube into his hand then smoothed it over Yuuri’s shaft, the younger man groaning in response.  “Much better.”

 

Victor gathered some of the lube on his fingers moving down to Yuuri’s entrance.  The omega was panting, focusing on the touch. Victor narrowed his eyes as he studied his mate.  “Are you still okay, Yuuri?”

 

Yuuri nodded and then stammered out, “Y-yes…”

 

“If you need to stop…”

 

“I’m good,” Yuuri insisted, closing his eyes, taking measured breaths and then Victor realized he was willing himself to relax.

 

“I’m not going to force it and neither should you, my Yuuri,” Victor stated gently.

 

Yuuri whimpered and Victor could smell the sourness of his distress in the air.  “I...want this...want you…”

 

“I know...I’m just suggesting we back up just a moment.”  He pulled his hands away and stretched out beside Yuuri. “Open your eyes for me, love,” he directed.

 

It took a moment but the eyes blinked open, brown almost lost in the blown pupils.  “What’s wrong with me?” he whispered, frustrated, huffing and frowning into a pout. “Why can’t I do this?”

 

“I think...you are not listening to your body, to your heart...too much going on in your head.”

 

Yuuri swallowed then nodded.  Victor could see the stress in his expression, could feel the tightness in the body.  While he knew Yuuri wanted this, he also knew his lover was new at this. Sex with a partner was very different than solo during heat.

 

Victor considered his partner then made a decision.  “Let’s try this.” He reached over to get his iPad causing Yuuri’s eyes to narrow in confusion.  “I’m going to read you...a bedtime story.”

 

“I don’t...understand…”

 

Victor’s eyes twinkled.  “It’s a...naughty bedtime story.”  He opened up to a website, archiveofourown.org.

 

Yuuri’s eyebrows shot up.  “You...read fanfiction?”

 

He chuckled.  “Yes. I found it while google searching my name.  You wouldn’t believe the naughty bits people will write about you if you’re a celebrity.”

 

Yuuri blushed.  “I...might?”

 

“Oh, it seems my Yuuri has a guilty pleasure as well,” Victor teased.  “Hmmm...apparently someone already imagines the two of us together. Shall we see what it says?”

 

“I...I don’t know…”  Doubt filled his expression, not wanting to imagine what the world would think of them together.

 

Victor pulled up the fiction and began reading a story that apparently switched their secondary genders.  The story, however, was quick to reach eroticism as Victor was careful not to pick a slowburn. He listened to Yuuri’s breathing as he read, and then noticed Yuuri unconsciously touching himself.  “Do you touch yourself when you read these on your own?” he whispered.

 

Yuuri blushed, hiding in Victor’s shoulder.  “I...might?”

 

“Do you look for stories about me?”

 

Yuuri nodded, still hiding.

 

“Stories about you and me?”

 

Yuuri squirmed and shrugged.  “There...aren’t a lot. But...there are some in first person...you and the reader.”

 

“I suspect when we go public, stories of you and me are going to be all over the place.”  He leaned in, kissing Yuuri, savoring the taste of Yuuri’s tongue. “Tales where I’m doing very naughty things to you.”  He kissed Yuuri again. “And you doing things to me.” Yuuri leaned in and cut him off with a kiss, his hand sliding over Victor and the older man relished the touch, the feel of Yuuri’s sudden boldness.  “Yes, my Yuuri…”

 

Climbing on top of Victor, Yuuri’s kiss was demanding, his hips grinding into him and Victor remembered their dance that night in Sochi.  Rising up to meet Yuuri’s kiss, his hands rested on his lover’s hips. Yuuri lifted as Victor guided him up, and Victor worked to get the lube on his fingers again, this time focusing on teasing Yuuri’s entrance, his fingers moving in circles over the surface.  Yuuri’s enthusiastic kissing continued even as he unconsciously pushed against Victor’s finger and then he opened around the Russian’s touch, Victor finding his way inside.

 

As he pressed down on the intrusion, Yuuri pulled back from the kiss focusing on what was happening below.  He experimentally grinded against Victor’s hand. Victor supported him with his other hand. “More,” he demanded.

 

Victor chuckled.  “In time, _ lyubov moya _ .  Let’s get you used to one first.”  He knew Yuuri likely touched himself like this during his heats but he could also tell that Yuuri rarely explored himself outside of his heats.  The confession from reading told him that Yuuri did touch himself some, however.

 

Yuuri huffed impatiently but Victor could feel Yuuri riding against his finger and it wasn’t long before he felt Yuuri stretched enough to add another.  Yuuri hissed with the stretch, his eyes closed, his expression pleasure. As he settled on the two fingers, he stilled for a moment adjusting to the stretch.  Then he began to squirm, moving up and down, seeking more.

 

“You like being in control,” Victor observed.  The beautiful man taking his pleasure from Victor was almost hypnotic.  “So beautiful,” he whispered as he introduced a third finger. Yuuri moaned as he sank down then cried out as Victor expertly found that magic bundle of nerves.

 

The brown eyes opened wide, first with shock, then wild with desire.  “God, Vitya…”

 

“You are getting quite comfortable on my hand,” he teased.

 

“I want more,” Yuuri demanded.  “Please…”

 

“Soon, love…”  Victor focused on the feel of Yuuri as he opened up on his fingers until he knew the muscles were relaxed and stretched enough.  Pulling his hand free, he watched Yuuri pout in protest. “I thought you wanted more,” he teased.

 

“Yes…” Yuuri moaned, his hands unconsciously sliding over his own body.  

 

_ So beautiful… _ Victor thought breathlessly.  Victor returned his focus to the matter at hand, reaching for the box of condoms and taking one out.

 

Yuuri eyed the motion, his eyebrows narrowing and a frown settling on his lips.  “I’m already pregnant,” Yuuri said in confusion.

 

“I know...but I want to keep things safe for you and baby.”  He gave himself several firm jerks before rolling on the condom.  He then reached for the lube and added it to the surface. Yuuri was watching him, his expression thoughtful but didn’t comment further.  Holding himself to line up with Yuuri’s entrance, he invited Yuuri to lower himself. “Slowly, Yuuri. That stretch only goes so far.”

 

The omega closed his eyes as he focused on the feeling within, the initial filling of shallow spaces and then the tightness as he lowered himself further.  Yuuri breathed through the deeper stretch. “I’m made to take you, Vitya…” he breathed, his head going back, a fine arch in his back and Victor couldn’t remember ever seeing such a beautiful sight.  The omega wriggled his hips a little as he fully seated on the alpha’s cock.

 

Victor looked up at Yuuri’s expression who watched him with half lidded eyes, his hands on the omega’s hips.  “How do you feel?”

 

“Incredibly...full…”  Yuuri then did an experimental pull up Victor which caused the older man to gasp.  Something about making Victor respond like that did something more for Yuuri. “How...do  _ you  _ feel?”  His eyes sparkled as he looked down to his lover, empowered, possessive.  At this moment, he owned Victor. The alpha knew the boy owned him from that moment in Sochi where they danced.

 

“Amazing...like I’m where I belong,” Victor answered, taking one of his hands to dance down Yuuri’s body before resting it on Yuuri’s hips once more.  “Are you going to tease me all night?”

 

“Maybe?” Yuuri answered with a wink before dropping back down in Victor’s lap.  However, Yuuri wanted more and began to move his hips finding a rhythm that he found pleasing, Victor’s hands giving pressure to guide him like in a dance.  A slight lean back and he found himself gasping as Victor’s length brushed down that bundle of nerves. He could only maintain that for so long before it became over sensitive, shifting once more only to see Victor gasp.  “Is that...better for you?”

 

“Tighter...and yes, better…” Victor groaned out.  “God, I’m not going to last long.”

 

Yuuri reached down to touch himself, Victor’s hands on his hips driving his body hard.  “Vitya…”

 

“Come for me, my Yuuri…”

 

The whole world came to a standstill as Yuuri felt his world shaking apart over Victor, as he felt his own release vibrate through him.  Warmth within told him Victor wasn’t far behind him. He collapsed on Victor’s chest moving into his scent.

 

Panting, he laid in Victor’s embrace.  “I...I didn’t expect that intensity.”

 

“Was it not like that during your heats?”  His words working their way out through panting breath as his body slowly relaxed.

 

“It’s not the...same.  I was just doing what was necessary,” Yuuri confessed.

 

“You didn’t enjoy it,” Victor surmised.

 

“Not like some...and I didn’t want a partner.  It felt...private.” The sob came out of him by surprise and Victor tightened his arms.  “That is what added insult to injury...he took my...privacy.”

 

“My sweet Yuuri,” Victor said softly, his hands sliding up and down Yuuri’s back.  “You’re safe now...and if you don’t want to share your heats, I understand.”

 

Yuuri pulled back surprised.  He hadn’t even thought about his heat.  It was so far away...after he quit breastfeeding.  “I-I don’t know. How will I react?”

 

Victor felt the beginning of panic start to bubble up in Yuuri’s body and he spoke in a soft tone, carding his fingers through the black locks.  “That’s a good question...but there is no rush to figure it out.”

 

Yuuri climbed off of Victor and his eyes fell upon the alpha’s hand as it removed the condom.  “You...would’ve worn a condom that night.”

 

Victor froze for a moment.  All the small signs, all the little pieces of evidence were finally falling together for Yuuri.   _ But why at this exact moment? _  Victor sighed and nodded as he threw away the waste.  “I  _ would _ have.”

 

Even with his emotions running high, and his body still alternating in small quakes from the ecstacy of the shared moment Yuuri was processing what Victor had said, understanding the significance.  “Sh-she’s not yours…”

 

“Yuuri…”  He began reaching for the younger man.

 

The omega shook his head, pushing Victor’s hands away.  “No...the odds of a condom failure is so much less than plan B.  She’s...not yours…” Yuuri sucked back his sob backing off further, his eyes widening as they met Victor’s.  “You knew…”

 

Victor knew better than to follow Yuuri, who needed his space.  Instead, he laid back pushing his hands through his hair. Closing his eyes, he pulled his words into order.  “It wouldn’t have mattered.”

 

“Wh-what do you mean?”

 

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he said more clearly, “It wouldn’t have mattered.  I didn’t...need a condom that night.”

 

Yuuri shook his head, fighting against the words.  “But...you said…”

 

“What you needed to hear...what you  _ wanted _ to hear.”  Victor hated this, hated hurting him but the lie was no longer holding any power over Yuuri.  It was no longer the thread holding Yuuri together, it was the ropes binding him up. “We...didn’t sleep together, Yuuri.  Tonight... _ this _ was our first time.”

 

Yuuri shook his head wildly as his breathing became erratic.  He hugged his thighs and rocked back and forth. “You said...she was yours.”

 

“You were falling apart,” Victor said softly, he was dying to move into the other man’s space, to take him into his arms and hold him.  But that would only make him retreat into himself further. “I had to get you out of that nest.”

 

Yuuri stilled at that confession.  “You...told me what I wanted to hear.”

 

Victor nodded.  “You said...you  _ needed _ it to be me.”

 

Yuuri remained quiet as he processed those words, his face becoming a mask, closed off.  “You... _ lied _ .”  There was a coldness in those words and so much hurt behind them.

 

Victor tried to reach for Yuuri but the other man pulled back.  “I...didn’t want to lie...to hurt you...I...want to be her Papa...I love her, Yuuri...I love you.”

 

Shaking his head, he fell into his pain, his words coming out in stuttered protests.  “No no no no...you lied…” The room once filled with their arousal only held the scent of Yuuri’s pain.  

 

He reached for the omega.  “Yuuri…”

 

“No!” Yuuri shouted backing up further.  “No...let’s end this! Right now. No more.”

 

Victor watched helplessly as the omega pulled back further climbing backwards out of the bed.  He didn’t bother dressing as he fled the room. Vicchan was on his heels. Makka looked torn. With a defeated wave, he told the poodle, “Go...he needs you more than me tonight.”  Then Victor was alone. Pulling the blanket around him, he remained frozen for a moment before the sob within him broke through.

 

* * *

  
  


In his room, Yuuri curled up in a ball in his nest.  Vicchan was licking at his tears trying to ease his pain but the fairytale had shattered.   _ How am I going to do this?  I love her...but she’s...she’s….his.  Vitya...it hurts so much. Why can’t you fix this?  Why can’t it go away? What will I tell her when she asks me who her father is now? _


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is processing the information and implications. Victor tries to find ways to be supportive while not crowding. #lifewithyuuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I'll just put my notes at the end.
> 
> Thanks to BluSkates for the edits!

* * *

 

Morning arrived with a sharpness in the air.  Victor listened for Yuuri’s movements not wanting to invade his space.  _  Not yet.  _  Yuuri needed time.   _ We always wait with Yuuri…   _ But if he were being honest with himself, he was terrified.  Would Yuuri reject him? From deep within himself he felt his alpha growl, almost as if it were angry with him.  Then just as quickly as the growl appeared, it faded and the hollowness in his chest bloomed and grew. Victor clenched a fist over his heart and whined.   _ Oh god, I’m pining…we’re not bonded and I’m pining over him. _  He knew how rare something like this was and prayed Yuuri wasn’t going through the same pain.

 

In the hall a door opened and then Victor heard the shower.  A pawing at his own door told him Makkachin wanted to say  _ good morning _ .  He slid open the door and let her in, closing it back to respect Yuuri’s privacy.  As he hugged Makkachin, he smelled Yuuri’s scent all over the dog. They had clearly cuddled all night and Makka carried the omega’s grief into the room on her fur.   _ Oh, my Yuuri… _

 

He waited...until the shower stopped, until he heard Yuuri’s feet go down the stairs, and then let a half an hour pass before he moved.  Then he opened his door, moving into the shower to clean up. Downstairs, the rooms were quiet as if everyone was walking on eggshells.  _ This won’t do... _

 

He found Hiroko in the kitchen and her normally easy smile as she greeted him was definitely forced.   _ No point in dancing around it _ .  “Yuuri and I...I don’t know what we are.”  Practically collapsing onto the stool at the work table she was preparing breakfast on, all of the sudden it was all tumbling out.  Hiroko remained silent, letting the man before her pour all his heartache out to her as she placed a cup of tea in front of him. “We were fine and then it wasn’t and it all came out and he knows that I lied to him.”  Victor stilled, his eyes all watery. “He said...to end this.”

 

“Oh, Yuuri...always running when things get too hard,” she clucked.  “What do you want to do?”

 

Victor blinked a few remaining tears away, surprised to find that Yuuri’s mother would be his ally.  “I want to stay...to see this through...to see...if he will want me again...in time.”

 

Hiroko smiled at him, leaning over the table and took one of his tear streaked cheeks in her warm pudgy hand, “Well, I’m the one who invited you to stay...so I haven’t uninvited you.”

 

Victor sobbed one last time and shook his head, “But Yuuri…”

 

Hiroko stood back up, slapping the table, “Is stubborn and headstrong...and  _ anxious _ .  He is scared and he’s overthinking all of this.”

 

“I don’t know how to help him move past this,” Victor confessed.

 

“He may have to get himself past this...but he’s not hiding in his room.  So there’s hope.” Her positivity met his skepticism.

 

“I want to respect his need for space but still be there for him if he needs me.”  Victor sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy.

 

“That sounds like a good approach with Yuuri.  He may bristle up at first but he’ll settle soon.”

 

Victor laid his head onto the counter.  “Mari’s going to kick my ass…”

 

A sharp laugh came from the old woman.  “That may be true...but Mari knows her brother.”

 

* * *

  
  


Taking Makka out for a quick walk around the yard, he found Mari outside smoking a cigarette.  He shifted awkwardly as she took a drag regarding him with a stare. Finally, she snubbed it out and pushed off from the fence she leaned against.

 

“That was quite the fight the two of you had last night,” she stated.

 

Victor instinctively took a step back at her approach, “I...told him the truth.”

 

“And he reacted as predicted.  So...what’s the plan?” She folded her arms, sizing him up.

 

Victor shrugged his shoulders, “Wait it out?”

 

She smirked.  “You’re learning.”  She nodded towards the gate.  “He left with his skates at a slow jog this morning.  I figure you’ll find him at Ice Castle.”

 

Victor immediately thought to follow.  Even if they hadn’t fought, he was loathe to let Yuuri skate this late in his pregnancy.  But he stilled his feet before they even move, “Or...I should wait and let him work it out on his own.”

 

Mari nodded.  Moving past him into the house she called over her shoulder, “Probably not a bad idea.”

 

* * *

 

  
Victor texted Takeshi to check on Yuuri.

 

**Victor/ Is Yuuri there?**

 

**Takeshi/ Yes...apparently you’re not the father.**

 

Victor grimaced at the phone, but he knew that if Yuuri were talking to others that meant he wasn’t bottling it inside.  This could be good. He’s pissed, but he’s communicating.

 

**Victor/ You knew that already.**

 

**Takeshi/ Everyone knew that but Yuuri.  He’s processing and sorting it all out.**

 

**Victor/ On ice?**

 

**Takeshi/ Don’t worry...we have him restricted to slow laps and figures.  But it helps him work through his thoughts. Yuuko’s on the ice with him right now.**

 

Victor breathed out in relief.  He made a note to send flowers to Yuuko and offer to babysit the triplets as thanks.

 

**Victor/ I hate this.**

 

**Takeshi/ You knew it wasn’t going to go well when it came out.  Give it time.**

 

* * *

  
  


Victor accidentally bumped into Yuuri when the omega came home.  Those brown eyes met his then looked away instantly. The trainers turned to walk but Victor put up a hand, keeping it from touching Yuuri.  “I know you’re angry,” Victor said quietly. “And I want to give you the space you need. But I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Yuuri stilled.  The shoulders slumped for a moment, then clenched as he turned to face him.  “She’s not yours,” he returned harshly.

 

Victor saw the rage mixed with pain in his face.  “She never was...but I’m telling the truth when I say...I want her to be.”

 

Yuuri swallowed, his eyes drifting up the stairs towards his escape.  “I can’t be around you right now.”

 

Victor heard the hurt in the voice, but there was also the faintest hint of promise that soon he would be able to talk this through.  “That’s fine...but you have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I’ll drive you.”

 

“Fine,” Yuuri answered and escaped up the stairs.

 

* * *

  
  


Wednesday arrived and Victor saw to the dogs while Yuuri got ready.  The omega got into the car wordlessly staring straight ahead. Victor connected a playlist and classical started piping through the speakers.  The drive was quiet otherwise.

 

At the clinic, Victor got out and noticed Yuuri didn’t move to exit the car, still staring straight ahead. Victor went around the car and opened the door, kneeling as he looked in towards his mate.  A tear escaped Yuuri’s eye and Victor could see him shaking. “We’re just going to make sure baby is okay,” Victor said softly. “You don’t need to make any decisions today.”

 

Yuuri nodded than accepted his hand as Victor helped him out.  He guided Yuuri into the clinic and then back to the room to visit with Dr. Ito.  Yuuri changed while Victor studied the wall giving him the privacy he needed. Then Dr. Ito joined them.  “How are we doing today?”

 

“Fine,” Yuuri stated.

 

Victor frowned but met Dr. Ito’s eyes.  “Yuuri and I have come to the realization that the due date discussed might not be the correct one.”

 

“Oh,” she answered, her eyes moving from Victor’s to Yuuri’s.  “Are you okay?”

 

“I said I was fine,” Yuuri clipped.  “She was always his.” Victor could see the way Yuuri’s hand tightened, his knuckles turning white in his fist.

 

Dr. Ito eased Yuuri back on the table.  “You could look at it that way.”

 

Yuuri stared blankly up at the ceiling, a tear escaping from his eye.  “How else could I see it?”

 

“That she’s  _ yours _ ...that she is the one good thing out of a horrific situation.  You don’t have to acknowledge the father on the any of the papers...and in this case, you don’t know who it is.  Another option, you state that your mate is the father.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes jerked to Victor’s then slowly shook his head.  “I don’t have to make any decisions today.”

 

“No, you don’t...and it’s probably best that you don’t,” the doctor agreed.  She palpated against Yuuri’s tummy and continued her exam, looking at the charts to see Yuuri’s weight gain.  “Given that information, your weight is right on target. Baby is still moving and healthy. I do want you to slow down some.  With your center of gravity shifting, light duty only on ice.”

 

“So...I can still do figures just nothing else really?  I think that’s where we almost were anyway.”

 

Dr. Ito smiled, happy to hear his desire to remain active.  “Are you still taking the dance class for new mothers?”

 

“No...Minako works with me privately but she knows what I need.”

 

“Good...I would like to suggest another class.  I’m a strong believer in natural childbirth when possible and have trained as a midwife as well as an omegologist.  I would like you to attend a childbirth class taught by one of the staff midwives. I’ll be on hand because there are some specific positions I want to work with the two of you so that your mate can support you properly while giving birth.”

 

Yuuri kept his eyes from Victor’s face, lowering his voice, “I don’t know if Victor will wan…”

 

“We’ll be there,” Victor cut him off.  “Just give me the dates and times.”

 

On the way out, Yuuri stared at the paper.  “I shouldn’t involve you…”

 

“I’m involved...it’s my choice,” Victor stated firmly.  He helped Yuuri get situated in the car then dropped once more in a squat, looking up at his mate.  “You can be mad at me for as long as you like. I’ll give you the space you need to work through this.  However, I’m going to do everything in my power to help you to bring Flip into this world safely.”

 

Yuuri’s lip twitched before he shut it down.  “Shizuki,” he corrected. “And...I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I...wasn’t planning to keep her if she was his.”

 

Victor looked down at the pavement beneath him.  He had his hot pink Gucci trainers on, the pair that Yakov nearly killed him over.  Suddenly he realized how empty his life had been until Yuuri danced into it. He would do anything this man demanded to remain by his side.  “I know...and I respect your right to choose. I honestly have no say...but I am here for both of you.”

 

Yuuri looked over at Victor, tapping his shoulder to get him to look up, “I’m still mad.”

 

“I know and that’s okay...are you ready to go home?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  Victor closed the door and walked around the car, climbing into the driver’s seat.  As he buckled his seatbelt, he added, “There are things we have to do together like this class.  But if you need me to give you space, we can rotate times in ice...as long as you can assure me you are being safe.”

 

Yuuri huffed in annoyance.  “I can be safe...I just did figures yesterday.”

 

“That’s a good choice.”  Victor started the car and drove home.  Yuuri faded into silence staring out the window.

 

* * *

  
  


**Yuuri/ So...he’s still here.**

 

**Phichit/ Why would he go?**

 

**Yuuri/ I kind of told him to.**

 

**Phichit/ Oh, Yuuri...is that what you really want?**

 

Yuuri looked at the text, then at his door.  The faded wood betrayed where the first poster of Victor had hung for years, taken down only the day the man showed up in real life.

 

**Yuuri/ I don’t know.**

 

**Phichit/ You do know.**

 

**Yuuri/ Can’t I just be mad?**

 

**Phichit/ You can...but you know he wasn’t trying to hurt you.**

 

**Yuuri/ I know.**

 

**Yuuri/ He’s going to birthing classes with me.**

 

**Phichit/ You’re going to have to talk in classes.**

 

**Yuuri/ I know.  He’s giving me space, though.**

 

Yuuri watched the three dots dance for a few moments on the phone.  Phichit could type text better than the fastest administrative assistant.  Yuuri could see his friend was struggling with words before hitting send...a rarity.

 

**Phichit/ Are you mad at Victor or the situation?**

 

Yuuri thought about those words.  He could appreciate the question, and Phichit’s worry over the directness.   _ Am I?  What upset me the most?  The fact that she’s not his, or the fact that he lied? _

 

**Yuuri/ I guess...the situation.  But he’s part of the situation.**

 

**Phichit/ He’s mostly the good part.**

 

**Yuuri/ So you think I’m messing up?**

 

**Phichit/ No.  I just want you to look at this from both sides.**

 

**Yuuri/ I’m looking at this from lots of sides.  My head won’t start thinking.**

 

**Yuuri/ What am I going to do about Shizuka?**

 

**Phichit/ Listen to your heart, not your head.**

 

**Yuuri/ You sound like mom.**

 

**Phichit/ I sound like you.**

 

Yuuri smiled in spite of himself, a small giggle bubbling to the surface.  He felt good at the small laugh after the last few days of stress and grief.   _ Thank you Phichit. _

 

**Yuuri/ I never listen to my own advice.**

 

**Phicht/ You know what to do...you just haven’t accepted it yet.**

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri watched Victor skating from the safety of the sound booth.  Takeshi raised an eyebrow when he snuck inside. “Shut up!” Yuuri stated.

 

“You could just talk to him,” his friend suggested.

 

Yuuri put a hand to his back, stretching.  “I’m not ready for that.”

 

He sighed and glanced towards Victor.  “Are you going to be mad the rest of your pregnancy?”

 

Yuuri glared at Takeshi.  “Maybe.” Focusing on Victor, he watched him skate.  Sure enough, Victor was working through a new program and Yuuko was right.   _ This is hot _ .  “What’s it called?”

 

Takeshi looked back to the ice, “He hasn’t said yet.  I think it’s still in his head.”

 

Yuuri watched the lithe form glide effortlessly over the ice, pulling into jumps and spin all dripping with seduction, “He should be back on the ice.”

 

“That’s his choice.”

 

The brown eyes turned from the ice to his friend, “If I pushed him away…”

 

Takeshi faced his friend, holding his eyes firmly.  “Yuuri, don’t you dare decide for him.”

 

“It’s not even his baby.  I’m not worth this kind of trouble.”

 

Takeshi grumbled, folding his arms across his chest, “We are  _ not  _ having this conversation.”

 

Yuuri blinked in confusion, “What conversation?”

 

Takeshi’s arms went wide as he bent forward, “The one where I tell you about all of the people that flirt with you as you obliviously think no one notices you.  That man is crazy about you.” Yuuri’s eyes followed the finger pointing towards the ice.

 

“He lied…”  Even Yuuri knew his words were losing conviction.  His anger was strong, but the determination to keep Victor at arm’s distance was melting.

 

“To save you, Yuuri...that lie has weighed him down the whole time.”

 

Yuuri huffed.  “You  _ all  _ lied to me.”

 

Takeshi blew air through his lips, raising his eyebrows.  “We all figured it out on our own. The man’s a bad liar. You believed it because you wanted to believe it.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yuuri sat with Victor in the birthing class.  He looked up in surprise to see Dr. Ito kneeling down next to him.  “Hello, Yuuri.”

 

“Hi,” he greeted shyly.  “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

 

“I’m here for you.  The birthing position that I want to suggest to you will make it easy for the baby.”

 

“But?”

 

She kept her voice quiet as she explained, the others occupied with the nurse.  “I’m going to have to position Victor behind you...and you said you have trouble with people behind you after the rape.”

 

Yuuri felt his breathing become more rapid.  He looked at Victor in a panic then back to the doctor.  “I don’t think I can do this.”

 

“You can, Yuuri, and there is no reason to have to resort to drugs if we don’t have to.”  The doctor turned to Victor and continued. “Aligning the birth canal in a male omega can often best be accomplished in a squat but with the shift in center of gravity, he will need you to help him to get into position as well as help him to maintain it.”  She then positioned Victor to get him in place and guided Yuuri into his arms. “This is our end goal.”

 

Victor watched Yuuri with concern.  “It’s just me, Yuuri...I’m not going to hurt you,” he murmured.

 

“I-I know…”  He wouldn’t admit that he needed to hear Victor’s voice.  And then he rolled out of his arms turning to face him. “I don’t think I can do this.”

 

“Maybe...if we work at it,” Victor suggested.

 

“And Yuuri,” Dr. Ito added.  “You’re not going to be alone.”

 

Yuuri shook his head.  He wanted to try, he honestly did, but it was...too much. Too many memories crashing in and stabbing at him.   “Is there another option?” Yuuri asked.

 

She frowned as she considered his question.  “What I don’t want is for you to lie on your back.  We can try a number of positions including a birthing bar and a birthing ball.  However, having your alpha near will help to keep you calm and focused.” She then guided Yuuri through a second position on his hands and knees.  “This position is good to pull some of the pressure off the back and helps with baby’s heart rate.” She caught the small smile on Yuuri’s lips knowing the young man was beginning to relax again.  Then, guiding him down to his side, she explained the next position. “This is a rest position but hard to monitor.” Motioning across the room, she added, “You get the ball, Victor.” He did as she said, bringing it back.  Yuuri found himself seated on the ball. “You might want to sit on the toilet as well. Relieves some of the pressure on the perineum. Less tearing.” She then guided him into a squat leaning against the ball as it is pressed against the wall.

 

“Why can’t I do this to give birth?” Yuuri asked.

 

“Because you will be tired.  I will give you more options but with omega males, the partner squat is often a more preferred position.”  She frowned and then offered another version. “Let’s try it with a chair...we have these birthing beds and the chair method might imitate the position close enough.”  Victor walked over to grab a basic chair and placed it on the floor where the doctor indicated. “Now, sit in the chair Victor.” She then situated Yuuri in a squat guiding Victor to support him.  “How’s  [ that ](https://naturalbirthblogdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/or_9afe48e312096428543379.jpg) ?” she asked Yuuri.

 

Yuuri was breathing in and out in measured intervals but then nodded.  “This feels...less...I don’t know...I might be able to do this.”

 

“I want you to practice the different positions until birthing day.”  She turned to Victor, “Now...I took over your class for you but next week, you learn about coaching Yuuri and keeping him comfortable.”

 

“I look forward to it,” Victor responded eagerly.

 

She chuckled.  “It’s usually right up an alpha’s alley.”

 

On their way out, Yuuri was pensive and Victor studied him with worry.  “What’s wrong?”

 

“I’m just thinking.  Minako has those balls.  She uses it with her yoga class.  Maybe...we can practice these positions at the studio.”

 

Victor felt a smile touch his lips happy that Yuuri was willing to work towards this goal.  “I think that would be a great place to practice.”

 

Yuuri looked at him with worry crinkling his brow.  “Are you sure about this?”

 

“I am.  I’m with you one hundred percent of the way.”

 

He sighed, tired and welcoming Victor’s guiding hand settling him in the car.  He never really thought about how Victor took care of him in these little things.  He looked up as Victor tightened the seatbelt, his hand on Victor’s arm. “Thank you.  I know I don’t make these things easy.”

 

Victor stilled, emotion rising up inside him.  “It’s fine, Yuuri,” he murmured, his voice breaking half way through.  “Whatever I can do to ease the way.”

 

“I just...I know I’m still mad.  I just don’t know...how I feel about anything.”

 

Victor squeezed his hand, “There’s no hurry…”

 

“We’re in birthing classes.”  Yuuri looked meaningfully into Victor’s eyes.  “She’s coming soon.”

 

Victor swallowed his sorrow, hearing Yuuri’s worry that he would leave.   _ How else can I prove my commitment to you and her...to us?   _ He focused on Yuuri and what that man needed, “And you’ll know when it’s time.  Now, relax and let me take you home. I want your feet up for the rest of the evening.”

 

Yuuri not only didn’t argue but allowed Victor to massage his feet even as he faded into sleep.  Victor tucked a blanket around him.

 

Leaving the room he ran into Toshiya.  “Maybe you can help me with something?”

 

“What do you have in mind?”

 

“I want to put together the nursery...without Yuuri knowing.  That way if he decides to keep her, we’ll be ready. And if he decides...not to...I can quietly take it down and donate it to charity.”

 

Toshiya saw the desperation in the Russian’s eyes.  The entire family felt this way, without voicing it to each other.  “Well, that will take more than my help. Let’s go upstairs and see what you have in mind.”

 

Victor showed him the small room.  “I want the bed over here, a chest of drawers that can hold the changing pad thing...a bookshelf and maybe a rocking chair.”

 

The old man considered the space and took some measurements.  “I think that’s reasonable. And I may have something for you.”  Motioning for Victor to follow, he led him downstairs and out to his shop.  “It’s towards the back. Yes...here it is.” Pulling a canvas tarp aside, he revealed a bamboo rocker.  “This chair is the one my wife rocked Yuuri in when he was small. It needs some repairs but I can guide you through the process.  We can also build the bookshelf.”

 

Victor ran a hand over the chair, worn arms from Hiroko holding onto it and resting her arms.  “And the rest?”

 

“Well, if we look around, we could probably find a chest of drawers but I think you’ll have to shop for the crib.  Maybe take Yuuri’s friend...that omega Yuuko.”

 

“Okay, I can do that.”

 

Toshiya smiled and winked.  “And...I think my wife has a few things she’s working on in secret.  You might talk with her.”

 

Victor felt joy building in his chest, filling that empty space slowly.  “Thank you. I will.”

 

A nursery for Shizuka, connected to Yuuri’s childhood.  He could do this for his mate. And the rest will work itself out.  Just like Yuuri’s decision.

 

* * *

  
  


NOTES:

 

[ Labor and Delivery positions ](https://www.thebump.com/a/birthing-positions)

 

[ Position Statement ](https://www.fitpregnancy.com/pregnancy/labor-delivery/position-statement)

 

[ Partner Squat position with birthing bed ](http://www.borcad.cz/obrazek/birthing-positions-8/800/half-sitting-birthing-position-with-partner%C2%B4s-assistance-ave-birthing-bed_800.jpg)

 

Can you see my obsession with  _ Call the Midwife _ ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These boys...but I think there might be a little hope in Yuuri's actions. Victor is certainly clinging to whatever hope he can find.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri faces a lot of truths as he prepares to bring baby into the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to BluSkates for all of her edits in this. And thank you all for reading. One more chapter left! Enjoy this.

* * *

 

When Yuuri left out to walk to the rink, Victor took advantage of the time to work on the nursery.   Victor would then carry lunch to the omega and they’d go to the dance studio to work on the positions demonstrated in birthing class.  With even more positions pulled up on Victor’s iPad had them working through other options under Minako’s supervision.

 

Finally, she walked off shaking her head and muttering something about “two idiots trying to choreograph childbirth…”

 

“We’re just working out the possibilities,” Victor called after her.

 

She waved at him without turning.  “Whatever…”

 

Victor sat with his knees parted against the wall drinking water until he was startled when Yuuri crawled into the V of his legs taking the water bottle out of his hand and downing it, settling into Victor’s arms.  The older man remained still not wanting to jinx this.

 

Yuuri’s eyes were closed as he breathed easily.   “I thought...this would be hard to get to...maybe impossible...sitting here like this.”

 

“Rebuilding trust perhaps…” Victor began.

 

“And Dr. Ito forcing me to face those feelings.”  His tone was wry but Victor worried about Yuuri. Something was bubbling under the surface.

 

“She did kind of push the point,” Victor responded, his hand moving up and down Yuuri’s arm.

 

They hadn’t kissed since the fight but Yuuri was slowly coming back to him.  Victor waited, careful not to push, careful of his space. He had so much pain to work through.  So much grieving to do.

 

The omega in his arms shivered and it took a moment for Victor to realize his breath was hitting the forced bond mark...that wasn’t really there anymore.   _When did it fade?_

 

Yuuri leaned into him to avoid the breath.  “Will you skate with me tomorrow?”

 

Victor blinked in surprise.  Was Yuuri inviting him back in?  “Ummm, sure. I’d love to.” He could hear the gruffness in his own voice.

 

Yuuri closed his eyes and sighed, relaxed in his arms.  “I think I’m ready to go home, now,” he announced softly after a few moments and Victor helped Yuuri to his feet.  The walk was quiet, Yuuri’s thoughts a million miles away and Victor wasn’t sure if he was consciously aware of threading his fingers through Victor’s.  Victor held them loosely, allowing Yuuri to pull free if he realized they were connected but he held on until they reached the inn. Looking up to Victor, he murmured, “I think I’m going to rest now.”

 

* * *

  


**Chris/ I’ve got the nursery ready, bag packed, I think we’re ready.**

 

**Victor/ I can’t believe it’s almost time.**

 

**Chris/ Yuuri’s just around the corner.  How’s he doing?**

 

**Victor/ He’s processing.  But he’s talking to me. And he held my hand earlier.**

 

**Chris/ Sometimes the truth is hard to accept.  It makes us angry.**

 

**Victor/ I know.  I’ve been giving him time to work through it.**

 

**Chris/ But you’re staying.**

 

**Victor/ He hasn’t specifically asked me to leave.**

 

**Chris/ Do you think he wants you to leave?**

 

**Victor/ Honestly...no.**

 

**Chris/ Is he keeping the baby?**

 

**Victor/ I don’t know.**

 

**Chris/ But you want to go forward as planned?**

 

**Victor/ Yes.  Phichit’s going to coordinate it with Yuuri’s old rinkmates and they are being delivered to Yuuko who will sneak them over while he’s at the rink.**

 

**Chris/ Send me her contacts and I’ll send ours along as well.**

 

**Victor/ Did you get our gift?**

 

**Chris/ Yes but Lawrie doesn’t want to open it yet.  He has some superstition about opening baby gifts before the baby is born.**

 

**Victor/ Any day now.**

 

* * *

  


At the rink, Yuuri skated into his arms.  “I’m still mixed up but...I know you were trying to help me.”

 

Victor enjoyed the warmth from the smaller body in his arms, just wishing he could hold him forever.  They were talking, finally talking. “It was a lose-lose situation, Yuuri...I just chose what I thought was the best path.  You don’t know how much that lie has tormented me.”

 

Yuuri thinned his lips and glanced towards the soundbooth.  “Others...have told me. I’m not...good at this. Relationships.  Most people tell me I’m oblivious. I focused on my skating. I never had...someone.”

 

Victor listened quietly, thinking of his own past.  “I only had casual hookups. I knew people liked what they saw, but I don’t know that they looked past that to see me.”  Victor felt Yuuri turn in his arms, not pulling away but standing back to examine the man. “So you could say the same about me...but you...I want you...like I’ve never wanted anyone before.  And I know you see me.”

 

Yuuri studied him a moment then skated back, taking his hands.  “Skate with me?”

 

Their movements were basic, just spending time in one another’s presence.  Victor holding Yuuri’s hand as they made the circle around the rink. Releasing his hand, he reached around, resting his hand in the small of Yuuri’s back and taking the dropped hand in his other.  “Maybe after you’re cleared, we can play around with some ice dance elements,” Victor suggested.

 

“They still wouldn’t let us compete together,” Yuuri pointed out.

 

“No...but then there are exhibitions.  I would love to...dance with you,” Victor implored.

 

A soft smile touched Yuuri’s lips and he shrugged.

 

* * *

  


Yuuri sat across from Shuuji at the tea shop.  “It’s really hard to process everything.”

 

The warm omega took his hand across the table.  “Oh, honey...emotions are our worst enemy when pregnant.  But it sounds like your Victor was trying to take care of you the best he can.”

 

Yuuri reflected on those words and nodded.  “He’s still trying to take care of me. He goes to childbirth class.  He...respects my space. But I’m still just so angry. Why am I so angry?”

 

“That’s a good question,” Shuuji stated, “one that you’ll have to answer for yourself...and soon.”  The male omega had become a close friend and Yuuri confessed his whole story when Shuuji found him crying quietly over a cup of tea.  The tea shop had become their haven, meeting for tea while Yuuri talked through his troubles and Shuuji lightening the mood with stories of his family.  “Maybe you need to widen your scope.”

 

Yuuri lifted his eyes from the steaming liquid before him, “Okay...what do you mean?”

 

Taking a deep breath, the omega squeezed his hand and plunged in.  “Maybe...you’re not angry with Victor. Maybe you’re angry at the alpha that raped you...and Victor is the nearest alpha for you to take it out on.”

 

Yuuri blinked back his tears and nodded.  “H-he...took away the story. I needed to believe that story.”

 

“Need _ed...past tense_...but do you need it now?”

 

Yuuri studied the teacup in front of him.  He was no longer hiding in his nest. He hurt but he wasn’t denying what happened.  “I...I’m doing fine. Just...angry.”

 

“And anger is fine...good even.  You have reason to be mad as hell.  Every alpha that ever forced themself on an omega needs to be painfully castrated.”

 

Yuuri smiled at the fire in his friend, but it didn’t help the sorrow he still felt over the situation, and how was handled by his school, by the authorities, by anyone.  “But I feel...powerless…”

 

“And that’s what we need to change.  What can you do to take back what was taken from you?”

 

Yuuri thought for a moment.  “I don’t...know. The university covered it up.  There wasn’t even an investigation. They were happy to give me a pass on my classwork and pack me off, like they were sweeping it and me under the carpet.  I don’t even know who did this to me.”

 

Shuuji watched his friend work through his anger at the rape and the cover up.  “You know more than you realize...it will surface in time.”

 

Yuuri’s hand went down to his tummy protectively.  “All I know right now...is this little one is restless.”

 

“I told you to pick caffeine free,” Shuuji laughed.

 

* * *

  


Yuuri met Victor at the studio for yet another class.  The Russian greeted the omega warmly, his hand guiding him into the studio.  “Did your lunch go well?”

 

Yuuri nodded but rubbed his tummy.  “I think baby is all hyped up, though.  Shuuji warned me against caffeine. But I failed to listen.  I’ve been told I can be a little stubborn.”

 

Victor’s eyes went wide and he turned to needlessly straighten the mat at his feet, biting back the retort and laughter.   _You don’t say…_ “Did you not sleep well last night?” Victor asked with concern when he felt more controlled.

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “I can’t sort out these emotions,” he admitted.  “All I know is that...I’m angry. And I can’t skate it out.  I can’t even dance it out. So I’m frustrated that I’m so limited right now.”

 

“You have so many reasons to be angry right now,” Victor validated as he guided Yuuri into a stretch.  It was just the two of them that afternoon, Minako having errands to run. “Maybe there are other ways to work through your anger.”

 

Yuuri looked up from the deep straddle stretch...well, as deep as he could go with a baby bump.  “Like what?”

 

Victor took in a breath, hoping Yuuri would take this advice.  “Well...you could consider counseling.”

 

Yuuri huffed.  “I don’t want to continually relive what happened to me.”

 

The Russian thinned his lips, _you are not merely a little stubborn…_ “Lawrie says there are other therapies...therapies that work around the trauma.”  He watched Yuuri as he remained still, not looking at him, a sign Victor now recognized as Yuuri processing the information.  Victor continued, “You need to identify your loss and grieve. And I know that’s what you’ve been doing. Slowly. I can smell the grief in your scent.”

 

“I...I…”  Yuuri fought the tears as they started to release but it was no use.  Pulling his knees into his chest, he began to rock back and forth. Then he was being cradled in Victor’s arms, a familiar cheek pressed into his hair.  “They all abandoned me...the school...my coach...I was sent away...like I did something wrong.”

 

Victor held him close, slowing the rocking to something more comforting, less frantic.  “Yuuri...I can’t speak for your school but I know your coach, he was trying to get you someplace safe.”

 

“I know that...but I don’t know that.  Celestino was scared for me, I know that, but it was like he gave up right away.  And...that concern for safety, it doesn’t apply to the school. They were trying to hide me.  I was an embarrassment. And...they should have supported me, helped me find counseling, turned it over to the police so that maybe it could be investigated.  I was kidnapped. I was held hostage for three days, forced into a heat and raped...repeatedly. And they did nothing except shuffle me off as quickly and as quietly as they could.”  He drew in a shaky breath fighting off the sob. “I’m angry! I’m angry at the university for covering it up. I’m angry at myself for allowing it. And most of all, I’m angry at the alpha that did this to me!”

 

“Good.  Let it all out,” Victor encouraged.  Yuuri’s rage came to the surface and Victor wasn’t scared, in fact he felt nothing but relief.  That fury had burnt under the skin for too long. He held onto the shaking body in his arms resisting the urge to calm him.  Yuuri needed the release. He didn’t need to shove it back down.

 

“I’m angry I had to wear his mark as a constant reminder!”

 

Victor kissed his forehead, and tightened his hold.  It was almost faded by now but it took so long.

 

“I’m angry...that you...that you...took away the lie…”  The words came out breathless, small, a whisper of confession.  The air grew still around them.

 

Finally, Victor whispered, “I’m sorry.”

 

Yuuri turned into his arms and wept against his shoulder, clutching onto his shirt.  “I...can’t deny what happened anymore.”

 

“Then...you can start to heal.”

 

Yuuri breathed out, resting his head against Victor’s chest, feeling heady with exhaustion from the outburst.  “It doesn’t feel that way. It feels raw and open.”

 

“I know...we had to open it back up so we could get the bad stuff out.  Will you...ask Dr. Ito for a referral?”

 

Yuuri nodded, shaking in his arms.  “I don’t want to go alone.”

 

“I’ll stay with you every step of the way,” he promised.

 

* * *

  


Victor stood with Yuuko at the baby store looking through the things Flip... _Shizuka_ would need.  The cart held diapers, onesies, burp pads and all of the practical things.  Now they stood before the different breast pumps.

 

“If I were pregnant now, I’d go with this one,” she began.  Victor smiled at the small look of horror on her face as she considered going through pregnancy again.  “And since Yuuri will be traveling and pumping...I think you should go this route.”

 

The pump had a carrying case and was sturdy.  Victor knew Yuuri talked about breastfeeding. _Would he want this?  Does he already have one picked out?_  Yuuri read a lot on baby care.  His mother said Yuuri always studied a problem well before making a decision.  It took him a year to decide on Detroit. Then he spent the next year convincing them it was the right decision.

 

“I can return it if it’s not the one he wants?” he asked the salesperson.

 

“If the mother hasn’t used it, you can return it,” answered the bored salesperson.  Yuuri would like that Victor was shopping with economy but there was a lot to be said about the service.

 

He was glad Yuuko was with him because it was she that helped him gather all of the necessary accessories.  The crib had been ordered and would be sent to the house. Now he was ready to check out with the rest.

 

* * *

  


Yuuri sat with Victor in the next birthing class.  Dr. Ito wasn’t there but during his last appointment, he walked away with a referral.  Dr. Hashimoto out of Fukuoka. He worked with survivors of sexual trauma and he was well known in his field.  Dr. Ito assured them both that the office was warm and friendly.

 

The instructor, an experienced midwife, led them through several positions talking to them about the benefits of each of them.  She then moved into how the parent partners can support the mother through the process. “You are their advocate. And you are a participant in this birth.”  She continued with the stages of birth, talking about when to take their mate to the hospital and what to expect when they arrived. Then they talked about what to take to the hospital.  They wrapped up the session with how to help the mother feel more comfortable. Victor massaged Yuuri’s back in easy motions, Yuuri relaxing into his touch.

 

As the class began to break up, he was approached by a couple of younger mothers.  “Is this your first?” It was a young and pretty male omega and Yuuri could tell he was nervous.

 

Yuuri nodded.

 

The other mother, a girl, asked, “My mother was a male omega.  Are you scared?”

 

“I...guess.  I am a little.  I have a friend who’s had three children and he’s been talking to me about what to expect.”

 

“That must be nice.  My parents don’t live near here.  My alpha’s parents are betas,” the male omega said quietly.  “I was so scared coming to this class, I was going to leave that first day, but then I saw you here...another male omega...and I stayed.”

 

Yuuri blinked in amazement, not realizing that he could be helping another person with their fear just by being there and being himself.  He offered a hand to the younger man, “You should talk to Shuuji at Mom and Me,” Yuuri suggested. “I had a lot of fears at first but he was able to put me at ease.”  He shrugged and added, “There’s only so much your doctor can say to reassure you.”

 

The boy beamed, taking Yuuri’s hand.  “I agree...but Dr. Ito is great. She walked me through my birthing positions.  I didn’t know doctors were that hands on,” he added. “My name is Asahi, by the way...and this is my friend Hana.  Maybe...we can be friends?”

 

Yuuri smiled and nodded, exchanging information with the two younger omegas.  As they walked away, he leaned into Victor. “I feel like an old man.”

 

“Those were just babies,” Victor responded almost scandalized.  “That boy looked like he was barely out of school.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  He knew a number of omegas who started their parenting life early...his best friend Yuuko included.  “Some parents encourage heat partners. Mine made it my choice, which is why I never had any. Probably because of Mari, she can be...vocal.  Yuuko just knew she wanted to be with Takeshi. But I have to wonder if sometimes these early partnerings are due to old traditions. I think...not everyone has a choice.”

 

Victor hugged Yuuri.  “Omega protection” was often just window dressing for what it really was, “omega oppression”.  As Yuuri watched the other omegas interact with one another, he felt a fire start to rise up in him.

 

* * *

  


Yuuri skated across the ice, making slow turns as he brought his arms in to hug his body.  Victor was nearby, watching over him, making sure he was safe. They were almost back to normal.  Before normal. Not sleeping together normal. Yuuri still felt an anger burning within him...but now he knew it wasn’t directed to Victor.  He didn’t know if they would survive this as a couple, but he was thankful for Victor’s presence.

 

* * *

 

Victor’s phone buzzed drawing his attention and a smile settled on his features as he read the text.

 

**Chris/ It’s a boy!**

 

**Chris/ [picture of Lawrie, Chris, and their new baby boy Gabriel]**

 

* * *

  


NOTES:

 

[ Rape Crisis Training Manual ](https://rvap.uiowa.edu/assets/Uploads/CH-4-Victim-Impact.pdf) \- I focused on around page 8 where it talked about grief.

 

[ A Childbirth Cheat Sheet for Dads-to-Be ](https://www.babycenter.com/0_a-childbirth-cheat-sheet-for-dads-to-be_8244.bc)

 

[ A Man’s Guide to Pregnancy ](https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/a-mans-guide-to-pregnancy-your-progeny-enters-the-world/)

 

[ Dads:  10 ways to be a perfect birth partner ](https://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1072/dads-10-ways-to-be-the-perfect-birth-partner)

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter...baby is coming.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is wrapping up! I hope you love this conclusion!

* * *

 

Yuuri sat at the bar in the family kitchen watching Victor move from room to room cleaning.  “I thought it was supposed to be me going through the cleaning phase,” he commented wryly towards his sister.

 

“Victor certainly isn’t your typical alpha,” she agreed as she nursed her cup of coffee.  Her mother wasn’t near as kind to her hangovers as she was to Victor’s.

 

Hiroko chuckled behind him, busily working on that night’s meal.  “Oh, everyone responds to pregnancy different. And your body is likely releasing pheromones urging him to help his omega prepare and to keep you safe.”

 

Yuuri frowned at his mother’s words.  “Am I...his omega?”

 

Mother and daughter exchanged glances.  “Is there a reason to think otherwise?” Hiroko asked.

 

Yuuri shrugged.  

 

“He did move to an entirely different country for you,” Mari pointed out.

 

Yuuri squirmed a little, making excuses, “But he thought…”

 

They both leveled a disbelieving gaze at him and Yuuri stilled his tongue.  “Oh...he didn’t think…” Blinking in their direction, he slumped on the bar...as best as he could.  His tummy was getting harder to work around. “So...does that mean he’s my alpha?”

 

Again they gave him that look.  Then his mother spoke, her voice warm and encouraging, “Yuuri, that boy would be yours even if there were no alphas and omegas.  That boy is crazy about you and will turn the world upside down if that’s what you wanted. That boy...he responds to your pheromones just as you respond to his.  You may not be bonded, but you are imprinted on one another. If he were gone, you’d feel his loss as acutely as if you were bonded. And that’s just the biology of it.  The truth is, he loves you...entirely and completely. And there’s no hiding that you return that love to him.”

 

Yuuri sighed and knew she was right.  They connected from the beginning, that night way back in Sochi.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri shifted in bed, his back aching and in general discomfort.  When that offered no relief, he rolled out of bed walking towards his door when all of the sudden, his legs were wet.  Looking down in disbelief he saw the puddle on the floor. His brain was slowly catching up when his eyes widened and his breathing quickened in panic.  “Vitya!” he cried out.

 

He didn’t need to.  The alpha was already there, having smelled the distress and snapped awake immediately.  In a moment his arms were around Yuuri, the light on to check the situation. “I think your water broke.”

 

“It’s too soon,” Yuuri argued.

 

Victor shook his head.  “I don’t think it is. She said after your last visit the baby can come anytime...when she was ready.”

 

“But... _ I’m _ not ready!”  Yuuri’s voice went high as the panic continued to work through him.

 

Victor sighed as he studied the situation.  “Ready or not, she’s coming.” Sliding a hand up and down Yuuri’s back, he felt the omega pull into him, tugging away his shirt.   _ I’ll have to grab that bunny with my scent on it as something to help him focus through this.  _  He heard footsteps in the hallway and soon the room had Hiroko, Mari, and Toshiya making the space feel small and crowded.  “Why don’t we move out into the hallway?”

 

“I can’t!  I’m wet. I need to get cleaned up,” Yuuri argued.  Victor looked to the others to beg askance and as they stepped out, he closed the door.  Reaching into his drawers with efficient ease, he pulled out the things Yuuri would need.   _ Did we pack a bag?  Surely we packed a bag. _

 

Yuuri was kicking off his leggings, the clingy fabric sticking to him making him very unhappy.  Victor dropped a towel on the place where the water broke and handed Yuuri a loose fitting pair of pajama pants with some extra stretch.  “That shirt doesn’t match,” Yuuri argued. Victor sighed. It did but it wasn’t the one that came with the pajamas. He found the shirt that went with it and soon Yuuri felt more settled.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

 

Victor chuckled, pressing a kiss into Yuuri’s hair.  “Don’t apologize. I just want you comfortable for the work ahead.  Now...did we pack a bag?”

 

Yuuri shrugged but his eye went to a backpack near the door.  “I think it’s packed now.” Victor remembered. Yuuri had packed it, unpacked it, and repacked it.  At some point, he asked for the dress they picked up shopping together and Victor brought a few more things.  This caused another unpacking and repacking. Victor picked it up and opened it to find most of the things prepared, his mind mentally checking off  a list of supplies.

 

“I’m going to walk you downstairs where Hiroko can make sure you eat something, okay?  We have time and you’ll need something in you to do this.”

 

Yuuri nodded and as they opened the door, the entire family was still loitering in the hall.

 

“So it’s time?” Toshiya asked, his eyes smiling.

 

“Yuuri’s water broke but we haven’t timed the contractions.”  He turned to Hiroko, handing Yuuri off to her care. “He probably should eat something.  I’m going to clean up and gather his things for the hospital.”

 

“We’ll take care of him,” Hiroko promised and Victor reluctantly watched Yuuri and the family move downstairs.

 

In his room, Victor reached for the file he was worried about.  It had the birth plan they worked on together and with Dr. Ito, consulting the midwife who ran the class and Yuuri even took it one day to talk it over with Shuuji.  Looking around the room, he found the bunny. It had found its way into his bed which was good because that way it had soaked up Victor’s scent.  _ You always seem to be exactly where you’re needed.   _ He reached for a couple of items of clothing that also held his scent and his pillow.  He hesitated, then moved into the nursery. Inside, snugged up in the corner of the crib sat the baby’s bunny waiting for Shizuka’s appearance.  “Are you ready to meet Flip?” he asked the bunny.

 

_ Are you? _

 

Turning back, he grabbed his own backpack and checked its contents for his own  [ things ](https://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1045931/hospital-bag-for-dads) .  He smiled remembering the text from Chris warning him that he needed to have his own bag for the hospital.  He considered what else he would need and decided to grab a second pillow. The first was for Yuuri. Finding Yuuri’s  [ list ](https://www.babycentre.co.uk/what-to-pack-in-your-hospital-bag) of supplies, he rechecked his partner’s bag.  They needed snacks but for the most part, they had everything.  The going home bag was already in the car along with the carseat, tucked away in the back, hidden from Yuuri’s sight in case…

 

_ No.  Don’t think about that. _

 

He was joined by Mari as he headed out to the van and she took one of the bags from him.  He arranged the pillows in the seat for his Yuuri and placed the bags in easy reach. “Who’s coming with us?”

 

“Mom...Dad will come later in the car after he’s closed up the onsen properly and put out signs.”

 

Victor nodded, “How’s Yuuri doing?”

 

“Mom’s got him distracted with food and talk.  Dad’s been timing his contractions. I think he slept through a lot of them, figure skaters must have very high tolerances for pain.  They are close to five minutes apart.”

 

Victor blinked, that was much closer than he had anticipated, but still within time.  “I need to pack some snacks then we should be good.” Victor followed Mari back in and found the rest of the family in the kitchen.  “How are you doing,  _ solnyshko _ ?”

 

Yuuri swallowed the last of the rice his mother insisted he eat.  “I can’t believe I slept through most of it.”

 

“You’ve been complaining about your back bothering you for the last couple of days,” his mom pointed out.

 

“But that’s not...is that labor pains?”

 

Hiroko took away the empty bowl, “Some feel them in their backs, some down their legs, some like cramps during their cycle.”

 

Yuuri thought about how he felt the last few days, “I’ve been restless...and I couldn’t get comfortable.  I didn’t realize…”

 

“It’s fine, Yuuri...you are right on time for going to the hospital,” Victor reassured him as he went through the cabinets pulling out the things that would sustain them over the next day or so.  He had no plans to leave Yuuri’s side. Energy bars, sports drinks, water bottles. He could feel Hiroko’s judging eyes.

 

“I’ll bring something later,” she determined.  “You can’t survive on that.”

 

“Dr. Ito doesn’t want me to eat anything solid until after the baby is born after I reach the hospital,” Yuuri pointed out.  He nodded in approval towards the sports drinks.

 

Hiroko pursed her lips, “But Victor…”

 

“...won’t be leaving his side...and I don’t want to be cruel forcing him to smell your wonderful cooking.”  Victor moved to Yuuri’s side.

 

Hiroko raised an eyebrow, not convinced, but not willing to argue.  “Oh...well...since you put it that way…”

 

“Bring something for after the baby is born,” Yuuri suggested with a soft smile.  “I’m sure I’ll be starving.”

 

“I will!” she answered her eyes sparkling.

 

Then they were loaded up in the car, Yuuri now feeling his contractions and not sure if he appreciated Victor coaching him through his breathing.  “Quit blowing on me,” Yuuri frowned pushing Victor’s face away in the enclosed space. Victor pouted but pulled back. “Who’s watching the dogs?”

 

Hiroko turned around and smiled warmly.  “Your father for now, dear. He’s going to call your friends to pick them up before joining us at the hospital.”

 

Yuuri nodded, parts of the plans slipping away from his thoughts.  He turned to focus on Victor. “I’m scared,” he whispered.

 

“We’ve got it all written down along with several contingency plans.  We’ve gone over it with Dr. Ito. One of her midwives is meeting us at the hospital and reporting to her as soon as you get settled and he does a quick exam.”

 

Yuuri’s fears were quickly piling up on him.  “What if I’m not a good mother?”

 

“As much love as you put in everything, how could you not be?”  Victor encouraged him, hoping not to betray how much he wanted Yuuri to try.

 

The younger man was shaking his head, breathing through as a contraction hit him.  “She’ll probably be better with someone else...I’m going to fuck up her life. Just like I’ve fucked up my own.”

 

“Yuuri...focus on me.”  The command caught Yuuri’s attention.  Yuuri turned to face Victor, and his eyes widened as Victor tucked the patchwork bunny into his arms.  “You, _ lyubov moya _ , did not fuck up your life.  You are not fucked up. You...are perfect and I can’t imagine you any other way.  She will love you. No matter what you decide. And you will know when it’s time.”

 

Yuuri watched the blue eyes dancing before him, “I wrote a letter…”

 

“You did?”  The air left him as he considered the implication of that action.

 

Yuuri nodded.  “Just in case I give her away.  I didn’t want her to think I didn’t love her.”

 

Victor drew a deep breath and let it out, forcing a smile.  “I think that’s good.”

 

“You said...you had a letter from your mom...and a bunny.  I thought...she should at least have that.”

 

Victor smiled, keeping the pain of this behind his eyes, “And she will...at least that much.”

 

He closed his eyes, trying to rest between the contractions but then jerked awake.  “The blanket I made!”

 

“It’s in one of our bags.  Don’t worry,  _ solnyshko _ .

 

They pulled to a stop and soon Yuuri was helped into a wheelchair although he argued he could walk just fine.  Victor slung the backpacks over his shoulders. Mari grabbed the pillows. Hiroko placed the bunny in Yuuri’s lap, smiling warmly at her son.  “I think I had all of those same thoughts with my first one, Yuuri. Listen to your heart. Not your head.”

 

Yuuri nodded and then Victor was pushing him inside.  He glanced back to see Mari and his mother each carrying a pillow and following them in.  Checking him in was quick, they had done the pre-admission paperwork during their previous visit and then Yuuri was shown to his room.  Yuuri immediately moved to the bed, stripping it apart. Victor looked alarmed and glanced to the nurse who followed them in and that’s when he saw the foundations for a nest in the bundles in her arms.

 

“These rooms are preferred by omegas with strong nesting instincts,” the nurse explained.  “Do you have things from your home?”

 

“I brought...these two pillows,” Victor offered and then they were gone from Hiroko and Mari’s arms as Yuuri tucked them into the space.  “Will he deliver here?”

 

“No, this is for after...it’s a suite and if you go through that door, you’ll find the labor and delivery room.  Some of the options you checked on your birth plan are being brought inside but don’t worry, we’ll have the things you asked for in place soon.”

 

“Thank you,” Victor responded but his eyes were trained on his omega who had stopped the process to breathe through another labor pain.  “Where do we stay?”

 

“This whole space is dedicated to you and your omega for the entire process.  There is a door if he wants some fresh air and it goes into a garden that is shared by the other rooms.  The bathroom is through this door and if he needs a shower, that’s fine but we’d prefer if someone to be in there with him.”  She turned as she considered what else. “We have a small area for him to store his clothes and then there is a minifridge for drinks and such.  We have it stocked with water bottles, apple juice, and white grape juice.”

 

“I brought some sports drinks…”

 

“And that’s fine, it is on the list of allowed drinks for pre-delivery.  But sometimes the process is long and this way we can get some nutrients in him as well.”

 

Victor considered her words, hoping it Yuuri wouldn’t be in labor too long.  “Okay...I think I’ll see if Yuuri needs anything.”

 

Yuuri was curled up in his nest trying to see if there was anything else he needed.  The round bed was full of washable pieces and Victor suspected it was similar to the kind used in heat house.  Yuuri pushed up and reached for him. “It needs to smell like us.” And then he moved over to one side.

 

Victor looked around not sure if he was supposed to enter the beds but then Yuuri’s whine reached him and Victor found himself crawling into the space.  Yuuri moved against him, pulling at his hand and pushing his wrist along the fabric until Victor began scenting the surface himself. Every few minutes, Yuuri would shift and become still, panting through the labor pains.  Victor began to rub his back and could see Yuuri visibly relax. Once it subsided, Yuuri moved into his arms.

 

“I don’t deserve you,” he cried, emotional, and tears were coming from his eyes.  Victor tightened his arms around Yuuri and heard him sniffing against his neck. “I want you, though.  I...love you.”

 

“Deserving has nothing to do with it.  I feel like I could never deserve someone as sweet and loving as you, but here we are.  And I love you, too, my Yuuri...and I most definitely want you,” Victor reassured him.

 

Sniffing, Yuuri pulled back, his expression vulnerable.  “Really?”

 

Victor’s voice gentled.  “Of course,  _ solnyshko _ .”

 

* * *

  
  


Three hours later, and Yuuri was sitting on the birthing ball in the delivery room, arms wrapped around Victor’s waist as he breathed through his next contraction.  Victor rolled tennis balls wrapped in a pair of socks up and down his back from above.

 

Two more hours passed them by and he was dilated to 7 cm only to stop.  Dr. Ito frowned and told them to walk. Victor took Yuuri out and the wandered through the labyrinth of the garden, summer blooms full of their strong scent wafting up to greet them.  “This baby’s never going to come,” Yuuri murmured.

 

“She’ll come in due time...she’s stubborn like her mother.  We will wait for her to be ready.”

 

Yuuri sighed turning in his arms.  “I love her...you know that, don’t you?”

 

Victor nodded, resting his cheek against the top of Yuuri’s head.  “I do know that. You know that I love her as well, don’t you?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I won’t be a good mother.”

 

“Why do you say that?”

 

Yuuri blinked at his tears.  “Because I’m broken...I’m so messed up.”

 

Victor turned to face Yuuri, but kept them both walking, “You are  _ not broken _ , love...you’re the strongest person I know.  I watch you with the triplets, with Yura. You have such a gentle soul but you know when to be firm.  I think...you’ll be the best mother.”

 

Yuuri held onto Victor’s hands, following him as they walked, “I’m scared...I don’t want to mess this up.”

 

Victor smiled wide, trying to reassure the man, “And that’s why you will be a good mother.”

 

“But...I wanted to give her up.”  Yuuri’s eyes were watering freely, mixture of emotion and pain.

 

Victor caught the past tense feeling elation in his heart but didn’t point it out.  “I know...because you love her and want what’s best for her. But you are allowed to change as you know more...more about her, more about yourself.”

 

Yuuri clung to him as he considered those words.  “And you?”

 

“As much as I want to keep her, Yuuri, I won’t decide this for you.  I want you to be at peace with  _ your _ decision.”

 

They continued walking the full round and made their way back to the outer circle that greeted the rooms.  There were others milling about, omega moms and beta moms. He was the only male at this time and they gave him similar strained smiles as they passed him, focusing on their own labor.

 

* * *

  
  


Two and a half hours later, Victor held onto Yuuri as he squatted, stretching upward to pull some of the strain off of his back.  The exam showed Yuuri drawing near.

 

“Vitya…” he moaned, and Victor knew even Yuuri’s incredible stamina was wearing out.  Helping him to the bed, Victor helped him to find a position on his side where he’d be more comfortable, getting the extra pillows from the pile in the corner to support Yuuri between his knees and under the baby.  Yuuri had been quiet for the most part and that worried Victor as he ran his hand up and down Yuuri’s back. 

 

When the silence grew too much for him, Victor implored, “Yuuri, talk to me,”

 

Yuuri blinked rapidly, which Victor knew was a sign of tears.  Sniffing, he murmured, “I can’t keep her. I’m not going to be able to do this.”

 

Victor closed his eyes, “Yuuri...you can’t decide now…”  He didn’t want to influence him, but he also didn’t want to see Yuuri make a decision when he was too emotional to be rational.

 

“I know...I keep thinking of all of the things that could happen.  I’m going to mess this up.”

 

“Yuuri...you’re exhausted.  Don’t give up on this now. Wait until after she’s born, okay?”

 

When Dr. Ito examined him the next time, she gave Victor a nod.  Yuuri’s misery at that point was acute and he kept saying, “I can’t do this...I don’t want to do this anymore…”

 

Victor helped Yuuri out of his nest and into the delivery room, Yuuri’s breathing showing evidence of his labor.  The birthing bed had a break away lower half and they had it lowered for the squat position Dr. Ito preferred for this last stage.  Yuuri sat on his knees in the lower part as Victor sat on the upper part, the omega’s arms wrapped around his waist, his head lying on Victor’s lap.  Victor soothed him with his fingers in his hair. “You’re doing great, my Yuuri,” he encouraged in a soft voice.

 

The monitor echoed the baby’s heart through the room and Yuuri focused on the steady pattern, thinking of her, what would she need from him, what he could give her.  A voice was interrupting his thoughts and it took a moment to realize it was Dr. Ito.

 

“Yuuri, we need to turn you around now.  We’re getting ready to bring your daughter into the world.”

 

“Shizuka,” Yuuri whispered.  His daughter was Shizuka.

 

She smiled warmly and repeated, “Shizuka.”

 

Guiding hands settled him into position and he was glad he practiced all of that because he was sure all of those hands would freak him out otherwise.  He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing as he tried to push away the image of the emergency workers also gloved, also talking to him, trying to pull him back to reality, as they removed him from his three day prison.  Ciao Ciao had been there.  _ Where is he now? _  Yuuri’s breathing became more rapid, panicked as those images overlayed reality.  Memory mixed into the moment and he became disoriented.

 

_ Shit...so much for not freaking out. _  A voice from above, “You’re safe, Yuuri…” and then a hand pressed against his face.  A familiar scent. Then things started coming back together. 

 

“Yuuri...stay with us now,” Dr. Ito urged firmly.

 

“I’m right here with you, Yuuri,” Victor reassured him.

 

Yuuri nodded, and then he knew he needed to push, bearing down as Victor supported him, held his hands somehow at the same time, counting to ten and then telling him to relax.  His eyes met Dr. Ito’s who smiled encouragingly. “You’re doing good, Yuuri. This next one is the hardest push. It will feel like a ring of fire and I need you to push past it to get her head free.  Okay?”

 

Yuuri nodded, tightening his hands and then he felt the urge come again.  He pushed, crying out as he did so and he kept pushing as she broke free and came out.  “You did so good! You’re little girl is here.” Yuuri was reaching for her even as they helped reset the table, placing her on his tummy, his clothes abandoned two hours ago, and she lying skin-to-skin against him.

 

Victor stood next to Yuuri, watching the two of them interact.  A small blanket was laid over baby and mama while the doctor checked the cord and waited for it to stop pulsing.  She looked up and asked Victor, “Are you cutting the cord?”

 

Victor’s eyes widened and he looked towards Yuuri with worried eyes.  “Oh...ummm...does it hurt?”

 

She chuckled and said, “No...but some fathers do want the honor of cutting the cord.”  Victor accepted the scissors and approached the place indicated clamped off on both sides.  He took in a deep breath and closed one eye, wincing as he held the scissors to the task. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard Yura’s voice telling him to cut the damn cord, asshole!  He glanced at Yuuri to make sure he wasn’t hurting as he made the cut, but Yuuri was lovingly stroking his baby, his expression soft.

 

Then Mr. Dr. Ito was at Yuuri’s side checking over the baby, doing the tests so that they could stay close, Shizuka offering a small coo in response to the gentle pediatrician’s probing.  He smiled down at the lovely cherub smile, all of her features crying out Yuuri...except beautiful blue eyes. No one would have doubted Victor as the father, Victor realized.

 

The baby began rooting around and with the midwife’s help, she was mouthing at Yuuri’s nipple.  “Sometimes it takes them a little bit to catch on but if we do this sooner rather than later, they don’t have as much problems latching on,” she explained.

 

Yuuri nodded his eyes on baby, his finger stroking her cheek.  She was just as naked as Yuuri curled up against him looking around.   It was twenty five minutes into her life when he felt the final stage set in, the placenta.  “Can I hold onto her?” he asked as the nurse began to massage the womb.

 

“Yes, and you should.”  Then the nurse nodded to Victor.  “You stay close, she needs to know your scent.”

 

Victor nodded moving in next to Yuuri and his eyes widened as Yuuri sought out his scent as well.  “Stay close to me,” the omega whispered.

 

“I couldn’t imagine being far away at this moment.”  His hand slid over the baby... _ has Yuuri decided?  Is she...ours? _

 

“Talk to her,” Yuuri murmured.  “She knows your voice.”

 

“Hi...baby Flip,” Victor began and received an amused glare from the omega.  “How are you?”

 

“She’s hungry...I think?”  Yuuri stroked her cheek leading her back to the breast.

 

Victor looked at the messy infant, “Does she get a bath soon?”

 

Yuuri cocked an eyebrow at Victor.  “I swear you and I were reading different baby guides.  Not for forty-eight hours. It will improve her immunity.”

 

Victor wanted to ask  _ can we keep her? _ but didn’t know how to broach the subject.  She was all Yuuri with just her blue eyes citing the different.  She was alert and watching the world around her as she took hold of Victor’s finger and squeezed it.  “She’s perfect…”

 

“I know…”  Yuuri looked up at him, his eyes soft, his frown unsure.

 

“What’s the matter, Yuuri?”

 

“I...don’t have anything she needs.  I didn’t expect to fall in love so quickly.”

 

Victor leaned in and kissed Yuuri’s hair.  His heart was soaring. “Don’t worry. We can work all of that out.”

 

“And there are samples sent home from the hospital,” the nurse added.  “You’ll be able to take all of the things off of her crib cart. Pampers, bottles, blankets, even the little cap.  All of those go with baby.”

 

“Oh…”  Yuuri relaxed and looked up at Victor.  “Turn your head.” Yuuri closed his eyes, holding his baby close but trying not to make faces at the odd sensation of expelling the afterbirth.  And then he felt the cool cloth wiping him clean by one nurse while another checked the placenta to make sure it was intact.

 

“You did beautifully,” Dr. Ito reassured him.  And then he was approved to be returned to the more comfortable room.

 

Once in his room, Yuuri didn’t want to lose the skin to skin contact so Victor tucked a blanket around them to preserve Yuuri’s modesty.  Baby girl finally figured out how to latch on and her grunts and groans as she nursed endeared her further. “Vitya...can we do this?”

 

Victor couldn’t take his eyes off of  _ his _ daughter, afraid to even blink and miss a moment, “At this point, I believe we can do anything.”

 

As she finished and started looking around, Victor finally invited in the rest of the family.  Hiroko was immediately at Yuuri’s side. “She’s so beautiful.”

 

Yuuri smiled tenderly, pulling back the blanket that held in the warmth from Yuuri’s body.  “She came out...perfect.” Looking over at Victor, he added, “Everyone’s going to think she’s yours.”

 

“I’m actually okay with that,” Victor stated even as he stroked his hand through Yuuri’s hair.  “My sweet Yuuri, you did amazing work bringing this girl into the world.”

 

It was Mari who cut through the chase.  “So what are you going to do?”

 

Yuuri watched her for a moment before answering, “Take her home...and do my best to be a good mom.”

 

There seemed to be a collective sigh of relief from his entire family.  They had all been falling in love with her over the months and now finally meeting her, the idea of letting her go would have broken a lot of hearts.

 

* * *

* * *

  
  


The paperwork for Katsuki Shizuka born August 3rd proved complicated.  “I...want you to be her papa, Vitya.”

 

“But?” the alpha prompted knowing there was more to Yuuri’s words.

 

“But that would deny what happened to me.  I need to be able to say where she came from.  I’m...going to fight this. And in order to do that, I have to be able to talk about what I went through.  Her birth means something. And although I’m glad to hold her in my arms now, the mental anguish I went through due to oppressive laws, the lack of security due to university administration, I can’t sweep that under the rug and forget it.  I...I want to have a voice.”

 

“I...could adopt her.”  Victor’s hand stroked her back.  She’d been sleeping since her diaper was changed.  “If...you’ll let me.”

 

Yuuri smiled up at him, the man who hasn’t left his side except maybe for a shower because Yuuri demanded it.  “Of course I’ll let you, idiot. I wouldn’t be here without you. You shared your strength without asking anything in return.  You loved me without condition and that love spilled over onto my...onto  _ our _ daughter...without hesitation...knowing I might give her up.  And besides...you...you are my mate.”

 

Victor looked down to his omega with the tenderest expression.  “I...feel the same way, my Yuuri.”

 

“I know...I’m not ready for bonding.  Not because I don’t want to bond but because I want to deal with all of the things in my head first.  I want to go into our bond stronger. I’m going to go to counseling. And...I’m going to fight for my place back on the ice...and in the world.”

 

Victor’s heart leapt for the second time that day.  Yuuri’s strength and resolve were nothing to mess with and he almost felt sorry for the people who had tried to deny the omega his voice...almost.  “I will stand behind you the whole journey, my Yuuri. And we’ll hire all of the lawyers we need to fight against these...injustices.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

* * *

  
  


Victor led Yuuri upstairs, baby wrapped in the blanket Yuuri quilted for her, and into their room.  “So...remember when I said this one room would be a great nursery?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “We can do that now…”

 

“Well, I sorta already did it.”  He opened the door and Yuuri’s eyes widened.  The room not only held the furniture but a number of gifts placed around the rocking chair.  Yuuri went to the chair, remembering it from his childhood. “This was broken,” he whispered.  “I stood up in it to reach something on the shelf and my foot went through the seat and I tumbled onto the floor.  It was my first broken bone as a kid and the moment that my mother decided I had too much energy and put me into ballet class.”

 

Victor smiled, watching Yuuri inspect the long lost treasure, “Your father helped me to fix it.  He thought you might want it.”

 

Yuuri sniffed and nodded, sitting down in the chair.  He looked up as he wiped his tears to catch Victor once more with his camera up.  No pictures would be posted publicly until they made the announcement but Yuuri knew he was keeping record.  Plus, there were a select few they trusted with the news ahead of time. “Vitya...I look tired and worn...and red and blotchy.”

 

“And beautiful!” Victor argued.  “Those gifts...they are from your rinkmates...and Chris and Lawrie.  Your father helped me to fix the chair and build the shelf and he found this chest of drawers.  We sanded it and refinished it. Your mother made the things in the crib, the blankets and sheets.  And Yuuko helped me to shop for all of the other things needed.”

 

Yuuri smiled at the surprise, then furrowed his brow, “What if...what if I didn’t keep her?”

 

Victor’s expression softened, he crossed to where Yuuri sat and knelt down.  “We were going to quietly donate them to charity. You’d never need to know about them.  I...never wanted to cause you more pain.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes were watery and then the first tear fell followed by the next.  He held his daughter close to his chest, her dress in the purples and pinks and blues billowing around her as she snuggled into her mama’s arms.  Yuuri began to rock and she snuggled tighter. 

 

Victor watched the scene enraptured, “Are you happy, Yuuri?”

 

The omega nodded.  “I am...I know I have so many battles ahead...but I feel stronger, ready to fight, ready to show Yura that monsters don’t win.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


NOTES:

 

What? An ABO fic without a heat chapter?  Don’t worry...there is a second part. Watch out for the next chapter of their life in  _ The Inconvenient Truth _ ...where Yuuri finally faces the truth of his rape and with Victor’s help, finds healing.

 

[ The Try Guys Try 14 Hours of Labor Pain Simulation ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkUskA-stM8&t=1s)

 

[ How to Cut the Umbilical Cord ](https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-cut-an-umbilical-cord-2752960) ...yes, one of the required elements is to have a baby.

 

[ 8 Reasons Why Doctor’s Recommend Not to Give Newborns a Bath ](https://childrensmd.org/browse-by-age-group/pregnancy-childbirth/delaying-babys-first-bath-8-reasons-why-doctors-recommend-waiting-up-to-48-hours-before-bathing-a-newborn/)

 

[ What Happens to Your Baby After Delivery ](https://www.babycenter.com/0_what-happens-to-your-baby-after-delivery_182.bc)

  
  


This chapter is dedicated to BluSkates who shares Shizuka’s birthday.  Thanks for all of the hard work and encouragement as I write so many words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know...it's over. But there is the promise for more. We get to see sassy Yuuri coming into his own. I project the first posting in one week but who knows, I might get impatient. (Schedules schmedules!) The Inconvenient Truth will explore his fight to have his voice as well as him becoming stronger. You'll also see Victor facing some of his own truths. Look forward to seeing you in the next and if you haven't read my other stories, please...check them out.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! My editor so far is BluSkates and I greatly appreciate her time and attention given to this fic. I do love comments, kudos, shares, and all the love you can give. If you can't play nice, find another sandbox. I will delete rude comments. Otherwise, HAPPY READING!


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